I rushed into our room, but couldn't see anything, the room shrouded in the dark.

I raised my hand to light the lamps, but all of a sudden, a sharp gust of wind blew the lights away.

I heard the distinctive sound of metal slicing in air. I ran out to the balcony, barely avoiding the spear that would poke my eyes.

" Leave Sagarika," It's holder called, his voice cold and soft.

" I know you're angry -"

" - I said leave! " He shouted, pulling the spear behind, yet continued it's dance in the air.

I had seen him do this every day, morning and evening, while training recruits for our army and while he taught our dear Abhi.

But never were they performed in rage, his own form of Tandav.

" Yudhishthir! Please -"

" - I do not want to talk to you. I asked you to leave! " He exclaimed, as he threw the spear at the target in the room, the metal hissed past my ear.

" Please, I know I hid it from you -"

" -How long have you known? " He asked, his voice carried an eerie calmness that I couldn't place.

" Please try and understand-"

" - I asked you how long you've known Karali. Nothing more, answer my question. " He turned his head, pulling the spear out of the target.

" T-two yea-years, " I whispered, dreading his next words.

" Ah, so you have known for two years that any war fought can result in the death of our son, my brother's sons and yet you didn't deign to tell his father the truth! " He scowled.

" I - please try to understand-"

"- what should I understand Sagarika? You and I have a pact. Do not hide anything related to the children, do we not? Yet you chose to lie to me, not tell me the truth and for what? Fear! You didn't think, that the guilt you'd house for years after the war would be detrimental to us as husband and wife? Tell me, not even mine, would you be able to meet your own eyes, knowing that your son can die and you didn't tell her father. Could you? " He asked and his words stopped me in my place.

I know he's right. I know what he's saying is the truth, but I am sorry for it. I regret not telling him, but would it solve our current problem?

So I took a deep breath and I sighed, " I'm sorry. " I uttered, " I'm sorry I didn't tell you and I hope you don't think I'm trying to escape your anger, but us fighting over this right now won't help us. Right now we need to figure out how to save our children. I promise. If later you don't want me with you, I won't st-stop you. You can separate the rooms and-"

I felt one hand covering my mouth as stern eyes looked at me from above.

" - apology accepted. And don't you dare ever talk about being away from me, " He whispered then held my face, " I love you Sagarika. But this is not the way, you must be honest with me, most of all with things that concern a part of our own heart. Our children are our world, we fight for them together, alright? " He said and I nodded, burrowing into his chest as I felt relief wash over me. His arms, after years of love placed themselves at their usual position, one over my head and the other over my waist.

" Two years ago? Is this the night -"

" Yes," I murmured, pressing myself closer.

" Don't worry, I promised you didn't I? I won't let anything happen to you. You trust me and I want to trust you too. " He stroked my hair, softly clearing the tangles.

" I know, I promise. I won't lie to you ... Well, unless it's necessary-"

" - lying is never nec-"

" - oh it absolutely is, it's necessary when I'm hiding things you aren't supposed to know, like birthday plans... Anniversary plans... Baby plans, " I smirked and he raised one eyebrow.

" Baby plans? I thought you sweared off of them? " He nuzzled my nose as I laughed.

" Well, I could just be throwing you off, " I giggled and he frowned.

" You could, but you won't.... Right? " He asked, his eyes widening a bit.

" No! No no. Don't worry, we're good." I said and he smiled.

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"

What now, do we fight? " He asked as we sat in the main lounge.

Right now, my mind was warring.

A mother against a queen.

Samragyi Sagarika knew that the war was necessary, inevitable. It had to be done.

Mumma Sagarika was in no mood to even let her husband, let alone her children into a warfield... And her children also included her dear devars.

" I don't think we have a choice. Other than to wait... Krishn is right. Even if we do fight, you and the others need to go for your meditation. Acquire boons. We need all the support we can get, " I said, massaging my temples.

" I understand, but I will not leave you alone here. We do not know what all Duryodhan will be planning. I cannot let you be here, alone, " He said and I breathed deep.

" Then stay close by. We must figure out how you will meditate with your schedule. Either I will take over most of the court, or someone else will. But for you to be able to meditate well, we need you to have that much time. "

" I know. And I'd rather you take over than anyone else. " He sighed, reclining back into the sofa as he hung his head back.

" Should we truly be worrying about a war which we have nothing to do with now? Why not just do our work. You meditate, I will handle the court. All of us. You brothers need to go, pray, meditate. We'll figure out how we can help. " I said and he nodded.

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The next few weeks passed like that. Meditate, overwork in a sabha and basically ending up exhausted by the end of the day.

To top it off, Madhu wanted to go to Dwarika. With her new friend Vir.

"Packed everything? " I asked as she locked the last trunk, her eyes bright.

" I have! I'm so excited to go! " She squealed.

" And what about me? You're leaving me alone? " I asked, dragging her up my lap .

" Oh mumma please... You and i both know you're a very teensy bit happy to have your hands free. I know you and papa are busy... Don't worry. Mama Krishn says all time passes, good, bad, hard, easy. "

" Yes, your mama is what got me into this mess. What else will he tell you," I groused.

" See you soon? I need to go bid goodbye to mausi also! " She rushed out... She'd grown up.. So smart for a thirteen year old.

Time flows fast... But Krishn's words still haunt me... No matter what.

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Okey dokey...

Tell me how it was...

Much love

Radhekrishn ♥