"Your friends are really cool." Hassana was telling me as I walked her back to the girls hostel.

It was past ten already.

"They're crazy." I couldn't stop the wry smile from creeping unto my lips.

We reached the steps of the hostel. I noticed a lot of girls gathered around stop and stare when there was really nothing to stare at.

She held on to my hand when I was about to leave and wouldn't meet my eyes. "I really had a nice time tonight... Can we do it again tomorrow?"

She was playing with her fingers and wouldn't meet my gaze.

"Sure." I replied without thinking.

Her eyes brightened immediately. She jumped up and down excitedly and moved to hug me before she caught herself. "Goodnight, Amir!" She turned and started running into the hostel.

"Hassana!" I called out.

She froze in her tracks, turned around to look at me.

I smiled at her. "Goodnight."

She gave me a smile now. A big one. A real one.

As I walked back to the boy's hostel, I found myself trying to point out the differences between her real smile, the one she gave me a few seconds ago, and her fake smile, the one she'd had on, throughout the night...

There were no differences... I couldn't tell her genuine smiles from her fake smiles and it troubled me more than it should.

__

Throughout the rest of the week, Hassana clung to us and didn't let go. It was okay. We weren't complaining. We really liked her company.

"If I fall, will you catch me?" She asked me with big, brown eyes as she tried to balance on a rock, arms spread wide, like she wanted to fly.

"Yes," I said, truthfully, "yes, I'll catch you."

She beamed at me, her smile reaching her eyes... And pretended to fall.

"You didn't catch me!" She accused, pouting like a child.

"You didn't fall." I shrugged, looking up at the night sky that embraced the stars.

Hassana was like a star. Bright and sunny and bursting with energy... But that was the irony... In the end, even stars choose destruction over life.

"So, are you taking part in the competition?" She asked now, balancing on the rock, again. She had a serene smile on her lips and I couldn't help smiling back.

Hassana had a soft, beautiful face that reminded me of cherub angels and cotton candy. Her hair was spilling out of her loose bun and framing her cheeks. Throughout the course of the week, her clothes consisted of tiny shirts, tinier shorts and mini skirts. I had grown accustomed to carrying around an extra jacket with me to give her anytime she wanted to hang.

"Yes. Are you?" I found myself asking her.

"Oh no, I'm not smart enough for that." She quickly put herself down. and proceeded to ramble. "I only came to support my friend, Giwa!"

Giwa was definitely something. I skipped Dynamis last year, but the entire student/teacher population had heard of Giwa because she defeated Asa during finals.

This year, I had heard of her before I actually saw her, and not just from Hassana. From scared JSS1s, hateful SS2s, jealous SS3s. And all of them seemed to agree on one thing. Giwa wasn't only a witch, but an evil one. She provoked anger, envy, irritation, hatred... And worst of all... Fear. It was predominant in their eyes, their looks, their demeanor.

Hassana talked about her and you imagined a benevolent goddess, everyone else talked about her and you saw an evil queen.

Meeting Giwa for the first time, I was a little curious. I expected a tall, bulky muscular she-man, or an overly wickedly beautiful witch of some sort.

Hassana had excitedly pulled Jordan, Dave and I, desperate to get us to Giwa. The message was clear: we had to go to Giwa, Giwa doesn't come to us.

I saw Giwa from a distance and I was disappointed. She was small. Tiny, even, compared to most girls I've seen. She was skinny, hardly any muscle on her. She was pretty but not attractive... So what was it about her that got people on their toes?

And then, I reached where she was and saw her eyes and suddenly understood. She had looked down at me. I didn't know how she did it. I was taller than she was but she had looked down on me. Don't kid yourself. I am the queen here, and you are beneath me, her eyes seemed to say. But she had been nice and cordial... Even friendly towards us... For Hassana's sake, I guess

She was with a guy, he introduced himself as Nova, who smiled warmly at us as we approached them.

"Hey, Giwa!" Hassana had waved to her enthusiastically, pulling us towards her. Giwa had been sitting on a plastic chair, I'm sure she imagined was her throne, poised and regal.

"Hassana, your shouting is giving me a headache." Giwa had groaned.

She didn't acknowledge us until Hassana introduced us but she had smiled and received us warmly after the introduction.

And then Jordan grinned when it was his turn to introduce himself and he hugged her, picking her up, a bit.

That loosened her a bit. She screamed something like, "Ah! Jubilation! Stop!"

Needless to say, everything went fine until we wanted to leave.

A girl had passed, glared acidly at Hassana and whispered harshly to her friend. "That useless whore is trying to fuck these guys from Trinity."

The others didn't hear her, not even Hassana... But Giwa did. She gave the girl a long hard look, until the girl trembled in fear and ran away.

She then turned to Nova. "That's Adaugo Uzoka, in SS2c. Remind me to properly deal with her when we get back to school."

Nova had sighed. "Giwa na-"

"Remind me." She warned him coldly.

She had made an impression on me and in that moment, I got to see a tiny glimpse of what her schoolmates saw in her. But she was Hassana's friend, so she had to be a good person... Right?

"So, you only came to support her? Isn't it compulsory for you guys?"

She shrugged. "Nope."

"So, you didn't have to come?"

She jumped down from the rock and nodded vigorously, rambling. "Naaaa. I only came to support her. Giwa's my best friend! She's really cool. I'm so happy you were able to meet her. I told her sooo much you! But I don't think she listens much."

As she talked and talked and talked, her face morphed from glowing respect to dark, intense adoration... She adored Giwa. "Like... she's so busy all the time. It's always, Dynamis this, and Physics that, or Ivandor this, or Chemistry that! If she wasn't so busy, I'm sure she'd love to really get to know you and your friends. She's also headgirl, you know? She won Dynamis last year and wants to win again this. I want to cheer for her the hardest when she does, because she deserves-"

I hugged her. My body moved on it's own. And she was a basket of bones and a beating heart in my arms.

She stood, shocked out of her mind.

Can you stop. Being. So. Pathetic.

One of the reasons I hung out with Hassana, besides her sunny personality was how much I just didn't understand her. Being with her gave me huge migraines. I really couldn't tell who she was and everyday I spent with her left me even more confused about who she really was.

I used to think Asa was the most puzzling, most interesting being in the universe. I used to think there was so much that lied behind her tight scowls and sad eyes but the truth was that, she was the most simple, most plain person I'd ever met. Just by looking at her, you could tell something was wrong, from her scowls to her eyes, you could tell she was battling something... You just didn't know what.

But girls like Hassana... Girls like Hassana were more deceptive. More cunning. She smiled too much, fought to please others and always wanted to laugh the hardest and hope her laughter would infect those around her. Girls like Hassana were so busy saving the world and offering a smile, she forgot to save herself. She was the kind of person that would get stabbed in the back, but turn around and smile at her backstabber.

It was so fucking annoying.

"Stop, please. Just shut up. Keep quiet. Don't say more. Please."

She literally couldn't stop talking. Or smiling or laughing. Throughout the week, I had tried and tried and tried to detect a break in her sunny personality. She didn't scowl when the waiter took too long. When Dave unknowingly took her seat at the suya spot, yesterday, she beamed at him and went to get extra drinks for everyone. When someone spilled soda all over her costly Jimmy Choos, she laughed it off. She didn't clap back at one of her classmates that called her Ashawo literally two feet behind her, within hearing distance.  Instead, she offered that big big smile that I still couldn't tell when it was genuine or when it was fake.

And it was giving me a fucking headache.

"You talk too much." I sighed, frustrated, looking at her. Trying to get a reaction. Any reaction.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, playing with her fingers.

"You laugh too much."

"Huh?"

"You talk way too much."

She was looking at me confused now.

"I read somewhere that the saddest people, laugh the hardest. Are you sad, Hassana?" I was losing my mind.

She only paused and tsked at me. "Oh, Amir. Poor Amir." Ruffled my hair and walked past. "Come naw! The others are waiting!" She stamped her feet at me when I just stood in my tracks, watching her.

I sighed. "I'm coming."

We got to the spot and I stopped, my entire body freezing over. Cold gripped my limbs and crippled me. I simply forgot the art of locomotion.

Kam was there. Kam was... Kam was... Kam was there.

I suddenly forgot how to unfreeze.

My relationship with Kam had deteriorated ever since Offshore. And it only got worse when school resumed.

I remembered our last fight. The scathing words I had said to him.

He had hurt Asa. Very badly. Even more badly than the whole Offshore fiasco I still didn't properly understand.

I remembered my blood, boiling with righteous indignation... The things I had said. The things we had said.

"God, if you're so hung up on her, why don't you go comfort her?!" He had exploded. Fire sparked in his eyes. "I bet she'd love that! I bet YOU'D love that, yeah? Go and wrap your hands around her and play her your stupid guitar and sing to her but for the fucking love of Christ, leave me the fuck alone!"

I had tried to be calm with him. To reason with him. He was hurt. His life was falling apart. I got that. I understood that.

But we ended up exchanging words we didn't mean.

"Maybe I'll go to Asa right now. And kiss away her pain. And touch her in all the places you hurt her. And make her smile even brighter than the fucking sun... Kam, I'll show her what it means to be loved by me."

Yeah... I walked into that one.

He had flung his fist, I hadn't had time to react. I remembered the pain exploding on my nose, my eyes watering badly. I had crumpled to the floor, screaming in pain and cursing in Arabic.

He had broken my entire fucking nose.

I walked slowly, cautiously, towards the outdoor space where he was sitting with Asa curled up in his arms. She was sitting on his laps, leaning against his chest, eyes closed and his arms were around her, cheek in her hair, his eyes closed, murmuring softly to her.

It was such a tender position, my heart twisted for them.

It had been days since the group had launched "Operation Save Kam" and from the look of things, it had been a success.

Dave and Osahon were present with them and they didn't seem to mind the fact that he was in an entirely different universe with Asa.

"Sorry we're late, guys!" Hassana announced our arrival. "I kept Amir waiting!"

I paled at the mention of my name.

Kam froze, raised his head slowly and looked me dead in the eyes. I noticed Asa go still in his arms too.

I sighed and felt his gaze on me as I took my seat as far away from him as humanly possible.

"Amir." Kam rose suddenly.

I looked at him now, shocked he was addressing me directly.

"Can we talk?... Privately." He glanced at Asa with a hopeful expression on his face, as if asking, 'how'd I do?'. She nodded and smiled encouragingly at him. He beamed at her.

They had talked about this.

Funny how I used to hate Asa before. Not just because I had a stupid, unreasonable crush on her, but because I was angry with the fact she was moving in on my friends, especially Kam. With her bad reputation, the dark rumours about her brother, who only had good words to say about her, Asa used to be my least favourite person... But the fact... The fact she cared enough about me and Kam's friendship... It melted my heart.

"I guess I should start with an apology." He started, when we walked away from the group.

"You should start by kissing my ass, DeAngeles." I rolled my eyes, shoved my hands in my pocket and wouldn't look at him. "You broke my nose. Do you know how much a nose job costs these days?"

He cringed visibly. "Well, you'll have to settle with an apology, Amir. It's all I got."

It's all I got.

I realized he was talking about his new economic status that had dive-bombed to the ground.

He suddenly sighed heavily, sagged against the wall and slid down to the ground, buring his face in his trembling hands, a posture that robbed me of my strength.

I stood beside him, watching, wanting to comfort him in my silence.

"I don't know what's happening to me," he whispered, "I'm sorry. For everything I said. Everything I did."

"I know."

"Everything is falling apart."

"I know."

"And you're still my friend."

"Till death do us part, asshole."

__

"So you and your friend got back together!" Hassana hadn't stopped beaming all through the night. "I'm so happy about that!"

She and Kam really hit off and even engaged in a chugging contest where she emerged the winner.

"Kam's sooo cute!" She gave me heart eyes. "I see why Asa likes him. He's really nice. I feel bad that he's going through a lot. I wish you guys would tell me. I can help!"

I stopped now, folded my hands, a small smile on my lips. "And we can't? He's friends with the richest, brightest kids at our school, Hassana, the only reason he got this bad is because of his stupid pride."

"Richest?" She perked up suddenly. "Brightest?"

I nodded. "You already know that Haliya's a northern princess. Jordan's parents are supreme judges, Dave's father has completely monopolized businesses in the east-"

"And you?"

I stopped. Tongue tied.

"Who are you?"

I sighed and avoided her gaze. "I don't like to say. I don't want to change how you see me."

She looked at me with big brown eyes, on her face was the gentlest of smiles. "You can tell me, Amir. I promise I won't judge. Cross my heart."

I sighed and shook my head.

Against my will, I remembered the last time I told a stranger who I really was. Dark nights, soft kisses on my lips, my chest, how she held me like I was something that deserved to be taken care of. Her hands, her skin, her lips, everything about her that took me to the brink of insanity. Her voice that could murder an entire host of angels. One night of passion, an entire bucket of memories.

It had been two months already but my heart refused to forget about her. To let her go. I didn't even feel pain anymore. Just longing and hurt and why why why? Why did she have to do it? Why did she have to leave? She didn't only steal my wallet and wristwatch, she robbed my heart and held it hostage, demanding my sanity as ransom.

"Amir?" Hassana's voice snapped me out of my dark thoughts. "Amir, are you okay?"

My chest was hurting again. I looked at the sky, as if I would find an answer.

I'd written a thousand songs about that night. A million more about her. About her eyes, her lips, her body... Songs I'll never share with anyone.

Hassana gazed at me worriedly and quietly muttered. "I'm sorry."

"Why're you apologizing?"

She sighed heavily, gesturing helplessly. "I don't know. I think I did something wrong."

"You didn't."

"Will you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"I want to know who you are."

I looked away from her, refused to let her see my face. I may like Hassana, may be curious about her, protective of her, even, but I didn't want her to know me the way she had. I couldn't disrespect our memories like that. It was the only thing I had of her. And I wanted to be as selfish as possible.

"My classmates say you're a prince..." she started quietly. "They say your father is the Sultan of Sokoto."

My head snapped towards her so fast, I had a whiplash. "How did they know?"

She laughed now, excitedly. "So, it IS true!" Pumped her fist in the air and did a mini dance.

"Hassana!"

"Okay, fine, fine, I'll tell you." She stood on her tiptoes and leaned in to whisper in my ears, "girls gossip a lot. News travel fast... Especially about pretty boys like you."

"I'm not pretty."

"You're cute." She pinched my cheeks, cooing at me. "Cute Amir. Cute baby Amir." And didn't leave me until I started laughing quietly. She beamed proudly. "See? Talking helps. You're not quiet and pensive anymore."

I laughed again, shook my head with an unbelievable expression on my face.

"So, how do you do it? Do you like... Go home for the holidays or something? You must miss your family a lot."

"I don't."

"What?"

"I don't miss my family. I don't go back home."

She stopped now, staring at me with a dead, frozen expression, her face, going slack. "Why?"

I shrugged.

"Let me get this straight." She started. "Your parents are alive. They're well."

"My father is alive. My mum died before I turned twelve."

She stopped now, her heart in her throat. There were tears in her eyes again. "I didn't know."

"It's popular knowledge. It was all over the news."

She shook her head now, vehemently, "I didn't know. I'm sorry." She looked like she was about to burst into tears. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, it's okay. It's been almost a decade now. I'm over it."

"Your dad must be heartbroken."

I gritted my teeth.

"Why won't you go and see him?" She persisted. "He must be lonely."

"We're almost at the hostel. I'm sure you can find your way back from here."

"Amir..." She whispered, with eyes like heartbreak again.

I turned away from her.

"I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do... But... you have a father. He's living, he is well. Do you know how many kids are dying to have their parents with them?! Do you? And you're taking him for granted." She whispered the last part bitterly. "You're taking him for granted."

"Hassana, you don't understand. You don't know anything about me."

She looked at me sadly, and shook her head. "Call your father, Amir. Speak to him. Just ask him how he's doing... You won't know what you have until its gone." With that, she turned and left.

And never looked back.