Like a man possessed, I spent the day pouring over any newspaper, both old and new, that I could get my hands on, trying to discover the particulars of how things played with the end of the Second Wizarding War, all while avoiding the unwanted attention of obnoxiously optimistic healers, who buzzed in and out of my room unannounced every few hours.

     Newspaper headlines said things like, "Shacklebolt Appointed Minister of Magic", "Death Eaters Still at Large - 6 DEAD." and my least favorite, "Snape Lives - Granger's Sanity Questioned."

     The only good part of that unpleasant article was, "When Granger had been asked why she would bother to save Albus Dumbledore's murderer and known Death Eater, her comment had been, 'Severus Snape is a hero. A hero that had hard choices to make in order to ensure everyone's safety, to protect the Wizarding world and help Harry Potter defeat Voldemort.'"

     I'd read over that one several times because even though I was very much alive, I still couldn't believe that she'd saved my life. And that she's actually going to attempt to keep me from being hauled off to spend my remaining days in Azkaban Prison.

     There'd been dozens of similar articles and I'd grown bored of reading the same thing over and over again, so when Narcissa Malfoy breezed into my room, carrying a few shopping bags, I was ready for the distraction.

     "Oh my goodness! You look dreadful in that awful cotton thing!" the fashion conscious woman exclaimed in horror and pulled something black from one of her many bags and thrust it at me. "Put this on and you'll not only look like new, but feel that," her blue eyes sparkled happily as she pet the intricately embroidered cloth lovingly. "Silk makes your body feel new too, or just really good."

     "Narcissa," I greeted in my usual fashion, a slight smile tugged at my lips at her excitement. I held the luxurious black cloth in my hand and tried not to enjoy the feel of it in front of her too much. Last time I let her know I liked a piece of clothing, she and Draco insisted on making Lucius and I go shopping in Paris for the better part of a week. No way I planned on ever allowing that to happen again. I detest shopping.

     "Thank you." I moved into the adjacent bathroom and quickly slid the new robes on, resisting the urge to act like a female by petting it as well.

     By the time I'd come back she'd already magicked my room and I had new dark grey sheets, extra pillows and a blanket that were just settling themselves onto my bed. It was looking more like one of the less used guest rooms at Malfoy Manor - very nice.

     Sliding back into the now luxurious bed, I did my best not to wiggle my feet or run my palms over the high-quality cloth. I'd wait until the observant blonde left before I did.

     I inhaled deeply when catching the light notes of my favored blend of tea from Malfoy Apothecary. There was a cup and saucer with a newly steeping pot on the bed table and sitting next to it was a large stack of books with embossed wording that I ran light fingertips over.

     "I figured you'd need something to keep from going insane here with all the..." she looked me dead in the eye and straight-faced said, "punch-drunk employees running about."

     Unable to help myself, I burst out laughing at her astute observations, "I'd concluded there's something tainting the water here."

     We laughed for a few moments before she did the unexpected, and hugged me. I don't know if I was more surprised by her doing it or me wrapping my arms around her and finding that I was comfortable holding my long-time friend's wife so closely.

     Her smaller frame began shaking and I knew she was crying. I hated such a wasted bodily response, but I'd guessed she'd been feeling alone without her husband at her side.

     "No word from Lucius?" I'd read in the Prophet that he was back in Azkaban and there wasn't a chance of him getting released anytime soon.

     "Not yet." she sniffled.

     "And Draco?"

     "He moved out." She shuddered again.

     "His reason?"

     "He needed space to process things and Severus," she pulled herself upright and looked at me, "he's gone to so many funerals alone, not allowing me to go with him. I'm so worried."

     I nodded, "You should be, he's a teenager."

     Slapping my shoulder lightly, she chuckled, "I was being serious."

     I pulled a tissue from a nearby box and dabbed at her tears before giving it to her to use as needed, "You think I jest?"

     Her laughter was light, and I took a moment to enjoy the sound of it, feeling happy about being reunited with a friend. "I still have no idea how you've never married; you're so kind and good Severus."

     I quirked an eyebrow, "Don't say such things, it'll ruin my evil reputation."

     We laughed a little more before inquiring, "How are you really doing?"

     She looked forlorn, and I noticed little dark patches under her eyes along with new small lines of worry and stress etched across her otherwise flawless face.

     "Draco lovingly insisted I see a head doctor to help keep me sane. I've been using potions to sleep, but I'm exhausted and cry at the drop of a hat - it's irritating." She dabbed at her face and straightened her multilayered black clothing.

     "I expect you'll be fine given enough time, so will Draco - he's resilient."

     "I hope so. I don't even want to think about Lucius because I feel guilty," she sighed heavily. "I miss him terribly, but even I know he deserves to be in Azkaban for what he did."

     I couldn't blame her for feeling that way but, "Neither of us wanted Voldemort to return, and because he did, everyone had to make hard choices. Lucius's was easy." I looked her in the eye, "Keeping you and Draco as safe as possible."

     She nodded in agreement before bursting into tears again, and I held her hand. And as I did, I realized I'd just said to her what Hermione Granger told about me in the newspaper article. I smiled a little realizing that the Know-it-all actually understood, not only knew about my choices but really understood why I'd had to do them, and I could feel my body completely relax for the first time, not having known it had been wound up so tight.

     Narcissa began collecting her composure as I spoke up, "Knowing Lucius as we do, he'll find or make a deal of some sort and get released before you know it."

     She chuckled before changing the subject. "You know, I expected that you'd have contacted me yourself. It's a good thing that you have Miss. Granger to look after you while you get back on your feet." A strange mischievous glimmer lit her eyes, "You simply must tell me how that occurred."

     I shook my head, trying to ignore the flavor of strawberries on my tongue that seemed to appear every time I thought about Hermione Granger, or whenever she was mentioned. "Extraordinary circumstances."

     "Is it true that she'd kept you from dying while the war raged on and brought you to St. Mungo's by herself afterward?" She looked unsure if a mudblood would be able to perform such a feat.

     "Hermione Granger's brilliance is something I've come to respect over the years. Now..." I shook my head and popped my fisted hands open above my head, to show my mind being blown by the whole situation.

     Narcissa looked me over carefully, "Are you going to interrogate her?"

     "Yes!" I gave her a confused look for asking a first-year level question, "I've been going over all the details, and none of it makes sense to me. There has to be more to it than a potion and a simple spell." I looked off into the distance, getting lost in chemical compositions and the reactions they have in the body for the hundredth time today.

     "Severus," Narcissa had moved into my direct line of sight and smiled when I refocused on her.

     "Sorry," I shrugged, knowing she didn't mind too much since she was used to me doing that when I got caught up in my thoughts - a common occurrence.

     "When will you see her again?"

     "Two days." I realized that the amount of time was relatively short, but the last twenty-four hours have been excruciatingly sluggish to my overactive mind.

     She tried not to laugh, "You've been obsessing over your rescue, haven't you?"

     I nodded. It was true that I had been obsessive, but it was more about the fact that I'd somehow connected with Granger mentally when I was delusional from the venom. I remember experiencing her feelings at being bullied by Pansy Parkinson, and worse, the torture she'd undergone at Bellatrix's cruel hand's. Not to mention the old painful memories that I wondered if she'd experienced as I'd seemed to have done with hers, and I did believe that what I saw during that time was a real memory.

     I've no idea how that happened but suspected my ability to perform legilimency was somehow to blame. I'd be sure to research this if I become a free man, as things stood I had two Auror's guarding my room, and I couldn't go anywhere without them. Not that I'd tried - yet.

     I'd contemplated asking her about it, but the more I considered it, the more uncomfortable I'd become. However, my incessant need to understand, categorize, or define things neatly in my mind would eat away at me.

     Narcissa and I spent another hour talking over what had transpired after the war, what she was doing to stay busy and even made plans for a celebratory lunch once I was cleared of my charges. I was tired by the time she'd closed the door behind her exit, but happy to have had the company.

     Two days later and a little after lunch, I'd just set down the newspaper in satisfaction at the newest headline, "Another Death Eater - Eats It." and took a celebratory sip of my tea.

     There was a subtle hint of lilies floating in the air, and my heart rate picked up as flashes of our shared memories suddenly ghosted into my mind along with all the emotions I'd experienced. I sipped a little more tea before carefully setting the cup down while taking a few calming breaths.

     My gaze slid to the open doorway and was greeted with long, creamy, nicely toned legs running into a short black skirt that was making me hyper-aware of my mouth, as well as other hidden body parts.

     By the time my gaze made up the enticing body to her velvet-chocolate eyes, I'd realized how good it was to be alive, just so I could experience such intense desire again. I felt a tug at the corner of my mouth, loving the sensations running rampant through me and the cute flush coloring her face spoke volumes - she liked the way I was looking at her, and I was more than happy to oblige.

     "Miss Granger..." I nodded at her in greeting, "...It's good to see you."

     "Severus," her smile grew as she made her way to my bedside. "You look..." her eyes running over me was making me feel, "...really good."

     "Thanks to you." The way her eyes were caressing me was definitely making me feel more attractive than I had in years.

     "No, the healers here-..." I held up my hand and cut her off.

     "Told me that I live because of you," I smiled a little. "I'd never get better without that significant bit of help."

     "You're welcome." She set her hand on my arm and shots of electricity bolted through me.

     "Honestly, Severus, I don't even know where to start thanking you for all you did."

     "The safety of..." I'd never noticed the gentle slant of her nose, the curve of her eyebrows and the way they enhanced her words. "...everyone was worth my sacrifices."

     "Right, but you're feeling better or at least look it. I mean, your color has returned, and you've no fever." She'd placed her warm hand on my forehead and froze. "Sorry," she pulled away while flushing a deeper shade of red.

     "I was informed that you've been here two or three times a week to check on me. I understand you're..." The fullness of her lips were begging me to taste them - I cleared my throat and struggled slightly to swallow as I tried to keep from going further down that rabbit hole, "...investment in me."

     We stared at each other for a while before she cleared her throat, pulling away and retrieving a few scrolls out of her satchel.

     "Right, so let's get to the business at hand. Once the Ministry was made aware of you waking up and being capable of speaking, your impending charges were instantly made public, and your hearing is set for four days time."

     "Must please the public," I sighed knowing the Ministry was doing as they were supposed to be doing but hating it was me in the line of fire.

     "I've convinced Shacklebolt to keep you at St. Mungo's instead of being transferred to the Ministry's less pleasant accommodations, to wait for your hearing." She shivered, and I could imagine the cold, concrete cells she was referring to, having been to the ministry many times over the years for various activities.

     "Thank you!" I didn't realize how busy she'd been with all this but knew I was going to be saying a lot of thank you's to her.

     "You've quite a laundry list of charges, but the good part about all of this is it was decided to hold a public hearing, and once everyone knows your motives by viewing the memory that you gave to Harry, you should be cleared and get to go home."

     "What!?" I couldn't have heard her correctly.

     "Severus, I know you had a lot of very personal things in there, but it's irrefutable evidence of your motives. It even shows Dumbledore telling you to..." she lifted her hands, not wanting to finish the sentence but continued to plead with me, using her chocolate-eyes.

     "You've seen it?" I'd already figured as much but had hoped to keep it somewhat private since I'd managed to evade death, it would've been nice to do the same with humiliation.

     She seemed unsure, "Well, you see..." I held up my hand to stop her.

     "Don't handle me as you'd do with Potter or Weasley - it's insulting. If I were to venture a guess, you viewed it the same time Harry did or soon thereafter." I cocked a brow at her daring her to say otherwise.

     She took a deep breath to speak before puffing her cheeks out a little and then seemed to deflate like a balloon, "Yes, I did."

     I nodded already knowing I was right, but having way too much fun watching her constipated facial expressions, as she struggled between telling me the truth or a stretched one.

     "Well then," I held her now wavering gaze, "As you're my counsel, I'll ask, is allowing my life to be made a public spectacle the best way to keep me out of Azkaban?" An uncomfortable chill ran over my skin, making me shudder at the idea of my deepest feelings being made into something to gossip over.

     "Severus," she spoke so matter of fact that I believed her, "You were vital to the war and once people see that through your memory, it would be illogical to place you behind bars."

     I continued to study her face, absorbing the confidence she was radiating while waiting for her to proceed with a lecture that never came. I really hated this idea but could see why it was the best option and most likely the easiest.

     Sighing heavily, "Let's hope the Wizengamot feels the same as you."

     Her smile at my concession elicited one from me. "You mean, as Harry, the Order and dozens of others. We know what you sacrificed Severus... and also how many lives were saved due to your heroics."

     I scoffed at her use of the word hero and associating it with me; then I recalled her same comment in the article I'd read. I wasn't sure what to say to something so flattering and ridiculous, so instead, I said, "Was there anything you feel I need to prepare for?"

     "I don't believe so." She kept running her eyes over me but wouldn't meet my gaze, and I wondered what her brilliant mind was working away at now. "Here." She handed me the parchment, and I quickly unrolled it, "So you can look everything over yourself."

     My heart squeezed painfully as I read Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, my long-time friend, mentor, and the action I had no choice but take. I could feel her eyes on me, not judgmental but uncomfortable nonetheless. I finished with the parchment, rolling it and waving it a little, "May I hold on to this?"

     "I made that copy for you."

     I took a few breaths not wanting to think of Albus, so I studied Grangers warm, kind eyes before letting them wander over her again.

     Butterscotch tendrils had escaped the complicated looking twists her hair was sculpted into on the back of her head, and every now and again she'd try smoothing it into place. She was losing the battle, but I was soothed by watching her small, nimble fingers twist the freed strands together before trying to get it to stay hooked behind her ear.

     "What are you planning on doing with yourself, Miss Granger? When you finish with me, that is." I tried changing the subject.

     Her chocolate eyes snapped to mine, warming up as she looked me over. "When I'm done with you," her lips pulled into a cute smile, "I plan to help in the unjust and immoral treatment of house-elves and will be heading an initiative to further counteract the unfair living conditions that they're forced to endure."

     Her eyes continued growing brighter as she spoke, "Once I accomplish that, I can see a need to help other beings." She shrugged a little. "As far as a career, I plan on finding employment within the Ministry, possibly the Wizengamot. But admittedly, I've no idea what I want to do for sure, and my only plans had ever been to graduate, top of the class, from Hogwarts having absorbed as much knowledge and know-how from the experience as I could." She shrugged again, "That way, I'd have more than one door to walk through once I've decided where to stick it."

     "Good plan. They'd be lucky to have you in any capacity." I'm positive Granger would be a skilled arbitrator, and her passion piqued my curiosity on what she planned on doing, but I could care less about house-elves. I've never felt the need to have one and didn't like the idea of something that looked like that going through my underclothing, or worse my potions lab.

     "Actually, I'm very disappointed that I won't be able to return to Hogwarts to finish my education." She looked forlorn, "I hate leaving things incomplete."

     I sympathized and could easily see how an incomplete education would be pure torment for her since she was an over-achiever. Grangers assignments were always flawless, more than I'd required and turned in early; which had irritated me because I derived pleasure in picking on the smartest mind in class so the rest of the dunderheads would realize I wasn't messing around with their education. Also, it was fun telling know-it-alls they're wrong.

     "It would drive me crazy as well, but..." I endeavored to cheer her up, "...I'm sure Minerva McGonagall will be appointed as Headmistress, and she'll get Hogwarts back in shape before the new school year."

     "You think they'd allow me to return?" Hope burned in her eyes, and I was compelled to immediately apparate to Hogwarts to do everything I could to get it reconstructed and somehow ensure her return, just so I could fulfill her desire.

     "Yes." She smiled brightly at me.

      "McGonagall is brilliant and would be a logical choice as Headmaster," she stated, and her gaze came back to me. "Did you hurt a lot of students when..." her face scrunched up uncomfortably.

     "I did my best to keep a distance," I huffed out a bit. "I was watched like a hawk at that point due to the paranoia that was running rampant, and no one liked how much trust Voldemort had instilled in me."

     I found a piece of lint on my bed sheet to fiddle with as pain filled screams from students sounded in my head. "There were rules that I derived no pleasure in enforcing, but I had to keep a certain level of vileness," I waved my hands around in an attempt to bush the guilt I felt away.

     She was nodding, "I don't like it any more than you, but I understand the need. Neville did tell us you were rarely seen around the school unless there was a major announcement. What were you doing?"

     "Errand boy for the Dark Lord," I stated sourly. "All the while, I'd try to find anything concerning the Horcruxes so I could covertly put them in Harry's path - like the Sword of Godric Gryffindor."

     "Right," she smiled a little. "Did you really need to place it at the bottom of a frozen lake for Harry to fetch?"

     I couldn't help but smile a little and shrug, "Just ensuring he wasn't losing his will to finish the battle."

     Laughter erupted from her, "I can assure you it wasn't funny at the time, but looking back has its advantages," she nodded while continuing in her fit of laughter. "Your sense of humor is a bit dark but entertaining Severus."

     I shrugged, "I chose to surround myself with young easily-spooked minds, entertainment must be found wherever it presented itself."

     "You're not what I thought you'd be like outside of school."

     I cocked my head, "Meaning?"

     "You're nicer and more relaxed than I thought you'd be." I kept quiet and waited for her to go on. "Well, I only meant that you seem less..." she waved her arms in search of words. I rubbed at my lower lip so she couldn't see me struggling to not smile at her and cocked an eyebrow to further fluster her as she muddled along. "...scary."

     "Did I really scare you, Hermione?" I enjoyed saying her name, and she was looking at my lips with an intensity that caught my curiosity about her newest thoughts.

     "Yes, you're very intimidating to just about everyone I know... except maybe some of the Slytherins."

     "Good," I chuckled when she scowled at me.

     "How can you think that's good? You have to want people to like you."

     "Fear was an extra layer of cover for me, especially yours and Mr. Weasley's since you're friends with Harry." I was a little disgruntled by the comment about people liking me, so I added, "Just so you know, I have friends and even had girlfriends in the past, contrary to what most people would believe."

     "You've had girlfriends?" she choked out. Her wide eyes were almost comical, but my ego was a little bruised at her obvious shock and disbelief.

     I closed my eyes, shaking my head while debating if I should dive further into this particular type of conversation with her.

     I'm not an emotionless zombie nor some spring chicken. I'd had several relationships and had once come close to thinking I might have fallen in love with the charismatic red-head Zofia from forever ago, but I'd held back. She moved away for a chance to be her own boss, and eventually, we grew apart.

     My eyes snapped to hers, and I tried to sidestep a little, "Yes, just as you've had boyfriends."

     She sucked in a breath and looked away guiltily, "Of course you have, your attractive and brilliant, I'd just never thought about it much till recently." She looked me in the eyes again, "Sorry."

     My eyes wandered over her again as her flattering words sank in, making my ego feel significantly better, and I suddenly asked before realizing it, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

     She smiled beautifully and nodded, "Yes, Ronald and I have become an item." My heart squeezed painfully in my chest.

     "Weasley?" I did my best to swallow the bile in my throat as jealousy filled me to the brim.

     She nodded.

     "Why?" I hope I didn't sound as disgusted as I obviously was.

     She was intensely studying me before answering, "He's consistent, I like knowing what to expect from him, and he's kind, loyal, and we've been through hell and back together."

     "Sounds like a good friend or a loyal dog."

     She rolled her eyes, "Ronald's..."

     "They're good qualities, but I would want more than that... such as intelligence..." She scoffed. "But more importantly," looking at her, I felt the stirrings of wanting this from her specifically, "to be so caught up in each other nothing else matters, to have your skin burn with the desire to be caressed when being looked at by the other, to work so fluidly together that it's as if you're one mind and soul." I gave her a small smile, "Maybe I'm delusional in thinking that you need passion more than loyalty to keep the flame of a relationship burning brightly."

     She flushed and spent a few moments in silence before abruptly changing the subject, "What do you think you might do with yourself after your charges are dropped?"

     I realized my line of thinking was getting further out of hand than I'd allowed myself to go in years and I was relieved at the change of subjects, "I hadn't thought about it too much since I wasn't sure if I'd be in Azkaban or not."

     She smiled warmly, "Well, you'll have a future to plan for, I'm positive. Perhaps the Ministry could use your help as an Auror or something along those lines. Your knowledge of potions and the dark arts make you perfect for such a position."

     "I'd read in the prophet that there were quite a few Death Eaters still at large. I don't like the idea that they're still polluting the atmosphere by breathing."

     Granger chuckled, "I would hate to be chased down by the likes of you."

     "Don't give me a need to." Her eyes met mine, and she sucked in a small breath that drew my eyes to her soft rosy lips. I shook away the wayward thoughts and decided to ask,

     I glanced around for a moment before noticing an hour had already passed, "I wouldn't want to keep you from your other obligations."

     "It wouldn't hurt my feelings but..." she sighed heavily. "...I'm going with Molly Weasley down to the cemetery in a little over twenty minutes, then I have other obligations."

     "The cemetery?"

     She shook her head and looked me deeply in the eye, "Molly wants to visit Fred's resting place to give it a little cleaning, and I didn't want her to go alone." Her voice shook slightly, and I could see tears forming in her eyes.

     The twin, that's right. "My sympathies. Please let Arthur and Molly know how sorry I am to hear of their loss."

     "Sorry, I thought I was passed crying." I was tempted to hold her close and let her cry, wiping away the tears racing down her face, but offered a tissue instead.

     I don't like seeing her cry, it was making me incredibly uncomfortable, and looking at her was already making me feel and think things I don't usually waste my time on. So I looked away, having decided to give her a few moments to straighten herself up when a small sucking-pop sound drew my eyes and at the same time could smell strawberries. My mouth went dry when I saw her running a little red plastic tube over her lips.

     When she'd finished, she realized I was staring at her and cocked an eyebrow.

     "Chapstick?" My pulse picked up as I looked at her lips again and had a flash of cupping her face and pulling her to me... I swallowed hard, feeling overheated, and lightheaded.

     She'd giggled as I'd stared at her lips and became acutely aware of everything in the room — especially the blood that had involuntarily pooled in my now aching erection.

     "Yes, strawberry Lip Smackers, my favorite," She was searching my face with her velvety-brown eyes.

     I sucked in a sharp breath and tried playing it off as a yawn even though I'd almost choked on my heart that was now pounding against my ribcage like a caged beast trying to get out.

     I'd kissed her - and forgot! How could I have forgotten such a thing? Actually, how could I have done something so stupid in the first place? 

     FUCK!

     Wait, I was dying, maybe there's another explanation. My mind ran away with all the possibilities as I tried not to panic.

     She noticed my cue and started gathering her things, "You look a little overwhelmed..."

     NO SHIT! 

     Her eyes ran over me and I silently thanked Merlin that she had no idea how to read my mind.

     "...And I really need to be going." She stood and walked towards the door before turning and looking me in the eye. "I know you'll be set free and I'm forever grateful to you for everything you did to help. However, I believe your life will become more complicated than it was as a double-agent."

     I quirked an eyebrow at her and focused on breathing correctly, "How so?"

     She smiled and blushed slightly, which only added to my growing discomfort.

     "I found your love of Lily and your undying loyalty to her, something I'd give almost anything to experience," her eyes looked me over. "I don't know of too many women who wouldn't want to be with you once your story's made the front page, which it will."

     Before I could process everything she'd said and have the chance to respond, she'd already left.

     The light scent of lilies floated in the room, like an aphrodisiac, for hours after she'd gone. It was making me more and more curious about the memory's I'd seen - and how deep our connection really was.