"...you find boys attractive?"

"Oh no, this is a serious problem. I don't want anyone on my mind, and just because they're males, I have to deal with ten times more issues than usual,"

"Why do you say that?"

"Society, Yamaguchi. If I began looking at females, everyone would just say it was part of growing up. But if I start looking at males, I will be judged and hated for it. Alternatively, everyone who doesn't care, will feel a need to tell me of how much they support me or how this doesn't change their perceptions of me. I really don't want to deal with either side of the situation,"

"You're thinking about this very rationally, Tsukki,"

"That's because it hasn't sunk in yet. Talk to me tomorrow at school and we'll see how calm I am about it,"

"False alarm," Yamaguchi stared at Kei with great question. "Everything yesterday on the bus? I was beyond tired. I wasn't rational. We can forget we even had that conversation," but Yamaguchi wasn't convinced.

"Uhm, are you sure, Tsukki? You seemed pretty sure of yourself last night,"

"Well, clearly not. The gay has been vanquished. The 'finding people good looking' thing was a temporary slip into madness. No need to worry," Kei spoke in such a calm voice, a deadly serious undertone that Yamaguchi knew it was fake – but he wasn't necessarily trying to lie. More like, he was trying to convince himself that the feelings he had seen within himself were fake. He woke up and looked back at his realisation the night before, just to reject them completely.

It would be too much of a drag to try and work himself out, and Yamaguchi – well, if Kei himself didn't want to put in the effort for himself, then he sure as hell didn't expect someone else to go through it with him.

"Tsukki, it's not wrong of you to-,"

"I said no need to worry, Tadashi," Yamaguchi cringed at the use of his first name. "Please just..." Kei gave him a look, one full of silent distress and questions and questions and- "Be there when I need you?" he spoke softly – vulnerable.

"I'm here for you," Yamaguchi emphasised, Kei nodding in confirmation. He then adjusted his glasses and his position in his seat.

"Let's just get today done. I think practice will also be quite interesting, considering the King and Hinata threw punches last night,"

But the afternoon practice was quite vacant as Coach Ukai left them to their own devices while he went to sort out Hinata and Kegayama. Apparently, he dragged the ginger to the old Coach Ukai and had Kageyama change from an exponential to a parabolic trajectory.

"Yachi, you were there, right? Who threw the first punch?" Kei questioned the girl at the lazy afternoon practice, quite interested in the entire situation. It was amusing to him.

"I-it was Hinata..." Yachi fidgeted, twiddling her fingers together.

"Seriously? Hinata began that fight?" Sugawara whispered to himself, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Hinata feels really strongly about this, and to be honest, I think he needed this. He's never had any real opportunities to better himself in middle school so I think it's good that he's learning to fly out the nest on his own," Daichi spoke. "Still, I never thought he had a violent side. I could've gone at this all in a better way,"

"He has to deal with the King though. The crown that's on that man's head is thick enough to block any rationality from the outside," Kei snickered.

"Look, Tsukishima, when I was your age-,"

"Look, Tanaka, when I was your height-,"

"Hey, fuck you man,"

"Tanaka! Language!"

"Japanese!"

"Ai guys, stop it. We've got two weeks before the training camp and I would really love it if we had some new experimental tools in our arsenal by that time," Daichi grabbed anyone's attention.

"Like what?"

"Actually, I had a thought-," Nishinoya began.

"I'll buy a card to commemorate the moment,"

"Tsukishima!"

"I want to do sets," everyone turned to regard Nishinoya. "Like what Seijo's libero did,"

"I also have a couple of ideas I want to try with everyone out," Sugawara added with excitement in his eyes. That was around the time Kei stopped listening. Whatever they wanted to attempt in their free time, was their business.

Yamaguchi and Kei's walk back from the school was one in silence, but it wasn't exactly a comfortable one. Kei knew all Yamaguchi wanted to talk about was his disinterest in the team's practice and the gay agenda he was avoiding, but they both knew that he would halt the conversation to a close within a minute and then nothing would've been accomplished.

"Oh, Tsukki, I'm heading this way. I'm going to mister Shimada's place to practice my serves," Yamaguchi said as they came to a crossway in the roads.

"Alright. Later, then," he said without any emotion attached and pulled his headphones over his ears. He walked off, not a moment of hesitation in any of his moves. Yamaguchi stared on at his friend for a second with sadness before he headed off. It was only after Kei heard Yamaguchi footsteps die out, that he turned on his music.

Every carpet, every floor

Everywhere I look I fall

Climbing up the walls, I'm climbing up the walls

What goes on behind these doors

I'll keep mine and you keep yours

We all have our secrets, we all have our secrets

Later, a notification came through on the social media app on Kei's phone. This was highly unusual, since the only person he really talked online with was Yamaguchi, but it wasn't on this app. He instantly cringed when he opened the notification.

1 New Follower.

the_great_owl_king:

Ya know, my account is put on business mode so that I can see if V-league agents check out my crazy sick moves. I saw you in the views. Want some private pics?

Kei instantly blocked Bokuto's account, effectively forcing him to unfollow as well. Kei felt so embarrassed that he had been caught that he turned off his phone as well and tossed it onto his bed. He leaned forward in his chair, elbows on his knees as he dragged his fingers through his hair. He groaned in distaste, removing his glasses so he could wipe at his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose, practically feeling the headache start to surface.

He had been caught red-handed, elbow deep in the cookie jar with crumbs on his lips.

And if Bokuto knew, then there was no way he would keep it to himself. Kuroo and Akaashi would be informed as well and conclusions would be drawn. Kei had been looking for their profiles and he had no idea what excuse he could make to justify his actions.

Was there even justifying? Or was it really that weird?

He didn't know, but he couldn't think clearly.

Nothing was clear anymore, but was that because of the inability to draw logical conclusions, or did Kei just blatantly ignore evidence?

He stopped, shaking his head. He needed a serious distraction.

"Hey Kei, I bought a shortcake mix. Want to help me bake?" Akiteru popped his head in the room.

Shortcake.

That'll do it.

"God yes," Kei had never been out of his chair as fast, walking past his brother to the kitchen. Akiteru stared on at him with great question but had no complaints. He wasn't going to question Kei's eagerness – maybe he was having a craving? Whatever the case, he was happy to spend time with his sibling.

Then Summer Break came two weeks later and the team converged at the school grounds at Friday night – midnight.

"Oh man, oh man! Leaving in the dead of night is so exciting!" Hinata was hyped.

"Yeah, you guys sure were late last time..." Tanaka commented.

"Must be nice to be so simpleminded, being able to fall asleep anywhere and all that..." Kei shot at them, placing his hand over his mouth as he yawned.

"What'd you say?!" Kei was barely able to sleep in his own bed, never mind a bus. Hinata later gravitated towards Yamaguchi and Kei, which the later resented quite a lot. This was only because he and Kageyama hasn't spoken for weeks now, and now they refused to sit next to each other on the bus.

The trip was five hours long, and luckily the ginger had nodded odd fairly early so Kei didn't have to listen to his voice the entire trip. Kei had his headphones on the entire time and wore a sleeping mask. Although he didn't sleep, he still let his muscles rest. He knew it would be necessary.

When they arrived, just before 6AM, they were greeted by the Nekoma team at Shinzen High's school grounds.

"Where's the skytree?!"

"Uhm, the skytree?"

"Ah! Is that Tokyo Tower over there?!"

"Geh... eh, that's... that's just a normal steel tower..." the conversation between Hinata and Kenma had Kuroo turn to Daichi with question.

"What, don't you guys have steel towers in Miyagi? That conversation's giving me déjà vu,"

"The steel towers in Tokyo all look like the Tokyo Tower to us country folk, okay!" Daichi defended his team.

"Hey, that's rude. Also, this is Saitama," Sugawara walked up beside Daichi, the captain looking towards his vice with slight guilt written on his face.

"Ah, right. Sorry Suga," he scratched nervously at his neck. Kuroo watched their interaction with interest. He hummed, as if he knew something, and tapped his finger at his chin. Daichi shot him a look that clearly said 'don't say anything'. The cat slipped away from the parent crows and headed over to one of the baby crows.

Kei saw him coming and gave him a look that clearly said 'don't say anything'. Frankly, Kuroo felt offended by being shut down by the birds before he opened his mouth. He didn't care though.

"So what's with all the stalking business? And why did you block Kōtarō?" Kei said nothing to the devious cat and instead pulled out his phone. He opened the app and showed the notification tab to Kuroo. "Sorry. I sneezed and liked all your posts,"

"And commented 'hot stuff' on all my selfies?" Kuroo shrugged his shoulders.

"I had the flu," Kei just shook his head.

"Can we please stay off of each other's accounts? Would that be appropriate?" Kei rested a hand on his hip as he spoke.

"I think it would've been appropriate to not block my boyfriend,"

"That's the part you're upset about?"

"Well, yeah? I know we're all hot so I understand why you would look," he sounded so confident, giving a sly grin. Kei scoffed.

"That's quite the egotistical attitude you've got there,"

"It's called a personality, Barbra, and maybe you should get one," Kuroo spoke as if he was on overdramatic stereotypical teenage blonde, strutting out his hip and placing his hand on it – imitating Kei's form. Kei sneered and let his hand drop, standing up straight. He sometimes fell into the habit of sitting in his hip around other people to appear shorter. "What? No snarky comeback?"

"I would give you one, but I'm quite sure this school's insurance policy doesn't cover blown minds,"

"... that so lame,"

"I know. Not my finest work," Kei admitted. Kuroo huffed and headed closer, quickly clapping Kei on his shoulder before he could move away.

"You'll better show me your best work later then. We've got a week. Can't wait to get started, Barbra," he gave Kei a gentle smile, the firefly wanting to flinch away from their close proximity. Anything within a meter radius of Kei was just too close.

"Yeah. Can't wait, Karen," he replied sarcastically, disapproving look on his face.

"I'm a Karen? Dude, low blow,"

"Isn't that the only type of blows you get?" Kei walked past Kuroo, leaving the cat with a slack jaw.

When Kei heard their first match would be against Fukurōdani, he knew he wasn't going to get away without an intervention. When he saw the owl creep over, hair deflated with whimpering eyes, he sent back a pointed look and shook his head. Bokuto stopped his approach and deflated even more.

"Hey, what's that about?" Nishinoya questioned, having witnessed the silent communication between the two. Kei regarded the libero.

"Oh, he's probably upset that I blocked him,"

"...huh?" Nishinoya tilted his head in question, but Kei didn't give him anymore clarity.

Bokuto was off his game for the set, but Karasuno was even worse if possible. Kageyama's tosses were all over the place as he attempted the parabolic trajectory; Asahi's jump serve was always too strong or too short; the synchronous attack with Sugawara always ended with time lag issues; and Nishinoya nearly jumped into the net when he went to set.

"Oi, what's with them today? Are they alright??" Bokuto couldn't help himself but be amused at the chaos that was Karasuno, so much so that he got out of his slum.

His final spike that Bokuto gave to win the set was an exceptional one, but it was one that completely got through Kei's block.

The death penalties of running up the hill had Kei spent. He was exhausted and his muscles were protesting everything he did, and it was only day one. Their final run up the hill left the crows nesting into the grass, nearly too tired to pull themselves up.

"What a marvellous losing streak..." Sugawara commented.

"A truly refreshing one," Daichi added.

"I haven't run this much since old Coach Ukai was around..." Tanaka complained, face planted into the ground.

"Let's get another video on that synchronous attack!" Daichi hyped the two up, rising on to his feet.

"Yes!"

"I'll go work on hitting serves. I still have ways to go," Asahi mentioned, opting out of the synchronous practice. Yamaguchi heard Asahi's plans, thinking of his own serves and how far he wanted to go. He headed into the gym where Kei had gotten a towel to wipe his sweat off.

"Tsukki, I'm going to go work on my serves now, but what are you-,"

"I'm going to take a bath and go to bed," he answered abruptly, waving his hand dismissively.

"I see... uhm,"

"What?"

"I just thought you might... practice something on your own too, so..."

"I'm practicing enough to be sick of it already. I certainly hope you aren't saying I should work 'till I drop dead," Kei challenged him.

"You...you've got a point, but..." Yamaguchi shook off Kei's words and walked out, heading his own way. Kei looked back to his friend's receding form and frowned. Why, why did they have these expectations? Where were they coming from?

He left the first gym and headed to the residencies, some irritation in his step as he just wanted this day over and done with.

"Hey, Barbra!" Kei stopped with a sneer, looking towards the entrance of the third gym where Kuroo stood with a devilish smile. "Come block for us,"

"Sorry, Karen, but I'm done for today so please excuse me," he gave a curt bow at them.

"But there's no point to practising spikes if you've got nobody to block them against," Bokuto slid into his view, pushing his index fingers together as he spoke. His hair was deflated and he couldn't look Kei in the eye.

Ah. So he was still upset.

"Ask someone in Fukurōdani then," Kei shrugged his shoulders.

"His spiking practice is endless, so everyone runs away fairly quickly," Kei's eyes ran over the three figures in the doorway, thinking back to how all collective beauty of the three were merely captured in images, but now they were in front of him. Now, it was as if he was the cameraman and the three were expressing their love through volleyball.

"And I'm busy trying to get this runt up to level," Kuroo stepped aside to point at Lev, who was dying on the floor.

"But I said I'd block for you!" Lev screeched from his caterpillar form.

"Shut it. If you want to be a Nekoma regular, you'll get those receives to a higher level first!"

"Ugh, you're so mean, rooster head!"

"What did you call me?!"

"That's what mister Yaku calls you!"

"Yeah, but don't you listen to that lil' piece of shit!"

"...you can be quite terrifying," Kuroo sighed at his first year and turned back to Kei.

"Look, Kōtarō is excellent~ practice and besides, if you're a middle blocker, shouldn't you practice blocking a little bit more?" the look he shot Kei was one that clearly shot down and tore up all of Kei's blocking abilities. The blonde sneered, gripping the towel in his hand tighter.

Yeah, they really could piss him off.

He walked up to the gym, the three making way for him to enter. Bokuto's eyes were wide when Kei actually entered, quickly looking towards Kuroo to send him a thumbs up. Kuroo gave him a devilish chuckle in return. He headed off to deal with Lev, leaving Bokuto and Akaashi to handle Kei.

"Hey, if you're Barbra and he's Karen, then what am I?" Bokuto questioned from the opposite side of the net, pointing a finger at himself.

"Hmm... Britney,"

"Britney?! Why?!"

"Because you get easily offended,"

"He has a point there," Akaashi agreed, Bokuto turning to him with a slack jaw.

"Don't agree with him! I'm not a Britney!"

"You can be the Britney to my Spear any day, hot stuff!" Kuroo yelled from across the court, Bokuto looking away with a red tint on his cheeks.

"Shut up! Let's just do this practice!"

Blocking against Bokuto was more than just a challenge for Kei. Each time, the genius ace would be able to deflect it and work past his read blocking. Kei got frustrated as time went on, but he wasn't going to lose this battle now. The owl had thrown down the gauntlet and the firefly had picked it up.

"Hey, did you use that amazing spike just now?!" Bokuto turned to Akaashi with excitement when he got past Kei's bloack for a straight shot.

"You are amazing. You beat a single blocker," Akaashi gave him a deadpan stare.

"Shut up!"

"Then I'll join too," Kuroo stepped up. Kei looked past him to see Lev's corpse on the floor.

Just how hard did Kuroo push him?

"Alright, let's go!" Kuroo gave Kei advice during the play but at the end, Kuroo completely blocked out Bokuto's spike. He hollered in success, the owl sneering at his own failure.

"But you know, it's just like I thought, mister Glasses. You're good at the 'reading' part but your blocks sure are weak," Kei was triggered. "I'd be worried about breaking my arm or something like that. You've gotta stop the ball with a bam, bam! Something like that!" Bokuto spoke, holding his chin as he thought.

"I'm still young and developing, you see. My physical strength and height still have ways to go~," Bokuto growled at Kei's attack at their height difference.

"You better stop dragging your feet there or the carrot top will take all of the spotlight for himself. You play the same position, don't you?" Kuroo shot at him, wanting to rile up the blonde even further.

It had the opposite reaction though.

Kei got deathly quiet, turning his back on them to hide his face. He snickered after a moment and turned his head to look at them.

"Uhm, yeah, I don't think there's much I can do about that. I mean, let's be honest, there's a big difference in potential between Hinata and me," he said it with a smile, hand resting behind his neck as he spoke.

Kuroo furrowed his brows at Kei's words.

"Ah! You're still practising? Do you need blockers? I'll block!" other members began to pile into the gym.

"Come on Lev. Stop lazing around and get to those receives!"

"GAhH! Yaku!"

"It seems I've been relieved of my duty then. If you'll excuse me," Kei quickly spoke, his feet already dragging himself out of the gym.

"Hey, hold on..."

"I think you struck a nerve," Kuroo turned to look at Akaashi who's eyes were trained on the receding form of the blonde.

"Seems like you pissed him off. Come on, thought you were getting somewhere with him," Bokuto spoke.

"Yeah, well, I didn't know he'd be like that," Kuroo scratched at his neck.

"Like what?"

"Well, the carrot top is a menace and he's short, and although he lacks experience and technique, he's a serious threat. Now Tsukishima has both the height and the brains and definitely the potential to be amazing but he doesn't look at the shorty as an equal, but as someone he couldn't possibly match.

He's... this must be what Daichi was talking about,"

"So, what do we do?" Kuroo was surprised to hear Akaashi chime in.

"I... don't think this has anything to do with us," Kuroo furrowed his brows. Akaashi only hummed at that.

"Try and get him to come every night," Akaashi left that sentence in the air before heading over to the others inside the gym to discuss practice. Bokuto looked to Kuroo with question.

"So... do you think he's ever going to unblock me?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't get my hopes up," Bokuto deflated.

You were always faster than me

I'll never catch up with you, with you

Oh I can feel them coming for me

Kei's fist clenched as he retrieved his forgotten knee braces from the first gym, seeing the rest of Karasuno with their personal practice. His golden-brown eyes caught sight of the ginger hair and his muscles tensed up. It was even worse to see Yamaguchi put so much effort in, because he knew.

Yamaguchi knew exactly how much this fucking game can hurt a person.

He had been there to witness the death of Kei's hope, after all.

The second day was just as bad the first, every set resulting in a huge loss. The hill became Kei's nightmare, and by lunchtime, he felt like he wanted to quit.

"Hey, we've got watermelon!" but at least there was a break time.

Hinata drifted towards Kenma, the two enjoying the off time together. Lev imposed on them, wanting to escape from Yaku. Kei had been satisfied after a single piece and headed off on his own to stray away from the rest. Kuroo spotted the blonde walk off and wondered to himself. He headed over to where some of Karasuno sat – Daichi, Asahi and Tanaka.

"Hey dude, sorry," Daichi looked up in question.

"For what?"

"I think I pissed off Tsukishima,"

"What how?" Kuroo sat himself down and told them what had happened. All of them seemed surprised to hear that Kei would even train with them.

"But so what, you said something to him?"

"I said he'd end up losing to your shorty," Kuroo admitted.

"There has definitely been times when Tsukishima came across as feeling inferior to Hinata," Asahi recalled a conversation he had shared with Kei, all about how he felt like he just needed to hold down the fort when Hinata was rotated out. Tanaka and Daichi were surprised to hear this.

"I don't know if it's relevant or not, but my sister said there was a Tsukishima on the volleyball team the same time the Little Giant was playing," the third years' eyes bulged.

"Wait, what? Tsukishima's brother was on that team?"

"Well, it could just be a coincidence, though,"

"Hey, we're starting soon again!" Sugawara headed to inform them. Everyone quickly scrambled, the conversation now void in their minds.

A few hours later, on one of the runs up the hill, Kei lost to Yamaguchi.

"See you later, then," Kei couldn't run anymore. He didn't want to do it anymore.

He got talking with Asahi, trying to see if they were on the same wavelength when it came to Hinata – that they were both just in positions for Hinata to dig his fangs into and take for himself.

But Asahi didn't want to loose.

Not to Hinata.

Kei was alone.

Kageyama immediately called Kei out whenever he was slacking, but there came a point where Kei was too tired and too used to it to even give a usual witty comment. Couch Ukai and Takeda were starting to notice the problem that was Tsukishima Kei, more specifically, how he had to keep himself irreplaceable for the team. If the others began to outplay him, he might never catch up to a regular again.

Hinata acknowledged an ace's ball.

Asahi won.

Kei clenched his fist.

Kei shut down Bokuto's advances to practice before he could even probably ask and Hinata, having overheard it all, was immediately on the case. He was shut down just as fast and he angry ginger could only head over to Yamaguchi to vent.

"There's nothing I can say to Tsukishima, because I don't even know if he likes volleyball," Hinata's words rung within Yamaguchi.

"Tsukki probably doesn't hate volleyball, otherwise, he wouldn't have come to Karasuno," Kuroo overheard the conversation as he headed out of the gym, thinking back to the conversation he had earlier with Daichi and the other Karasuno players.

His brother had been at Karasuno, on the volleyball team.

Was this about him? About the brother, if there even was one?

So, family drama was mixed into it then.

Kuroo clenched his fist. Family drama. That was a familiar thing.

Yamaguchi thought back at that day, the day that robbed Kei of his passion.

Pathetic: that was the word that Kei had directed at him when they first met. He hadn't been able to stand up to his bullies, and Kei thought his lack of fighting spirit was pathetic. Thinking back on it, he was glad. He had been pathetic, and that was what gave him fighting spirit.

Pathetic: that was the word Kei used when he saw his brother across the court, the betrayal finally showing its shadowy face. He had been lied to for three years. Three years that his brother told him stories of matches he didn't play in and popularity he didn't gain. Three years of him looking up to an honest role model. Well, honesty was a brittle thing, apparently.

As was trust.

His brother's desperate nature... was pathetic.

Pathetic: the word Yamaguchi knew Kei had directed at himself, having fallen for his brother's lies.

Pathetic...

Here's the pride before the fall

Oh your eyes they show it all

I can see it coming, I can see it coming

"TSUKKIII!" Kei was absolutely shocked to see him running up, already thinking how out of character this was for him. "Ever since we've been kids, you've dealt with everything in such a smart and cool way... I was jealous," Yamaguchi admitted, trying to regain his breath.

Kei turned, his brows furrowed.

"And? What's your point?"

Yamaguchi was triggered.

"The way you've been lately..." he took a deep breath, summoning up all the frustration he's been keeping under wraps all. This. Time. "Is really pathetic!!"

Kei stopped breathing.

"Hinata just might just become a 'small giant' some day, but even if that happens, you could still beat him!! Why not use your skills to prove that you're a more incredible player then he is? Even though you have height, brains and intuition; so why do you always set limits for yourself? Why?!"

"...Fine. Let's say I put in an incredible amount of effort and I become the best player at Karasuno, then what? On the off chance we go to Nationals, then what? There's always another level, another person waiting to take us down. No matter how good you get, you can never be number one, so what's the point? Eventually you'll lose! Why do you guys keep pushing? What reason is there? Where does all this motivation come from? Why does it even matter?"

Yamaguchi leapt forward, his fingers digging into Kei's shirt and pushed him onto the hard concrete.

"What else do we need besides pride?!"

For a moment, a very long moment, Kei wasn't present. His mind was somewhere else, running through the words over and over again.

Pride.

"I'd never thought I'd see the day..." Yamaguchi's eyes went wide and he jumped off Kei, taking wavering steps back. Kei rose up from the ground. He smiled to himself, his teeth even shining.

Yamaguchi was shook.

Whatever the reason behind them, just now, Yamaguchi's words were far cooler than my endless obsession.

"That was so cool," Yamaguchi's eyes went wide. "Still... I don't know. I'm going to go ask," and he turned around, clear goal in his mind as he walked off.

"Tsukki?? Where are you going?" but he didn't follow. His burst of courage from a moment ago had died out and now he just hoped that he got across what he wanted to convey.

Kei wanted to know how they did it. He wanted to hear their opinions. He needed to know how they felt.

His feet carried him to where he knew they would be, to where they were lying in wait.

The third gym.