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"Get off me!" I scream, ripping out of their grasp as I catch my breath, swallowing harshly before staring down the three of them. "Is it so fucking wrong I wanted to see my fucking twin brother for a few minutes before running for the mother-fucking hills to who knows where?! Because we're trapped in Cate's cunty ass mind?! Huh?!" My voice roars, raising an octave at each word.

Marie swallows, Andre looks anywhere but my eyes, and Jordan looks like I'm a ticking timebomb waiting to go off. Well I am.

"I'm sick of this shit." I spit out, so done. So done. With everything.

"Goldie." Andre starts.

Are you fucking serious?

"Don't fucking Goldie me, Andre!" I yell at him.

"What do you want me to say, Iliana?!" He shouts back.

A ringing sound fills my ears as all the energy sucks out of the air instantly...

I stare at him in udder awe. "How could you?"

"Seriously, Andre?" Marie jumps in, and for once I couldn't be more grateful. He turns to her. "You're that guy?"

"What, you don't think I feel like a piece of shit?" He fires back at her.

Ah. He does have something to say.

"You should." I mumble.

Jordan scoffs, rolling their eyes at him.

"I loved her." Andre 'defends.'

"And Luke? Right?" I squint at him. "And me. Yet here we are."

Andre tilts his head me when Luke's muffled voice sounds from Brinks office...

"Stop fucking lying to me."

"Luke?" I turn my attention to the door, confused.

"Hey, you need to calm down." Brink's voice makes me want to vomit.

"No, I'm not gonna calm down unless you give me some answers." Luke's voice turns irate and my eyes widen.

Marie, Andre, and Jordan all turn to each other but my focus remains on the door. Jordan passes me, going first, as the rest of us trail behind.

"Luke, you know what I always tell you." Brink says.

"No, fuck that, okay? I don't want to hear that any more of your bullshit..." Luke snaps at him and I couldn't be more proud, rather this is even fucking real or not. Hearing Luke tell him off felt good.

"Hey." Jordan lets out a complaint as someone shoulder checks them breezing by.

I watch horrified realization washes over their face before looking back at the door to find Jordan in their female form pressing their ear up against the door to listen inside.

"Oh, shit." Andre says.

Is this...

"Do we think Cate's in there?" Marie asks, hopeful.

"She isn't. This isn't Cate's memory." Jordan finally speaks up. "It's mine." Their voice trembles causing my forehead to crease.

What happened behind that door that's so bad?

Luke and Brink's arguing continues as Andre turns to them.

"How?" He questions. "How the fuck is it yours?"

I swallow. "A-are you sure?"

My blood turn ice fucking cold. If Cate can access our memories...

Memory Jordan knocks on the door. "Professor Brink, you okay?"

"What the fuck was that, Brink?!" I hear Luke shout. Oh, God- was Brink hurting him?

"I need some help in here." Brink calls out.

Memory Jordan opens the doors wide and I burst forward, desperately needing to see what happened.

"What the fuck did you just do?" Luke roars. "Where's Sam? I want to see him right now." He takes a step forward and my stomach churns to find Brink standing with his hands up, a needle in one hand.

Wait- Sam? Luke's asking about Sam? Was asking about him?

"What's going on?" Fem Jordan asks, looking between the two in confusion.

This was when I was gone. Oh, my God... Luke knew about Sam while I was gone?!

Luke turns to Jordan with wide-crazed eyes. "He's a fucking liar." He looks back at Brink. "Tell me everything."

"What the hell is going on, Jordan?" Andre whispers to our current Jordan.

"Jordan, what is this?" I glance back at them. "Hmmm?"

Brink glances to his right. "It's all right, buddy. It's all right." He tries to ease. I'll tell you everything. Just take it easy. Easy."

Memory Jordan slowly starts moving towards Brink's drinks, opening the small wooden cabinet.

"You're so full of shit." Luke spits out. "Where Iliana, hmm? Where is she?!"

"She's on her movie, okay. She's filming." Brink tells him. "Breathe. Deep breath."

Luke's eyes light up dark orange before Jordan quickly comes up behind him, shoving an oxygen mask over his nose and he falls backward to the floor.

My jaw drops as I let out a gasp. My head snaps in Jordan's direction, nostrils flaring, and if I had my powers right now, I'd think the entire fucking room would be drowning in sunlight.

Brink leans over to his desk, quickly pushing the intercom button. "I need a response team in here now."

Marie lets out a shaky breath as her mouth parts, staring at the scene while my body starts to shake with anger at Jordan. Hot tears threaten to form, but I'm so fucking sick of crying that I force them back.

Two doctors hurry in with a stretcher and lift Luke onto it. Jordan watches guiltily as they roll Luke out of the office.

Brink grumbles, pulling me somewhat back to the ongoing memory.

"Jordan." He says loudly and both present and memory Jordan turn to look at him, the same expression written on both of their faces. "What do I always say, huh?" Brink smiles lightly. "Being a hero, it's not about the glory. It's about..."

"It's about sacrifice." Jordan's feminine voice finishes, echoing through my head to the point my head pounds. Brink nods proudly. "I know, sir, but what the hell kind of sacrifice was that?"

"Well, Luke... Luke needs cutting-edge treatments." Brink begins, moving to lean against his desk. "Put him over the edge."

A loud slamming noise crashes inside my head.

"That boy could be Homelander strong." Brink continues. "But sometimes... sometimes he has a bad reaction."

Fem Jordan licks their lips. "If Luke's getting cutting-edge treatments, I want 'em, too." They state.

My head snaps back in their direction. "Are you fucking serious?!" I snap.

"Always looking out for yourself, huh?" Andre says to them.

I scoff, moving my gaze to him. "Don't you fucking start."

Brink chuckles and I force my eyes back to him before I slap the shit outta of both of them.

"Kid, you got a strong head. You don't need 'em." Brink dismisses Jordan. He straightens. "Tell me, do you remember sitting in that chair." Brink points. "A scared-shitless freshman who never wanted to switch?" He moves closer to them. "And I promised that I would always take good care of you. Remember?"

Jordan nods and I see out of the corner of my eyes the real Jordan nod as well, tearing up.

"Now... Jordan," Brink places his hand on their shoulder. "People just don't understand the lows it takes to reach great heights." He tells them... his words eating away at my insides.

God, I wish I could peel my skin off.

"And so now I want you to promise me, as my new T.A., that you will always protect me." Brink tells them. "Not a word of this to anyone."

"You're making me your T.A.?" Memory Jordan asks.

"That's how you became Brink's gatekeeper?" Marie rushes out.

"Mmm." I cross my arms, keeping my eyes ahead I let out a bitter chuckle. "Why am I not surprised."

"Of course. Because you've earned it." Brink responds strongly. "Can I trust you?" He raises his head up high.

Jordan blinks in awe, smiling brightly. "Yes, sir. I'm honored." They both chuckle and Brink pats their arm.

"Good." He pulls them in for a hug.

"So you knew." Marie continues. "You knew Golden Boy attacked Brink before." She connects the dots.

"I don't know what I knew." Jordan rushes to defend.

Bullshit.

"Looks like you knew a lot." Andre's quick to fire back. I slowly turn around, Andre's eyes full of distraught.

"He said he was juicing Golden Boy!" Jordan shouts. "What would any of you have done?"

"Are you fucking serious?" I shout.

"Something, Jordan!" Andre yells back.

They quickly turn to me, tilting their head. "Il-"

"NO!" I scream, throwing my hands out, I screw my eyes shut. I take a deep breath, leaning my head back. "No." My hands fly to my face, moving to the sides of my temples, I exhale. "How many times do I have to watch Luke get fucked over again and again AND AGAIN!" I scream, losing it. "When ALL he ever did was fucking love you!" I snap my eyes up to Andre. "And care." My eyes drift to Jordan. I let out a manic laugh. "And where did that fucking get him?" I throw my hands up in the air.

Memory Jordan turns to our Jordan, Brink now gone. "We could have stopped everything right here." Jordan turns to face themself. "Saved someone. Like we always wanted. Swallowed our fucking pride and let Iliana know what had happened. But instead we're a fucking T.A. saving our own ass, drowning in self pity." Memory Jordan snaps.

"I loved Brink." Jordan rushes out, shuddering a breath as tears stream down their face. "He was good." They pause. "Or not."

Not.

"But he was good to us." Jordan defends.

"He was nice to us." Memory Jordan snaps to correct. "Nice is all it takes for us to let someone get royally fucked?" Jordan sighs. "You're a coward." Memory Jordan says coldly. "And you always will be. And you had the nerve to call her that." Memory Jordan's words point to me as Jordan let's out a sob.

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𝟶ʙᴜᴛᴛᴇʀʙɪsᴄᴜɪᴛ𝟽 sᴘᴇᴀᴋs!

Oof... hey y'all...

Jordan getting to talk to themselves is one of my fav scenes, omg Derek & London KILLEDDD THAT!! I also remember my jaw droppinggg at this scene lmao.

And DAMN... our girl Iliana is LOSINGGG it!! But she is NOT taking ANY fucking mess, mm-mm. Our girl is DONEEE!! And perioddd!! Bc my GOSHHHH, everybody did Luke so mf dirty, holy shitttt!! DESERVED BETTER. Period!!

Well, anywaysss... today is a special day bc it marks the anniversary that I actually started Gen V... ahhh, omg. I remember watching it with my friends that weekend at college like it was yesterday when we got back from Saw X lmao, time FLIESSS!!!

Well, I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter!! I really love how it turned out!! And I'll see y'all tomorrow for the THIRD update in a row for Golden Facade's 9 month anniversaryyy!!! See y'all thennn, mwah!!