Two hours passed in a flash with me and Danish talking, laughing, making fun of each other and sharing some things about ourselves but nothing personal. 

Zinnia and Lily were bombarding my phone with calls and texts to which I switched off my phone. I knew they were going to be mad at me for turning a deaf ear to their calls and also for making them wait. Other than that, I really enjoyed the time spent with Danish. It was worth bunking classes and getting scolded by my professor afterwards.

As we entered our college on Danish's bike, the bell rang indicating it was time to go home. But as I had to return the helmet to that anonymous owner, we rode to where the motorcycles were parked. 

As I got down from his bike, I noticed Clay was wandering around, searching for something. Clay's eyes met mine and flashed me a smile. But soon, I found his face confounded as he saw the helmet on my head. He walked towards me, pointing his finger above my head.

"Is this yours?" he asked, still looking at the white and red helmet I was wearing. 

I slowly shook my head and took the helmet off. Danish was sitting on his bike, staring at me and Clay.

"Where did you get this from?" Clay asked.

"We had to go somewhere urgently," I lied. "He had only one helmet so I took this from that bike's handle," I said, pointing towards the bike which was parked next to Danish's. 
S

eeing a gaping Clay, I leaned a bit forward and whispered to him, "Is the owner looking for this?" 

Clay also leaned a bit forward before replying, "I am the owner."

Crap!

Danish let out a chuckle seeing my expression. I looked at him and gave a death stare as all this was because of him. Clay cleared his throat, gaining my attention. I noticed his cheeks had a faint shade of pink.

Is he blushing? Oh yes! His crush is standing right in front of him, with his helmet in her hands!

He looked at me with an eyebrow raised to which I handed over the helmet in a second. 

God, this so fucking unhandy!

"So, what was the urgency?" Clay asked, ending the awkward silence between us.

"We-"

"We went on a date," Danish cut me off.

This guy.

Clay snapped his head towards Danish and then at me. I could see the sadness in his eyes which he tried to obscure by giving me a fake smile and saying, "Oh, th-that's nice."

I smiled and shook my head. "He's joking. We just went to the cafe nearby."

"Yeah, for our date," Danish said.

"Danish!" I cried out.

"I was just joking," he said, raising both his hands up in surrender and taking his helmet off. 

Clay stared at Danish for a few seconds before asking, "You're the new guy, right? The transfer student?"

"Danish. My name's Danish," he said, swinging off his bike and standing next to me.

What k-drama is this?

Clay slightly nodded his head and looked at me. 

"See you tomorrow, Elka. Bye." He smiled and wore his helmet before getting on his bike and riding away.

I turned my head towards Danish and glared at him to which he just winked and took my hands in his and walked to where my car was parked. 

Everyone was staring at us and passing whispers to which I just rolled my eyes. It wasn't something new anyways. 

I had been on the target list of gossip girls ever since I turned down the biggest trouble and playboy of our college, Grayson. A normal girl turning down Grayson was the talk of college for some days. But then and now, I didn't give a fuck!

Zinnia's jaw was literally dropped to the ground as she saw me walking towards them with Danish by my side and that too, holding hands. She patted Lily on her shoulder who was facing her back towards us and talking to one of her classmates. Lily's laughter shrank as she turned around and witnessed the same as Zinnia. They both were gaping at us with wide eyes that their eyeballs would fall and roll on the ground any time. 

"Heyo," Danish said as we approached them. 

I let go of his hand and smiled sheepishly at those two girls who were passing me a grave expression with their arms crossed across their chest. I took a deep breath and nodded my head with eyes closed indicating that I would explain everything to them when we reach home. They took it before bellowing in unison, "You better!"

Danish snapped his head towards me hearing them.

"I guess I owe an explanation to them. Thanks to you," I said, looking at him.

We bid goodbyes to Danish and headed to our home. The car ride was filled with howling and cooing and teasing to which I used my silent treatment. As soon as we entered our home, Lily and Zinnia blocked my way to the steps.

"I'm not gonna run away," I said. 

"Then why are you hurrying to your room? Did Danish say he will call you?" teased Lily. 

"Or maybe Facetime?" Joined Zinnia. 

"It's not Danish's but nature's. I want to answer the nature's call. So make a way you pricks," I said, tucking both of my hands between them and shoving them aside. 

After taking a bath and slipping into some comfy clothes, I climbed down the stairs to see Zinnia taking a nap on the couch and Lily cooking Carbonara for me.

I swear, if I didn't have a friend like her, then I would have starved to death.

I went to the kitchen and stood beside Lily who flashed me a smile before saying, "A few more minutes and then it is ready."

I nodded my head enthusiastically to which Lily pinched my chubby cheek. 

"Hey, don't do that. You know how much I hate it when someone pinches my cheek," I said, yanking her hand away playfully and rubbing my cheek. 

"I know but how can someone not do that when you look like a doll," Lily said, laughing wholeheartedly. 

"I'm not a doll." I scowled playfully. 

"Curly hair, chubby cheeks, soulful eyes, button nose, small lips and butt chin. Perfect features for designing a doll face. You should be thankful," Lily said solemnly.

I chuckled, shaking my head. 

"No wonder Danish can't resist you," she added.

My smile instantly dropped to her wicked comment. I blew a raspberry as I didn't know how to hit her back and went to the living room. I plopped down the couch deliberately, disturbing Zinnia who was taking a peaceful nap. 

Not after all the teasing on our way back home.

"Oh, Elka. Won't you let me be at peace, you aashat?" she groaned. 

"You're the one to talk about peace when all you do is tease. Now get up and move aside before I kick you," I threw back and switched on the T.V. She sat up and stretched while yawning. 

"You're a bitch," she said, looking at me with heavy eyes.

"I know." I smiled without taking my screen off the wide screen.

"There you go," Lily said as she kept a bowl of carbonara on the teapoy in front of me. 

I thanked her before crossing my legs on the couch and taking the bowl. 

"Ok, Elka. Now spill," Lily said as she took her seat next to me. 

"Yeah. Spill, bitch," Zinnia said.

"Can I at least finish eating this?"

"NO!" They said together to which I laughed. 

I know their curiosity was at peak and I just wanted to kindle it more. 

"Ok."

I told them everything about me and Danish at the physics lab, then at the parking lot, our ride on his bike and then at the cafe. I also didn't miss out Clay's part as they also knew about him crushing on me. 

After hearing, Lily cracked into a wide smile from ear to ear out of sheer happiness while Zinnia was gasconading on how her prediction came to pass. 

"It was just a hang out," I yelled.

"Yeah but it looks like Danish didn't see that as a hang out though," Lily said.

"Since my prediction came true to life, lemme predict something else," Zinnia said, making me and Lily turn our heads towards her. "He's gonna take your v-card."

"Zin!" I cried out.

"You and Danish are gonna fuck. Yeehaw!" Zinnia and Lily laughed together while I kept myself busy with eating carbonara. It was better that way. 

»»---------------------►

It was night and we were in our rooms doing our assigned work. I did my work and it was only going to be nine so I decided to go to Zinnia's room. I wanted to talk about Amy anyways. 

I knocked on her door and heard a 'Come in'. 

"Hey, bish," she said as soon as she saw me. 
She was sitting on her bed playing on her phone, her upper body leaned on the headboard.

"A-hole, whatcha upto?" I laid down, placing my head on her lap.

"Nothing. Finished your work?" she asked as she tossed her phone on bed and ran her fingers through my curly locks.

I closed my eyes and nodded my head. I loved it when Zinnia did this. It was so calming and reminded me of my mom who did this a few times after tucking me under the sheets and kissing good night when I was small. 

Zinnia knew how relaxing it was when she ran her fingers through my hair. And then she said that her fingers were only good for something else. Bullshit!

After a bit, I asked her about the group project she was working on. She said their group was assigned with the topic Philophobia and that they were free to make a presentation or documentary or anything.

My heart tremored hearing the word that was my worst nightmare. 

Is this a coincidence? Or an inkling that it was time to tell Lily and Zinnia about my phobia? 

"S-so what are you guys doing?" I asked, keeping those thoughts at the back of my mind.

"We decided to do a presentation along with a documentary as we have a historical example of philophobic."

"Who?"

"Queen Elizabeth 1 of England."

"She was philophobic?"

"Yeah, it's said to be she was. History says that she witnessed her mother, Anne Boleyn, being decapitated on her father, King Henry VIII's order, accusing her of adultery and treason. Elizabeth was declared as illegitimate and was removed from the royal succession as well. She loved her mother so much and that was why she educated herself and became a protestant like Anne. Growing up in a family who didn't love her and witnessing her mother being beheaded because of love. And with that she didn't have a permanent partner for her entire life. She died single and childless. Hers was a lonely death. So linking everything, it is said that Queen Elizabeth 1 was philophobic."

"Oh, that's some deep shit", I said.

"Yeah, I know. So we are gonna do this presentation about the Queen and then make a documentary on philophobic people."

"But isn't that gonna be hard like, do you know anyone who has philophobia?" I asked.

"Yeah, it is hard but we have to do it. I'm sure me and my group members are gonna ace this project if we can make it happen. Finding people with philophobia is going to be a headache as most of them just tend to hide in their shells without coming out and seeking help. Our intentions are not only to get high scores but also to help them. You know, these kinds of phobias can completely end one's life. Without the hope of love, pushing away everyone and being alone forever. It can take away a life." Zinnia concluded.

I was lying on her lap and looking at her sternly. Her words pierced through my heart like daggers. 

"Elka, are you ok?" Zinnia asked, sitting straight. 

That was when I realized that I was breathing heavily with tears clouding my eyes. I closed my eyes and tried to stop the tears from rolling down and also normalize my breath. I sat up with the support of my elbow before yeeting away a teardrop that rolled down despite my attempt. I looked at Zinnia who was looking at me with both concern and fear in her eyes. 

"Are you ok, bub?" she asked again.

I nodded my head and flashed her a smile.

"I guess I got too emotional hearing Queen Elizabeth's story." I let out a light giggle.

"You getting emotional? Not in a million years." She scoffed.

"Yeah, ok. I'm gonna go. I'm sleepy," I said, standing up from her bed.

"You can sleep here if you want to. You don't look well." Zinnia offered. 

"Nah, it's fine. Besides, you know that I want a whole fucking bed to sleep, right?"

"Yeah, how can I ever forget the day you kicked my ass out of your bed in your slumber," she said as her hand went towards her butt, the area where I kicked her. "Fucking bub," she said to which I chuckled and bent down to hug her.

"Good night," I said as I pulled back.

"Yeah, night. And call me if you need anything, ok?"

I smiled and nodded my head and stepped out of her room.

My smile dropped the moment I stepped out and closed her door behind me. Zinnia's words filled my mind up, making my breath shallow and knees buckle. 

Is that how my life's gonna be? All alone and depressed? All by myself?

Can you tell me a secret?
Can you tell me what's wrong with me?
I know I should be angry
But I can barely fel a fuckin' thing