ⓘ korean is bold while english is regular! these will always be the same!

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"So I'm 23. Which is a big thing but guess what I'm here on live with you guys. You should feel special. Because I'm your idol......your only idol, right?" He asks, raising a brow before looking away from the camera. There was a brief pause before he looked back at the camera with a serious expression on his lips.

"No, but I want to have a heart-to-heart. I know I joke around a lot and poke fun at you guys but I'm genuinely thankful for you. And believe me when I say this.....my words that I'm about to say are sincere. I wasn't sure how I would handle this whole idol thing and being a singer whose life is out there on the internet for everyone to see but I think I'm handling it kind of well. I say kind of well because of the fact that I still struggle with a lot of things. A lot of things I don't want to bother you guys with right now. I just find some things hard and uneasy to comprehend or do. I guess I never truly realized what it takes to be an idol until everything happened last year." Beckett pauses, leaning back in his chair as he tries to gather his thoughts.

"Take this as a sign of me finally opening up about everything that has happened in the past year or take it as a sign that I need to get this off my chest and you guys are the only ones that I can talk to." He says letting off a small chuckle before sighing.

| user :: We're here to listen. We always are.
| user :: 천천히 해도 돼요, 우리는 떠나지 않아요.
| user :: 무슨 말을 해도 우리는 여기 있어요.

Beckett nods, crossing his arms over his chest before speaking. "Umm, so on August 3rd of last year, I released my single Beautiful Scar. Everything was going well each time I called and talked to my mom. After everything that happened after I wasn't there I tried to keep as much close contact as I could with being an ocean away. So me and my mom made sure to call one another everyday and night so I could check in with them. My mom always made sure I was informed about every little thing which I was thankful for. Call it overprotective or whatever. I just didn't want to miss anything if something happened." He sighs, his eyes going blank for a second as he sighs once again. There wasn't a lot that couldn't make Beckett cry, but somehow trying to recollect what had happened last year was starting to get to him.

"August 8. The phone call that night was different. Every phone call leading up to that night was the same. It was usually my mom telling me about her day, about my dad being painfully stubborn, what she cooked for dinner, just usually that type of stuff. But that wasn't this phone call. This time it was my dad calling from her phone. It confused me to say the least, but I was happy to talk to him and see his face." He pauses, his expression becoming distant as he recalls the moment.

"I was happy to see him smiling, and be able to talk to him somewhat face-to-face after months apart. He was being himself by making jokes and just being his usual self. The conversation was going great until he just suddenly stopped responding. I was scared because I wasn't sure what was happening. Her mom was silent before I heard my mom's choice. I don't know how she was so calm at that moment, but she was. All she has told me was that he had collapsed and she called the ambulance. I could hear the panic in her voice, even though she tried not to seem like she wasn't worried for my sake. The next few minutes for me were a blur as I booked the next flight to Canada. In that moment nothing mattered. The promotions, performances, my company. Nothing else in the world matters besides me getting to Canada to be with my family."

Beckett pauses, his eyes looking down for a moment as he takes a deep breath. "I didn't even pack anything. I just grabbed what I could and left for the airport. Everything else felt like it was moving in slow motion, but my mind was racing. All I could think about was getting there on time—just to see him, to be there if... anything happened."

| user :: 오빠, 진짜 힘들겠어요. 천천히 말해도 돼요.
| user :: You don't have to keep going if it's too hard.

Beckett offers a small, tight-lipped smile at the comments but continues, his voice quieter now. "I got there that afternoon after a 10 hour flight. My mom met me at the airport, and I remember how tired she looked. She tried to smile for me, but I could see everything in her eyes. She didn't even need to say anything. The truth was already there."

Beckett sighs softly, his hands fidgeting in his lap as he continues. "I went straight to the hospital. My dad was in the ICU by the time I got there. I can't even explain how surreal it felt—walking into that room, seeing him hooked up to all these machines. I mean, I wasn't ready for it, even though I thought I was. I wasn't. No one can be." A faint, sad smile flickers across his lips as he recalls that moment, though the weight of the memory still presses heavily on him.

He pauses again, his gaze dropping to the floor as he struggles to find the words. "But you know... he was still awake when I got there. And he smiled at me. Like... it was the same old smile, like nothing was wrong. He was always like that. He tried to act like everything was fine, even when it wasn't." Beckett lets out a soft chuckle, shaking his head as if trying to reconcile the absurdity of it all. But the smile fades just as quickly as it came.

| user :: 오빠, 천천히 말해도 돼요. 정말 힘들어 보여요.
| user :: Beckett, you don't have to continue if it's too hard. We're here for you no matter what.

Beckett glances at the comments, offering a small, grateful smile, but there's a sadness behind it. "I'm fine. I didn't leave the hospital at all during my stay with him over the next day or two. I guess I kind of assumed something would happen if I left." Beckett pauses for a moment, his voice soft as he reflects. "I think deep down I knew... I just didn't want to face it. But I stayed with him the whole time. Even when he was unconscious, I stayed." He offers a nod, his eyes distant as he remembers. "He always hated hospitals, you know? He'd always joke about how he'd rather be anywhere else. And even then, lying there... he still had this peaceful look on his face, like he was still trying to make it easier for us."

He chuckles quietly, but it's a sad sound, as if he's caught between the weight of the memory and the need to keep it together. "My dad... he was always the one who tried to keep things light, even when things were falling apart. That's just who he was." Beckett's eyes glisten for a second, but he quickly blinks it away, the sadness in his smile deepening.

"The night of August 9th was just me and him. He was just cracking jokes and making me try not to worry and for the most part it worked. I forgot about everything until he got sentimental, and one thing about my dad... he always avoided those kinds of conversations like they were the plague. But that night, he was different. He asked me if I was happy, and if I was proud of the person I'd become. I thought he was just being a bit reflective, you know? Maybe getting soft at his age." Beckett chuckles softly.

He looks down, fidgeting with his hands. "He asked me if I'd ever regretted choosing this path—being an idol, living this life. And I... I told him no. I told him that as hard as it's been, I wouldn't change it because it made me who I am today. I said that every hardship, every tough moment, just made me stronger. And you know what he said?"

Beckett glances back up at the camera, his voice growing quiet. "He said, 'I'm glad to hear that, son. I just want you to be happy, no matter what.' I didn't realize then what he was trying to tell me. I didn't get it. I thought he was just being...reflective, like I said. But looking back, I think he was preparing me. Preparing me for what came next."

His voice cracks slightly, but he presses on. "Hearing him say that was like a wake-up call, but I didn't realize it at the time. I was just caught up in the moment, thinking it was a rare heart-to-heart. My dad was never one to express his feelings or anything relating to being sad. That's just the person he was. At that moment, I let out everything I wanted to say to him. It was kind of a moment of weakness because I felt as though I didn't take that chance. There would be no other chance to tell him everything I wanted to tell him."

Beckett smiled at the thought, this time his smile not wavering. " What I told him was something that both my mom and sister had known for a while now. I hadn't told him because I was scared of how he reacted. The funny thing is his reaction made me cry. Not in a bad way, but in a way I hadn't expected it would. And I guess now is kind of my way of telling you guys what I told him. I told him I was pansexual and I just told you guys and to be honest it feels great getting it off my chest and not having to hide who I truly am to the people who I consider my family and who I love."

Beckett chuckles softly, shaking his head as he recalls the memory. "I remember sitting there, feeling so nervous to tell him. It was one of those moments where you just hope for the best but brace for the worst, you know? So, I finally mustered the courage and said, 'Dad, I need to tell you something important. I'm pansexual.' I remembered my dad paused for a moment, and I could see him processing it. Then, he just smiled and laughed, saying, 'Beckett, as long as you're happy, that's all that matters. I love you no matter who you love.' Just like that, all my fears vanished. I could feel this weight lift off my shoulders, like the world hadn't ended after all."

Beckett's expression turns a bit somber as he continues. "That was the last real conversation we had, and it sticks with me. I wish I could tell him more, share all the ups and downs since then. Sometimes I think about what he would say about my music, about this journey I'm on. I know he'd find it hilarious how nervous I was to say it in the first place. He always had a way of making light of things, even when they were serious. And on August 10, 2023 , I lost my dad. He passed away peacefully in his sleep, and part of me was grateful for that. I didn't want him to suffer. But the other part? It was a feeling I can't really put into words. Like...how can you say goodbye to someone who was your biggest supporter?"

"I remember standing there in the hospital, looking at his empty bed. It was surreal, like a bad dream I couldn't wake up from. I was supposed to be the one chasing my dreams, not standing there mourning the man who taught me to go after them." Beckett finally breaks as he cries, his voice growing shaky. "I guess I didn't realize how much I'd taken for granted until that moment. The laughs, the phone calls, the support, the lessons...everything. And I know my family was hurting, too. We were all trying to navigate this new reality together. It was hard. I didn't even get to say goodbye."

Beckett takes a shaky breath, wiping away a stray tear with the back of his hand as he fights to regain his composure. The silence in the room feels heavy, the weight of his words settling like a thick fog. "I remember after it happened, I felt lost. There were times I wanted to pick up the phone and call him, just to hear his voice again. I think about all the things he'd miss—the milestones, the small victories, everything. It's like I was carrying this void with me everywhere I went." He pauses, glancing at the chat filled with supportive messages from his fans.

| user :: We're here for you, Beckett. Always.
| user :: You're so strong for sharing this with us.
| user :: Your dad would be so proud of you.

"Thank you, guys," he murmurs, a fragile smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I've tried to carry his lessons with me. He always said that life is too short to hold onto regrets. So I've been working on that. Trying to live my life in a way that would make him proud, even when it feels impossible."

Beckett leans back, allowing himself a moment to breathe. "It's been a rough journey, to say the least. I started writing music more—like, really pouring my heart into it. It was the only way I could process everything. And the songs I've been working on... they're pieces of me, pieces of what I've been through. They're my way of honoring him."

He glances back at the camera, his eyes glimmering with a newfound determination. "I want you all to know that it's okay to feel lost sometimes. It's okay to grieve and to heal at your own pace. I've had my moments where I felt like I was drowning in sadness, but I've also found moments of joy—moments that remind me that he's still with me in spirit. And every time I step on stage, every time I perform, I feel like he's there cheering me on."

| user :: Your music means so much to us.
| user :: You're never alone, Beckett. We're here for you.

"Exactly," he replies, his voice gaining strength. "You guys have become my family in this wild journey, and I'm so grateful for that. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world, even the tough moments. They've shaped me into who I am today."

Beckett takes a deep breath, the air feeling a little lighter. "So, as I turn 23, I want to make a promise—to live fully, to love fiercely, and to keep pushing forward for both myself and for my dad. I want to continue to create, to share my journey with you all, and to remind you that life is beautiful, even in the chaos."

He gives a soft smile, feeling the warmth of the support radiating from the comments. "Hopefully it helps you guys if there's any lost you experience. But enough of that I need something to cheer me up after all that. You know it wasn't supposed to go like this. I was supposed to bake my own birthday cake and just talk with you guys, but I guess it took an unexpected turn. The funny thing is underneath this jacket I'm wearing the costume I picked. Spider-Man, if you're wondering." He says unzipping his jacket to show off the black and gray spiderman suit underneath.

| user :: Wait?! Were we supposed to dress up or something?
| user :: Did we not get the memo?!
| user :: Y'all didn't?! So I'm just the only one dressed?!

Beckett chuckled as he leaned back, clearly amused by the chat's reaction. "Did you not see my Weverse post?," He asked, raising a brow. "Aish, you guys never pay attention. I put out the post a few days ago. I know for a fact that one of you posted it on Twitter." He says pointing at the screen with a pointed look. He shook his head. "Next time be prepared."

| user :: Next Time post it where we can see it?!

He pulled out his phone. For a minute it was quiet as he typed through his phone before showing his screen to fans. It was indeed the X post that told them to wear costumes.

| user :: 😀 He clocked y'all
| user :: ㅋㅋㅋ

He stretched his arms out, showing off the Spider-Man suit in all its monochrome glory. "The more you know. Anyways, it was either this or a vampire, but, well, that would've been too predictable, right? Besides, nothing says I'm here to celebrate my own birthday quite like Spider-Man in black and gray." He shook his head, laughing softly before sighing. "I know that this live might not go on for much longer but I do want to do a few things with you before it ends. I want to look at all the birthday wishes you guys gave me on Twitter, Weverse, and Instagram."

He pulled out his phone as he scrolled through the flood of messages. "Alright, let's take a look." He paused as he scrolled as a smile made its way upon his face. "I didn't expect much but there are over 6,000 posts. And some of you have way too much time on your hands—I've seen the edits. I'm impressed, slightly terrified, but mostly impressed."

He paused on a particular message, his face softening as he read it aloud. "'Happy birthday, Noé! Thank you for being a constant source of light and comfort for us. You have no idea how much your music means.' Wow, that means a lot. You guys are like family to me, you know? You've been with me through every album, every tour, hiatus, every...black-and-white Spider-Man costume." He chuckled, eyes warm with genuine gratitude.

As he continued, he found another tweet. "'Happy birthday! You inspire us to chase our dreams. Thank you for sharing your journey with us!'" He smiled wider. "Chasing dreams, huh? That's what it's all about. I'm just glad I can be part of yours, too. Seriously, you guys inspire me every day."

Then he scrolled to another message. "'Noé, your music has been the soundtrack to my life. I can't imagine my days without it.'" He paused again, feeling the weight of the words. "That's... wow. I never thought my music would mean so much to anyone. Just knowing it's there for you when you need it makes everything worth it."

| user :: Cute
| user :: Did you see mine?
| user :: Am I the only one didn't post one?

"I'm still looking at them. Don't worry you didn't have too." He says before going through a few more heartfelt messages, he leaned back, looking almost shy. "I really don't have the words sometimes to explain how much you guys mean to me. Just... thank you for being here. For real." He glanced off-camera for a second as tears welled up in his eyes. He chuckled wiping away the tears as more fell. "I'm not being a crybaby. You guys know I'm usually a 'no mushy stuff' kind of guy, but... here we are. I'm just thankful for you guys. Sure we fight and argue all the time but you guys really mean a lot to me."

He took a shaky breath, composing himself as he looked back at the screen. "I mean it. You all really are my family. The way you support me, the way you're always there—even when I'm in my 'no mushy stuff' mode or when I disappear for a while... it's something I'll never take for granted." He let out a soft laugh, trying to regain his usual cool. "Alright, alright, enough of the feels. We've got a party to finish, right?" With a renewed smile, he shifted his attention to a small bag that was handed to him by someone off screen.

"Gifts. Some from my mom, Zoelle, my friends, even one from my manager. Surprise surprise Zoelle wanted me to open hers first." He says rolling his eyes as he picks up the gift wrapped in Hello Kitty wrapping paper. He raised his brows, holding up the gift for the camera to admire. "I mean, classic Zoelle move, right? Hello Kitty all the way." Carefully unwrapping it, he revealed a handmade, vibrant blue-and-yellow scarf, dotted with tiny embroidered stars. There were a few crocheted beanies in there as well. A note slipped out, and he read it aloud, "So you'll never forget that even superstars need to stay warm. Love, Zoelle."

| user :: Zoelle crocheting is so cute!
| user :: 귀엽다! 그녀는 자신이 만든 것을 팔아야 한다.
| user :: 거기서 뭐 사야겠다. 크로셰 뜨는 게 너무 귀여워.

A smile softened his face as he wrapped the scarf around his neck, letting the warmth of her thoughtfulness settle over him. "She's been getting better at crocheting. She's planning too. Thank you, Zo and alright, Zo, you win. It's perfect." He reached for the next package—a small, sleek box from his mom. As he opened it, he found a delicate silver bracelet, engraved with his initials and a short message: 'To my forever star.'

"Mom really knows how to make me tear up on live, huh?" He said, running a finger over the engraving. "I think I'll be wearing this a lot." He puts it on with a smile as he stares at the bracelet and holds his wrist up, admiring the bracelet as he moves his hand slowly, letting the light catch on the silver. "Thanks, Mom," he whispered softly, then looked back at the screen with a chuckle.

He picked up a slightly larger package with his friend's unmistakable handwriting on it. "Ah, I already know who this is from just by the way it's wrapped. You can tell when someone's trying to be all 'mysterious' with double layers of tape and the whole nine yards."

He carefully tore into the package, revealing a custom vinyl record with a handwritten label, reading Noé's Greatest Hits. The note attached read, "For the days when you forget how amazing you are. Play this and remember who's a star."

| user :: I need that. Make copies of it, please! 🥺
| user :: 🫢 놀라운

He held it up for the camera with a smirk. "I'm guessing it's all my own songs. Can you imagine if it wasn't? Like, my friend's favorite playlist instead of mine? I'll try to release it." He laughed, brushing his hand over the record fondly. "This is definitely going on my shelf, though. I'll make sure to blast it when I'm feeling down." He sets the vinyl record aside as he picked up the next one which one was from his Mark Hyung. "I already know what this is. It's these rings from this website I like. I think it's a nine piece collection." He says opening the box showing off the rings.

He held up a few of the rings, each one with a unique design—some sleek and minimalist, others with intricate patterns and tiny stones embedded. "Hyung really knows my style," he said, slipping one of the rings onto his finger with a grin. "It's actually kind of perfect. I'll be rocking these on stage for sure. Thanks, Hyung. Only 3 more presents." He says picking up the next one.

"From Daea Noona or as you guys know her Eriz. I think I know what this is."He says opening the gift and immediately laughing. He showed the camera that it was a lego trophy. He picks up the letter that came along with it. "To the biggest supporter in procrastinating, to the thorn in my back and the man that can't seem to start just in time. I wish you a merry day and hope that you'll celebrate your birthday at least on the right day, in the right way. Much Love and headaches, I.E.D." Beckett laughed as fans commented they were confused. "Don't worry your pretty heads about that." He says by picking up the next present.

"Now, my manager... he's not usually the sentimental type, so I have no idea what to expect here," He said, raising an eyebrow unwrapping it, he found a sleek leather journal embossed with his initials on the cover. Inside was a note, "For the ideas you're not ready to share with the world just yet. Take your time. — Manager-nim."

His eyes softened as he ran his hand over the cover. "He knows I always have a hundred ideas running around in my head. This is... yeah, this is thoughtful." He looked up, smiling at the screen. "I guess I've got no excuse not to write them down now, right?" He chuckled reaching for the last present. "From San Hyung." Beckett says flustering slightly as he opened the gift bag which a stuffed animal, a small  portable camera, and a photo. "I didn't know San Hyung would give me a gift. It's cute." He says looking at the photo smiling but not showing the viewers.

| user :: Show us the photo, don't be scared.
| user :: 오? 계속 보여주세요.
| user :: 👀👀👀

Beckett rolls his eyes. "No thanks, I'll keep it to myself." He says putting the photo and things back in the bag. After admiring the gifts laid out in front of him, he clapped his hands together. "Alright, Euphony, we've reached the grand finale. Are you ready?" He disappeared off-screen for a moment and returned with the extra birthday cake, decorated in simple but elegant designs with the words, "Happy Birthday, Beckett" written in delicate script.

"This was my backup plan, but it ended up looking amazing," He said with a smile, setting the cake on the table. "So, let's make a wish. Thank you all for spending today with me, for the messages, the edits, and just... all the love. Let's keep going strong together, yeah?"

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and made a wish. He blew out the candle after a moment, he opened his eyes, a smile on his face. "Alright, time to dig in. And don't worry—I'll save a slice for each of you," He said, laughing as he cut cake. "Here's to another year of music, laughter, and all the moments we get to share. I know that this live didn't go the way it was supposed to but I'm thankful that you guys didn't have a problem with it. I promised my next live will be soon and I won't make you guys wait a year for another one. Thank you for making this birthday unforgettable. Love you guys, for real. I hope you all enjoyed it. I hope you all have a Happy Halloween as well. Get lots of candy, watch horror movies, and just do anything you want to do. Also make sure to check your candy."

As he waved to the camera, he left them with one last smile. "Catch you all soon. Annyeong and Happy Halloween, and don't do anything I wouldn't do!" With a final laugh and wave, the live ended.