Colorado is humid in the summer. Just like when I stayed in Florida for fall with my grandparents in 76', except Florida is always humid. I would trade anything for it to have normal air here. I guess we just picked the wrong season to move to Denver.

My mind is blank as I watch the clouds in the sky, my body cold, my heart empty.

The thing that is empty is the slot for a dad.

I'm not allowed to see mine again.

Legally, of course, because I am now in full custody of my mom. She fought hard for me and my brother, Lucas. Ever since we moved, I lost emotion. Nothing excites me anymore and I will probably never be the same.

I don't believe in love anymore.

Love is a silly four-letter word that people overuse. One of those people being my dad.

He never loved my mom, or at least that's the impression he gave when he admitted to the suspicion of unfaithfulness to his wife, my mom.

He cheated on her. Technically, he cheated all of us. Me, Luke and my mom. He made us think that he actually cared about our family. He's like all men: narcissistic and money lusting (at least that's what I'm going to think about men for a while).

Denver is a new chance for me to give life one last try. I'll have to make new friends but that's the least of my concerns. I'm slowly growing up and that's what I hate. And I hate to admit, but I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my life, or at least until I'm eighteen.

I'm fifteen. That means five months till I can drive, one year till my mom will stop buying everything for me, and two years till I'm an adult.

I will forever miss being young and carefree. I'll miss begging my mom for the new Malibu Barbie or a pack of Shrinky Dinks because I wanted a keychain for my backpack. I'll miss everything about it and I will forever hate myself for taking advantage of it.

I wish I never wanted to grow up because if I knew what I know now, I would give anything and everything to go back.

Back to being a little girl. A little girl with a happy family, one with a dad and a mom who loved each other.

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