❝We got a ride
We got the night
I got the bottle
You got the light
We got the stars (stars)
We got audio❞
*

"Guy, you have to stop bringing all these chicks over. The neighbours are starting to think I'm running a whore house."

That was my annoying cousin, Rashid, who thought he could backpack across the whole of Africa with his jolly mates.

I was crashing at his place at the moment, somewhere in Ikoyi, close to a cafe/bookstore named Jazzhole. His apartment was nice enough, nothing like the exotic vacation house back at Offshore, where I was currently escaping from, but it was nice, the way a woodsy cottage is nice. Modest. Warm. Happy. Peaceful.

And right now, I needed my peace of mind more than anything.

I rolled unto my stomach, groaning. "Shut up, Rashid, I'm trying to sleep!"

My head hurts... My stomach hurts... My lungs. My heart...

"You have to get up, coz. You can't keep doing this to yourself. I was scared shitless last night. What will I tell your father if anything had happened to you."

My father could rot.

Moaning, I searched blindly for my phone, at the same time, trying to quell the pain in my gut. I felt around for my phone, but couldn't find it.

"Rashid, stop bitching about and help me look for my phone."

He was quiet for a while, I imagined him glowering at me.

"It's the latest Huawei, right? The limited one that's not out in the markets yet."

I held my head, trying to contain the pain. "Yes." I moaned. "Yes, it is."

"You won't find it." He quipped, sitting on my bed.

"What? Why not?!"

"The girl you brought over yesterday... Oh no, scratch that, One of the THREE girls you brought yesterday, took it."

Huh?

I peeked at him from one open eye. "How do you know that?"

He shrugged. "I saw it with her when she was trying to sneak out with her girlfriends."

"And you couldn't stop her?"

He shrugged again. "You deserved it. You should know better than trusting lagos street girls, and you brought home THREE last night!" He screamed at me.

"Stop screaming at me!" I used one of the satin soft pillows to cover my head.

"Coz, just look at yourself! Fucking take a look at yourself! You've been a mess, every single night since you crashed here four days ago. Drinking and whoring around like some fucked up billionaire's son!"

That's exactly what I am.

"You don't eat, you don't shower unless you want to go out late at night. And these girls you keep bringing over. 'mir, this isn't healthy at all. You got into a fight, threw up on the front lawn and now you've lost your phone! You're like a walking Jon Bellion song! Get your shit together!"

Allah, shut this boy up!

He didn't stop. Actually, he flared up. "I get i get, you're heartbroken and shit, but fuck, you're not the first guy to go through this type of thing! Why are you acting like you'll die without her? Wetin dey do you sef?!"

I moaned weakly, trying to cover my ears at his pathetic attempt at pidgin. It didn't mix well with that Arabian accent of his and I've told him before.

"I know Asa is pretty, but heck, she's not Aphrodite, naw. What will you na do when you see-". His annoying voice was cut short by an even more annoying Katy Perry song.

His phone was ringing.

"Hello?" Rashid said when he answered the call. He listened in on the person and handed the phone to me. "It's for you. It's Dave." He answered, when I gave him a puzzled look.

"FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!" Dave screamed into my ears the moment I answered. "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, DISAPPEARING ON US LIKE THAT?! FOUR DAYS! FOUR FUCKING DAYS, AZIEL! WHAT IS ALL THIS NAW?! YOU WANT MAKE I CRAZE?! YOU WANT MAKE I CRAZE FOR YOU?!"

I winced, holding the phone away from me. He continued ranting and ranting, slew of curses, escaping his mouth as he pretty much called me every insult he knew.

When he took a short pause, i finally asked. "You done?"

He growled at me and I laughed. "Dave, chill. I'm fine. I'm cool."

"He's not fine!" Rashid shouted beside me. "He's trying to kill himself!"

I imagined Dave narrowing his eyes at me and I glared at Rashid, successfully shutting him up.

Dave was silent for a while... And I knew why.

He practically saved me that morning, after my outburst at Kam. He had walked into my room and found me passed out on the floor, barely breathing.

What he had done?

Punched me back to life. Unorthodox, yes, but he had saved my life that day. I owed him. I owed him a lot.

"Amir..." He was gentle now. "We talked about this."

I sighed, rolling unto my back and massaging my head.

No matter how many times I tried to assure him that it wasn't my intention to kill myself that day, he wouldn't believe me. Breathing down my neck and wanting to follow me everywhere I went. He was literally choking the life out of me.

"I know, I know, Dave. I just... I just need breathing space. You were suffocating me in that house."

"Because I fucking care about you, asshole! How dare you disappear on me like that?! I'm coming to get you!"

"No!" I practically screamed, sitting up in bed, causing a sharp pain, piercing my head. I gripped my head in one hand, remembering my hangover. "No. No. I'm not... I can't go back there. I just can't. I'm sick and tired of trying to pretend I'm fine."

Dave exhaled, I could tell that he was deep in thoughts. "Amir..."

"You're only wasting your time, Dave. There's nothing left for me in that cursed house. Kam hates my guts. Asa hates my guts..."

Asa...

I had practically barred my heart to her and she had stumped on it, furious, after she found out I had spilled everything to Kam.

"I'm trying. I swear to you, I am trying so hard to not fucking feel this way. This feeling... It's toxic even to me. I can't handle it and it's spilling out and hurting me even more than it's hurting you and Kam."

All she had done was glare acidly at me, like I was the vilest piece of shit to ever walk the earth... And maybe I was... Maybe.

"You're not a piece of shit, Amir." Dave said quietly, and I suddenly wondered if he was clairvoyant after all. "You're my best fucking friend, a royal asshole in the making. Nobody else comes close when it comes to assholeness. No one."

"Dave?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you drunk?"

"Yes..."

"Shut up, then."

Dave laughed one of his loud, obnoxious laughter. "I love you, man."

"Uh... Eww?"

"And I mean that in the straightest way." He paused for a second. "Asa shouldn't be the only one to tell you that, you know?"

Asa... "I know, Dave... I know."

We drifted on the talk about other things, trying to get me to reassure him that I was fine where I was.

"How about that girl you got back from the club? Malika. The one with the big assets. You looked like you were really feeling her."

"Malika?" I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to remember.

"That one na. You met her that day in Afterparte. Asa's birthday."

Asa's birthday! I suddenly remembered.

"Dave, I'll call you later!"

"What do you mean-"

"Bye!" I hung up, before he could finish his sentence, turning off the phone and handing it back to Rashid.

Rashid gazed at me, puzzled but took the phone from me.

"Laptop! Get me a laptop."

He stood up, murmuring and grumbling under his breath but brought his laptop back to me.

I powered it on, typing away furiously on it.

St Laurent highschool. St Laurent highschool. St Laurent highschool.

The shadey guy I noticed at the club went to St Laurent highschool. I never fell for his stupid sob story about his little sister being Kosi's fan.

I had asked around, having to sit and drink and pretend like I was interested in the girls that were part of the group he came with. That's actually how I met this 'Malika' person and she had fed me all the details I needed about the guy.

All I had to do now was verify the details she had given me and make sure she hadn't fed me shit.

I found the school's official website, with links to their page on Instagram, colourful with splashes of purple and gold. I clicked and typed and double clicked, getting as much information as I could about the guy.

He was an integral part of the school, mostly famous for being the school's design tech guy, media prefect and a very loud member of the LGBTQ community at his school.

He wrote articles, carried out interviews and was the school's ambassador and spokesman with nearly perfect academic and sports record.

His name... Kendall Akachuckwu Maduka.

That alone, set me on edge.

Days earlier, someone had leaked a rumour in the boys' group chat, through the notorious website... 'Anonymous messages.'

Make I shake table for here. The person had written. Asachi used to go to my school. Momsi caught her fucking her own brother. I have tapes if you don't believe me.

It caused an uproar in the group chat. Jemi and Kam had tried to do damage control on the whole thing by spreading lies about themselves but it's been seven days now and it's still a trending topic in the group chat.

Kam had silenced our doubts, not like I had any to begin with. Tapes or no tapes, Asa would never do something like that. He had ended up filing a report to the Dean of Students Affairs, complaining about the whole thing. I knew it was draining the heck out of him, because he had to keep all this from his girlfriend.

I wasn't sure if the rumour had spread to the girls, from the look of things, it hadn't... But I knew that by the time school resumes, everyone is going to hear about it.

The person responsible for that awful rumour had used the moniker... Ken-doll.

Kendall.... Ken-doll... It definitely couldn't be a coincidence.

There were other questions in my head, how he got into our school's groupchat, was it a coincidence that he had been in Afterparte that day? The exact day that was Asa's birthday. Those questions were at the top of my list.

Kosi had kept her Fifty million plus fans and followers updated about Asa's birthday, capturing everything, live on her Ig story.

It wouldn't be hard for a malicious stalker to keep tabs on Asa.

I found out as much as I could about him. Kendall Madu, Eighteen years, Ss3, star pupil, athlete, gay rights activist, media prefect...

More... There has to be more about him.

I froze when I saw it.

My fingers hovered over the touch pad, saliva thickening as dread rose in the form of a lump at the back of my throat.

I gulped, clicked.

I had found myself in the photo album of the school, dating five years back. It was a photo in black and white, he was standing with his best friend tagged in the photo... Brandell_Dooshima.

The surname was a dead giveaway but it was the picture of a happy thirteen year old Asa, on Brandell's back that sealed the deal.

Brandell was carrying Asa, piggyback style and Kendall's arm was slung over Brandell's shoulder. They were all smiling happily at the camera and my heart leaped at the soft, warm smile on Asa's face.

So... Asa had... A brother?

Did he know that his best friend was spreading these lies?

The photo was tagged, so I clicked on it and got transported to his profile page, his account sprinkled with live videos of him, working out or pictures of him, cuddling his puppy.

He looked like an okay guy.

I scrolled down the page, pictures he had taken way back, were cute selfies of him with Asa, walking their dog, in their school uniforms, blowing bubble gums, playing football.

It was all so cute, really. I saw a different version of Asa. Happy, bubbly, with radiant smiles and flowers in her hair. And her brother too... You could easily tell that they really cared about each other.

... So, Asa had a brother? Why doesn't she talk about him?

It puzzled me how much she had changed. From a happy, radiantly smiling Tinkerbell... To this... Ice witch. Her tight scowls, cold attitude. She wouldn't light up except when Kam was with her... And when Kam wasn't with her, her smiles were forced... Tight.

"Dear diary, I met a boy with the face of God... His name is Kam and I believe he's my saving grace."

Did Kam know about her brother? Did he try reaching out to him?

I hovered over the follow button on his page, debating whether to take this leap of faith.

In a flurry of recklessness, I clicked follow.

This was a link to Asa's past. Someone she loves and trusts. If there's anyone that knew how to stop this Ken-doll guy from spreading these lies, it has to be him.

I gulped, typing a quick, hey. Sent.

He didn't reply. He was online but he didn't reply.

I gulped, deciding to let it go. This isn't me. I don't go about, following random people and cyber stalking them.

You're doing this for Asa, I reminded myself.

Taking a deep breath, I typed. I'm Amir, friends with your sister, Asa. Hmu when you see this.

The reply came almost immediately. Asa?! How is she?

I was about to reply when the laptop suddenly went off.

I turned to Rashid, indignantly.

"What?" He asked, scowling at me.

"The laptop. It went off."

He rolled his eyes. "You think this is Offshore where there is twenty four hours light. The battery died. There's no light. You have to wait until the bring light."

"I thought you had a gen?"

"Broke down last night... Besides, fuel is ridiculously expensive this time of the year. Our fate is in the hands of NEPA now."

I frowned at him. He only laughed, stretching on the bed.

The door suddenly creaked open, Alex, Rashid's roommate was standing in front of us.

"Charlie, are we not going again?"

My cousin, Rashid had this drifting lifestyle. He travelled a lot and never settled in one place. When he told me that he'd be settling down in Lagos for a while, with his two travelling companions, I had thought he was shitting me.

It's been five months now and his love for Lagos State was as strong as ever.

His roommates were Alex, this dark skinned, stocky, beefed up Ghanaian, and Nadia, a pretty, doe eyed Senegalese. Their intention had been to backpack across Africa but they've fallen too in love with the country to leave.

I wonder why.

"I'll go," Rashid said, standing up. "You coming with us?" He looked at me.

"No." I mumbled, going back to bed.

"You guys! It's twelve already! Are we going or not?!" Nadia suddenly appeared, scowling.

Nadia was cool with a hipster chic edge to her aesthetics. She was all fedora hats, tie and dyed kimonos, edgy bobs and thick rimmed glasses, stuck in her hair. She read Rapi Kurr out loud and danced along to Fela Kuti and Snoop Dogg and played the keyboard skillfully and had fanatical obsession over basketballers. She was like that cool older sister or aunt you shared secrets with.

"Sorry, Nady, I'm trying to get Prince Charming here to go out with us." Rashid laughed, ruffling her hair.

She scowled at him, then turned to look at me, her face, softening. "Amir, do you want to come with?"

"No."

They all glanced at each other worriedly.

"What if he attempts suicide when we leave?"

"We can't leave him here alone."

"What are we going to do?"

They were whispering harshly to each other and I rolled my eyes at them.

Idiots.

"I'm right here, you know?"

They looked at me and I wish that worried, pitiful look in their eyes would leave.

"Guys, let me talk with him." Nadia implored.

They nodded... And stayed.

"Uh... Alone," she emphasized.

They shuffled lazily out of the room.

Nadia sighed softly, coming to sit beside me on the bed. "Hey."

I held the pillow over my head, pressing it down.

"Amir, stop being childish." She nudged me.

"Don't do that." I scowled at her. Housemate or not, my personal space was sacred.

She raised her hand up in surrender, and when I looked away, she dropped her hands, sighing heavily. "Rashid tells me you have a crush on a girl."

"Rashid needs to mind his fucking business."

She sighed, again. Shaking her head. "He loves you and he's just trying to help... We're just trying to help. Let us."

"That's what you all don't understand. I'm perfectly fine. I don't need help."

And my soul is hurting and my heart is bleeding.

"I don't want to lose you, Asa."

"I was never yours to begin with."

Memories of that night started flashing through my head. That awful night when I decided that I couldn't stay in that cursed house anymore. I couldn't stay under the same roof with that witch.

It was costing me my sanity. I was slowly sinking into madness.

I started going out late, trying to drink the memories away. Trying to drink the thoughts away, trying to desperately forget her face, but all I'd forgotten was how to think properly. The drunken thoughts were always of her... Always. Always.

My hands started itching.

"Amir..." Nadia's voice came again. "You're a good guy. I think..." She took a deep breath. Exhaled. "I think you're in a constant battle against yourself."

I looked at her skeptically now.

She continued. "From what Rash told me, you spent so much time, fighting off your feelings for her until it was too late... And now you've accepted your feelings for her, you're beating yourself up because she doesn't feel the same way."

I was looking at her now. She had my full attention.

"Did it ever occur to you, that all you have to do is take things easy."

"Take things easy?"

"You're a deep guy, Amir. Your feelings are literally in extremes. There's no in between. You feel too much. Love too much... Hate too much... You're giving yourself a hard time, Amir. Your soul is tired. Set it free. Take it easy."

"How do I do that?"

"Easy. Stop trying to fight it. You're human. It's human to fall in love and want to have those feelings returned, but if they're not returned, that doesn't mean you can't have a relationship with the person."

"I've already asked her to cheat on her boyfriend with me."

Her mouth hung open.

"It didn't go well, trust me."

She cut me off. "Of course it won't go well you stupid ice cube, that's wrong!"

I frowned. "But you just said-"

"I know what I just said, and I didn't mean it like that, idiot! I meant, friendship! Be her friend, you dolt! Why will you even suggest such a thing?!"

I opened my mouth to explain but she interrupted me again. "You know what, forget it!" She huffed standing up. "I can't even believe this guy. Fucking fucked up asshole." She kept muttering to herself as she walked out of the room.

It was quiet after she left and for the first time, it was quiet in my head, too.

Be her friend. Don't fight it. Be her friend.

I won't have her in that absolute way that Kam does... But I'm willing to give it a shot.