I stare at the ceiling, sitting back in the desk chair in my room. I've been pondering the meaning of life for the past couple of hours, not being able to get a single wink of sleep. I blow out a deep sigh when I hear a light snore behind me. She was partially the reason I hadn't been able to but my mind was the main reason.

Every single time I close my eyes I see Amelia behind their lids. Her endless crying and blank expression when I'd been there had nearly broken me in two. What had done me in though was when she would look at me. That was the final nail in our coffin.

I don't know what she saw when she glanced at me but it was enough to hurt her bad. It hurt her so much so that she'd asked me to leave. Only after a few days had she pleaded with me to go until I'd finally agreed to it. The only reason I had was because of that haunted gaze that she gave me. It solidified what I'd thought; that I was part of her torment. Me.

I grab my phone out of my pocket and scroll through my missed messages, none of which are from the person I want them to be from. I click on my photos and click on the last picture of her and I together. It was a picture we'd taken on my birthday. Her head is on my shoulder and my lips are on her forehead. She's giving the camera a radiant smile. It's smile that hurts my heart.

I wonder what a little version of us would've looked like. Would they have my hair and her smile? Would the have my hazel eyes or her brown ones? I picture her belly heavy with my child and quickly toss the phone away from me. I've never even thought about being a dad before and now I can't stop fucking thinking about it.

I'm twenty-three years old. I don't need to be thinking about fatherhood.

"Morning stallion." I hear a voice say from behind me, solidifying my previous thought. "You're an early riser."

"Couldn't sleep." I mutter out, not really wanting to engage in conversation. "I've got to be getting to work soon so—" I let my words hang in the air, hoping she catches my drift.

"You work on the weekends?" Her groggy voice says as she begins to dress herself.

"Yeah, I'm a bartender." No, I don't and no, I'm not.

"Well, last night was a good time, Bright." She walks over to me once she's fully dressed and leans down, placing a kiss on my cheek. "Call me again sometime." She hands me a piece of paper she'd written on from a pad of paper on the nightstand.

"Will do." Nope. I watch as she walks out the door and immediately chuck her number in the waste basket.

✩✩✩

"You have all the paperwork?" I nod over to Luke, hating that we're in Boston again. I hate that we're going to have to be coming back often. I hate it because things are so awkward with Amelia and I.

We have only spoken a handful of times since she had the miscarriage. Every time we did she sounded depressed. When I was there it was like she couldn't even look at me and now she can't even talk to me. It's been an entire month with only a quick conversation and me wishing Amelia a happy birthday.

I let out a sigh as we walk into the same building I'd had to carry her out of feeling a slight wave of nausea pass through me. I don't think I'll even see Amelia in person and I still can't help but visualize what had happened the last time I was here in my mind.

I see that horrified look on her face as the blood slid down her legs. I see her in the shower, sobbing endlessly. I see her shaking in my arms in her sleep. I hate every single one of the visuals thinking how I'd been partially the reason for them.

"I'm going to go to Cole's office. Why don't you wait for us in the conference room." I give him another nod and make my way to one of the last places I want to be. Once I enter the room, I'm met with another visual that I absolutely loathe with my entire being.

Amelia is leaning against the table with Rhoen in between her legs. He's got his hands wrapped in her hair as he kisses her hungrily. I feel like I'm stuck watching the worst horror film of all time.

I cough loudly which makes them automatically pull apart. Amelia looks over her shoulder with a horrified gaze probably thinking Cole had just walked in on them. Once she sees it's me she completely pales. Rhoen looks indifferent but at the same time relieved.

Amelia doesn't say anything as Rhoen backs out from in between her legs. She wipes her wet lips, the ones wet with his saliva. She doesn't look back at me before she quickly makes her way out of the conference room.

"Bet you're glad it's me and not your wife's brother that walked in, huh?" I blurted it out before I could even control myself.

"That is none of your business." He moves around the coffee table to sit across from where I'm standing.

"Not that in particular but she works for you so A) it's unethical and B) she works for your wife's brother, which makes it extra unethical, not to mention a bit fucked up. She could lose her job."

"I would never let Cole fire her over me." He says it simply like that's the answer to everything. "If he didn't want her working here I'd just give her a job working for me. Maybe even bring her to Vegas." The smug look on his face is driving me absolutely insane and he knows it.

"Yeah, you could try but you don't know her like I do. She would never leave the East Coast so good luck with trying to get her to Vegas to be your mistress." I spit out the words at him feeling the anger boiling up inside of me. "But hey, at least she's single now so you can finally try to sleep with her."

"You're being rude." He grits out from his clenched jaw. "Don't talk about her like that. She's not just my mistress. I'm not seeing her just so I can sleep with her, Jamie. I actually really like Amelia. She's had a rough go of it lately but I'm sure you know all about that."

"Excuse me?" He can't be talking about what I think he's talking about. He also can't be saying that he and Amelia are now in a relationship. This has got to be some kind of sick fucking joke.

"Well, maybe you wouldn't know all about it, considering you haven't been there for her but I know you know what what I'm talking about."

"This is a joke, right?" He lifts his eyebrows at me. "You're fucking kidding me right, Rhoen? How can you even say that? Did she not tell you I tried to stay? I tried to be there for her. She wouldn't let me. She practically begged me to leave." He shrugs, almost like he doesn't believe me. "She's my best friend. I would never leave her in a situation like that if she didn't beg me to. I care about her too much."

"And yet you left anyway."

"I left only because she wanted me to." He shrugs again like he knows better than me and somehow I can't take it. "You know what, you arrogant fucking prick, Amelia deserves better than some guy who's eleven fucking years older than her who has a wife and kids already." He makes his way around the table to stand in front of me. It's the first time I've noticed we're practically the same height.

"You want me to show you just how much of a fucking man I am, kid?" He called me kid. I hate when he fucking talks to me like I'm a fucking five-year-old. "Oh, did that bother you?" I give him a hard shove. "I bet that feels nice, doesn't it? First ones for free, kid. Second one won't be."

"Oh, good. I was hoping you'd say that." I give him another hard shove and he grabs ahold of my suit jacket, throwing me on the table. I react quickly by bouncing up and throwing a punch at his face. I clip his mouth and jaw, making him stumble back.

"No wonder she wanted you to leave." Rhoen wipes a little bit of blood away from his mouth. "You hit like a fucking bitch. Bet you fuck like one too." That was all I need to launch forward and start really going at it. Seth had taught me how to fight but apparently someone had also taught Rhoen. And, for a guy thirteen years my senior, he was giving it right back to me.

"Fuck you, you fucking prick."

"No, that'd be your best friend fucking my prick." The words come out arrogantly and it drives me fucking insane. Picturing him fucking her, being inside her the way I had, is equivalent to being doused with gasoline and then lit on fire; it fucking hurts like a raging bitch. The visual throws me off and I completely miss dodging the punch he'd thrown directly at my face, hitting me square in the eye.

"What the fuck is going on?!" I hear Luke yell but I don't care and seemingly neither does Rhoen. "Jesus, stop it the two of you! Stop it!"

"Rhoen?!" I hear Cole shout but he doesn't seem to hear it. "For fuck's sake!" I feel arms go around my torso, pulling me back. I watch as two arms pull Rhoen back as well. We both stop fighting but we don't stop glaring at each other.

"Excuse me while I talk to my young associate."

"Yes, you'll have to excuse me while I talk to mine as well." Cole basically drags Rhoen out of the room. But I can't help but smile at his already bruising face and his busted lip.

The moment the door closes Luke shouts, "what the fuck, James?" I hate when people call me James. I look anywhere but at him, not knowing what to say. "Just because he's interested in Amelia doesn't give you the right to pick a fight with him."

"What?" Luke knew Rhoen was into Amelia?

"It's obvious." He says with shrug. "He's clearly into her and his brother-in-law is infatuated with her too. She's a beautiful woman, James. It happens. You can't let him get under your skin though. And you can't fuck up this deal, even though I' pretty sure you have already managed to do that. I'd be surprised if Cole can get him to calm down enough to listen to anything we have to say."

"Does he fight?" It's all I can ask because the man knew how to handle himself. He took me on and I'm fucking a lot younger than him.

"Yes, he spars with Denver."

"That makes more sense." He shakes his head at me. "What? I thought I'd be able to take him." He just looks me over seriously. "He's sleeping with her, Luke."

"What?" He looks taken aback. "Rhoen is married. You're telling me he's cheating on his wife?"

"From what he's told Amelia and I, they're separated." I run my hand through my hair in aggravation. "They're getting a divorce."

"Does Cole know?"

"I have no idea." I answer honestly.

"Well, if he doesn't then I'm sure he's about to find out." Luke's face looks grim and I know that's because he thinks we're about to lose this contract. And I'd venture to say he's probably right.