Had someone told me that loss is a part of my life I will never be able to leave behind. I would never believe you. In fact I'd look at my parents and my family and tell you to leave me.

That would be sixteen years ago. A fifteen year old Sagarika's fantasy.

Now, when I see death all around me, I cannot say otherwise...

Kali stood by, sitting on the ground. She was weeping. Her head on  Sudhuma's shoulder.

Bheem stood by, his eyes dark and moist. I couldn't help but go up to him.

" Bheem?" I whispered and he shook his head.

"Not today bhabhi shree. Your words will feel empty today, no matter how much love you may pour into them. Today they'll be empty reassurances. Please. " He joined his hands in front of me, " Let me grieve my son Samragyi. " He mumbled and I nodded numbly.

" Sagarika. Come here. " Yudhishthir's soft voice called and I nearly tumbled into his arms. He held me close, tucking my face into his chest, as if it would hide all the problems in our world.

Both Kali and Sphulingini looked at the shrouds of their children, waiting for them to have their chance at salvation.

" Why Vasudev."  Sulo's voice broke me out of my reverie.

" Why punish the righteous Vasudev. Why does the karm chakr work this way? " She asked and he shook his head, eyes sharp.

" The karm chakr works in mysterious ways Devi Sulohita. I couldn't answer your question even if I knew. " He said.

But it was of no use. As they finally lit the pyres, howls of my sister's cries filled the air.

To this day, I can hear their painful goodbyes. Yudhishthir sometimes sees me wake up to them and he knows to leave me alone when I do.

But as the day ended, it also brought with it other issues.

My scorpion bite was intentional it seemed. They chose a deadly scorpion, the red scorpion. When I say pain took over my body, I mean it. My nervous system felt like it was shutting down. Briefly in that haze I could see Kali's panic as she felt she'd lose her sister again. But the fear of the moment made her forget that I wouldn't die. These were the times when the lines between Sagarika and Karali were blurred. My human side feared death. But Karali feared her sister losing her sanity. It seemed as if I was one, but I had two souls in me.

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That night as the dark settled and I walked into the tent, I saw my husband sitting on the table, eyes dark with unshed tears.

The war had scorned us all. Destroyed all our lives.

Yudhishthir's eyes were hard as he studied a map. His scruff, which I constantly told him earlier I disliked was my only moment of peace, along with my children.

"Yudhishthir, come sleep. " I whispered to him, holding his face with one hand. Even in this environment, he knew where his home was. He sighed, sinking into my palm, turning his head to press a kiss to it.

" Yes. But I.. I can't sleep Sagarika. I just cannot. " He mumbled. I knew what troubled him. His 'lie' haunted him, still making him question who he was now.

" Why Yudhishthir? What is it? "

" I.. I've lost Sagarika. We may win this war. We may loose it. But I have lost. I have lost the one thing in my life that I held paramount. That I never compromised with. My honesty. " He groaned, pressing his hands into his eyes in frustration.

I couldn't bear to see him so hurt. I knew he was wrong, because he never lied. A half truth is a half lie, true. But it's only a lie if it's revealed. So I wiped my tears, sitting on my knees, pulling his face into my hands.

" You haven't lied- no look at me! " I forced his eyes to meet mine.

His eyes, which were always chocolate brown, full of life and wisdom were now dark, as if decaying. His mind was warring with himself. I knew it.

" You didn't lie. And even if you did. I don't think you are a bad man, not at all. And I definitely don't think it makes you any less than what you were and are. A wise and strong King, a caring son, a loving husband and a dedicated father. Your children, me, your mother. Neither of us think you low for -"

"- but I do! I have fallen in my own eyes! " He exclaimed, shifting out of my hold.

" Yudhishthir-"

"- my honesty was a part of me which I never lost. I couldn't. But this war! This war-" He broke off, muffling his tears with his fist on his lips, eyes forced shut.

It broke my heart to see him like this. To see the man I knew to be the most honourable and loving man, one I trusted above anyone else to feel that his own existence was lost.

" Yudhishthir, " I chided, sitting by him as I pulled him into a hug, " You haven't lost yourself. You're still you. Wait. Look at me." I said, holding his hand to my heart.

" You trust me?" I asked and his eyes darkened.

" More than myself. " He said sternly.

" Then trust when I say you didn't lose yourself. That you didn't lie. " He was ready to protest but I held my hand to his mouth.

" Are you a bonehead? " I said, and his eyes shone with unshed tears, " Then trust me. We cannot linger with this. We need to win. For our children. For us. For our kingdom. For all of Aryavart. We need to win. " I said and he nodded, still breathing hard.

I moved close, pressing a soft kiss to his lips and his eyes flew open.

" It has been a while since I did this. I feel like you need it. " I whispered. He looked at me, as if a deer in headlights, before yanking me into his arms, burrowing his head into my hair.

" I will never forget how lucky I am to have you. To know you will love me. No matter what. " He mumbled.

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But as the day came, we knew what to do.

Dushasan was to die today. And Nakul was in his most vengeful form. His eyes were not their usual shade of the calm sea, today they were dark tidal waves ready to destroy all who stood in the path of his vow.

Mini stood next to me. " He'll be fine.. Won't he? Promise me didi. Promise me you'll bring him back alive. " She muttered. I couldn't help but clutch her into a hug. " Is that even a question? " I promised.

" Come Samragyi. Today's Bhairav awaits your blessings. " Arjun's cold voice broke out and I nodded. I looked up at Nakul's determined face..

" I won't say anything to you. All I will say is. I know you will succeed. " I said and he nodded stiffly, eyes trained ahead.

" Har har Mahadev! " Loud choruses rang from the entire army.  A silent tear left Nakul's eye before he raced off.

Today no one could stop him.

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Nakul's sword was Vajr itself today, as it moved through the army, clearing everyone in its path.

While Arjun, Bheem and Yudhishthir kept Duryodhan busy, we helped Nakul reach Dushasan.

When I saw Nakul's eyes finally fall on Dushasan, I was sure. Today Kaal Bhairav himself had stepped onto the field.

" Dushasan! " He roared, " Remember my vow! "

His horse galloped faster than our eyes could track.

While they clashed furiously, I saw Ashwatthama moving here, as if to protect the prince.

" Ashwatthama! " Another voice called, as Sahdev's axe swirled in the air, demolishing Ashwatthama's chariot.

" No! " Another voice called and I saw Shakuni limping into the venue, AJ behind him as he slashed his sword. Shakuni tried his best. But AJ was trained by the best sword fighter amongst us sisters. His wife.

As they danced around each other, we made sure to allow Nakul to fight and eventually, as he ripped the sword out of Dushasan's hand, he raised his sword and in one swift move, cut of both his arms.

"NO!" Duryodhan's yell broke us all out of our fights, as we watched him wrestle through to Dushasan and Nakul, but by the time he could, Nakul raised his sword, driving it straight through his heart.

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This is why I never understand college. One day they say, fest next day so no classes. The very next morning they message fest cancelled and classes are back.

Anyways.. Tell me how it was.

Much love

Radhekrishn ♥