Trigger Warning// knife (not used), somebody gets knocked out but dont worry its not any of our 3 mcs :D panic attack but uh it doesnt last too long :) if you want a summary of the chap, comment up here and i'll try to give you one. stay safe ! <3 

also angst ehe

   Fear. That's all you feel, trembling in front of the figure of- of somebody meant to protect you. Somebody meant to love you. 

You can't move. You can't breathe. No, no, you are, but it feels wrong. You're not meant to be breathing, right? She can hear you. She's right there. Stop breathing. She'll know you're still alive, she'll go after your brother next, why is she here?!

--The impact of warm arms around your torso snaps you out of your thoughts, but it's the wrong arms. This isn't Shinichiro who, albeit having stuck his nose into your business rather creepily, had good intentions and saved you. This was-

Your mother?

Was that even what she was? Maybe she wasn't a mother.

Maybe she was just. L/n to you. You held her maiden name, and you didn't like it. That was your name. That's what your classmates called out to you when needing to wake you (from the many times you collapsed from exhaustion in class), that's the name your PE teacher yelled when you weren't running fast enough; that's your name. 

You don't know what to call her. She's not your mother, she doesn't deserve to share a name with you, and you didn't even know her first name. She just- she was-

She was hugging you. You stiffened in her arms, unable to move just like before. You didn't know what to do. How pathetic, you who thought of yourself as so strong, was trembling in somebody else's hold.

In your mind, you'd have spoken up, you'd have yelled at her, screamed and shouted, thrown things, tossed her to the floor-

And yet silent you stood, a million things you could do to get her off you, unable to do any of them.

"Y/n! I was so worried, your mom's so sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, really. I'm so glad you came back for me, of course you would, you're my baby, I'm so sorry," the woman sobbed into your shirt, and instead of pity, all you could think was she's getting my shirt dirty, and how you were going to throw this shirt away later. Your skin burns from where her arms touch, and you want her to let go. 

You still don't move. Thankfully, you don't have to. Not because that woman gets off you, no, but because gentle hands pull you from her grasp. Warm and comforting is what Shinichiro has become to you unintentionally. He's associated with warmth, with safety due to all he's done for you. He won't hurt you. You won't be hurt while he's here. You won't be hurt and neither will Tetta. You're- you're fine. 

So why are you still trembling? Even in his arms, knowing you are safe, you are still trembling. you hide your face in his chest, and he just holds you a bit tighter.

"Miss-" Shinichiro says, like she doesn't even deserve the politeness, "I'm afraid she didn't come here for you."

He stands tall and confident, like he could fight against the world despite you knowing very well he couldn't. But the fact that he's willing to is enough for you.

"What?" she says, tone turning dangerous and you want to run. But you need your things, your clothes and Tetta's shark doll, your stash of money. You can't run. Not now.

"Mom-" the word tastes bitter on your tongue as you leave Shinichiro's embrace to speak,"I just came to get my things. I don't think it's- good for us to live together."

Her face falls. You can't tell if it's into anger or sadness. It's when her hand comes from behind her back, something you hadn't even realized, that you're terrified.

Nothing changed. You're in the same living room, and she's in front of you, and she is going to kill you. Her hands hold a kitchen knife, and you don't know what to do. 

"Honey, why would you want to leave me?" she asks, like she didn't try to fucking kill you.

"You're insane," you whisper. Shinichiro's hand holds yours, and you almost hate how vulnerable you are here. Everywhere else you can face it with apathy, but bring up your family and you will crumble. 

"I think we should leave," Shinichiro suggests, taking your hand and backing away towards the door. The woman doesn't like that idea.

"How dare you," she says, seething, "Are you going to be like your father? Leave me? I thought I raised you better than that, you good-for-nothing-!"

"You didn't raise me at all. You're- you're not my mom," you say, deciding you and Shinichiro need to leave now. 

You turn around into a sprint, the door left open from when you came in (praying she wouldn't be home, but fate is so, so cruel to you) and run. She catches up, though, and Shinichiro behind you is tackled to the floor. Just barely he holds the knife away from his throat, and you scream. 

"Run!" he says, not moving his eyes from the knife or the woman trying to quite literally murder him. 

The door's open. It'd be better if you go get reinforcements instead.

But-

What if he dies-? What, then?

Who saves you, if your hero dies?

It's with that in mind that you tackle your mother off Shinichiro. You're not particularly strong, but you go into dead-weight, making her fall even worse.

She doesn't wake, but her chest still breathes. She's just passed out, possibly with a concussion. You can't find it in you to care. In contrast to her calm, sleeplike breaths, you breathe heavily.

"You can't do that," you say, your nails digging into your fists, "You can't tell me to run like that."

"Are you okay?" Shinichiro asks.

"I can't believe I did that," you say, ignoring his question, adrenaline running through your veins.

"Are you alright?" he asks again, gently taking your hands from where they were curled into fists and holding them in his.

"We need to get my stuff while she's out," you decide, going to turn to your room and taking your hands out of his.

He calls out your name, "Y/n. Please, are you alright?"

"I'm, I'm fine," you say, like your voice isn't trembling. As though your palms don't have indents from your nails, as if your legs aren't shaking. 

"Please just cry. Please stop holding it all in," Shinichiro pleads.

"I'm not holding anything in," you say tonelessly.

"It's okay," he says, softly. As gently as his voice is soft, he embraces you. He goes down with you as your legs finally give out from fear, adrenaline no longer holding them up.

And for the first time in this world, you sob. From fear, from mourning, from anger, from relief- from everything. You cry because you were scared to die. You cry because you miss your old life. You cry because you're mad you let yourself get so scared. You cry because Shinichiro is okay. 

Shinichiro holds you through it all, uncharacteristically quiet. But you feel his tears falling to your shirt, and unlike how it felt with that woman, you're comforted by the fact that he cries, too. That maybe even if he doesn't understand everything, he can still cry with you.

"It's okay," he repeats, the two of you separating from your hug, and he presses your foreheads together. You let out another sob of relief.

"It's okay," you repeat back to him.

guys im ngl i didnt expect to put any shinichiro moments here, well, i did, but not this many so. be thankful for my brain <3