please listen to this song while reading this!

"you're like, how do i say it agh!" shawn bangs his palm on the wall.

"say it shawn, i wanna hear it, the truth." i said.

"you're f-" he stops and pulls me closer, his hand rests on my cheek as i look in his eyes.

"faded away." he whispers as the words feel like a bullet passing through my heart.

"does she make you happy?" i whisper with tears in my eyes.

"yeah, but i- 

"does your heart race when she's near? do your hands start shaking? do your knees go weak when you think about her ?!! tell me shawn, tell me." i blurt it all out.

"no." he wipes the tears off of my face, but its of no use.

"do you love her?" i ask

he nods and i close my eyes  and breathe out.

"consider me gone then, i want you to be happy. i love you and always will." i say and before he says a word i run out of the room and out the gate of his house. i stand there, i look up at the sky and my eyes fall on the balcony where we layed every night.

flashback

"shawn!! give it back!" i yelled because he took my nutella cupcakes.

"don't worry babe i love you still." he gives them back to me. 

we laughed and he went inside the room and got out blankets,pillows and a little speaker he owned. "balcony night?" i asked with my eyes sparkling. "yess baby, you love the night sky don't ya?" he smiles. "yes and with you, i feel like i'm in paradise." i say as he places the pillows and the blankets on the floor. i stand up from my chair and rest my hands on the railing and the wind blows as shawn puts on one of our favourite songs, i like me better by lauv.

he stands behind me and holds me close, this is so perfect. we are perfect. he turns me around and kisses my forehead before looking into my eyes, "there are 7 billion people in this world, so many girls i pass by everyday, so many but you're the only girl i know and love. i will never find someone better." i hug him tight as i have tears rolling down my cheeks.

"baby baby why are you crying?" he wipes the tears.

"i never thought someone would love me this way. never." i said and we layed with each other, just talking about us. 

flashback over

ah, lies lies lies. 

i am pregnant. i am two months pregnant. today, i came here to tell him that he is going to be a dad. but he tells me that he has found someone else. im ruined. 

i start walking as my phone buzzes, i stop walking and open my purse to take my phone out. I notice that i have the little box that had a note in it which said, "on my way daddy <3" i have tears in my eyes and my vision goes blurred. i get the phone and look at it, agh, katy my sister is calling me? i pick it up and say hi as i hear a loud horn and its a huge truck coming my way. thats all i remember before i scream loud and it ran over me. i was dying. my baby! i scream "HELP!" with everything in me, but no success. 

in that moment everything came back to me, shawn, the moments we spent, our baby who hadn't even took its first breath in this world. its all because of me. me. "SHAWN! SHAWN PLEASE SHAWN COME HELP ME!! SHAWN!" i cry as im covered in blood.

he actually came. he ran to me as my breathing decreases. i'm running out of breath. "Y/N! Y/N!!! Im so sorry this is all because of me! SOMEONE CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE! PLEASE!!" he cries. he takes out his phone and i stop him. i knew i would die anyways. i pointed my finger at the little box which was lying a few feet away from us. "that, r-read i-i-it" were the last words.

shawn's p.o.v

i ran to pick the little box up and read the note, "on my way daddy <3" no, no, no, no! "Y/N? YOU HAVE TO BE ALIVE, YOU SAID YOU LOVE ME, HOW CAN YOU JUST LEAVE ME? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I'M SORRY IM SORRY PLEASE WAKE UP BABY! PLEASE." I cried into her chest, not hearing her heart beat.

i screamed loud. it was because of me. "WHY GOD WHY? WHY?"

i just sat there, staring at her. i wanted to tell her that all of it, the other girl meant nothing to me. all that meant to me was her. only her. i layed down next to her. i closed my eyes and never opened them. 

with my hand in hers, and our hearts not beating anymore.

"we're soulmates."

'