"The Department."

(go listen to Moon River by Frank Ocean it's so good)

REAL LIFE

WALKER paced back and forth in his room, the quiet hum of the house around him only amplifying the chaos brewing in his mind. It had been days since the last time he felt like himself. Something was off. There was a heaviness in his chest, like a weight he couldn't shake no matter how many times he tried to breathe through it. He had tried to deny it, tried to tell himself it was just a phase, but deep down, he knew. He was off. And it terrified him.

His heart skipped a beat as he stared at the screen, that simple question piercing through the fog of confusion and guilt that had been hanging over him for days. The truth was, Walker had been feeling off lately, like something was missing, like the world around him was moving at a speed he couldn't keep up with. He couldn't pinpoint exactly when it started, but the unease was becoming unbearable. Was it the pressure from his parents? The unspoken expectations? Or was it something else—something more personal?

His thumb hovered over the keyboard. He had been meaning to call Zia. Really, he had. But the words never came. There was always something that needed doing, some obligation, some distraction that pulled him away from the conversation that had been weighing on him for days.

And now, there it was. Her message. She knew something was off too.

"hey walk, there anyway you could come over to mine so we can talk?"

Before he could do anything nonetheless head over to her house his father's voice cut through the stillness of his room.

"Walker! Get downstairs, we need to leave—NOW."

His stomach dropped. He wasn't ready. He wasn't prepared for what was coming next. His dad, already packed, was waiting by the door. There was no time to explain, no time to make sense of anything. Walker's phone slipped from his hand, landing on the bed as he stood up, feeling the weight of the world press down on his chest.

He grabbed his bag, his mind racing. What was he supposed to say to Zia? What could he say? How could he explain this sudden departure, this need to leave without any warning? Would she understand? Or would she feel abandoned? The thought of Zia's face, her eyes searching for answers, made his throat tighten.

But there was no time. No time for explanations, no time for goodbyes. The urgency in his dad's voice told him this wasn't a request. His heart sank, and for a split second, everything around him felt surreal, like he was moving in slow motion. He quickly typed out a brief reply to Zia—one that didn't even begin to explain what was happening. "I can't right now. I'm heading to the airport. I'll explain later." He couldn't even send her a text explaining himself.

The air was thick with uncertainty as he stepped into the hallway. His father was already at the door, his face set in a grim line, like this was just another one of those moments that Walker had no control over. Another decision made for him.

"Let's go," his dad said, already heading toward the car. (Fukkkk u pete 💔💔)

Walker hesitated, the lump in his throat growing heavier. He needed to explain to Zia, but how? He was torn, caught between the duty to his family and the guilt of not facing the person who had been so patient with him. His fingers gripped his phone, ready to send a quick message. He could tell her that it wasn't her fault, that he hadn't meant to distance himself, that he didn't want to hurt her. But then, the sound of his dad's voice again, impatient and firm, snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Walker. Now."

He had no choice. No time to clear the mess in his head. No time to fix things. He couldn't even bring himself to look at Zia's text one last time before he shoved his phone into his pocket and walked out the door.

The drive to the airport was silent, the tension in the air almost suffocating. His dad kept his eyes on the road, never once glancing at him. The pressure inside Walker's chest continued to build. He wasn't sure how long the drive lasted. It could've been an hour or just five minutes. Time had no meaning anymore. All that mattered was the weight of the unspoken words between him and Zia.

His stomach churned, the guilt nearly suffocating him. He wanted to reply. He wanted to tell her everything. But as he was just about to his dad took his phone away, something about not needing "distractions" and walker needing to pay attention. He stepped out of the car and followed his dad toward the terminal, he knew that words were no longer enough.

Zia had every right to feel hurt. And now, Walker wasn't sure how he would be able to fix it.

Back at home, Zia sat on her bed, her phone still in her hands, staring at the empty screen where Walker's message.

⁂

Zia's message lingered in his mind as he walked through the airport, the hum of busy travelers around him barely registering. He was on autopilot, mindlessly following his dad, his thoughts racing.

How had everything gotten so messed up? He wasn't sure anymore. But what he knew with certainty was that this wasn't just about the trip. This was about him failing to show up when it mattered most.

Walker had gotten his phone back from his father at the point and he stared at the screen, reading Zia's message again. His heart ached. He should've said something. He should've explained what was happening in his life. But instead, he had let things slip through his fingers, and now, in this moment, it felt like it was all slipping away.

He took a deep breath, his eyes scanning the terminal. His dad was ahead, oblivious to the storm swirling inside him. There was no turning back now. He was heading to Canada for training and filming because it starts soon, he knows he can tell her that she gets it but at the way she's mad at him right now he can only hope for the best.

He stared at the screen one last time before typing a reply, but before he could send it, his father called out to him.

"Walker, come on! We're going to miss our flight!"

He stuffed his phone back into his pocket, guilt weighing heavily on his shoulders. As he walked toward the gate, his mind was consumed with the thought of Zia—of the conversation they never had and the feelings left unresolved. Would she wait for him to come back? Would things be different when he returned? Or would this be the end of something that never really had a chance to begin?

⁂

Zia stared at her phone, her thumb hovering over the screen as she reread the message she had sent.

It felt like an eternity had passed since she sent it, yet in that brief time, everything had changed. She had known something was off. Walker had been distant—distant in a way that was so unlike him. The small moments they usually shared, the texts, the spontaneous calls, had dwindled down to barely anything. Zia tried to brush it off at first. Maybe he was busy. Maybe he had a lot on his plate. She told herself that, over and over again, until the silence between them became impossible to ignore.

She had asked herself if she was imagining it—maybe it wasn't as bad as it seemed, maybe he was just going through something. But then, the guilt had started to gnaw at her. What if it was her? What if she had done something wrong, said something that pushed him away? That thought had haunted her for days. So, she finally decided to take a step. To ask the question that had been circling in her mind: Can we talk?

The response didn't come right away. But he did eventually respond and said he was heading over, but after about 10 minutes he still didn't show. At first, she thought maybe he was busy, or maybe, just maybe, he needed a little time to process. But then, when her phone buzzed, she had hoped it would be him reaching out, offering some kind of explanation.

It wasn't him.

It was his dad.
(A/n:🌝)

"Walker's headed to the airport. We're leaving now."

Zia froze, the words swimming in her mind. She read them again, then a third time, before the weight of it settled on her. Walker wasn't just distant—he was leaving. And he hadn't told her.

Her breath hitched, her heart pounding in her chest as panic began to set in. The airport? Where is he going? Why didn't he tell me? She wanted to scream, wanted to throw her phone across the room. But instead, she simply stared at the text. (queen) She reread the words over and over, feeling each one cut deeper.

A thousand thoughts rushed through her mind—none of them making sense. Was this something he'd been planning for a while? Why hadn't he said anything? She had reached out, hadn't she? She had tried to talk, to understand, to get a glimpse into his world, and now he was slipping away without a single word.

Zia's hands trembled as she typed her response. She didn't know what she was expecting, maybe an explanation, maybe a reason for why he couldn't even say goodbye properly.

She stared at the text for a long moment, feeling the sharpness of the words cut through the silence of the room. She hit send before she could second-guess herself, but the moment the message was out there, the knot in her chest tightened. Was she being too harsh? Too needy? What was she expecting from him anyway? Maybe he was just caught up in something bigger, and she was blowing it out of proportion.

This was different. This was him leaving without saying anything.

Zia let out a shaky breath and put her phone down, trying to steady herself. Her mind raced with questions. What was going on with him? Did his family need him? Was this something serious? Was this about her? Had she done something wrong? Maybe he was getting ready for filming? But he would've told her that.

A part of her wanted to drive to the airport, to show up there and demand an answer, demand some kind of clarity. But what would that solve? Would it change anything? Would Walker even want to explain? He hadn't even taken the time to reply to her text. He had left without a word, and now she was stuck here, uncertain and hurt.

She closed her eyes, feeling the sting of unshed tears. She had never felt so invisible. They had been close—closer than anyone, and now she couldn't even get a message in return?

Zia pushed the thoughts away, shaking her head. She wouldn't fall apart. Not over this. She couldn't let herself do that. She had to remind herself that whatever was going on with Walker wasn't her fault.

Zia grabbed her phone again, staring at the screen, hoping for some kind of sign. Maybe a text from him, maybe a call, saying he was here or on his way. But there was nothing, though Zia's felt confused she was not gonna let him leave without saying goodbye. She immediately ran downstairs and told her dad she needed a ride to the airport, and fast.

CLEM SPEAKS
I sighed while making this chapter.
Few more left that's why I haven't been updating💔💔
I don't wanna let this book go sigh
Anyway
𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑣𝑜𝑡𝑒💕
-𝓒𝓵𝓮𝓶💕