𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘
(n.) the state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.
"serenity was something she never thought she could achieve, but finally, the gods took mercy on her."

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What was peace?

Was it silence? The stillness after tragedy? Was it the warmth of someone as they laid next to you?

What did peace mean to you?

When you were born in a war and thrusted into it, when your life is nothing but chaos upon chaos and blood on blood, peace was simple.

Peace was the sunlight seeping into the cottage windows, peace was the calmed panic, no longer needing to barricade the windows and hide in fear of being hunted and sold.

To Coelle, peace was idly chopping carrots in the kitchen and slipping it into soup, it was the sun overhead and the smell of food spreading in the kitchen, it was the picture frames that littered the walls and toys scattered on the living room carpet.

For once she didn't have to be tense, for once there wasn't a beckoning call or her needing to pull someone back from their death, no, for once she could just make soup and rice for breakfast, not just for her because as she glanced at the glass cupboards with multiple dishes both big and small, her heart swelled.

She was making food for her family, something that was hers, something that she could love and cherish.

She had fought all her life, was it so cruel to want to rest? To want something ordinary for once? To not be seen as an entertainer, a miracle surgeon, a murderer, a vixen, a heartless woman? Was it so bad to just want to be?

It wasn't too bad being ordinary. Coelle didn't mind being normal.

Little feet tapped onto the hardwood floor and small arms wrapped around Coelle's legs, a face burying itself into her dress.

The rabbit woman smiled knowingly, her white ears twitching and a soft, pleased hum leaving her.

She heard a muffled voice speaking into the fabric of her dress, “morning mama.” it wasn't a greeting, it sounded more of a statement then anything, Coelle chuckled gently and turned her head, looking at the small white ears and the little face that was pressed into her dress deeply. “Yes, it's morning baby,” she had to bite back another chuckle when the kid groaned in what seemed to be exhaustion or exasperation, “I know I know I'm sorry.” She grinned, adding the rest of the vegetables in the soup before tucking away the knife carefully.

The woman felt her child's hold loosen as she turned around and scooped her daughter up into her arms and smiled, the child gave a sleepy noise and flopped her head onto her shoulder, Coelle felt her heart swell again with affection at the young one in her arms, it felt real, too good to be true.

“I don't like the sun mama.” Rini groaned into her shoulder, “too bright.” She stated with a hand over her eyes, her mother was quick to support her a bit more, “you don't like the sun?” Coelle asked with a raised brow and a knowing smile, Rini nodded.

Coelle chuckled, looking into the pot of soup and taking the ladle, blowing it before placing it in her mouth, “the sun needs to go away.” Rini mumbled while Coelle tasted the soup on her tongue before adding some black pepper, “but without the sun the grass wouldn't be warm anymore, do you like cold grass?” the child buried against her shoulder shook her head frantically at her mother's words, clearly having strong opinions on the temperature of grass, “no! No, cold grass is cold mama, very cold. Cold is only for snow, and ice.” her ears twitched as she spoke, her words stern and pointed as if the thought of lying on cold grass was offensive somehow.

The woman smiled, taking another taste test of her soup, “so you don't want the sun to go away then?”

Rini shook her head into her mother’s shoulder, “no mama, sun stays.”

“aren't you quite forgiving, hm?”  she smiled, deeming the soup ready and so she turned off the stove and placed the ladle down, Coelle walked off and placed her daughter down on a chair, “go wake your brother up for me honey.” She said with a soft ruffle to her hair as Rini was more than happy to help, quickly running off down the hallways to give a very energetic wake up call to her younger brother.

Coelle set the table, just three bowls made of wood because glass broke far too easily with little ones and a plate of rice in the middle of the table, she poured juice and water in the wooden cups and sat down just in time to watch a 5 year old boy walk in, rubbing his eye tiredly while his ears were droopy in exhaustion.

“Did you sleep well Andie?” She asked with a smile, the boy responded with a yawn and a raised thumb in affirmation, his face dripping with water which led Coelle to assume he either washed his face.. Or Rini sprayed him with it to wake him up.

It was probably the latter.

The three sat down and began eating, the sun shone brightly and the sound of Rini and Andie’s chatter filled the air, Coelle nodded and made comments every now and then, the skies were clear and war was over, the lands were healing, and so was Coelle.

Snow had yet to fall and her kids rejoiced at the weekend, and soon enough Coelle found herself outside sitting beneath the massive oak tree with a picnic blanket beneath her legs and her white dress pooling around her while she kept a close eye on her young ones who were currently bouncing and playing in the grass, chasing butterflies and rolling in the grass with giggles leaving them.

The woman smiled, a sense of unbelievable sense of relief washing over her that they would never have to witness a war in their childhood, never have to fear being sold to the wrong person or even being hit.

No, not her babies. Her kids would have a good childhood- a damn wonderful one and she would make sure that they'd never have to suffer like she did.

She looked down at her lap, a book Mori had sent her ever since they had finally returned to the oceans, it was a nice little thing they had out together which consisted of the good news that was going on because Mori knew she wanted a little more happiness nowadays, no need to focus on the horrors right now, no, right now she was a woman reading a book from a friend while her children enjoyed childhood.

She was snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of familiar footsteps, Coelle perked up quickly with bright eyes as she stood up, quickly slipping her sandals back on and walking to the white fence she had installed some time ago.

Two familiar faces appeared and Coelle laughed with glee as the one with black hair waved over.

“Hey hey we're here!”

The teapot clinked on the wooden table outside as Coelle had situated herself on the patio, complete with a table and three chairs with extras stored away just in case, laughter and a chorus of ‘thanks’ echoed around her as she poured some tea in her own glass.

“I didn't expect you two to visit today, what is this some sort of birthday surprise you didn't tell me about? ” She said with a smile, her face was ever so slightly older, a bit aged with smile lines and yet she wouldn't change it for the world, she was happier now, so so happy.

Kal grinned, brushing strands of brown away from his face, “aww what? We can't stop by and greet our mom?” He joked while Mori could only laugh, nudging the man in the arm ever so slightly, “ey ey she's not our mom anymore, I dinnae if y'know that but she has kids remember?” Kal rolled his eyes with a grin, “yeah yeah it's not like we were at the baby shower eh Mori? Definitely not.”

Coelle rolled her eyes playfully at the two, taking a long sip of her tea. Before Andie and Rini came into the picture, there was Kal and Mori who she did see as younger than her and perhaps even her own kids, she was proud of them.

So unbelievably proud.

Kallias Georgiou Samras, one of the youngest squad leaders out there had retired early after an inheritance from an old friend, he found an actual job he favored then with enough cash ended up retiring, he didn't seem plagued by darkness anymore, or that irrevocable sense of dread that seemed to follow him around, Coelle could tell, his shoulders were relaxed and his eyes were as well, there were two rings that rested on both his left and right hand and the woman smiled, his partners did him well.

Morrigan Quinn, they were quick to go down in history as a popular sculptor after having been commissioned by Royalty and high nobility themselves, a curse was lifted and a pelt was returned, and now the selkie was welcomed home into the arms of the ocean and now residing once more in the kingdom of sea (which Mori says they'll take her one day) , they had gotten closer with Ondine once more and every letter they sent only spoke excitedly of all the new things that they saw in the kingdom.

They were happy, finally they were happy, all three of them.

Idle chatter filled the air, Mori and Kal caught her up on everything while they ektp a discreet eye over Rini and Andie who were currently making grass crowns on the picnic blanket.

“—and we're planning to travel a little, y'know the Human Kingdom has some new sights right? Besides, pink moon season is coming up soon what would be the harm in a ‘lil get away?” Kal grinned, his legs crossed and his elbows propped on the table and his chin rested in his hands. Mori shrugged, “wouldn't it be better on the beach-? Eh whatever, Pink Moon season ‘s only for couples so stop makin me feel single Kal.” They said with a joking scoff.

“Don't be bitter now Mori,” Coelle grinned, “but hm, speaking of your boyfriends- when are we having another one of our little meetings eh? Elijah makes good food.” She said with a pointed look towards Kal who chuckled, “I'll tell him to make the vegetable stew you liked so much last time.”

“oh and tell him to make those little savory octopus cream puff thingies!” Mori chirped, “they were delicious! What do you call them anyways? I don't care, I'll just bring the wine- I always got the good stuff.” They grinned while Kal merely nodded in agreement, nobody could deny that Mori had an unintentional eye for good alcohol.

“I'll host this time, we can have it in the backyard- I'm working on installing a gazebo.” She grinned, Mori raised both of their brows, “see, to this day I can't understand how you just casually build stuff, is it a calling? Are you a carpenter?” Coelle merely replied with a shrug, “takes too much money to hire someone else to do it, besides, why get anyone else to do it when I'm perfectly capable?” She smiled.

“Two kids and you can still knock down a whole tree- I think I'm scared of you.” Kal said halfheartedly. Coelle was still a force to be reckoned with after all this time.

The three talked for some time, at one point they had all engaged in a simple game of tag and Kal was quickly tired out by the energetic rabbit kids who kept climbing on his back and demanding piggy back rides, she laughed as she watched him raise them up for height boosts and caught them with big feathered wings as they fell off the branches, she watched Mori join in at one point- specifically laughing at Kal when he couldn't make flower crowns properly, disgraceful, but also incredibly entertaining as Rini and Andie decorated him in flowers and made some to take home, greater then any crown.

At the end of the day with a few parting gifts of fruit and vases,  Mori and Kallias waved goodbye with crowns of flowers resting upon  their heads.

“we’ll come back soon! But I have'ta go back and see that new café thing Ondine was talking about!” Mori waved as they opened the fence gate and began walking away, Kal did the same, “and it's movie night, it's Atticus’ turn to pick- seriously ever since we got our own home cinema it's been amazing.”

Coelle and her kids gave a final goodbye wave with Rini calling out to Kal, saying that the next time he came, she wanted to play more games, for a second she saw Kal's eyes- even though now one was scarred and blind -twinkle with happiness, huh, maybe he'd have kids of his own one day- eh, who knows? It would be nice for her kids to have playmates.. Or something of the sort, Christ was she going to be a grandmother-?

She shook her head slightly, her head bowing to meet Rini and Andie who tugged on her skirt and complained of hunger, she took notice of the time and hummed softly.

“Well, it's lunch time anyways.” She said with a soft shrug, opening the door while Rini and Andie were quick to practically kick off their slippers and make a mad dash inside.

“strawberries mama!” Rini cheered , while Andie, who's stature was shorter then his sister's, nodded and pushed himself up the couch and jumped, “yeah yeah! And umm.. Scrimbles!” He added in happily, Rini who was jumping right next to him, stopped to look at her brother with a quizzical expression. She blew her white bangs away from her face.

“It's ‘scrambles’ Andie, not scrimbles.” She stated.

Andie nodded. “Thats what I said, scrimbles.”

The girl's brows furrowed deeper if possible, opening her mouth to speak before shrugging and continuing to jump on the couch, “I want  scrambles too-” she said, jumping a tad bit higher and giggling, getting over the topic quite quickly.

Coelle only laughed softly at their words, “alright, scrambled eggs and some.. Hmm, sausage, what about that?” she asked, and upon hearing voices of cheers at her answer, she tucked her hair away and tied it up into a neat bun and getting a fee plant based sausages before getting to work once more.

Somewhere along the line though, Andie walked in and sat near the kitchen counter, Rini was current rolling on the floor in front if the stained glass window for some odd reason and he had just randomly began speaking again, a routine Coelle was fond of.

“Mama, can I ask you a question?” he started and she nodded, “what do you wanna tell me honey?”

Andie didn't really ask questions, he just talked, usually around Coelle and those he was comfortable around because he was quick to shut up around people he didn't know.

“so- when you like.. Umm.. When uncle Kal was playing with me and Rini he says- he said like, uncle Ijah and Tic would come too, like some day, and he says he's gonna give me a present- and Rini's gonna get one too.” Be nodded.

“Really?” Coelle asked, feigning surprise which made his eyes sparkle in excitement and nodded.

“Mhm! He says it's gotta be a surprise though because um- presents are surprises.”

Idle chatter filled the kitchen as Andie spoke, occasionally Coelle nodded and gave a small reaction here and there, eventually she finished and Rini tried as best as she coudk to help with setting the table and scolded Andie as he tried to steal a sausage.

Eventually the sun began to set and the moon had peeked out of the darkening clouds, Rini and Andie were clad in cotton sleepwear and the tips of their hair slightly wet from their bath and night routine as Coelle had a nightgown and a shawl around her shoulders as her bunnies dove into the grass- that was covered by a picnic blanket once more.

Shooting stars, they were coming today.

“Hurry mama! We might miss it!” Rini laughed, sitting on the large and thick picnic blanket as Coelle walked over with her skirt bunched in her hands and a firefly lantern in the other. “yeah yeah! Mama hurry!”

The woman smiled, “alright alright I'm coming, I'm coming.” She said with a soft chuckle, reaching the picnic blanket and laying down next to the two who were quick to cuddle up next to her as they stared up at the sprinkle of stars.

“Mama's slow,” Andie giggled, his cheek pressed against her arm while Rini nodded quickly in acknowledgement, “you two are just too fast! You don't want to slow down for your dear old mum?” Coelle joked back, Rini smiled and shook her head again in reply, “Nuh uh! You have to be faster mama! Really fast like.. Umm.. A lion!”

“A lion?” she asked with a raised brow.

“a lion.” Rini nodded.

“Lions are really fast.” Andie agreed before looking up at the sky and smiling brightly, reaching his hands out before pointing to a cluster of stars that made a constellation. “That looks like a lion!”

The kids took turn pointing out shapes in the night sky and Coelle told stories- legends of her village and what her mother told her a long time ago. She felt her heart grow bitter sweet.

Her children would never see their relatives.

She wrapped her arms around them a little tighter at that.

They were in the stars, they watched, and for a second, Coelle swore she saw a few of them shine brighter then the others.

Tears welled in her eyes and she smiled fondly.

She survived.

She made it.

She would live for all of them- her mother, her father, her friends who had fallen, her children. And most importantly herself. She found it easier to live now, easier to breathe, easier to just be.

She snapped out of her train of thought as Rini gasped loudly, shaking her arm and pointing at one of them.

“falling stars mama!” She exclaimed with utter wonder and excitement. “Where?!” Andie exclaimed with even more excitement.

Coelle smiled, watching her little ones practically sit up in wonder and point to the shooting stars excitedly and happily, laughing and cheering.

The woman stared up at the sky for a long time.

She had never seen shooting stars before.

The skies were always too dark, too dust filled. . And sometimes she didn't see the sky at all, it was the roof of a cell, a rich house, an entertainment club.

Now she could see it all, it was a sky of infinite wonders and beauty.

She looked up at the Moon, her old home.

No.

She smiled as she sat up with her kids, “look at that- beautiful isn't it?”

This was her home now.

Eventually, the meteor shower ended, Andie and Rini blinked slowly, and Coelle decided it might be time to head in now.

“Alright,” she said, standing up with her hands on her plush thighs and slipped on her sandals, “the stars have all gone to bed now, so we have to as well. Wave goodnight to the stars everyone.” She said while Rini and Andie were quick to hop in her arms, waving to the night sky.

“Night, stars.” Rini yawned while Andie just closed his eyes and waved goodbye.

Coelle walked inside, pushing the door open and taking a final glance at the sky, smiling gently.

“Goodnight stars.” She said in a soft voice before shutting the door behind her and somehow locking it with the same arms that held her children.

She walked to her room and laid Andie and Rini down on the soft mattress before carefully crawling between them, the two stuck to her side again as her shawl was hung on a nearby vanity chair, she pulled the quilted blanket up and sighed deeply, feeling the soft breaths of her children next to her as their weight pressed on either side of her arms.

She smiled.

It was a reminder that they were there.

And as she looked up at her ceiling again, her eyes closed, the final thought ran through her mind:

‘I wish this moment could last forever.’

Coelle was happy when she closed her eyes. Happier then she had been in a long time.

And the shooting stars outside heard her plea.

But unfortunately, they did not fulfill them.

“Simulation has been ended after 2 hours, subject is waking up.”

White lashes fluttered open and revealed glossy red eyes beneath them, a heavy gasp left the rabbit woman as she took a moment to adjust to the bright lighting above her.

“Welcome back, Doctor.” A scientist spoke.

A bitter feeling weighed heavy in Coelle's chest as multiple people helped her sit up and removed the suction cups on her temples and various parts of her body, the labgown on her body was cold and had a near plastic-like feeling.

“Astrovsky.” She noted with a quiet voice as another researcher held onto her hand and helped her step off and slip her feet into the slippers they gave her.

“this test run was succesful.” She spoke with a stern voice, no, it was no longer the warm one filled with love, no longer the one of a  mother's.

Now, she was Coelle Usagi again.

One of the most renowned doctors and surgeons on the Moon, a beast, a murder, a vixen, a cold woman.

“it felt realistic down to the multiple different periods of time you coded in,” her chest felt heavy and her throat treatned to close on on herself, she swallowed thickly and pushed passed it, it felt real. Too real, it was as if..

“Run the tests again, though with a different subject, I agreed to do this only once.” She stated with a rough voice, mentally cursing at herself.

She had to remember what was real and what was fake. She had to remember that it wasn't real, it was just what she wanted.

“We're honored to have you test out the simulation Dr. Krolik!” A young researcher spoke, his voice clear with admiration for her skills and excitement, “we believe it's groundbreaking technology really-”

Coelle rose a hand, her red eyes thick with darkness that his her own sorrow, “-yes yes, while I am very honored to have participated in it, I advise you show me the bathroom before I rip off how this labgown- it feels cheap.” She stated with slight and unintentional venom, the researcher quickly pursed his lips, a crimson hue flooding his cheeks before muttering a soft ‘of course’ and quickly leading her to the private bathroom where she kept her bag and her clothes in.

Coelle slammed the door behind her, taking deep breaths as she changed out of the labgown and into her clothes. A black sleeveless turtleneck and red cigarette pants that were baggy and loose.

She walked towards the sink, staring into the mirror before letting out a shaky sigh and washing her face.

Its not real.

She reminded herself. It wasn't real- it couldn't, it would never be. Something was wrong with her body and she could not heal it, a side effect from that damned cell.

Her eyes went glossy once more as she sucked in a breath for a minute, pulling she hands away from her face and caressing the flawless skin beneath, no smile lines or sign of age- yet no sign of happiness either.

She bit the inside of her cheek harshly as she let out a shaky cry.

It wasn't real.

She bowed her head and let the years flow, her arms shook, her heart trembled. It was a simulation, all fake, the happiness, the warmth, her kids, her love, her peace.

“It wasn't real.”  she whispered out.

Her body hunched forward, her hands in her face once more.

It wasn't real.

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- 4062 words
IRA SPEAKS: yayy it's done:D longer then I expected tbh, anyways how did you guys like it??  Good I hope, honestly I love Coelle bro I really do and I can't explain why. Anyways, uhh, stay safe ig 😭 idk, OCS come from pro_rps roleplay called 'Kingdom's Edge', it's a good rp, go check it out 💃🕺💃 unless ur already in it then hii:D okay bye-