A/N: I posted this chapter quickly. I just wanted to get it out before I ended up changing it again (I've rewritten it 3 times)! Chapter warnings for this one: manipulation, self-loathing, Vader being a Bad Bro™️

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Then (11 BBY)

Day 1

Azel pounds her hands against the steel door until they're bloodied and her voice is raw from yelling. The Force-suppressing collar is an added weight around her neck as if she wasn't already carrying the weight of the galaxy on her shoulders.

Her connection to the Force is cut-off. She feels physically weaker for it, but that intuitive connection to the living Force hardly feels any different than before, as if she cut herself off a long time ago without meaning to.

How did she manage that? She still had the Force around her, still used it, but she felt disconnected from it. Yeah, disconnected, that's the best way to describe it.

Except now she can't call upon it when she wants to.

She tried removing it several times only for it to shock her hands. She kept trying this until her fingers went numb. That's when she started pounding on the door... over two hours ago.

She continued on this vicious cycle until exhaustion took over and she passed out.

Day 2

Food is left for her when she wakes in the morning (at least she thinks it's morning), but she doesn't see who brings it in. Gauze and some bacta spray are left on the tray as well. Azel huffs. He doesn't want her dead. She knows this game, she's watched the rebels play it with spies they've caught. Torture, heal, torture some more. Vader needs her, and she knows he wants information.

She won't give it to him.

She glares at the items and ignores the roar in her stomach and ache on her knuckles.

He won't win.

Day 3

A stormtrooper comes in twice a day, each time with a new tray of food and water. Azel watches his movements, eyes what weapons he has on him, and checks how many are outside the door.

She makes a plan.

Day 4

When the stormtrooper arrives that evening, she has the tray in her hands and whacks him across the head with it. He stumbles and she runs for the door. In the hallway, Azel is greeted by two more stormtroopers and an officer. She disarms one trooper, but that's as far as she gets. She is so weak after not eating or drinking anything that they manage to knock her off balance and cuff her hands.

In under three minutes, she is thrown back in her cell and staring at another fresh tray of food.

Day 5

She finds herself sleeping more due to a lack of nutrition. The only reason she considers eating is because of Obi-Wan. Someone has to save him and someone has to protect Arrin and Han.

Four troopers enter the cell to bring in the food tray, two elite troopers stand outside the door with electrocution wands. She eyes them wearily. Those are nothing like the little zaps she gets from prying at the collar, the wands will send you to the floor convulsing until your limbs are too weak to move on their own.

Once they're gone, she stares at the food longingly. Her friends wouldn't want her to do this. They would want her healthy, no matter what's to come. Arrin, Han, and Obi-Wan would never let her give up so easily. Starving herself won't save any of them.

She picks up the slice of bread. Somehow this feels like defeat, but she pushes past it and takes a bite. The bread nearly melts in her mouth and before she knows it, the tray is empty and the water is chugged in three gulps.

She throws it all up minutes later.

Day 6

Azel paces herself with the food this time by eating small portions and spacing them out throughout the day.

She thinks about Obi-Wan. She has been trying to put him out of her mind for over a year despite all her actions being for him. Now that she has ample time alone, he is ever-present in her head and forces her to feel everything she's been repressing.

Guilt comes first, it eats away inside of her like a parasite, leaving behind shame and self-hatred. How could she let this happen? She could've done more to save him, she could've trusted him but instead, she let Vader get his hands on him.

She deserves this. She deserves to be locked far away from Obi-Wan and everyone else she's come to love. She vows to do exactly that if she ever makes it out of here. Her first priority is to free Obi-Wan, then she will set roots on the opposite side of the galaxy where she can't hurt him or anyone else. She does a great job convincing herself that's a solid plan.

She hasn't allowed herself tears since she broke down in front of Bail. She did this to herself, she isn't worthy of the tears, yet they come often and are unapologetic, leaving damp trails on her cheeks. She reflects on when she met Obi-Wan. He was hesitant, untrusting, and Azel was much the same. She remembers how she felt the pull towards the item under his bed that she now knows was Anakin's lightsaber. 

Mostly, she remembers his kind presence--calming and warm like the suns of Tatooine; gentle like the morning winds, and eyes a shade of blue that she imaged oceans to look like. After seeing the ones on Coruscant, she knows she was right.

Those days of training with him feel like a lifetime ago. Coruscant is a distant memory, along with the experiences that feel more like a fleeting dream. Maxwell, she hopes he is alright. She never got to ask about him since the Temple and waking up on Alderaan. He was a nice friend.

Her favorite memory, the most prominent these days, is when she rolled in the grass with Obi-Wan during combat training. He ended up on top of her and she watched as his eyes trailed over her face as if documenting each slope and crevice to memory. They lingered on her lips, and oh how she wished he had kissed her.

It felt so complicated at the time and now it feels so simple. What Azel would give to return to that moment, to pull Obi-Wan down to her lips and tell him she's sorry for everything, that she wants to run away with him and live like nothing matters but the two of them.

But she can't. She ruined everything. Even if she escapes and saves him, she will never be worthy of his love. 

Day 10

The days have been consistently the same. Azel eats when she can, paces the cell all other times, tries to meditate but that is pointless when she can't feel the Force, and simply stares at the door wondering how she is going to get out. She already checked every corner of the cell and there is absolutely no way out.

She is alone with her thoughts. She wants to claw at her skin until they stop but she hasn't lost her mind quite that much yet. Obi-Wan is constantly on her mind since there is nothing else to think about. The guilt, anger, and shame she feels at failing him are ever-present. The hatred she feels towards Vader and the Emperor is all-consuming. All of it is at the surface and the only way she has to cope with it is by banging on the door that only opens twice a day no matter how hard or long she hits it.

She has beaten the door bloody. Truly, her knuckles are bleeding and streaks of red are left on the gray steel of the door. She sits down and curls in on herself. She is staring at the marks and painting pictures in irregular, crimson patterns like finding faces in fluffy, white clouds. It's the only true color in the cell, and it torments her.

She sleeps quite often now, sometimes she has nightmares, sometimes she dreams of Obi-Wan, other times she doesn't dream at all.

When she wakes, it's to the door opening. She expects to have food delivered but instead sees a large, dark figure looming in the doorway.

Vader.

She glares at him.

"Where are the rebels?"

Azel raises an eyebrow. "Really? Are you so dense to believe I would tell you?" Her voice is rough from not speaking and raw from the yelling.

All she can hear is Vaders breathing. It doesn't shift, nothing indicating that he is affected by her words. "Asking is the less painful option. I have many choices at my disposal to make you talk."

She rolls her eyes. "How about I tell you where they are and you let Obi-Wan go."

"No."

"Then we have nothing to discuss."

"The Emperor is certain that you will join us."

She raises an eyebrow at that.

"I too am skeptical."

She huffs. "Well, since we both know that won't happen how about you let me go?"

"No."

Azel sighs and lays back down. "Then get out of my cell."

"You make a lot of demands for someone held captive."

"Maybe I'm harboring hope that your familial duty will overcome your lust for the Dark Side."

"There is no power greater than that of the Dark Side. Even not joining us you must see that is true. Obi-Wan can attest to that."

Azel grits her teeth and glares daggers at him. How dare he even speak his name.

"Hmm," Vader hums without elaborating.

Wanting to resist the urge but failing, she gives in and asks, "what?"

"I can feel your hatred. You have anger towards me and the Emperor, but to yourself as well."

Azel turns her head away and clenches her teeth so hard she is certain one will crack.

"I was like you once," he says.

"We are nothing alike."

"We are every bit alike. You held my saber, you've been to my chambers at the Temple. I know what you've seen and felt. You know the things I have done out of hatred, and the things I blame myself for. This is no different. We have both harmed the person we love in the name of protection."

Azel is on her feet. "But I didn't protect him, did I? I let it happen. I stood there and watched."

"And I choked my wife to death. But before that? Everything I did was to protect her. When you came to me, was it not in place of Obi-Wan? Was it not to save him over yourself?"

Azel turns away and crosses her arms. "We are not so different," Vader says again. "And maybe that is why the Emperor is so certain you will join us."

After hearing that explanation, her thoughts start to betray her. Is she really no different from Vader? She blinks back tears, unaware of when they started to come, and looks over her shoulder, not meeting his gaze. "You're wrong," she whispers, but now she wonders who she is trying to convince.

"We'll see," he says and turns away.

Azel panics. I can't be left alone in here again. 

"No! wait!"

The door slams shut before she can reach it.

Day 15

Azel dreams.

It's more of a memory, she and Obi-Wan are dancing for the first time. She had to drag him out, and she hears the music like she is there all over again. She remembers being held close by him, she remembers the necklace he bought her (the one she still wears), and she remembers pulling his hand as they left. She remembers Han running up to them and the three of them went back to the ship like it was a casual night out. Like they were a family.

When Azel wakes, she has tears in her eyes and running down her cheeks. She lets the sobs take over and she cries. Oh, how she wishes she could go back to simpler times--to hopeful ones. She was happy with the three of them, hopeful she could find her mother somewhere. Then it all shattered and people died on Ryturn and she learned her mother is dead and Obi-Wan--

Obi-Wan never wanted to be involved in the first place.

She hates herself for it. For all of it. She never should've gone to Obi-Wan, she should've listened to Arrin. She wishes and wishes and wishes--

But it's not enough, it's never enough because he is trapped in a frozen prison and she is trapped in a cell. He deserves a life free of pain and suffering. He doesn't need to fight anymore.

She loves him, but Azel hates herself more.

She hates the Empire, she hates her brother, but she hates herself so much she feels like she might explode. 

She spent a year repressing all of it, ignoring it, pretending that if she sets a goal and focuses on that and then achieves it then it would all go away, but now she doesn't think it will happen. Now she is left with nothing but pain and anger.

No wonder Master Yoda wouldn't see her, no wonder Qui-Gon won't speak to her. 

She is no Jedi.

Day 20

When Vader comes again, it's with two elite stormtroopers and they cuff her. 

"Come with me," he says. As if she has a choice here.

She is shoved out of the cell after Vader and held by both stormtroopers by either bicep as they walk down the detention block. She'd be lying if she said it didn't feel good to actually be using her legs again. Sure she was pacing her cell but she established it's only six feet by four feet so it's not like she was getting very far or anywhere resembling actual exercise.

She also keeps track of the distance she is from the elevators and which floor they get off at. 

They walk through the halls in silence, Vader leading the way. Any stormtroopers or personnel they pass step off to the side and wait until they've passed before they continue walking.

By the time they stop, Azel is breathing heavily from so much exertion. It's amazing how not moving for weeks can make things as simple as walking feel difficult.

However, she also notices that they are in a hangar and a Tydirium shuttle ship is being loaded. 

But it doesn't matter because at the bottom of the ramp is a carbon block.

Obi-Wan.

Azel jerks but the grip of the troopers on her arms are too tight. 

The block is flanked by two beings in all red, and a hooded figure is standing on the other side of Obi-Wan. There is a row of about 10 stormtroopers on either side creating a path that leads to the open ship ramp.

They come to a stop a few feet away from Obi-Wan. Vaders body is blocking her view and the troopers holding her have her so tight she's certain bruises will be left behind.

Vader bows. "My Master. I have brought Skywalker as you have requested."

"Very good, Lord Vader." A pause. "Turn him."

Azel sees one of the red-cloaks press buttons on the carbon block and watched as it slowly rises to be vertical. That's when Vader stepped out of the way and the Emperor came around to stand in front of her. His yellow eyes stand out from beneath his darkened cloak.

"It is lovely to see you again, miss Skywalker--"

"What are you doing to him?" She blurts and finds herself struggling again.

He sighs and steps aside. Hidden beneath layers of rock, Obi-Wan's face is morphed in pain, slightly turned to the side, one handheld upwards as if to shield himself, the other at his side. She can see the details of his tunics and hair as easily as if he were unfrozen in front of her.

"Obi-Wan," she whispers.

She can't feel him, and maybe that's because of the Force suppressing collar she is wearing, or maybe because--

"Is he dead?" She doesn't recognize her own voice.

"No, he is very much alive, I assure you," the Emperor replies.

She tries to move but is held back. 

"Let her," he says, and then she is released. She walks right up to Obi-Wan's form. She blinks back tears as she approaches him. She reaches her hand up, not caring that she is in cuffs, and places her hand in his raised one. A tear falls. 

"I'm so sorry," she whispers to his frozen form. 

She wishes she could at least feel him, to feel his comforting signature, to feel that he is alive herself.

That everything is going to be okay.

Yet, she is not worthy of even having such comfort. He is in there because of her. No matter the circumstances that drove her to that point, it's all because of her.

She needs to get him out. 

The anger is back in a flash and suddenly she is throwing her body into the red figure on her right and reaching for the controls on the block. 

Just before she can touch it, or even figure out what the hell the releases are, she is grabbed and thrown to the floor, pinned by four troopers, several guns on her form.

"Stop," the Emperor demands, looking completely undisturbed as if he knew she would react this way, and then looked down at her. "I am showing him to you so that you can properly say goodbye."

Everything freezes. Time stops. Her breathing stops. Everything zeros in on the Emperor and the blood rushing in her ears. "Are you going to kill him?" Her voice doesn't sound like her own, it's like she is drowning underwater.

"No, of course not, dear. I am simply taking him into my personal custody. He will be far away from the both of you so neither of you will have any distractions while Lord Vader trains you in the Dark Side of the Force."

Azel glares at him. "I will never join you."

He smiles, she can see perfectly under his hood from her place on the floor, and he is kriffing smiling. "Oh, you will dear. Your feelings betray you." He waves his hand and the red troops put Obi-Wan horizontal again and start moving him onto the ship. Azel struggles but it's no use. "I feel the hate and anger flowing within you. You have nothing left. The Rebels will never take you back now that you've been here for nearly a month, your precious Jedi will never be in your reach again, and you blame yourself. I remember when Lord Vader was in a similar position." When she looks back at him she feels the fight drain from her body. "You will become a Sith, and you will be powerful."

"I don't care about power," she whispers. "I only care about killing you."

"And if you somehow manage that impossible feat, you will never learn where your Jedi is."

He's trapped her. She won't be able to kill him, even with amazing training, because she will never know where Obi-Wan is. Even if she agrees to train and earns their trust, it will never happen.

And Vader will never know either.

If anything, she will have to make sure that the Emperor doesn't die.

Kriffing bastard. He's trapped her.

"You're sick," she spits at him.

"No," he says, "I'm unlimited power." He enunciates each word and waves his hand at the troopers pinning Azel. They yank her to her feet. "Now you will go back to your cell and think about your choices. Not that you have any. It's either spend the rest of your life in that cell or join us."

Azel doesn't get the chance to respond. She is dragged away by the troopers. 

When she reaches her cell, they uncuff her and toss her back in. The door is closed before she has the chance to turn around.

Day 21

Azel sleeps, and then she thinks and thinks and thinks some more. This cell isn't so bad. She can make it homey, right?

She looks around at the steel walls, steel bench, and steel door holding the only point of color in the space (which has faded to such a deep shade of red it looks brown) and fights the nausea building in her stomach. She doesn't eat when they bring her food. She sleeps some more.

Day 22

She wonders if it would be easier to die but then she throws that thought to the side. She could never leave Obi-Wan like that, even if she spends the rest of her life finding ways to reach him. She could never do that to Han or Arrin, even if they hate her for leaving. 

They would hate her even more if she joined this side of the fight.

Obi-Wan would hate her if he knew she was contemplating joining the Dark Side of the Force.

No, it's not an option. 

But even if she escaped, she would have nothing left. The only people who would welcome her with open arms are Vader and Palpatine. She's alone. She hates herself and blames herself. She hates them.

No, she can't give in, even if it's only to spite the two of them.

Day 23

It's pointless. She can't live in this cell forever.

She can't get the collar off, she is powerless. She doesn't stand a chance of ever beating the two of them by remaining in this cell. 

She doesn't stand a chance of saving Obi-Wan from within this cell. 

She could just... join them... see what happens...

No, no, she absolutely cannot do that. That goes against everything the Jedi stand for and everything Obi-Wan stands for. She will put the rebels at risk, Arrin and Han, not to mention herself.

But... what if it's the only way?

What if someone kills the Emperor and Obi-Wan is lost forever?

She is powerless in this cell, literally powerless.

She cannot let that continue either.

Day 24 

Vader comes. 

Azel stands and watches his form. He is alone. She could attack him but she knows she wouldn't get very far.

They stare.

"I'm here to give you a chance to change your mind," he finally says.

"Why?" All this time, she's never asked why they want her. Now that she has made up her mind, she can't help but wonder what's in it for them. 

"Because despite what you may think about me, I don't want to see you rotting in a cell."

She lifts an eyebrow. "Is that sentiment I sense, dear brother?"

"You sense nothing with that collar."

She purses her lips. Low blow. "I won't join you," she says more for the sake of her pride than anything else.

"Your feelings are telling you otherwise."

"You know nothing of my feelings."

"I was right before, those feelings have not changed. You hate yourself and me, and the Emperor. You're too far in to go back now. You followed what you thought was right before and it led you here. See what true power is and it will never lead you astray. Join me, Azel. Together, we can rule the galaxy as brother and sister. We will never be lesser for trusting in the Light Side of the Force again. We will be stronger than it."

Vader steps closer and closer until he is directly in front of her.

"Feel what I feel, sister," he says and then pulls an object out of his belt and removes the collar.

Azel falls to the floor from the power of it. 

Everything around her comes in vibrant colors and sounds. Her clothing feels rough against her skin, she is hyper-aware of Vader in front of her, and how many living beings are in the hall outside. She can sense the energy in the lights and feel the air flowing from the vents around her.

But most of all, she feels her own feelings.

Her hate, her anger, it makes her feel worse. It hurts and hurts and hurts. She didn't think she was in this much pain. Why does she feel it so harshly? She releases a sob with tears streaming down her face. It hurts so bad that she is on the verge of asking Vader to put the collar back on.

Then she senses him and hones in on it. The same emotions are coming from Vader, but it makes him stronger. How does he make those things feel stronger? How is he not crumpled on the floor in turmoil?

As if hearing her thoughts he says, "you can use your feelings to make you stronger. Everything you feel. Your hatred. You can use it to your advantage."

Not even thinking of anything but the overwhelming pain, she looks up at him from her knees and whispers, "how?"

He reaches his hand out to her. "Let me show you."

Azel, still sobbing and sniffling, takes his hand.