╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗
❝ explain yourself, pettigrew ❞
╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

𝓔𝓿𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮'𝓼 𝓟𝓞𝓥
MONDAY, JANUARY 23rd 1978

"How're you feeling, gorgeous?" Evan asks me, plopping down next to me as I sit in the library with a pile of books to study.

"Like Lily Evans in her first few years of school" I answer in an exhausted tone "Only difference is that the boy pestering me isn't an arrogant toerag and I love him back already"

"Sounds rough" Evan frowns.

"Yup" I chirp unenthusiastically.

"I don't know what I'd do if Mallory kept throwing herself at me when we both knew we couldn't be together" He says sympathetically.

"There's nothing I can do" I shrug, closing the book in front of me "I just have to hope that he'll stop before-"

"Before he starts something like that?" Evan questions, pointing behind me.

My head whips around so fast that my neck hurts but I ignore the pain, my eyes zeroing in on Remus Lupin who is very clearly bickering with an angry Barty Crouch.

"For Merlin's sake" I groan.

"You should probably go and talk him down before he gets himself hexed" Evan tells me.

"Yeah, I should" I nod, still staying in my seat as Remus gets in Barty's face.

"Well, go then!" Evan huffs out.

"Or maybe I should just let him deal with that himself" I suggest hesitantly.

"Will you just get your arse up and take him away?" Evan retorts "Preferably before Barty curses him and they both get expelled"

I let out a frustrated groan and pull myself to my feet, quickly making my way over to the two boys.

"You think I'm not just as unhappy about the situation, Lupin?" Barty spits "I don't want them together either!"

"Well, you don't seem to be doing anything about it!" Remus counters.

"There's nothing he can do" I declare, causing them to both look at me.

"Evangeline" Remus breathes out, looking at me in surprise.

"I'm sorry that Regulus and I's arrangement has caused you both such a huge inconvenience, and that you're so fucking unhappy with the situation" I announce in anger "Because it's not as if we are both just as unhappy as you two, huh? It's not like Regulus and I are stuck in a bloody marriage knowing that we both are in love with other people, right?"

The boys both look at me through guilty expressions but I don't feel bad, glaring at them in anger as it bubbles over the surface after building up for so long inside of me.

"If you two would like to pull your heads out of your own arses for just a second, you'd maybe realise that complaining and causing arguments isn't going to solve our problem. You are only making it worse for Reg and I" I explain to them.

I then turn and exit the library, storming my way down the corridors of Hogwarts in a fast pace.

"Cub, I'm sorry!" Remus calls out as he follows after me "Please just stop running away from me!"

I stop dead and grab the yelling brunette in disbelief, yanking him into a darkened alcove that is out of sight from passers by.

"You have to stop chasing me!" I demand.

"Tell me that you don't love me and I will leave you alone" He tells me firmly.

"You know that I can't do that" I frown deeply.

"Then I'm not gonna give up fighting for us" He states.

"Remus, you're going to get yourself killed" I warn him.

"Then so be it" He shrugs.

"Don't be so bloody stupid!" I scold him in frustration.

"I'm in love with you, Evangeline, and I always will be. A mark on your arm isn't going to change that, nor is a bunch of pure blood supremacists who don't want us together" He declares.

"I can't watch something bad happen to you" I stress, my eyes welling up with tears.

"I can't watch you walk away from me" He counters.

"But I have to" I cry out hopelessly.

"No, you don't" He proposes "No one has to know about us. You can ignore me public, just please let me hold you in private"

"What if someone finds out?" I argue, my bottom lip wobbling as tears run down my face.

"They won't" Remus argues back.

Instead of replying to the boy, I wrap my arms around him and sob into his shirt. Without hesitation he sweeps me up into a warm embrace, kissing my head and I realise just how much I've missed being in his arms.

"I've really needed this" I admit through my tears "I've needed you"

"Well, I'm here now" He assures me.

As Remus holds me tightly in his arms, it almost feels as though he's picking up all my broken pieces and holding them together, fixing the crushing pain in my heart with a warm embrace.

"I'll always be here for you. I promise you that, cub" He whispers into my hair.

And just like that, with a few simple words, I feel safe and secure.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

As I'm heading towards the dungeons in complete exhaustion from the hard day I've had, I spot the skittish figure of Peter Pettigrew lurking by the entrance.

"What are you doing here?" I demand and he spins around in surprise.

"Angel" He greets me with a sheepish smile "We should probably talk"

"About what? Oh, yes. The fact that you are a traitorous little coward" I spit in anger.

"Can we take a walk, please?" He pleads, walking away and leaving me to follow him.

"How could you do that to your friends?" I question the blonde boy in disbelief, storming after him "James, Remus and Sirius love you like you're their own blood brother. Marlene has been your friend since you were both children, for Salazar's sake!"

"There's things you don't know, okay? Just let me explain myself" Peter replies with a pleading expression.

"Well, go on then. Explain yourself, Pettigrew" I snap impatiently.

"Have you ever heard of the Order of the Phoenix?" Peter asks me curiously as we walk through the court yard, down the hill towards the womping willow.

"I may have" I answer vaguely "What of it?"

"I'm a member of the order. So are the boys along with Marlene and Lily and Mary and all the others" Peter reveals and I look at him in surprise.

"You're all members of the Order of the Phoenix?" I question in an unsure tone as we pass the angry tree to head towards the black lake.

"Yes. And the reason that you seen me at your initiation is because I'm spying on the Dark Lord for Dumbledore" Peter stresses "I'm not really a death eater, Angel"

"You're a spy" I breathe out in awe.

"Mmhm" He nods quickly in agreement.

"Oh, Peter, I am so sorry for jumping to conclusions" I sigh in relief, wrapping my arms around the boy.

"I-It's okay" He stutters out in surprise, wrapping his arms around me loosely.

"So the others know that you're a spy?" I ask him, pulling away from him.

"No!" He snaps in a panicked tone.

"Why not?" I frown in confusion.

"Because Dumbledore is making me keep it a secret. He says the undercover mission is on a need to know basis. I shouldn't even be telling you, but I couldn't stand watching you hate me" Peter explains and I nod slowly in understanding.

"So you haven't even told the other marauders?" I question curiously.

"No. I don't think I'm going to" He answers.

"How so?" I ask.

"They'd just worry about me because I'm weak little Wormtail to them and they won't believe that I can handle this" Peter tells me with an annoyed look on his face "I'm sick of being the weakest link, Angel. I want to prove that I can be just as strong as them"

"You aren't the weakest link, Pete" I assure him, placing a hand on his shoulder "I believe in you"

He smiles softly down at me and places one of his hands on top of mine, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"You won't tell anyone, will ya?" He asks in concern.

"Your secret is safe with me" I smile warmly.

"Thank you" He breathes out in relief.