I felt like someone just poured a bucket of ice over me. I froze at my spot. I didn't expect to see him this soon. While I was gaping at him, Danish on the other side was smiling at me. 

Did he forget what happened? 

I smiled at him before saying a small hi. 

"We are having a small get together and we thought we did give you a surprise and that's why we didn't inform you about the boys coming," Lily said, grinning. 

What a wonderful surprise!

I nodded my head and returned a faint smile.

"I'm gonna change my clothes," I said as I headed towards the stairs. 

"Ok, come back fast. The pizza will be here anytime," Lily said. 

I locked my door and tossed the bag on the floor before pacing back and forth across my room, my fingers going through my locks in anxiety.

What is he doing here? Did he tell Andrew about this? It's obvious that Zinnia and Lily don't have a clue about it. How am I gonna face him? 

I groaned and laid on my bed. 

I can skip the dinner but they are ordering pizza!

I rolled over and hid my face in the pillow.

He's all casual around me as if nothing happened. Then I can also pretend like that, right? Come on, Elka! You can do it!

I got up to freshen up and slipped into my panda pyjamas and went downstairs. 

"Awww...can you be any more cute?" Andrew asked as he saw me in those pyjamas. 

I laughed at his remark and walked towards the dining room where Danish, Zinnia and Lily were settled. 

"Hey, how was your visit to your parents?" Danish asked as I took a chair next to him.

"Umm..it was good," I replied. 

"Elka is looking cute right?" Andrew asked, standing next to Lily who was sitting. 

"Oh Andrew, stop with that. You already said that," I said. 

"Yeah but still..." he trailed off.

Just then, we heard a bell as the pizza was here. We talked and laughed while having our pizza and I felt good after three days. I also felt Danish stealing glances at me to which I turned a blind eye. It wasn't something new anyways. 

After dinner we all gathered at the backyard. Zinnia was on her phone with a smile plastered on her face and that itself showed to whom she was texting. Andrew and Lily were sitting on the picnic table and talking. I was sitting on the ground with my hands leaned back and admiring the black velvet that had glitters sprinkled over. The cool breeze that blew on my face, making my curls fly gently by touching my shoulders, the small drops of water on the green grass made my eyes close and lean into the tranquility the nature was giving me.

I opened my eyes and turned my head to the side and saw Danish looking at me. But he averted his gaze the moment our eyes met. It was usually me who did this but I guess the tables had turned. A small smile grew on my lips as I saw Danish looking here and there, scratching his head and turning around slowly as he knew that he had been caught. 

"Danish," I called out to which he swiftly turned around and looked at me. 

I patted the spot near me to which he smiled and hopped on his feet and sat next to me. I smiled at his actions before looking up at the stars again. 

"It's beautiful, right?" I asked, killing the silence. 

"Yeah, it is," he answered, looking at the night sky. 

"Hey," I called him after sometime, catching his attention and sat straight. "I'm sorry about that day," I said, looking down and fiddling with my fingers. 

He was silent for a few seconds before saying, "You don't have to apologize for anything, Elka. It was me. I was the one who tried to..." he dimmed. 

"Yeah, but I'm sorry for the way I reacted," I said, trying to not make him feel bad.

"No no no. It's normal for you to react that way. It's my fault. I'm the one who should be sorry," he said, shaking his head. 

"Ok, then. It's your fault," I said, giving up.

He nodded his head.

"Apology accepted!" I added.

He smiled at me. 

"I don't know what got into me. I saw you resting on my shoulder and I kissed you thinking you were sleeping. But when you opened your eyes, I swear, I thought it was the end of me," he said chuckling, making me laugh. "I'm not joking, Elka. I was so scared."

I threw my head back and laughed more.

"But then, when our eyes met..." he trailed off, making my laugh shrank. "I just wanted to kiss the hell out of you."

I looked at him in silence.

"But you backed off and I knew that you were uncomfortable and yeah," he concluded. 

I nodded my head before saying, "Yeah, I was uncomfortable. I have never kissed and when you were lean-"

"Wait. You have never kissed?" he asked. 

"Nope," I said, shaking my head. 

"I know you're a virgin but never kissed? Didn't you have any boyfriends before? Didn't you date anyone?" he asked again to which I shook my head. 

"You're lying," he snapped.

"No, I'm not," I said. 

"Did you have any crushes?"

"Dude, I'm not aromantic."

"Oh, so you did have."

"Yeah. But I didn't approach any of them."

"Why?"

"Just didn't feel so. I had crushes till middle school but after that, I have never felt those butterflies in my tummy again. I was not like this when I was in middle school. I actually changed a lot."

"What type of person were you back then?"

"Well, I was more like an introvert and shy. I had only two friends and it was with them I used to hang out at Whoopee."

"Oh, then how did this sudden transition happen? Guess puberty hit you like a truck."

I chuckled. 

"Yeah, maybe. I just changed, you know. My friends abandoned me and then I was left all alone. So I picked myself up piece by piece and grew to be a strong head."

"Why did they leave you?"

I took a deep breath before saying, "Let's just say it's a secret."

"Oh, come on!" he whined. "I wanna get to know more about you."

"We still have time, Dan," I said. 

"Yeah I kn- wait! What did you call me?"

"Dan," I said, poker faced. "What?"

He shook his head while smiling. 

"Nothing."

"You're so sappy!" I exclaimed. 

"Yeah, I can be one sometimes," he said, pursing his lips. 

This was something else I liked about Danish. Most of the guys tend to show that they are tough, cool and manly and condemn with the names that don't suit guys according to the 'society standards'. But Danish was all fine with admitting that he wasn't a macho man. 

"So, tell me something about you," I coerced. 

"Umm...well, there's nothing much about me. Only the things you already know." 

"Did you change college just because it was boring?" 

"Yeah, what else do you think?"

"Well, you say the same about St. Peter's too. So I thought there would be something else," I said. 

"Yeah. Indeed, there is another reason. It's-it's because my brother is here."

"So?" I asked with squinted eyes. 

"I wanted to be with my brother because he's all alone over here and my parents were a bit worried for him. So I came here."

I nodded my head. 

"I want to meet your brother."

"Yeah, you will," he said, smiling. "Does Zinnia have a girlfriend?" he asked me, pointing at Zinnia who had her lips pouting and texting. 

I let out a small chuckle and said, "Nah. But she'll have one soon, I guess."

"It's Amy, right?" he asked, making me stunned.

"How the hell did you know? Did Andrew tell you? No, for that Andrew doesn't know. Then how did you know?" I pestered him.

"Chill. I've always noticed how Zinnia becomes jumpy all of a sudden when Amy's near her," he said, smirking. 

"Oh, so it's that obvious?"

"Not really. It's just that my eyes get these things quicker than everyone else."

I nodded my head. 

A few minutes of silence passed. 

"Hey," he called me. 

I looked at him and hummed to see him being edgy. 

I frowned as I asked him, "What?"

"Do you want to go out with me tomorrow?" he asked.

"Hang out?"

He shook his head before saying, "Date."

My breath hitched the second that word came from his mouth. 

Why is everything happening so fast? I'm trying to draw a borderline between us and now, he is asking me out. Why do my thoughts get betrayed every single time?

"I-I..." I was finding difficulty in searching for words. And even if I could get words, I didn't know what to tell him. 

He was looking at me with hopes in his eyes. Those dark brown eyes telling me to say yes or at least nod my head. 

I looked down, breaking off the eye contact. 

"Elka?"

"I don't know," I mumbled, looking down.

"What?"

I raised my head to look at him.

"I don't know, Dan. I don't feel like dating someone or being in a relationship. I just don't feel like it."

"Don't think about a relationship now, Elka. We can date. You don't even have to look at it as a date rather just a hang out. Like we used to do."

I looked at him with slightly knitted brows. 

He took a deep breath before saying, "Elka, it's just that I like being with you. I love spending time with you. I love hanging out with you, joking around with you, annoying you and calling names that peeves you. I have a lot on my mind that's eating me up alive and trust me, Elka, you're my escape from all that. Don't think I'm just using you to keep my mind off my problems. I'm not forcing you to date me but I really hope that we can. Because next time when I have your presence near me and look into your eyes for long, I can't promise that I will not kiss you. I like you, Elka."

He was doing exactly what I feared about. This guy, right in front of me, was telling how much I meant to him when I on the other hand couldn't vow anything to anyone. This guy was pouring out his heart when all I could do was push people away. 

My eyes began to get clouded, which made me blink and look away. 

"I'm sorry." 

That was all I could say before standing up and walking hurriedly to my home and then to my room. 

I heard Danish calling me followed by Zinnia and Lily but nothing stopped me from slamming my door shut and crying my eyes out, yet again. 

And that was when I actually realized. 

If I ran away from him just because he liked me, then that was it. 

I like him. I like Danish. More than just a friend. 

»»---------------------►

I didn't sleep. I didn't even try because I was sure that lying on my bed like a pale dead body was all I could do rather than drifting somewhere to flee from reality. 

I looked at myself in the mirror before washing my face. My reflection was screaming the word mess at me. My eyes were bloodshot and began to have dark circles and my hair was tousled. But I didn't care. I didn't care about anything anymore. 

I chuckled at myself remembering the day I gave a long ass speech about the fountain wish to Danish. I should've been a doubter like him instead of believing in some stupid shit like that. 

I rubbed my face that was icky due to the tears and sweat. I washed my face and went downstairs. I walked right into Zinnia and Lily who were waiting for me with a cup of coffee on the dining table. They smiled and greeted me with a good morning once they saw me. I took the mug in my hands after greeting them back and sat next to Lily. 

It was unusually silent and that was making me uncomfortable. I didn't let silence take over whenever I was with these girls but today, I let it as I was mentally and physically all in. But both Lily and Zinnia definitely had different thoughts. 

"Elka, what happened between you and Danish yesterday?" Zinnia asked.

I wasn't surprised when she threw that question as I already saw it coming. 

I took a sip of coffee before shaking my head and saying, "Nothing."

Zinnia sighed and asked, "Nothing what?"

"Nothing you should know."

Zinnia and Lily looked at each other hearing my response. 

"You can't say that, Elka," Lily said. "Something really bad happened between you two. I saw tears in your eyes when you walked away and Danish...his eyes were red and teary as well."

I snapped my head towards Lily hearing that. 

Did I hurt him that fucking much? 

"And when we asked him what happened, he didn't say anything but just grabbed the car keys from Andrew and drove off. Andrew had to take the bus."

I sighed. 

"Ok, now tell us what happened?" Zinnia asked.

I bit my lower lip before saying, "He asked me out." 

"What?!" Lily screamed, joyfully.

"Wow! Took his long ass enough," Zinnia said.

"And what did you say?" Lily asked.

I looked at her with a sorrowful face. Lily's face changed after seeing mine.

"Don't you dare tell me that you fucking turned him down," Zinnia snapped.

"I did."

"What? Why?" Lily cried.

"Don't give us that usual I don't feel like and I'm happy being a fucking single ass. Don't you. What the fuck is wrong with you, Elka? Why can't you just date him? Girls in our college are dying to talk to him while that guy has his ass sticking onto you. Why can't you date Danish?" Zinnia yelled at me. 

Zinnia was usually the type of person who didn't get annoyed at me for this matter, like Lily. But today, she was different. Maybe because we were talking about Danish? 

"Let me tell you both something. If I want to date him, I'll. I don't have to look up to anyone for that. It's because I don't feel like it. When I start getting bored of being a single ass and thinking about dating, I'll date him," I said. 

"You say this everytime, Elka," Lily said. 

"This time, it's different."

"How so?"

I shut my eyes and took a deep breath before revealing.

"I like Danish."

There was a moment of silence before I heard those two girls screaming and jumping and squealing. 

After they did their happy dance, Lily asked me, "Then why did you turn him down?" 

"As I said, I don't feel like dating. And when I do, I'll only date Danish," I said, reassuring her with a smile. 

"Oh my God, I have never been this fucking happy. It feels like I just heard the news that I'm gonna be a Godmother. I'm so happy," Zinnia said, wiping away her invisible tears. 

Lily and I chuckled at her silly dramatic actions. Inside, I was shouting at myself as I lied to these two girls, who wanted nothing but me to be happy. 

Why is it so hard for me to tell them about my phobia?

Just then, I heard my phone ring from my room upstairs. I excused myself and rushed to my room, half of me hoping it was Danish, half of me hoping it wasn't Danish. My mind was so fucked up. 

Half of me that hoped it wasn't Danish danced with pompoms. It was Ash who was calling me.

Why the hell is he calling me? 

"Hello?" I said as I took the call. 

"Hey, Elka. It's Ash."

"I know. I have your number saved."

"Oh, you've my number? That's something I didn't expect."

I heard a giggle to which I rolled my eyes and asked, "What is it, Ash?"

"Umm, ok. Do you know where Amy is?" he asked, making my face twisted with confusion. 

"What? No, what happened?"

"I tried calling her a few times but she didn't pick up my call. She said she wasn't well when I texted her and that's it. Do you know if she's fine?"

"Uh...I'll call and check on her and I'll let you know, ok?"

"Yeah, cool."

"Ash, baby. Did you see my pink lace thong?" 

I heard a female voice over from the other side of the call.

"Pink lace thong? Who is that?" I asked.

"Huh? No one. Gotta go, Elka. Bye," Ash said and abruptly cut the call.

Is that Ash motherfucking Theodore again with that ex of his? 

I shook my head and called Amy just to get my calls going directly to her voicemail.

What happened to her? 

I changed my panda pyjama shirt and wore a hoodie along with the same pyjama pants before taking my car keys from the nightstand and running downstairs. 

Seeing me, Lily and Zinnia asked where I was going to which I told them about Ash's call. 

"Yeah, Amy said that she's not well when I asked her to hang out with me," Zinnia said.

"Wait! Weren't you chatting with her yesterday night?" I asked as I remembered Zinnia smiling and playing on her phone. 

"No, I was talking to Sandra," she said. 

I nodded my head. 

"Wait, I'll also come," Zinnia said as I opened the door. 

"Call me if there's anything," Lily said, standing at the doorstep as I started the engine. 

We waved at her and drove off to Amy's house. I parked my car on the side of the road as there was a bike parked in front of her house. I switched off the engine while Zinnia unbuckled her seat belt and as we were about to get out, we saw the door of Amy's house opening. A guy with his back facing us came into our vision, followed by Amy smiling and looking at him. It definitely wasn't Ash. 

Zinnia closed the door and sat back, observing the guy. Thank God I have my car windows tinted black. 

"Who the fuck is that?" Zinnia asked, leaning forward to figure out who that guy was while I also did the same. 

"How the hell am I supposed to know?"

"You're her best buddy, right?" Zinnia asked me, snapping her head towards me.

"You're the one who's trying to make her your girlfriend, right?" I asked back. 

My eyes widened when they fell on Amy and the guy, making Zinnia follow my eyeline and looking at them instantly. Amy and that guy were kissing. My jaw literally dropped while Zinnia had her clenched. 

We were thunderstruck as we saw the guy's face once he turned. 

It was Clay.

Why'd you spend your time leading the chorus
When the war was just waiting before us?
As if you didn't know
You ignored all the darkest of warnings
Found our end in the silence of morning
It fell beneath the cold