REBOOT

MINSUNG

⚠️ trigger warning ! ⚠️
you have been warned.

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reboot, and start again.

that's what they always said to jisung. they said that if he shut himself down as if he were a robot and started himself up again as if he were a computer being restarted, everything would go back to how it should be. could he say that it only made matters worse?

jisung would never tell anyone that he broke himself into so many small pieces that it would take centuries for someone to build him back together. he would never tell anyone that he was stuck in a mindset that his family forced upon him, one that made him believe that he was weak and undeserving of the surname han. he would never tell anyone that he was just a boy who was broken. because it was so much more deeper than that.

jisung knew that what he's doing is wrong, that it's sinful, but he had to do it. it made him feel human, it reminded him that he was someone with nerves, flesh, and blood. he did it for release. all his pent up frustration, anger, and emotion pouring out as a bloody canvas. he knew that his scars would possibly never heal, he knew that all too well. they were physical evidence of all the brutality and abuse he went through. physically, mentally, emotionally.

jisung's family believed that if you hit a person the right amount, that they'd become less human, and more controllable. they had managed to do so with jisung's older sister and brother, and that didn't stop them from continuing on to the youngest himself. he grew so used to the pain that he was uncontrollable, and maybe even to the point that he liked the pain. he would never outwardly beg for more, god no, but his eyes painted a different story.

jisung had stopped showing up to school. his parents knew this, and his siblings knew this. the boy stopped contacting his friends, and stopped using his voice in general. his phone blew up with messages of concern from felix, hyunjin, chan, and changbin. even people he didn't know would text him, concern embedded into their minds. jisung never replied, because he knew that if he pleaded for help, his parents would find out and the beating would get worse.

it even came to a point that his siblings would hit him; pull his hair, push him down, and kick him like he was nothing but a pillow. he grew into it. it was normal for him. he grew to like the pain that he was given. would he ever say that out loud? never. never in a million years because his parents would be disgusted with him, and they would disown him and he'd be left all alone.

had jisung ever thought about jumping out of his window? yes, yes he has. he never went through with it because he could barely move. he was so malnourished that he felt like he was slowly losing his soul piece by piece. which he was, realistically, but he was never given the right amount of food or water, and he damaged himself so much that if he lost anymore blood, he's either die or pass out. or both. jisung wouldn't mind either.

but one day it just clicked. after the daily hits and kicks, jisung locked himself in his bedroom, like he normally does, and with all the strength he could muster, piled clothes and other necessities he needed into a bag and flung it over his shoulder. he body ached, and dried blood was all over his body, the cuts and bruises rubbing against the bag fabric made him wince times more than one. he opened his window, though he struggled greatly, and climbed out.

thankfully the boy's room was on the first floor, so it wasn't much of a fall when he let his hands go from the window frame. jisung landed on the ground, his legs giving up for a couple moments before he stared at the wall, mentally taking a picture before resetting his phone and creating a new account where he would be able to connect with his friends without his family catching on.

with all his strength, he limped and ran slowly to the house he so desperately needed to be at. he was almost there when his body just gave out, and he fell limp to the ground, his entire body hitting the sidewalk. he thought no one was around when he fell, but not even a couple minutes later, a brown-haired boy gasped and ran toward the abused, damaged silver-haired male who lay unconscious on the ground.

he picked the boy up in his arms and ran back to his house, not forgetting the bag and phone that had fallen off of the boy as the brown-haired male picked him up.

he went by lee know, the boy who picked up jisung. his real name was lee minho, but he never used it unless he needed to sign government papers and such. minho had tried to legally change his name, but everytime he'd get rejected. no one knows why, and perhaps we may never know. at some point minho gave up trying to change his name, and so he just made everyone he knew call him lee know, and he would only use his real name if it was deemed appropriate.

jisung felt like a literal feather in minho's arms. it scared the older. as soon as he opened his home door, he lay jisung down on his bed and went to go prepare food for the silver-haired boy as he knew that he hadn't eaten a full meal in days, or perhaps even weeks. minho didn't fail to notice the scars and bloody canvas on jisung's body. he found the boy's body to be an embodiment of something that no one should have to go through.

no one knew why jisung's family was as distorted as they were. no one knew why the youngest of the bunch was treated the worst. not even jisung himself knew. all that boy knew was that pain is beauty, and that he liked that pain because it filled him with the satisfaction he never got from any other emotion. jisung often found that he was at war with himself. he would stare at his reflection and downgrade himself. he used to do it occasionally, telling himself that if he did it, no one else would have to. that he would be his own bully. and it worked, because his downgrading became normal, it became habitual.

soon enough, it stopped. his mind went back to enjoying the pain he received, and lived his life in imprisonment of his own room. not much of a life to live there, I guess.

minho attempted to open jisung's mouth and pour some type of liquid down his throat, to which he succeeded. jisung swallowed the warm broth of the soup the older made and slowly regained consciousness. it was the first time minho had ever dealt with something as severe as this, so when jisung flinched and tried to scurry away from minho's touch, it came to a mild surprise.

"my name is minho and I'm not going to harm you." minho spoke calmly, making the other boy shake his head and wave his arms around. minho found this to be cute, even though it was intended to be serious.

respecting his privacy, minho left the soup broth on the bedside table nearest to him and instead walked out of the room, going to lay down on his couch since his bed was occupied.

jisung found what the older boy did to be super kind and he found himself thankful for the actions he did. jisung moved back toward the side of the bed where the food was placed on the table. he picked it up and slowly took small sips, before engulfing the rest due to him being so malnourished.

jisung felt empty, like he needed someone's embrace around him. he knew that he just met minho, but he felt like he trusted him well enough to stand up, open the bedroom door and place himself on minho. the older woke up due to this and smiled to himself.

"what are you doing..." minho trailed off as jisung hummed in response. jisung had a strong grip on the older, but minho was rather uncomfortable in the position they were currently in. so he moved them so that they were on their sides, jisung facing minho's face and vice versa.

wanting to get as warm as possible, jisung snuggled right into the crook of minho's neck. the older had his arms securely around jisung's waist and he never intended to let go.

finally, jisung felt peace. he felt peacefulness and he felt safe. jisung knew that minho would be the one that he would become close to, for the fact that minho had seen jisung at his worst. minho found jisung when he was on the brink of collapsing, to which he did. and minho helped him. minho was the kind soul that decided jisung deserved to be found, cared for, and held in arms that would swear to protect him at all costs. it didn't matter if they had already met.

because it was like they did in a past life.