Status: Edited

Johnny's POV
My eyes went blurred with a feeling of... I can't even explain. Something was hurting me, and I couldn't say exactly what it was.

Maybe it was the fact that Pony left me stranded here all by myself. Maybe that Soda had come and ruined the best time there was for me to confess.

It was likely both. I knew it.

Saying that to myself only made the heart inside me sink like an anchor. It turned my view into something I couldn't get out of; unloved, unwanted, unsolved, undiscovered... fury; I know it'd hit me with it's tip every now and then... that's what I couldn't escape.

The thunder of seclusion just loves to make it's way over to me and switch things on by raining it's hardest.

Care was never involved in this. Neither was a warm or generous heart. The steady pace of an actual warm heart faded when he left. It all just died down.

But... why does it ruin me this much? Why does it hurt? Is it really what's killing me? Love? Cause I don't think it should really be that bad. Why can't it just heal on it's own?

Why can't my suffering just end already?

Does love usually treat people this way? With a tease to absolutely no matter at all? Do I really have to go through something like this? With a boy? And when it's impossible to tell him without wanting to kill myself afterwards?

Do others know what it's like to feel that way?

And... will my imagination learn to break away from the thought that he could ever love me back?

"Hey kid, you alright?"

I flinched. "O-oh, h-hi Dallas,"

"You okay John?" he sat next to me.

"Y-yea... perfect," I mumbled the last word.

"Look, I know, I know everything there is to know about you Johnny. Don't argue when I tell you things will change. They will, and I promise that."

I squinted my eyes out of concern. "What're you saying Dal?"

"You know what I'm saying, just give it some time," I blushed lightly, thinking he could possibly know.

He got up from the seat. "Dally," I got up as well.

"Yea kid?"

"I-I think y-you know," As soon as his eyes met mine, I realized how cold and demeaning they looked. Do I trust him?

"Yea, I think I do. But it's not to hurt you, it's only to help you." he started to walk away.

"Help with what?" he didn't answer.

I shouted more, hearing my echo as the only response back. Since I was still standing, I guess I could be on my way to the lot. There's no point in being here anyway.

Ponyboy's POV
I lowered my view.

"Ponyboy?"

"I-i mean it Darry, t-that's who I am. W-who I c-choose to be," I sniffled.

"What?" his tone wasn't too soft and it wasn't too scary, but I was still very much terrified.

"Does Soda know about this?"

"D-don't bring Soda into this," I wiped the last tear. "I-I know you don't want a brother like me, a brother who'll probably date a few guys in the next year. I-I know you don't wanna have to deal with that. I-I also know that I probably don't deserve that wrong k-kind of love."

I quickly stumbled out of the house and ran off to the lot. Making my way down the block seemed to stop the tears from leaking. Johnny was there, oh thank goodness.

"J-johnny?"

"Hey Pone, what's wrong? Why're you panting so much?"

I kneeled down and hugged him tightly.  "Oh Johnny," I cried softly. His hands slowly started to rub my back. The second I felt it, a light, rosy blush had overtaken my face.

"What's the matter Pony?" I felt more calm after hearing his sweetly soothing voice.

"I-I need to run away Johnny,"

he gasped. "How come?"

I backed out of the hug. If I tell him, will he reject me? Will he call me names? I already love him too badly enough. "Reasons."

"Well, if you're running away, you better take me with you... even if it's for no reason,"

I blushed. "You wanna come?"

He nodded.

"Then, run away with me Johnny."

-

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