-----------------------Gulf's POV-------------------------

I was so happy when Mew started touching me, of course I was so shocked when he told me about his trauma but it doesn't matter now, I froze when he jumped hugging me, I even though that he was going to get sick, I intended to make him start by touching me with one finger but it all worked well, I felt so emotional when I saw his father crying in happiness making plans with his son

Every time we sat watching TV he would hold my hand as if to assure him that it's not a dream and I didn't mind it, I actually got used to him touching me, he even would suddenly hug me or caress my hair or feel my cheeks, it was funny since he looked like a little child who was still learning about touching but I could understand his urge to feel some skin after being deprived from it for more than 15 years

We got so close and spent all most of our time together, we even started working together at the office, we also would go out and have fun with Mild who was happy to see Mew as a brand new person being cheerful and friendly, we also held the twins birthday and they were so happy, I had to buy extra gifts saying it's from their parents, I felt bad lying to them but I couldn't help it, everything was going smoothly until my little sister called me

"hello P' Gulf"

"hey Lin, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine as always, actually, I'm preparing my suitcase right now, starting from tomorrow I'm getting 10 days vacation so I decided to go visit you"

"really? That's amazing! I can't wait to see you! Make sure to send me the exact date and time of your plane, I will welcome you at the airport"

"I'm going to buy the plane ticket today so I will send you a message later, I miss you and miss the twins too"

"me too, we've only been able to talk by phone for almost a year"

"it can't be helped my internship took all my vacation last time, btw how is my sister and brother-in-law?"

"the same as always but I'm sure they will be fine and wake up soon"

"I'm sure of that too... oh, my friend is calling me, we are going shopping and buy plane ticket before it gets dark, see you tomorrow P' Gulf"

"take care Lin, I can't wait to see you, don't forget to send me the message"

"I won't!" I was so happy to see Lin after many months, I contacted Mild who also was very happy to see her and offered to come with me to the airport

"then you take my car and go meet your sister, I will watch over the twins until you come back" Mew offered after I told him about my sister's visit

"thanks a lot P' Mew"

"I can tell you are very close to your family"

"they are everything to me, they even accepted when they discovered I'm gay and even supported me when I was depressed from my first breakup and helped me come to Thailand because of my second one"

"you do have a great family, well, I wish I had siblings too"

My sister arrived on Sunday around 10 am, at first I took her to meet our grandparents before taking her back with me to the apt, Mew welcomed her and even prepared lunch for us, we enjoyed talking all day until night, we planned to take her out to enjoy sightseeing around, I decided to let her have my room and I will join the twins

"the floor is cold, you can't sleep here" Mew whispered watching sleeping down

"it's fine, just for a few days"

"come on you can come and sleep with me, my bed is big enough for both of us"

"I don't want to bother you" without saying a thing he held my hand and dragged me to his room, he forced to sleep with him, honestly I felt a little awkward sharing a bed with him

"do you hate it? Being this close to me?" he suddenly asked noticing that I wasn't able to sleep

"no! of course not! I just feel a little awkward, we've never been this close before"

"is it because I'm a man and you are... gay"

"a part of it especially since you are handsome" he smiled

"thank you for the compliment, just forget about everything else and go to sleep, you have a lot to do with your sister tomorrow"

"you're right, good night" I turned to face the window closing my eyes focusing on my plan for tomorrow. This continued for another couple days and I found myself getting more relaxed sleeping with Mew, he even started holding my hand to sleep, I happened to see his sleeping face up so close, he looked peacefully sleeping with a little smile on his attractive face and that's when my feelings started to flourish

Seeing him so close made me so restless, my heart kept beating loudly and I felt myself getting drawn to him, his sleeping face, his muscular shirtless body, his scent, I felt like I was getting drunk by it without actually drinking, not just his appearance, I could tell that I started to be more and more captivated by his smile, his kindness, the way how he gently treated the kids, I even found myself only thinking about him when I was supposed to focus on my sister

"P' Gulf, just be honest with me, you and P' Mew are dating right?" Lin suddenly asked while we were shopping

"no! we are just close friends, we helped each other a lot, that's all" she smiled looking straight into my eyes

"then you like him don't you?"

"I don't!"

"you know you've never been good at lying, you do realize that you've been staring at him a lot and even smile and laugh a lot with him, eyes can never lie and I can see that sweet loving look you had for him" she smirked walking a little ahead

I'm not dense and I'm well aware that I really did fell for him without attending to but I don't plan on telling him, I just got out of a failed relationship and I want to focus on raising the twins and my work, besides he just got cured from his phobia, what if he gets shocked by my feelings and get his phobia back? I don't want that

"I do like him but I will never tell him for personal reasons so please don't tell anyone Lin"

"why? Is it because of what happened in Japan?"

"no, I have a lot to focus on for now besides there is another reason that makes me want to hide those feelings and bury them deep inside"

"but I want you to be happy with the one you love brother, you already did a lot to support our family"

"I will do anything for my precious family, besides I'm really happy right now so please Lin don't tell anyone"

"alright" I could tell that she didn't like that but I just want thing to stay as it is for now yet unfortunately it didn't

************************************

It happened one week after I saw my sister off, after visiting our older sister at the hospital I drove her to the airport, she still encouraged me to confess yet I kept refusing wanting things to stay normal between us, not to mention he's never been in love so he surely doesn't know if he is straight or gay, he should take it slowly before starting a serious relationship and I only want to take care of my family for the time being

"you have a great cute sister, it's really nice to have siblings" Mew said while we were eating

"thank you, yes it is although sometimes they can be the cause of a headache"

"for how many years she still need to be abroad?"

"two more years"

"that's great, what about your parents?"

"I'm not sure, for my father I believe he still have another 5 years before retirement, and 8 years for mother"

"I'm sure you all will be reunited together here in Thailand again"

"I believe that too" exchanging small talks like this is really enough for me, although I know I can't keep my growing feelings in check but I have to do my best, every time he smiled, he look at me, he touch me, it makes my heart jump out of excitement wanting to touch him more to be in his embrace to be even closer to him, I thought I could do it and perfectly control my feelings but it was impossible

Luckily, it was a weekday, I went to the kitchen to prepare a light sandwich before going back to work, I was focusing on cutting a tomato not noticing that Mew came sneaking behind me, he suddenly got close hugging me from behind surrounding my waist, I flinched and I felt a jolt spreading around my body, his touch was enough to make my heart beat so fast and even make me a little breathless... this has never happened before with my exes

I quickly turned around pushing him away after dropping the knife, I tried to quickly calm myself, I was aware that my cheeks turned deep pink by now, on the other hand, Mew looked taken aback by my reaction, he stood staring at me

"yo-you scared me I said averting my eyes

"ah, sorry, I didn't know you were so focused"

"it's fine" I turned to continue making the sandwich as he came peeking from my shoulder, he was so close and I could feel his breath on neck, because I lost my concentration I ended up cutting my finger

"oh, you're bleeding!" Mew was shocked and quickly held my hand

"it's fine, it's nothing" I slipped my hand and washed it

"let me treat it"

"no really it's just a very small cut" I said stepping back, I can't bear being touched by him, if he get any closer, my feelings will explode and it may turn into a disaster, I thought I managed to hide my behavior but it was no use

"hey, Gulf, why are you avoiding me?" he suddenly asked stunning me, I glanced to find him looking little depressed and worried

"I'm not avoiding you"

"I can tell you are lying or better say, you're hiding the real reason, did I do smth wrong? Did I bother you?"

"no really, it's nothing to worry about, it's my fault"

"tell me the truth" he looked serious stepping ahead facing me, his eyes were looking straight into me and I found myself cornered, my heart loudly beating and I felt my face going from pink to scarlet

"I... it's because I fell in love with you" I said looking away feeling both embarrassed, relief and worry

"huh?" he blinked looking confused

"I like you, no, I somehow fell deep in love with you, I only noticed my feeling around two weeks ago, we got so close and I started noticing everything about you with captivated me, you just completely enchanted me and by the time I realized it, my feelings grew so much to the point that I even started dreaming about you, wishing that we could continue to sleep together, to get even closer... " my suppressed feelings kept rushing out forming every word I just said, he took a step back staring at me in disbelieve

"you love me? In a romantic way?"

"yes, I'm sorry, I was planning to hide my feelings, I started avoiding you because your touch, your scent was enough to melt me and make me so shy, I'm afraid that I may net be able to control myself if I'm so close to you... I'm sorry"

"I... "Mew was speechless, he obviously looked shocked

"I really apologize, this must be sickening and feels awful, I promise I won't come close to you anymore except when we have to work, but I hope you let me continue live here until I find another close apt to the hospital, I'm so sorry P' Mew, I tried to control my feelings, to ignore them but I failed, please just ignore me and continue your life normally" just as I finished I quickly returned to my room to hide my already falling tears

I felt so hurt and extremely sad, I didn't know I loved Mew this much, I sat on the bed crying silently, my heart was in so much pain more than when I was betrayed by my ex, maybe he was right? Maybe because Mew was actually my true love that it hurts like hell knowing that there is no hope and my love for him will be one-sided forever

"if it was going to hurt like this, I wish I didn't meet him, I wish I didn't come back to Thailand..." I muttered with a cracked voice

"Stupid... running away and crying here by yourself without even hearing me" Mew's voice suddenly echoed in my room making me startled and jumped looking to him but quickly hid my face wiping my tears that kept falling, he walked closer and held my hand making me glance up to him

"I was indeed surprised by your sudden confession but I don't feel awful or anything, on the contrary, it makes me feel so happy to know that you really love me this much" I stared at him with wide eyes not understanding what he just said, he smiled gently wiping my tears, he then rested his right hand on my cheek, his touch made me shiver as I felt butterflies, he was so close making me both happy and scared, my feelings were shamelessly pushing me to confess to him again while my mind were telling me to back away and that I was hurt enough by now

"you must have assumed that I don't love you since I managed to perfectly hide my feelings but you see, I also fell for you Gulf" he said softly with honest gaze, my mind stopped for a moment and I didn't know how to react staring at him while he kept a tender sweet smile 

"you fell for- no impossible, you just think that because we've been so close lately and because I helped curing your phobia"

"I expected you to say that but I'm well aware of my feelings, my love for you is different from my love to my father and to the kids, I can tell that you are so special and precious to me Gulf, even if it's my first time falling in love, it's the truth, I fell for your smile, for your hard-working side, for your kindness, being understanding and helping me even though I was mean to you, your patience, your cuteness, I adore everything about you Gulf"

"no way..." I kept blinking not believing what I just heard, he slowly held me closer into his warm embrace, I could feel his beating heart that was loud and I'm sure he could feel mine

"I really love you Gulf, I know it's hard for you to believe me especially after being betrayed by your ex but I really adore you, please don't think it's one-sided and stop crying, don't even think about moving away, I'm going to keep you by my side for a very long time"

"are you sure? Loving me? Maybe you should try meeting girls and-"

"I never was interested in girls, even after being cured, I never looked or tried to be in contact with them, it has always been you since the first time we met, when I first saw you, you left a huge impact on me and I couldn't forget you, I will say it and will keep saying it every day until you completely believe me, I love you Gulf" his voice rang like a melody in my ear and felt a wave of happiness drowning me

"I also love you, a lot" I slowly hugged him back with tears of joy sliding down my cheek, I hope this isn't a dream, I really wish that we are truly together and that Mew really loves me

"I promise I will make you believe me, I'll show you how much I adore you, prepare yourself" he uttered holding me tighter

"thank you... thank you for accepting me, for loving me... thank you" all I could do is to thank him, I wish he is not mistaken about his feelings for me, if it's real, I wonder how did he manage to hide them? And since when did he start liking me?