𖤓 𖤓 𖤓

Marie and I approach Cate's room and she knocks on the door.

"Mm-mm, hell no." I brush against her arm as I step up to the door and bang my fist against the metal. "Babes, it's Il." I holler before ripping the door open and letting us in myself.

Cate rises from her couch. "Marie? Illie?" Her eyes widen as she hurries over to us. "Holy fuck, are you two all right?" She zones in our necks.

I let out a bitter chuckle. "What do you think?"

"No, we're not okay." Marie says, breathing heavily as she starts panicking again.

"Il, what's going on?" She looks to me, looking freaked the fuck out now.

"Cate." I tilt my head at her.

"Everything is fucked, Cate." Marie tells her.

"Hey, slow down." Cate says softly and I want to just fall into her arms.

"Cate." I take a deep breath, glancing up at the ceiling for a moment. "Marie came to my room a few minutes ago..." I turn my attention to Marie, letting her have the floor.

How could this happen?! How could this happen and I'm so fucking worried about having se- fuck, Iliana, don't go there!

"They put fucking trackers inside of us, Cate." I rush out, guess I'm not giving Marie the floor. "Fucking trackers!"

"Il- what?" She looks at me in horror.

"I-I found one in my neck and Iliana did too." Marie tells her.

"Sit-sit down. Both of you." She grabs our hands, bringing us to her chairs. "What are you talking about?" She turns to me. "Are you..."

I let out a short sigh. "No. Well... not anymore." Whether she was gonna say high or drunk, doesn't matter. Marie bombarding me with this pretty much sobered me right up.

"Who the fuck is 'they'? Di-did that guy come back?" She asks, freaking out.

"No. I don't know. I don't know." Marie stresses, jumping back to her feet and I never sat down. "But..." She sighs, looking down at her hand before opening it and showing Cate the small pool of blood her tracker's laying in.

"Mhmm." I shove my pinched fingers in front of Cate's face. "Cate, I-I can't do this. I can't." I shut my eyes, shaking my head. "I told Marie we needed to come find you, you'd know what to do cause if I take one more thing my heads gonna fucking explode."

Cate's brows furrow at my fingers as she moves from my hand to Marie's, slowly look up at us again.

"These were in our necks." Marie breathes out.

"Probably in all our necks." My jaw ticks.

"Oh, my God." Cate lets out, beginning to breathe heavily. Well, so much for the cool and collected mom Cate.

"Cate, this is way, way bigger than Rufus." Marie continues.

"It has to be." I tell her. "You know I never fucking trusted Shetty." Or anyone at this goddamn school that's made me want to drink blench and down myself in fire.

I swallow hard, block it out, block it out.

"I think something really fucked happened to us- is happening to us," Marie whispers, "And we think Dean Shetty is a part of it."

Oh, God, oh God. "I mean, can you imagine what they fucking made us forget?" My entire body shudders at the thought as a sharp shooting pain shoots through the back of my head.

Cate's lips tremble. "Do I have one, too?" She rushes to pull her hair back to one side.

Marie looks at me and I nod. She shuts her eyes, bringing her hand up to Cate's neck as my teeth sink into my lip as I watch and Cate latches on to my arm.

As I concentrate on Marie, my eyes turning blurry from staring so hard, Cate's hand slips from me and I hear rustling. I blink, stepping back as she takes off her glove and Marie opens her eyes.

Wha-

"Cate..." I rear my head back, looking at her oddly. "Wh-what're you doing?"

"I'm so, so sorry." She says softly, she looks over at me, tears brimming her eyes. "I really wish it didn't have to be like this, Il, especially not with you."

My ears start to ring as my entire body runs cold. I look at my best friend in utter, utter disbelief. I feel... I feel.

"It's you." Marie's voice brings me too.

I blink rapidly, staring at her bare hands in what I can only imagine horror written all over my face.

"No." I shake my head. "No, no, no." I falter going to take another step back as she reaches out for me, cold fingers wrapping around my wrist to stop me from falling over her stool.

I hear gasps of air before realizing it's coming from me.

Marie came to me, she trusted me... Oh, God. I feel ill, I can't--

Blood slowly begins to drip from her eye. "I'm so sorry, Illie." She swallows.

Wake up, Iliana. Please, wake up. WAKE U--

𖤓 𖤓 𖤓

𝟹ʀᴅ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ᴘᴏᴠ

"I don't know. I mean..." Jordan, now in their feminine form, sighs as they reach for their bottle of water.

They're sitting in the hallway on the cold concrete floor talking to Maverick... venting.

"She looked fucking disgusted when she woke woke up next to me... like-" They look down at themselves, letting out a bitter chuckle. "Like this." They lean their head back against the wall. "I don't know why I'm so fucking surprised." They spit out, knowing everything Iliana has said to them.

"Jenny Boccabella was my first girlfriend in the sixth grade." Jordan starts again after a minute. "And she always wanted me to just be a guy. So I changed for her." They admit.

"And Golden Girl?" Maverick asks nicely.

Another bitter chuckle escapes their lips. "Iliana," Jordan says, refusing to call her that name, "Well... she use to ask me to change. Said she didn't mind." Jordan stares at the wall. "She was the first person to make me comfortable switching."

"So, what's the problem then?" Maverick wonders, truly not knowing.

Jordan swallows harshly, jaw tightening at the memory that's been on repeat and tortured them for the past year. It's almost all they've been able to think about to the point it made them almost ill and completely driven insane.

To watch her, their Iliana, on red carpets, in interviews, magazines, trailers... God, she was everywhere. And no matter how hard Jordan tried to forget or ignore it all Iliana would never leave their mind. Her hands, her lips, legs, hair, smile-- Everything about Iliana Riordan took over Jordan Li's mind and drove them mad.

"She, uh, she said she couldn't be with me." Jordan whispers. "Because- because I'm both. And she told me she couldn't be with that, love that, me."

"What made her change?" Maverick questions.

Jordan shrugs. "She left to film her movie." They answer.

"Do you think she told you that on purpose, maybe?" Maverick suggests. "To leave? You know, make it easier. to go"

Jordan furrows their brows, opening their mouth to argue, then closing it. What?

"Did you ask her if she was disgusted this morning? Maybe she wasn't." Maverick offers. "I mean she slept with you, didn't she? If she meant what she said when she left, do you think she would have woke up next to you like this?"

Jordan lets out a chuckle. I mean, I-" They pause. "No. No I just assumed her fucking me over and throwing away everything was still final." They say.

"And you haven't... talked to her about it since she's been back?"

"No. I assumed that that's how she still feels, clearly. That that's the only way she'll ever want me again."

"That's on you." Maverick tells them.

"She fucking told me herself." Jordan huffs, not wanting her to be defended.

"But she only felt that way when she had to go?"

"Yes! She said she couldn't be seen with me. In public or in the media." Jordan's irritation rises.

"Maybe someone told her to say that." Maverick states, thinking beyond a one track mind. "Seems like she didn't give a shit about you before that, right?"

Jordan thinks about all the times they did things... both ways. She would say to change, or take both ways, even all at once.

And then that night she was an entirely different person-- the night before she tried to sneak away to leave...

"This seems to be your hang up, not hers. Seems like you need to talk to her about it." Maverick tells them.

"Fuck." Jordan lets out, brows knitting together. Maverick can't be right... can he? "You think?" They turn to Maverick.

"Yeah. She seems to be cool with hiding the sausage and bumping donuts. Maybe she's just not as open about it as you are." Maverick insights. Jordan looks down at their lap, embarrassed. "Like, sometimes, I hide in the women's showers and watch girls jerk off and sometimes I hide in the men's. Gender's just a construct. And personal comfortability varies." Maverick admits earning an odd look and eyebrow raise from Jordan as they snap their head back up to loo him.

"What the fuck, dude?"

"Hey, man, no kink shaming." Maverick waves it off just as Simone's walks past at the end of the hall, her hooves clicking. "Aw, fuck, I got to go. She's super pissed at me." Maverick sighs. "Sloane, wait!" He calls out to the alpaca. "Come on, don't be like that!" He leaves.

Jordan watches his hat and glasses disappear when they hear a door and look to their left to find Iliana stepping out into the hallway.

Jordan sighs, pushing themself off the floor to stand.

Here goes nothing...

For the past year Jordan may have been living a lie. But they're not sure they're ready to admit or come to terms with that.

That all the hate and hurt that Jordan has felt could've all been for nothing, or avoided all together.

But there's only one way to find out...

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𝟶ʙᴜᴛᴛᴇʀʙɪsᴄᴜɪᴛ𝟽 sᴘᴇᴀᴋs!

Well... 😃😭 We finally made it y'all... it hurts so much fucking worse that Cate was the first person Iliana wanted to run to with the problem. ARHSGSHSHS— that's how I feel lmao.

And let me just state RN!! ILIANA WOULD HAVE NEVER EVER DONE THIS TO CATE !! Period, point, blankkkkk !!

But our blonde baddie duo will never be the same </3

Also, I was very excited to write the conversation between Maverick & Jordan bc obviously it went different for Ilordan & I really love this scene in the show so much, & I was so happy to let Maverick SPEAK THE TRUTHHHH PERIOD KING (sorry about your dad, you're actually really cool).

Anyways, y'all BETTER comment y'all's thoughts, questions, & reactions bc I NEED y'all to be in this hurt with me & NEED y'all's reactions for this scene lmao. See you in the next part, mwauh!!