"IKARIS YOU BASTARD, PUT ME DOWN OR YOU'RE GETTING FIRE TO THE ASS AGAIN!"

"Oh, not this again!" I heard Ajak yell as I tried to break free of Ikaris' grip. "What is going on between you two!?"

"This bastard just assaulted me and dragged me here when I was trying to enjoy my afternoon away from the madness that is this family! Like I have some dignity left, but that's all out the door because he frigging manhandled me here!"

"I'm not manhandling you, Vena." Ikaris scoffed as I punched his back repeatedly trying to break free. "Stop acting like a child."

"I'll stop when you let me go!" I huffed kicking my legs against his abdomen. Ikaris finally set me down on the ground and I kicked his leg walking away. "Asshole!"

"What happened this time?" Druig asked pulling me close to him. "And I don't appreciate you manhandling her, Ikaris. Unless you can live without your hands."

"Okay, there I was, minding my own business-"

"Bullshit!"

"I was! Anyways... there I was enjoying my time alone because I need to restore my sanity, when I saw him and Sersi." I gagged and Kingo gasped pulling me into a hug shielding me from Ikaris.

"Oh no. Did they-"

"THEY WERE! ON THE BEACH I SPEND MY AFTERNOONS TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM ALL OF YOU! IT IS TAINTED NOW!" I yelled and pretended to cry. "I was so scared, Kingo. So scared."

"You two corrupted poor Vena! This is unacceptable!" Kingo gasped and stroked my hair ignoring the laughs from everyone else. "There, there, little Vena. There, there."

"She was corrupted the moment she first opened her eyes!" Ikaris butted. "And Druig corrupted her even more!"

"That's where you're wrong. If it weren't for me, she would be completely unhinged and you'd probably be dead in a ditch somewhere. I'm the voice of reason in this relationship, she's the chaotic one. It's been like that for a thousand years, doubt it'll change now." Druig said and pulled out of Kingo's grasp. "So we have to find a new spot to watch the stars?"

"No, our beach is still okay. That's the beach Makkari and I go to talk shit about all of you and unwind. Now it has been tainted."

"That still doesn't explain why Ikaris carried Vena like a sack." Sprite chuckled. "And where is Sersi?"

"Probably getting sand out of her ass." Makkari smirked and Thena choked on her drink. "Sorry."

"You're fine. I just didn't expect that from you." Thena chuckled wiping her chin.

"This family makes me want to murder people, I swear." Ikaris sighed running a hand through his hair. "And I didn't manhandle her!"

"Yes, you did!" Thena, Makkari, Druig and I signed in unison.

I shook my head at him brushing the hair out of my face when I noticed something missing from my head.

"YOU BASTARD! IT'S MISSING!"

"For the love of the Celestials, what did I do now!?" Ikaris spat at me and took a step back when I stomped towards him. "Easy there, Vena."

"I had a frigging flower crown that the children made me this morning, and it's frigging missing thanks to you manhandling me!" I exclaimed as Druig placed a hand on my shoulder trying to calm me down.

"I'll make you another one, don't kill him. Too many witnesses." He whispered and I smirked when Sersi walked inside fixing her hair.

"I swear, the last thing I saw was Ikaris manhandling Vena and here you all are." Sersi huffed and looked at me. "Didn't the children gave you a flower crown this morning?"

"Yeah, your boy toy is responsible for it being missing!"

"Vena!" Ajak scolded me and I whined.

"They were doing it! In the middle of the day! That's exhibitionism and voyeurism at its finest. Like if you're going to have sex on a beach, do it at night where people won't see you!"

"Speak from experience, Vena?" Ikaris smirked and I shrugged.

"That's for me to know, you to hopefully never find out because I'll be scarred for life... and we live forever."

"Hold up! So Druig and Vena do that!? Because here I was thinking that they're relationship is as normal as can be." Phastos butted and I groaned.

"You have a terrifying mind control bastard and the terrifying and unhinged definition of sunshine. What's normal about that?" Gilgamesh asked and Druig and I snapped our necks towards him. "See? Terrifying."

"When did I become the bastard again?" Druig whispered to me.

"I honestly have no idea. And when did we go from talking about Ikaris to talking about my sex life? Just stop, honestly." I shrugged leaning my head on Druig's shoulder and he immediately wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my forehead. Sersi cooed at both of us and we smiled.

"Vena, Ikaris, apologize to each other." Ajak sighed pinching the bridge of her nose and we both yelled protests.

"Why should I? I just wanted to sit down and contemplate the true meaning of life before coming back here to deal with all of you!" I whined.

"And she was the one who walked in!"

"It's a public place and it's a free city! Believe me, it wasn't by choice. I have better things to do with my time." I spat and Ikaris lunged at me but Druig stood in the way.

"Want to try that again, Ikaris?" Druig asked.

"This doesn't involve you, Druig." Ikaris growled staring him down.

"You're about to hurt her. Trust me, it involves me." He shrugged and I smiled at Ikaris who glared at me with glowing eyes.

"Ikaris, I'd back down if I were you. Druig is a peaceful being until it involves Vena. After that, his morals go out the door and into the gates of hell." Kingo said smugly as Druig tilted his head smirking. "See? Terrifying, unhinged bastard and his equally terrifying, unhinged ball of sunshine."

"And what am I then?" Makkari asked.

"You're the terrifying, unhinged protector of the sunshine and the bastard."

"That's Thena, not me. I'm the other bastard who protects the sunshine." She shrugged just as Ikaris walked past us yelling profanities and Sersi followed trying to calm him down.

There was silence for a few minutes until Sprite and Kingo fell into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

"Thank you for making my day, Vena. I needed that." Phastos joined in and placed a crown on my head. "It won't replace the other one, but this one won't wilt. And it goes with the whole Aphrodite vibe."

"Adonis is losing his shit right now." Sprite laughed pointing at Druig who was looking at me in awe.

"Are you gawking?"

"Maybe..."

"You look stupid."

...

"How do you do it?"

"Do what, Sersi?"

"Keep the relationship interest after so long?" She asked and I raised my eyebrow in question.

"Trouble in paradise?" I teased and Sersi shook her head. "Don't stick to a routine and open communication, that's all the advice I can give you. I think that's why Druig and I work so well. That and we're pretty much the same person at times."

"Vena, you're the definition of sunshine. He's-"

"The bastard?" I smirked and we both laughed as a couple of children ran past us in excitement. "We were friends first, if that helps. We still are. Space helps... sometimes it's nice to take a little breather and spend some time apart. That's why he doesn't get mad whenever I leave for a few years to fight Deviants because it gives us the space we need and whenever I come back, nothing has changed between us."

"And jealousy?"

"It's normal the first few decades. He used to get jealous because I spend so much time with Kingo and pissing off Ikaris, but he also spends time with Makkari. Now I understand that because Makkari is our best friend and she's the mediator when Druig and I get hot headed sometimes. She doesn't meddle, but listens to our versions and keeps us distracted until one of us admits they were wrong. Took a few years, but Druig understands now that sometimes when Ikaris gives me a hard time after a fight, Kingo is the one who cheers me up."

"What's it like? The first few years?" Sersi asked as we sat down watching the children run around trying to chase Makkari and Sprite.

"Oh sweetheart, it'll be the best and worse years of your life! Sex galore, late night talks, random gifts during the day and just a full blown love fest. The tricky part is when the lust wears off. That's when you figure out if you're compatible or not. Because trust me, when the arguments starts, you're gonna want to run for the hills. Everything that you once found endearing, will start to piss you off." I sighed resting my head on her shoulder.

"I've never seen you and Druig argue. All I've seen is the two of you completely devoted to each other."

"We never argued much, but it was always away from all of you guys. When that happened, we both took a few days to cool down until we developed a system for it. Now if we argue, it's over him hogging the blankets at night and my cold dead feet and hands." I chuckled.

"And what's the system?"

"A series of questions. If we can't answer at least one, then it's because it was a stupid fight and we're both in the wrong. Believe me, it's a lifesaver."

"That's a healthy relationship if I ever did see one." Sersi chuckled and noticed Ikaris and Druig stomping towards us. "Why? Just why?"

"Who provoked who this time?" I asked and noticed their frowns. "Ajak scolded you both?"

"Thena." They mumbled in unison.

"More like Ajak scolded me and Thena scolded the bastard." Ikaris shrugged and I rolled my eyes kicking his leg.

"Only Makkari, Thena and I can call him the bastard. Not you, dipshit... But what did you two do now?"

"Ikaris was talking shit! I had to do something!" Druig exclaimed.

"And what did you do?" Sersi sighed.

"I may or may not have punched him in the face with Makkari cheering me on..." Druig trailed off. "Then Thena scolded me because Ajak was in the room, but after that, she just winked and left."

"See? A bastard!"

"Yeah, but I'm in love with said bastard." I chuckled and looked at Ikaris. "You kind of had it coming if you were talking shit... Now if you'll excuse us, Sersi and I are actually friends and would like to continue our conversation."

Sersi and I stood up linking arms and walked away from the two men.

"You sure you're in love with Ikaris?" I asked and she nodded. "And there's no way I can't change your mind?"

"I don't think so, Vena." She laughed and I sighed.

"That's deeply concerning."

MEMES: