౨ৎ. it's a mutual thing
imessage & real life.

the next day...

valerie
guys...😬😬😬
i'm with nick to see a hockey game

charcoal  🪨
valerie? hockey game?
who's holding you at gunpoint? 🤨

valerie
no one sadly 😔

kali 💋
do you want us to save you?

valerie
no i sadly came here on my free will
i'm watching matt play tho 😋☝️

kali 💋
isn't chris on the team too?

valerie
maybe? idk.

charcoal 🪨
VALERIE
are you serious?

valerie
what ☹️

charcoal 🪨
ik you know he's on the team
do you like actually HATE him, hate him?
bc last time i asked you changed the damn
subject.

valerie
i mean yeah...
it's hard to get along with someone who
ruined my chances at competing but
life's life yk?
( i never want to see him again :/ )

kali 💋
girl.... 🙁

charcoal 🪨
girl you're going to have sm more comps
why hate him for the one you missed?

valerie
idk it's just how it is ig.
there was something different about the
last one it felt special and i was so excited
for it. then it got taken away...

charcoal 🪨
ok, valerie, i'm js telling you now that
you're going to end up not caring about
all of this very soon. i promise you that

valerie
but it's also not just that, it's a mutual thing.
i can tell

kali 💋
how can you tell?

valerie
it's just so hard to actually be around him
like i can feel the dislike between us
it's very awkward

kali 💋
maybe just try talking to him?

valerie
he would probably gag
IIIIII would probably gag

charcoal 🪨
maybe just give it a shot, then you
can't say you didn't try 🤷‍♀️

valerie
maybe but i'm okay with not trying

charcoal 🪨
that's not gonna get you anywhere in life 💀

valerie
i've gotten this far

charcoal 🪨
and how far is that? girly 🙂

valerie
not that far 🙁
point taken
ig i'll try..
just don't expect anything

kali 💋
we're rooting for you!

charcoal 🪨
WHOOP WHOOP 🥳

valerie
okay we're going into the rink now
bye bye guys.

charcoal 🪨
remember try!

valerie
okay mother 😞

charcoal 🪨
shut up valerie 😭

valerie
🤐🤐🤐

VALERIE AND NICK WERE WALKING into the rink, just in time for the hockey game to start. matt had brought him and chris about an hour before, so valerie was the one to drive her and nick there.

"could we please get some snacks before we go in?" valerie asked nick as they passed the concession stand. the smell of popcorn and sweet candies got more and more prominent the closer they got to it. she wanted to buy all of it.

"i'll pay for you." nick mentioned, looking up at the board displaying all that they had to offer.

"are you sure?" she wasn't really worried about the cost as much since concessions were always fairly cheap. she just knew she could pay for herself.

"yeah, get whatever you want." he assured her, pointing to the snacks displayed on the menu.

"umm, can i get a popcorn? and a coke?" the singular girl working there immediately got a bag of popcorn and a bottle of coke in the matter of seconds. it always amazed valerie how quickly they work sometimes.

"i'll take two soft pretzels, a thing of hot tamales, and a cherry coke, please."

the girl got all of his order almost as quickly as she did valerie's. she did have to get two soft pretzels and cheese out for him, but still it was immensely fast.

nick paid for their food, which ended up being close to nothing, then they started walking towards the doors to get into the actual rink. valerie braced herself for the rush of cold air she was about to walk through. no matter how many times she went through it, she will never get used to the shift in temperature.

they sat down in on the bleachers, next to the team's bench. they were all getting their gear on, making sure everything was ready to go out and play the game. looking at them punching each others' shoulders and hyping each other up just reminded her how much she actually hated this sport. it's exactly how they would act before taking over the rink like they owned the place or something.

there was a sudden banging on the glass-like barrier, catching valerie's attention. she looked over to see matt with his hand on the glass and a huge smile on his face.

he started to mouth something but she couldn't quite make it out, she was a horrible lip reader. so she got up and went over to him, maybe she could hear him then?

"you came!" the words caught his brothers attention, who was sitting down on the bench right next to him.

"i thought you were going to back out!" chris yelled, surprisingly getting up to stand next to matt.

"yeah, i thought maybe my presence would trip you up!" she yelled back, shrugging. she watched as he rolled his eyes, then moved away from her. her eyes looked back at matt, a small smile moving across her lips. she sent him a quick wave, and wished him good luck before she decided to ditch and sit back down with nick.

there was a part of her that wanted to resist the urge to watch the game, but sometimes she caught herself looking for chris and matt's numbers. matt was four and chris was three. it was like a fun alternative game of where's waldo. it was hard for her to stay focused too long on the game because the concept of hockey was a foreign subject to valerie. she had no idea what was going on, who was winning, or who had the puck. so when she wasn't looking out for those two specific numbers, she decided she was just going to be talking to nick.

they talked and talked until it was the last ten minutes of the game. the opposing team was down by two points, and the tension between the teams was growing like a wildfire. there were foul plays after foul plays, shoves after shoves, and even some quick punches from each side. it was kind of starting to worry valerie because she never knew how heated these kinds of games could get. she figured that matt and chris were already used to the roughness, but there was still the aspect of her watching it happen that made her not want to watch the rest of it.

but as the aggression towards each side got more and more noticeable, it was hard for her to not look out after chris and matt. she tended to look out for matt's number more than chris' because why would she want to watch him play? despite the fact that she's already watched far longer than she originally planned.

there was one time where valerie decided to take a quick look at her messages on her phone. she was in her own world and it took her a second to notice that everyone on her side of the bleachers were suddenly gasping and whispering to each other. some even going at lengths of yelling. which valerie didn't understand until she chose to look back up at the ice, to see a player completely shoved on their side against the wall that was farthest from her.

"oh my god!" valerie stood up at the sight, trying to see the number on the jersey of the player on the ground. her heart immediately dropping the second she was able to read it.

it was number three.

the aftermath looked serious. there were referees rushing to get on the ice along with them, checking to see if he was okay. he wasn't getting up from the ice, he was just laying there like he couldn't even move. at this point she couldn't even see him anymore as a couple of his teammates, including matt, skated over to him.

matt and nate were the ones who helped him off the ice, and nick was the first of the two of them to make their way over to chris. though valerie seemed more rushed, nick looked like he's been through this many times before, and he definitely has.

"is he okay?" valerie asked nick, with a volume she thought was not loud enough for chris to hear.

"i'm not sure, he probably will be." he answered, not giving much thought about how much valerie seemed to care.

"valerie?" she heard her name being called from the small huddle of people. the very people who slowly parted at the mention of her name, but the tone of it sounded confused more than anything.

when he finally came into view between all the people, she saw that he has already gotten off half of his gear. it made her think about when he helped her take off her skates. the look he had in his eyes, and the gentleness of his hands while he helped her get out of them. that was slightly before she decided to declare her hatred for him. and the difference in the atmosphere between then and now was insane to her.

their eyes met and chris was the first to speak, "i see you're worried." people started to disperse, realizing he was going to be fine, but also not wanting to be in the middle of a conversation.

"maybe i am, but it has nothing to do with you." it was partially true because she would have acted the same way if it had been matt. probably nate too even though she didn't really know him all that well. but other than that? she wouldn't have cared.

"yeah, sure."

"really, it could have been anyone out there." the lie was the only way she could try to save herself from what she accidentally asked in front of chris.

"but you hate hockey players." valerie was shocked that he could remember that detail, but also not because it has been repeated over and over. it's probably one of the only qualities chris knows about her.

"you guys are still people. i'm not a monster."

"would you really be standing around them like you are for me right now?" he bent over to undo his knee pads and everything else on his legs, still looking up at valerie while he did so.

she knew he was right, needing a different explanation as to why she seemed so worried about him. she went with, "i only got up because nick did."

"don't lie to me again."

"i didn't." it was true she didn't, she wouldn't have gotten up if it weren't for nick. but the thing was, she was hoping and knew for a fact that he was going to. it was inevitable for him to go over to help his injured brother, so she just waited for the moment to come.

"yes, you did. i even heard you ask if i was okay. you care."

"why were you listening to me?" valerie only answered part of his statement, she didn't mean to disregard his last sentence. she just wanted to turn the conversation onto him instead.

"it's not hard to pick out your voice, val." the nickname hitting her brain in all the wrong spots. she felt like she wasn't even being talked to whenever he said it. she's never used that one in her entire life, even when people asked if they could. valerie was always just right for her.

"can you stop calling me that?"

"why? it clearly has an effect."

she didn't respond to him, she was fed up with his behavior right now. all she did was look at him, the hate coming back to her eyes. she stared at him for a couple more seconds until he went down to reach his other skate, stopping for a second to ask her, "can you help me with the left foot?"

the way he spoke was fully of mockery. it was a complete one-eighty from the last time they were here together, and she knew exactly what he meant by it.

"i—"

"i helped you, didn't i?" he made it sound like he was trying to remind her of that moment. because he did help her, but that was before they really hated each other. though, she still felt like she owed him this, at the least.

she got down to untie the skate, then copying exactly what he told her a little more than a weeks ago. "let me know if it hurts."

he looked at her, a smug look on his face before he responded, "it hurts."

౨ৎ
nat's notes !

IDK their hockey numbers so i just put their lacrosse numbers bc yeah :D

um the full circle moment goes crazy 🙁☝️