Panic surged through me as my eyes uselessly searched the pitch black space. I couldn't move and was wrapped in cold as if Grawp was holding me grasped in his large fist.

     "Mione!" Ron's panicked voice echoed loudly.

     "Ron!?" I yelled.

     My muscles strained and shook with my effort to break free and the crazy paced pounding of my heart was making me feel lightheaded.

     "Run Mione! Run!"

     The black started taking the shape of three silhouettes standing in a line before me.

     The one in the middle stepped forward, slowly closing the distance between us. My mind was echoing Ron's fearful screams, as I pushed against the cold grasp again.

     Bellatrix Lestrange's unnerving voice screeched, "You filthy Mudblood!"

      Her deathly pale face and vacant black eyes sent ice through my veins, freezing me in place. I couldn't feel the air getting into my lungs, making me dizzy as I focused on slowly breathing in and out.

     "Mione, run!" The figure on the right started waving its arms frantically before turning and bolting in the opposite direction. What I now knew to be Ron's black silhouette, was growing smaller and smaller before finally vanishing.

      Bellatrix was less than ten feet from me before lifting her wand, shooting arcs of lightning across the distance, piercing me like thousands of daggers, then burning along all my nerves.

      When the torment eased, the waxen, haunting face was a foot away. An eerie brown mist left her mouth, and I could smell the rot and decay from it. My eyes watered as the noxious fumes burnt my nose, all the way down into my lungs - suffocating me. I turned my head this way and that, desperately trying not to breathe any of it, but it was surrounding me, and I started uncontrollably gagging.

      "Little Won-Won isn't here anymore," she gleefully chuckled. "Time to clean up and get rid of the filthy Mudblood."

     Grawp's cold grip squeezed hard once again, and I feared my bones would break under the extreme pressure.

     I desperately tried to suck in enough air without gagging, so I could beg the crazed witch for my life, as the third figure started running towards the two of us with a raised wand.

     "No!" Severus's voice boomed out as bright green light filled my vision.

     Strong, soothing arms wrapped around me as I blindly clung to his large body. All the fear I'd felt only moments ago were replaced with the desire to be melded together with him.

     As if he'd suddenly turned to smoke, Severus disappeared from my arms, and I found myself naked, laying on velvet soft grass, in the middle of a meadow. The night sky twinkled brilliantly as a warm sultry breeze, danced across my skin.

     Gentle fingers began working their way up the inside of my legs, goose-bumping my whole body in excitement. The smell of peppermint and clove started filling the air, and my breath kept catching at the sensations now flooding through me as his fingers continued, setting my nerves on fire.

     Lifting my head, I watched his long black hair swoop down, and he kissed the inside of my thigh. The newly moist spot was happily burning having received such attention, and the rest of me squirmed, needing him to administer more.

     "Severus. Please," I begged as the heat between my thighs ached with the desire to have him hilt deep in me.

     He lifted his head just enough to give me a mischievous smile, making me shudder in anticipation of what he had in mind.

     His large hands had worked their way to my hips to glide slowly along the sides of my body. He kissed my stomach several times before making a moist trail up to my right nipple with his long, silky-soft tongue.

     I sucked in a sharp breath as he nibbled and sucked, hardening my nipple before doing the same to the other one. The fullness of my breasts ached with the need for more of him, and I arched my back in pleasure as he sucked and circled his tongue around a few more times before kissing his way to my neck.

     Warm lips laid a kiss on the tip of my chin, and minty breath caressed my face, making my mouth feel the need to possess his.

     Shuddering in ecstasy as his warm, naked body pressed against me, sizzling on top of mine. I nearly cried in relief as he lowered his head to kiss me.

     "Hermione, wake up!" Ginny hollered as she shook me from my dream.

     "FU - DGE!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I grabbed my pillow and put it over my face, so I could properly curse without my reputation as a goody-goody being tarnished.

     That was the exact same recurring dream I'd had since my visit to Severus's house before school started and it always ended in the same physically frustrating spot. It left me beyond irritable for the majority of the morning because I'd wake up incredibly horny and I refused to use Ron that way anymore.

     To be honest, I didn't mind being abandoned by Ron and tortured by Bellatrix in my dream because the reward of Severus doing everything he does was well worth it, but I really, really wanted to kiss him again and keep going. Merlin, I wanted to keep going!

     I rolled over, huffing loudly about my disappointment and glared at Ginny just for being in my line of sight.

     "What is with you?" she asked, concern etched across her pretty face.

     "Just classes and an essay I need to finish up," I lied knowing that telling her the truth wouldn't be helpful in any way.

     I drug myself from the warm bed and yanked my clothes from the dresser drawer before stomping into the bathroom for my morning shower.

     Breakfast was the same as it had been every day. I would read the Prophet and cringe as I watched Ronald eat enough food to feed all the Weasley's.

     Harry's bright green eyes were always locked on the Slytherin table, and he'd pretend that he wasn't interested in snogging the supposedly, newly reformed Draco Malfoy. I wasn't sure how I felt about that idea, because I didn't want Harry to get hurt, but I knew the war had changed a lot of us for the better, and maybe Malfoy had too. Not to mention, I'd come to really like Narcissa Malfoy, so I'd make an effort where her son was concerned.

      I'd been scared out of my mind when Narcissa had shown up to Severus's house while we were elbow deep in potion making. I feared she'd harm me as her crazed sister did, but she'd surprised me with her kindness and even a hug for keeping Severus from being taken from her.

     The sweet couple, Neville and Luna, would sit and whisper to each other as they ate. I was always soothed by watching how attentive Neville was with Luna. Not that the capable witch needed any extra help, but he'd make sure she'd have everything she could possibly want. Like an extra biscuit and honey at breakfast to make sure she was nice and full, or carrying her books to every class so she wouldn't hurt her back under the heavy load.

     Then there was Seamus, and Dean whom I'd come to suspect were in fact, a couple. Not that they'd said anything but they'd just given me that feeling you get when you're around people that really care for each other, and it's almost tangible in the air surrounding them. I could be mistaken about their relationship status and decided to keep an eye on this latest development, but I doubt I was wrong since they were sitting close enough to have their legs touching.

     Later in potions, I couldn't stop thinking about Severus and wanted him to come in here and ravage me. Or better yet, apparate to that meadow and get back to where I always wake up from my dream.

     I looked to Ron, as my heart squeezed painfully, feeling super guilty because I wasn't sure if I was being a good girlfriend to him. I wasn't technically cheating on him, just having harmless desire-filled daydreams about someone that I'd never get the chance to kiss again. I mean people daydream about kissing or doing more with other people all the time. That's not cheating its just fanciful daydreams, harmless little thought bunnies.

     Except it was internally driving me insane and making me aware of the fact that I wasn't as sure about everything like I always am. It was unnerving.

     My thoughts were so muddled and confused that I knew I had to talk them over with someone. I considered going to Ginny, but feared she'd either blow me off since she was too wrapped up in school and Quidditch or she'd see right through my line of questioning and wonder what had happened.

     So, I went to who I'd thought would be the next best person.

     I found the pixy looking blonde wandering around outside one of the Herbology greenhouses, lost in her own distant thoughts - like she often is.

     "Hello Hermione Granger," she said in a dreamy, far off voice without looking at me.

     It always unnerved me how she did that, but it was one of her many charms, "Hi Luna."

     I looked in the direction she was staring at, but all I saw was buildings with plants coming out some of the open windows and a few buzzing bees that were busy doing their pollinating jobs. There didn't seem anything worthy of her intense fascination, but I waited for a few moments to see if something moved.

     Out of nowhere, she wrapped her arms around herself and swayed gently, looking like she was giving herself the best hug she'd ever experienced, before turning her dreamy eyes towards me. "Did you know that King Henry, the eighth, was a wizard?"

     "No, he wasn't." I'd have known something like that.

     "A debate between a few Ravenclaw's and Hufflepuff's came up today as to whether he was or not. Personally, I think he could've been."

     "Why would you think that?"

     "Well," she smiled a little as she spoke. "The king would choose one thing and at any moment would change his mind." She tilted her head sideways, "He only had to speak to make that desire realized."

     "He had a kingdom full of subjects willing to do his bidding. That's not magic; it's..." I trailed off, thinking over her words.

     "Voldemort didn't even have that kind of power," she'd started swaying back and forth again.

     I decided not to get into the definition of a wizard with her since the moody King Henry would be a perfect leeway for what I wanted to talk to her about. "He certainly liked changing his mind about women. I wonder what it really felt like to be in love with someone, and then another person comes along, making you feel a new kind of emotion that's very intense as well."

     "I had a boyfriend a few years back, and someone else caught my eye, and I wasn't terribly sure if I was a bad person for it, but I bet it happens all the time really." She shrugged a little.

     "Did you leave your boyfriend for the second guy?" I was surprised by this bit of news about the timid little Ravenclaw.

     "No," long blonde waves rippled as she shook her head in an absent-minded way. "I decided it would be more fun to go mushroom hunting."

     "What?"

     "Oh yes, I found some delicious edible ones in the Forbidden Forest. I wonder if they still grow there or if the centaurs got a hold of them." She leaned in close as if telling me a very deep secret, "Centaurs are very fond of mushrooms you know. I've even seen them have fights over them." Her bright-blue eyes grew wide.

     I wasn't sure If I could get a real answer from her about this situation but tried again anyway. "But what if you'd happen to be in love with your boyfriend and the second person is someone you're not sure you have a chance with, but you can't stop thinking about him no matter how hard you try?"

     Her nonjudgmental blue eyes trailed over me, "Well if you love your boyfriend and know that he's wonderful but, you find yourself attracted to someone you could never have, I'd dump the boyfriend and forget about the other guy."

     "What?" I spat out, surprised.

     "Well, you don't really love your boyfriend if you're wanting someone else and the other person you said that you've no possible future with - move on." Her head slowly turned away as if she was watching a bird flap its way across the sky, and she wandered away soon afterward.

      That wasn't helpful in the least, so I tried talking with an authority on love, "Laverne de Montmorency, I need your expertise."

     The pictured green-skinned and dark-eyed woman smiled in a scary way that made me understand why she'd have to use love potions to get any affection. However, she was an acclaimed love guru as well as being a love potions creator who's instructions on these concoctions are still widely used today.

     "I'm always here to offer my assistance to the lovesick. What can I help with?"

     "I'm not sick." I scoffed a little before thinking over all the emotional turmoil and sleep issues I'd been having, and it did make it seem like an illness.

     The green-eyed woman smiled sweetly at me, "If you say so little one."

     I sighed while shaking my head, "I have a friend who came to me for advice, and I wasn't sure how to respond to her. So knowing you're here, I came straight away to ask you what to tell her."

     "Go on," the pictured woman smiled in a way that I was sure was supposed to be kind and warm but looked more like a jack-o-lantern's wide grin instead, and felt just as soothing.

     "My friend has a wonderful boyfriend who she loves dearly, but someone more mature and incredibly brilliant has caught her eye. The whole situation is a bit complicated."

     "The best things in life always are Dear."

      "She's uncertain if she should keep her relationship with her boyfriend or not because of the guilt she feels about liking this older man."

     "You mean because she hopes by being single, she'd attract the older gentleman?"

     "No!" That couldn't be the case.

     She smiled widely again, "Why don't you tell me about him. Does he know she even exists?"

     "Yes, they're friends - of a sort. In fact, they've kissed once." A smile tugged at my lips as the taste of Severus tingled along my tongue as it does every time I think of him, "Apparently, it was life-altering, and she can't stop thinking about him."

     "I can see her dilemma. Experience versus stamina." I huffed a little thinking about Ron's sexual stamina.

     Green-eyes looked me over critically as I spoke, "The experienced one, well he may or may not fully remember the kiss. And the supposed stamina of the other is that way... maybe fifty percent of the time."

     "Oh, dear! That's - confusing."

     "Exactly!"

     "I meant..." She chuckled lightly, "...how can Mr. Experienced not remember? Was he drinking too much firewhisky?

     "Yes, I believe so." Venom counts, right?

     "He must have been very intoxicated to forget something like that. A single, older man would seldom turn down a younger woman. A married man may resist the temptation, but at least think about it for a minute or two."

     "He's single. Do you really think he'd like a significantly younger woman?" I became hopeful at her words and chastised myself for needing them in the first place.

     "As long as they're both consenting adults then there's no issue. Age is a number to mark how long you've muddled around the planet in that body, not about the experiences one's endured to become the unique and wise individual they are on the inside. So don't fret over numbers, people make connections with different ages all the time. Those connections range from a conversation with a child about their favorite toy that makes you feel that age again, to talking to an elderly person about how things were back when they were young, evoking a feeling of wisdom within you. Over the years, I've found that when it comes to matters of the heart, it's about connecting to someone who thinks on the same wavelength as you do."

     I thought over her words and felt good about what she'd said, but really his age didn't bug me in the least, and the idea that Severus would find me the least bit interesting was an intoxicating head to toe turn on for me.

     De Montmorency inspected me for a moment before asking, "Is her boyfriend a good guy, and does she feel a deep connection when she's with him?"

     "Yes, he's a good boyfriend," but did I ever feel a deep connection with him?

     "The connection?" She asked with a knowing glint in her eye, or maybe that was just my imagination getting the best of me.

     "Well..." I started again but couldn't come up with an answer.

     Since becoming an official couple, all that's changed is that we've become sexually active, as most couples do.

     To be completely honest, I've no idea how he really feels about anything because when I've asked, he becomes very distant. We've never talked about the war, Fred, the situation surrounding me saving Severus or anything that would be considered a serious subject.

     On top of that, I can read him like an open book, and he seems to always be worried about something. It drove me crazy that he wouldn't talk to me like he used to.

     I hate admitting that I'm guilty of keeping something from him, but at least I was trying to get him to talk. I'd thought if we could really open up to one another like we used to, I'd tell him the truth about the accidental kiss I'd shared with Severus. I'd never planned on telling Ron about the kiss, but if I wanted to make our relationship work, which I was pretty sure I did, then I'd have to tell him sooner or later.

     "He's loyal and consistent. They'd been friends for many years before finally become a couple. But since getting together, they've grown distant."

     "Because of Experience's kiss?"

      I shook my head no, "Stamina doesn't even know about that."

     "Oh," she sighed out slowly. "Secrets can be deadly. Your friend should tell her boyfriend the truth."

     "But if Experience has no recollection of the kiss why bring it up at all? It's not like it will ever happen again."

     Her eyes trailed over me, "Are you sure you don't want to kiss him again? Just to see if your feelings are real."

     I flushed. "My friend," I insisted. "Isn't sure that's a good idea."

     "Why ever not?"

     "Because what if it's more mind-blowing than the last time?"

     "I'd say that would be the answer you're really looking for."

     "So I should tell her to kiss him again and see how it goes?"

     "Yes."

     "Is that really what you'd do?"

     "Me!?" she laughed while pointing to herself, "Why on earth would I give up one of them if I could keep them both!?"

     I cocked my head at her a little, disgusted that someone would want to be with two people at the same time. An image of three naked bodies, passionately intertwined wandered into the forefront of my mind, and I cleared my throat, "No! That's not something she'd do. Ever!"

     "Pity," she shook her head in sorrow. "Two is always better than one." Her depraved laughter echoed loudly through the hallway and made me feel unclean.

     My shoulders sagged, "Thank you for the advice." I walked away, knowing that was all the "help" she was going to be able to offer me.

     A few days later and more nightly dreams of near kisses, mixed with the confusing advice from Laverne de Montmorency, had driven me insane.

     I'd finished climbing the last step to the owlery, having decided I was going to send Severus a letter. He hadn't written me yet, and I was really curious if Master Tamaki had been successful at helping him recover; at least that's what I'd told myself for the dozenth time while looking around for an owl to deliver the small envelope.

     The large grey owl took off as soon as I gave him the letter and I watched him fly away until he was nothing more than a speck in the darkening pink and purple sky.

     I took several calming breaths and decided I was going to re-focus on school, my relationship with Ron and to keep trying to forget about my growing feelings for Severus.