Then (12 BBY)

There's something to be said about pain. It teaches the body to endure the stressors around it, whether it be physical, mental or emotional. It teaches endurance and strength.

At least, that's what her previous owner Daaviks told her when she was sixteen.

Azel believed it for the longest time. The pain is a teacher, and you're the student expected to take what is given to you and twist it into something useful. Pain doesn't have to be pain—that was never acceptable working as a slave—pain was a weapon. Pain was a power. Pain would never be a weakness.

That is one of the reasons why Azel pushed to find her mother. The pain was drowning her, but Daaviks gave her a new perspective and she found a way to channel that helpless feeling into something else: determination. Change the feeling, change the focus, and the situation will change.

She set her sights on finding her mother and centered herself on that ever since.

Not once did she think about what would happen after.

Not once did she think about the consequences of her actions.

Not once did she expect her world to fall apart all around her.

The flaw in Daaviks strategy is when the pain becomes too much. When bad things happen consecutively and everything is clouded by suffering. Because the truth is sometimes pain, suffering, guilt and heartbreak are just as they seem. None of it makes you stronger, they don't build character; they only hurt.

How, she wonders desperately with tears streaming down her face, how can you utilize this much pain? What would you have to say to me now?

Her mother is dead and has been for a long time. The person she relied on to teach her and protect her has betrayed her; the very same person she has fallen in love with and equally betrayed, is gone. Not dead but worse; frozen in carbonite and held captive by the Emperor himself. The Emperor that wants her to join his and her brothers side.

How is it things could change so drastically in such a short amount of time?

"Azelynn! We need to go!"

A voice in the bubble of misery. Azel watched as Vader pulled the block of carbonite containing Obi-Wan from the mechanism and check his status. Alive. She stared on feeling numb except for the guilt slowly bleeding through. She could have prevented it, she could have saved him. But she didn't, she let Vader do his deeds and didn't so much as lift a finger to stop him. Even if she failed in doing so, she let this happen. The alarms blared, the ground shifted below her feet and still, she let Vader and his troops escort Obi-Wan from the room. She looked Vader in the eye as he passed and watched them leave. They didn't even bother to take her too.

Now she is standing—no kneeling (when did she fall to her knees?) and staring down at Obi-Wans lightsaber in her hand. The only piece of him she has left, and she doesn't even deserve to hold it.

"Azelynn!"

The compound shakes again and her with it, but this time there are hands on her shoulders trying to get her attention by jostling her. Arrin is in front of her and dragging her to her feet.

It's my fault, she thinks. He should just leave her to die.

"I'm not leaving you."

Did she say that out loud? Does it matter?

"I bypassed their mainframe and placed a bug in the system so the facility is self-destructing..." Arrin goes on explaining in detail what he did, but she's not listening.

They make it to the ship as parts of the structure break apart and fall to the lava. She tries not to think about how it's a metaphor for her life. She barely notices Arrin push her to the co-pilots seat, run through pre-flight checks, or lift off the ground and into the air.

This is all my fault, she thinks again. It echoes in her head like a mantra and each time the statement ends it's a knife twisting in her stomach before it begins all over again.

"Azelynn? Are you even listening?"

They're in space now, and Arrin is about to send them into lightspeed but he is staring at her with concern that she doesn't deserve.

"Just go," she says. It's barely a whisper. "Get to Han."

Arrins face softens, either in understanding or the mention of Han, she isn't sure but he sends the ship into hyperspace all the same.

When they reach Tatooine it's dark and cool outside. It doesn't take long to find Obi-Wans hut and land in a secluded canyon nearby.

They get to the door and Arrin knocks on it.

"Kid, open up, it's us."

The door slides open and there stands little Han with his big brown eyes and a blaster in his shaking hand.

"Azel!" Han exclaims and runs at Azel to hug her around the waist.

"Are you kidding? It's like I don't even exist," Arrin pouts.

Despite Azels mood, it makes her smile and hug Han back.

"Did you get taller?" She wonders as she hugs him to her stomach.

Han beams up at her and perches on his tip-toes. "I'm almost as tall as you!"

"Almost," Azel says and moves some of his hair out of his face. "You better go hug Arrin now, he's going to continue pouting if you don't."

"I'm not pouting."

Han looks at him. "You're pouting," he agrees.

"Unbelievable. I'm teamed up on. You gonna give me a hug or not pal?"

Han giggles and runs at Arrin, attacking him at his waist and making him stumble.

In the far distance, Azel hears the cries of sand people and it makes her remember it's not safe outside at night on Tatooine.

"We better get inside," she tells the pair who are giggling together.

"Yeah Arrin!"

"Yeah Han!"

"Children," Azel gives them a pointed, albeit amused look.

"Uh-oh, you made mom angry." Arrin mock whispers to Han before ushering him through the door.

Azel glances around before following them inside. She shuts and locks the door behind her.

Arrin and Han are arguing in the kitchen about food but Azel isn't paying close enough attention. It feels wrong to be inside Obi-Wans home after what she did, and it also feels surreal. He was there with her, and suddenly he wasn't, and now she is surrounded by physical reminders of him.

"You okay?"

Azel didn't realize she was staring into space just outside the kitchen. Arrin and Han are looking at her with concern. Azel nods her head.

"Just tired. I'm going to pass on dinner and try to sleep." It is true, Azel feels exhausted.

Arrin nods. "Well, the kid hasn't been living off much anyway. I'll have to pick somethings up in the morning."

"But there is nothing wrong with the Bantha meat!"

"Kid, I'm pretty sure you couldn't get a Jawa to eat that."

Han deflates. "Fine," he mumbles.

"Get to bed. It's late."

Han grumbles and hugs Arrin and then Azel. He yawns, "g'night."

"Goodnight, Han." Azel runs her fingers through his hair, it's growing quickly, just like him.

"Sleep tight," Arrin says after him.

The hut is small, so Han doesn't travel far to lay down in the bunk. Arrin dims the lights for him.

"You want the couch?"

Azel shrugs.

"Take the couch. I'll find blankets."

—

Turns out Obi-Wan had several extra blankets and pillows. Azel is covered snuggly on the couch, and Arrin set up a pretty decent bed on the floor beside her.

Han is snoring softly on the other side of the wall, and Azel wishes she could fall into such a deep sleep. Despite how exhausted she is, sleep will not come.

"Arrin," she whispers. "You awake?"

"Mmph, no," he grumbles.

"I can't stay."

She hears him shift and sees from her peripherals that he's sat up on his elbows. "What?"

Azel turns on her side to face him. "It's my fault, Arrin."

"What?" He repeats.

"All of it," she continues and her eyes grow glassy. Suddenly, she's rambling fast, "Obi-Wan wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for me. I went after Vader to save you but—"

"Okay, okay." He's awake now and rubbing his eyes. "Slow down, and start from the beginning."

Azel explains in detail what happened with Obi-Wan and her training, and then Obi-Wan learning who she is and furthermore not telling her. Then discovering he's been keeping the death of her mother a secret and having to learn it from the Emperor.

"I tried to tell you—"

"I don't need an I told you so, Arrin."

"No, that's not—I tried to tell you about your mother."

Now Azel is frowning.

"What?"

"Han and I followed a lead that brought us here. There was a slave owner, Watto, he sent us to a moisture farm on the Great Chott salt flat. There's a family there, the older man bought your mother and married her. They were really happy according to his son and fiancée. The man passed away a year ago, and your mother..." Arrin trails off and seems to contemplate his next words. "Your mother was taken by sand people, they tried searching for her but nothing turned up and a lot of people got injured.

Another man and woman came searching for her some time after she was taken. The boy claimed to be her son."

"By the Force," Azel mutters to herself.

"He found your mother, but he found her dead."

Azel closes her eyes, silent tears streaming down her face. "So, he wasn't lying."

Arrin shakes his head. "I told Ben this. I thought he would pass along the information."

Azel lays back down and stares at the ceiling. She feels numb, aside from the guilt which is ever present and unrelenting.

"You can't blame yourself."

Azel sniffs and looks at him. The light from the moons are shining through the window and illuminating half of Arrins face. The concern and worry written plainly in his eyes.

"Then why is blame all I feel?"

Arrin, bless him, actually struggles to find an answer to that.

"I have to fix this."

That brings him out of his stupor. "And how the hell are you going to do that?"

"I don't know. But I have to do something. I can't leave him like that."

Arrin frowns and hesitates before gently saying, "the same man that withheld information about your mother? The same man who manipulated you into training?"

"I'm in love with him."

Silence.

"Stars, Azelynn." He falls to his back and his fingers go to his forehead. Hans snoring fluctuates, and the pair freeze until they hear his breathing even out again. "By the Maker," Arrin curses again, more quiet this time. "Why? How can you love someone that did that to you?"

"It wasn't all bad, Arrin. Most of it was good. I don't know how or why, I just know that I am." She shrugs helplessly.

Arrin stares at her for a long time before he utters kriff under his breath and sighs so heavy all the tension leaves his body. "I'll help you," he states. "Of course, I'll help you, but we do it together this time." His eyes bore into hers as if daring Azel to argue. "We stick together, alright?"

She watches him for a moment, and his gaze is unwavering. Finally, Azel reaches her arm down and grasps his hand in hers and gives it a squeeze.

"Thank you."

"You never have to thank me," he squeezes back.

They're quiet for a moment, Hans snoring is the only sound surrounding them.

"Who was the family that had my mother?" Azel wonders.

"Uh, the Lars, I believe."

Azel hums, and pulls her hand back.

"So, the son said she was happy?" She needs to hear it again.

Arrin is quiet for a moment, his heart aching for his friend, but after a moment he reassures, "yeah, she was happy."

—

Azel waits until Arrin is sound asleep before climbing silently off the couch and stepping carefully around him. She puts her boots and cloak on, and holsters a blaster to her leg before going to the door. She pauses.

There are two lightsabers sitting on the table, neither of them hers, but both of them a means of protection in case the blaster fails.

She hesitates, but picks up Anakins. She has no right to even consider Obi-Wans.

Outside, it's still dark but the moons give her enough light to see the land speeder parked beside the door.

"Azelynn."

Azel jumps and pulls her blaster from her leg. She turns and points it at someone she didn't think she'd see again.

"Qui-Gon?"

The Force ghost smiles small and stiff, his hands are held in front of him and he is watching her with an unreadable expression.

Guilt filters through Azel. Qui-Gon was practically a father to Obi-Wan, and she betrayed him.

This can't be good.

"You shouldn't leave."

She blinks and holsters her weapon. "Why?"

"The answers you seek will only bring you pain."

Azel grits her teeth. "I don't think there's much more pain I can feel at this point.

"You knew this whole time didn't you?"

Qui-Gon remains silent.

She scuffs. "It's been nothing but lies with you Jedi," she bites out. "Why are you here?"

"To stop you from doing something you'll regret."

Azel laughs without humor. "That ship has long since sailed."

Qui-Gon moves this time. His expression is serious enough to make Azel freeze in place.

"I cannot tell you the future, only that your steps from now on need to be made from a place of logic and calculation, not from your feelings."

"You're here to tell me to use my brain and not my heart?"

"No. A Jedi uses their heart to show compassion, that's an important part of being a Jedi, but you must know the difference between utilizing your compassion and acting on your emotions."

Azel stares at him. "That makes no sense."

Qui-Gon sighs. "You went after the Emperor and Vader because they had your friend. You made a split second decision—"

"It wasn't split second," she snapped. "I chose to leave Obi-Wan because Vader told me he wants him. I did what I had to to protect him."

"Yes, and look where you are now."

Azel looks away, not letting him see the tears forming in her eyes.

Qui-Gon lowers his voice to something more gentle. "I'm not here to scold you, young one."

"You're here to keep me from making decisions based on emotions."

"More or less."

"Why don't you want me going to the Lars'?"

Qui-Gon is quiet. Azel looks at him to find he's staring out at the Tatooine desert. "You will find more questions than answers. That is all I can say for now."

"Then so be it. I need to talk to the son."

She turns away from him and straddles the speeder.

"Azelynn."

Azel doesn't look at him, but she doesn't leave either.

"Obi-Wan would never blame you for what's happened. Search in the Force, and you'll find what you're looking for."

She grits her teeth and looks back at him only to find he's gone.

She starts up the speeder and races off.

—

The Judland Wastes are massive, taking up the better part of Anchorheads southern outskirts and stretching through the desert and past Mos Eisley. The salt flat is between the two cities and take up about half of the expanse of the desert stretching northward.

Moisture farms are spread thinly with few and far in between, but each major city has a map of the farms and who runs them stationed at each entrance of the towns.

A quick stop into Anchorhead tells Azel that Owen Lars lives only a couple quadrants away from Obi-Wan, and something about that makes Azels stomach churn.

She reaches the homestead by suns rise. The one positive thing Azel could say about Tatooine is how beautiful the suns are at each rise and set. The sky is painted in purples and pinks, casting a warm glow on everything the light touches.

Azel powers down the speeder and slides off. It's only then that she notices a bronze C-5 unit approaching.

"How can I help you?" It asks. The droid is the same height as Azel and it's eyes are small dots that seem to stare into her soul.

She's never been a fan of protocol droids.

"I'm looking for Owen Lars."

"You found him."

Azel looks behind the droid to see a man, not much older than Obi-Wan, exiting out of the hab. He's wiping his hands on a rag as he approaches the pair.

"Thank you, C-5. That will be all."

The droid bows and then promptly goes inside.

Once they're alone, Owen holds out his hand. "Owen Lars. Are you here about the hydro-mill?"

Azel takes his hand to shake. "Uh, no, actually." They pull apart and Owen frowns, crossing his arms. Azel can't help but feel self-conscious. "My names Azelynn Skywalker. I believe you know my mother."

Owens face falls so deeply she wonders if this was a mistake, but the thought is fleeting because it's her mother and she has every right to know.

Owen stares at her, frozen in place until Azel clears her throat and shifts awkwardly.

"Sorry," Owen shakes himself from his thoughts and clears his own throat. "I just—I—come with me."

Azel follows Owen to the other side of the hab. They go a short distance away to a row of stones sticking out from the sand. The closer she gets the more she realizes what they are, and the name on one in particular catches Azels breath.

Shmi Skywalker.

"Mom," Azel breathes out and collapses in front of the grave marker.

Owen starts to explain what happened, how she was taken and how many people went after her, and how those who came back were left with life-long scars and wounds.

"Then, your brother shows up."

He starts to explain the details, how they met, how Anakin found her, and the funeral they held.

"Why weren't you here?" Owen asks her at the end.

Azel is thrown for a loop at the question. She turns to look at Owen who looks just as confused as she does.

"I—" Where to even begin. "What do you mean? I've been cris-crossing the galaxy trying to find her, only to discover that she's dead and has been on the same planet as me this entire time." She's standing now, her hands are clenched in fists. The more Azel spoke the more angry she became. "She was sold to another slave dealer who is notorious for traveling off-world. As soon as I could free myself, I tracked him down and beat him until he gave me information. One lead after another I followed, only to be brought back here. Tell me, why?"

It's a rhetorical question, but still, Owen shakes his head and says, "I don't know."

"Why didn't your father free me too? Why didn't she come see me to at least tell me she's okay?" The anger is giving way to sadness and her eyes are tearing up. She turns away from Owen and crosses her arms, dropping to the sand once more in front of her mothers grave.

"My father tried," Owen whispers. "Shmi talked about you all the time, your brother too. I don't know the exact details, but I know my father tried buying you free but your owner couldn't be bought. I know he threatened my dad and your mom to never come near you unless they had a death wish."

Azel scrubs at her face, hands coming away wet. "So, they stayed away," she whispers.

"Yes."

It's reasonable, and makes sense. Maybe Azel would've done the same thing if the roles were reversed—

No, that's a lie. She would've done everything in her power to get her mother back, or at the very least see her. It's what she's dedicated her freedom to, isn't it?

Azel goes to war with her mind, trying to see reason with her mothers actions and give her the benefit of the doubt instead of assuming the worst, but the worst seems to be winning.

You will find more questions than answers.

Azel clenches and unclenches her fists before standing up again.

"Uncle Owen?"

Both step-siblings turn to see a boy, maybe a little younger than Han, standing a few feet away. He rubs his eyes tiredly, his blond hair is rumpled, and he's holding a toy spaceship to his chest.

"Luke, go back inside." Owen demands.

Luke barely registers Azel before he turns around and disappears inside. Azel is glaring daggers at Owen.

"Uncle Owen?" She questions.

And it all falls into place.

The pregnant women in those visions she's had, it was Anakins significant other. She must've tried to see him but he was already too far gone in the dark side, hence his abusive actions.

Obi-Wan setting up his exile on Tatooine. He said he had a friend who once lived here, now she knows it was Anakin. Now she knows it also has to do with that child.

She doesn't have all the pieces, but she has enough.

"Uncle, yeah. My sister-in-law—"

"Don't lie to me," she growls.

Owen winces but looks at her, the concern plainly written on his face. "A man came when he was just a baby, he claimed Luke was my nephew and he had no other family. His father..." he trails off and gives her a knowing look. "And his mother died in child birth."

"The same woman that came here with him the first time?"

Owen nods.

"Does he know?" She gestures toward the hab.

"In a way. He knows his parents died, but his father was a pilot and not a Jedi. He's too young to know anything else."

"Does he know he's Force Sensitive?"

Owen jerks his head to stare at her dead-on.

"What?"

Oh. He doesn't even know.

Azel shakes her head. "It doesn't matter. Are you ever going to tell him?"

Owen looks away, and he seems to be really thinking about it. "Beru wants me to. My wife. She thinks he deserves to know."

"And you don't?"

"It would put him in danger."

"He's already in danger from his blood alone. That's not even mentioning his Force sensitivity."

"Owen!" A woman calls from inside.

"Just a minute!" He calls back. He turns to Azel. "I think you should leave."

Azel nods her head. The suns are fully risen now, the sky is slowly transitioning from orange to yellow and she can feel the warmth of the rays on her face.

They both move together, Owen towards his home and Azel towards her speeder. However, Azel catches his arm before he can get too far away.

"He is not safe, whether he knows about his parents or not. You should listen to your wife."

Owen looks at her, still an ever present concern on his face. "He is safe here. I can protect him, I assure you."

Azel scoffs. "From the Empire? Because that's who he needs protection from." She pauses, another thought occurring to her. "Tell me you're not crazy enough to have him go by Skywalker?"

He looks away and Azel tightens her grip. "Change it. Immediately. Also, there will come a day where Luke won't be satisfied staying here." Owen glares at her for that. "Nothing personal, but the Force is going to become more prominent the older he gets and that will only put more of a target on his back and when that happens, not even you can protect him."

"So, what are you saying?"

Azel pauses, not even sure what she's saying herself. The kid is in danger, and that is no question, but he is no safer with Azel right now than he would be hidden on a desert planet.

You will find more questions than answers.

She tells him the only thing she knows for certain right now, "that you'll be seeing me again."

—

A/N: LOL ohmygod this was suppose to be a short chapter and it turned into this. I kept promising an update but the characters kept writing themselves and rewriting themselves until I had to put my foot down and settle with this one. Mind you, it was all written on my phone and a little rushed so I'm sorry for any mistakes that were made.

The coming chapters will consist of a couple time jumps (but don't let that scare you, it's worth it I promise) and alternate between Obi-Wan and Azel.

I'd like to clarify how I have been imagining the whole Slave dealing business. We know Azel bought herself from slavery, but we also just read that her owner wouldn't sell to Cleigg. I'm rolling with Azel (same with Arrin) being under a contract where after a certain amount of years in servitude you have the option to buy yourself out. That's what they did.

NOTE: I don't know squat about Tatooine's geography. I know cities, and I got some names from google but the exact layout is made up.

In other news, tell me what you think about:

The Mandalorian

The Rise of Skywalker

Do some in-line comments! I imagine there will be spoilers so don't look if you haven't watched either of them! (which you absolutely HAVE to if you haven't because they're both SO GOOD) Also, the Obi-Wan Kenobi show we've been dying for???? SO HAPPY IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING OUR BOY DESERVES IT. ABSOLUTE KING.

Also, THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME REACH 18K I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENED BUT IT HAPPENED. I LOVE YOU GUYS!