Please read the author's note at the end. :)

Sabrina Woods

It felt like my body was on fire as I climbed into the passenger seat of the large SUV.

My damp hands ran over my pants as I tried to wipe them off in a single, nonchalant movement and pulled the seatbelt across my chest. I struggled for a moment to push the buckle into the lock, furrowing my eyebrows in frustration as I stared at it and finally pushed it through.

"You okay?" Dave asked from the driver's seat. I jumped a little at the sound of his voice, my heart rapping against my ribcage like it was about to explode in my chest. I wondered if he could hear it.

"Oh, yeah," I said with a small smile. "Just nervous."

He nodded and put the car in reverse, pulling out of my driveway.

"I think we're all a bit on edge. Whatever happens though, the kid will be alright." he said. The tone of his voice sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than me, but I didn't mention it. I nodded silently, leaning back into the leather seat.

My hands were folded in my lap, and I couldn't help the incessant shaking that rang through to my fingertips, or the bounce of my right leg against the floor. I was incredibly nervous about Spencer's hearing, but I knew that wasn't why my body was screaming at me.

It felt like we drove forever. I couldn't think one thing at a time, and I was trying so hard to keep my shit together next to a professional body language reader. I closed my eyes in hopes of ridding the nausea building up in my stomach, and wrapped my arms around myself to better hide the shake in my hands. If Dave noticed, he didn't make it known to me.

What if Spencer really went to prison?

What if Nix finds out I actually did need the coke? I don't want to tell him I already used it all, and am withdrawing from it.

What if Hallie notices my strange behavior?

Was I acting strange?

What if Mags finds out I was doing coke again?

What if Spencer finds out? Would he hate me forever?

What if Michelle finds out? Would she take Hallie?

Should she?

Am I a terrible mother?

Am I considered a current drug addict? What if I just didn't do it again?

Do I have to go into a twelve step program? Rehab?

"Oh god." I grumbled quietly to myself, squeezing my stomach. I felt like I was going to hurl.

I could see Dave eyeing me slightly from the corner of his eyes, and I debated whether or not I was really going to make him pull the car over to let me out.

Before I could even ask him, we pulled into a parking lot, and I saw the courthouse come into view. I was stepping out of the car already by the time he put it in park, and put my hands on my knees in anticipation. I tried to breathe slowly, hearing the pump of my blood in my ears along with the constant ringing. Dave was next to me then, placing a comforting hand on my back.

"He'll be okay, Sabrina." But would I be?

I nodded and took another deep breath, standing upright. I swallowed the bile that threatened its way back up my throat and followed behind Dave into the courthouse.

The high ceilings were intimidating as we walked between the large hallways, and turned down another one just in time to see the whole team filing in from the other side. Emily was at the end of the hallway, walking to us quickly.

"I'm so glad you made it in time for the arraignment," she breathed a sigh of relief.

"What did the kid decide about a plea?" Dave asked her.

"I don't know," Emily said, her eyes filled with worry as she glanced between the lot of us. "I'm not sure he does."

"I can't stand the thought of him being in prison." Penelope said quietly.

"But five years is a lot less time than twenty-five." Emily tried to reason.

JJ sighed and shook her head. "He must be agonizing over this decision." No shit, JJ.

"Whatever he decides, he has our full support." Aaron said from beside me.

"He knows that. It means a lot to him." Emily said. She looked to me. "He's been asking about you." I felt my heart jump into my throat. "He also asked if I could convince you not to come."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. "What?"

"He doesn't want you to see him in this position. He knows you have a lot going on."

"I don't care. I'm going in there."

"That's what I told him you'd say." Emily smiled sadly at me, reaching to put her arm around my back and lead me towards the double doors as Spencer's lawyer said they would now be calling his case.

We all filed in, taking a seat on the right side of the room behind Spencer. I felt my heart start to pick up again as I recognized the mop of hair sitting a few feet in front of me. I wondered if this would be the day I finally had a heart attack, the way my organs rattled at the sight of just the back of him. Or if this would be the last time I'd ever be this close to him without something barricading between us.

"Case number 149-CR 0308, U.S. versus Reid."

"Ms. Duncan, your client is an FBI agent, correct?" The judge spoke to Spencer's lawyer.

"That's right your honor." There was a short pause before Spencer awkwardly stood up and adjusted his blazer.

"You're charged with murder, which is a very serious matter," the judge spoke to Spencer this time.

"Yes, your honor." I felt butterflies erupt in my stomach at the sound of his voice, and I closed my eyes briefly to stop the spinning that began in my head.

"Alright Ms. Duncan, does your client wish to enter a plea at this time?"

"He does."

"And how do you plead, agent Reid?"

"Not guilty." he replied.

"Thank god." Penelope whispered next to me, squeezing my hand.

"And as to bail?" the judge asked.

A man I didn't know the name of stood and spoke up. "The people oppose bail and request remand, your honor." A knot began to form in the pit of my stomach.

"Your honor, my client presents no risk of flight."

"That's ridiculous, the defendant was arrested after fleeing the murder scene in Mexico." he argued. My hands were trembling with worry and anger as I listened to this man talk.

"Those were extenuating circumstances," Duncan argued. "He'd been drugged against his will."

"By failing to notify the FBI of his international travel, the defendant violated the bureau protocol."

"My client presents no flight risk. He has deep ties in this community," At this point, Spencer had finally turned around to face us. His eyes scanned over the team until they met my own. My breath was aught in my throat as we stared at each other, and I couldn't help but feel like he knew. The subtle furrow between his eyes as he looked me over, the way his lips parted slightly as if he were to start scolding me. I couldn't breathe. How did he know?

"His mother suffers from Alzheimer's disease and schizophrenia and lives with him. He is solely responsible for her well-being. Additionally, he's been a decorative SSA with the FBI's behavior analysis unit for over a decade-"

"-And as an FBI agent, he has contacts all over the world." the other one cut in.

"Agent Reid would be willing to turn over both his personal and government issued passports."

"If he wanted a counterfeit passport, he could easily get one."

I hadn't realized it, but I was squeezing Penelope's hand so tightly she had to gently tap my hand to get me to let go. She gave me a reassuring nod and lightly brushed her hand soothingly over my arm. I felt like I was about to hyperventilate. Or pass out. Possibly both.

"He has no criminal history." Duncan continued to fight for Spencer through gritted teeth.

"The defendant is uniquely situated to evade law enforcement should he flee the jurisdiction-"

"-Your honor, he wants to stay here and clear his good name."

"He should have thought about his good name before sneaking across the border."

"For fucks sakes, shut the hell up." I muttered, earning a pinch from Penelope and a quick side eye from Aaron.

"I'm prepared to present multiple law enforcement character witnesses on his behalf right now. The witnesses are here in the courtroom, all highly respected FBI agents."

"Simmer down, Ms. Duncan," The judge finally interrupted. "it's almost 6 o'clock and I am not inclined to hear from character witnesses," I gaped at her as she turned her attention to Spencer. "Actions speak louder than words, I always say. " As Duncan tried to offer a strict curfew as a means to achieve bail, it felt like my ears became plugged after the judge shook her head, announcing the bail had been denied.

I could see Emily's mouth move as she asked his lawyer something, but I couldn't hear anything as I stared at the officer locking the handcuffs around Spencer's wrists. Suddenly, everything was blurry. At first, I thought it was from my tears, but it soon became clear that my body was falling to the ground. How embarrassing.

Spencer Reid

Sabrina's name was all I managed to blurt out at first in the midst of the chaos that emitted around us as her body collapsed. Garcia was holding on to her arm as she fell while Hotch ran behind her to cradle her head. So many things were happening all at once that I didn't realize I was struggling against the officer to keep from walking forward, away from her.

"JJ!" I called over the ruckus, my legs starting to move with the officer. Her eyes met mine and she nodded instantly, having already known what I was going to say.

Make sure she's okay.

As I was escorted through the doors, I felt how hard I was breathing, my neck still craned backwards to see her for as long as I could.

My mind managed to focus on still images of her sitting behind me only minutes ago. She looked sickly, like I'd never seen her before. When we'd first met, it was obvious she didn't get enough sleep, but this.... this was different.

Her hair was unusually dry and messy, her eyes were even more sunken in than they were before. The dark circles under her eyes were turning a purplish shade, and I wondered if it was me that had caused her to look like this- had my situation stressed her out past the point of return? Another thought that crossed my mind, was drugs- my first initial impression of her, but I was wrong then, so I had to be wrong now.... Right? Or had I pushed her over an edge? Was something else going on that I didn't know about? Did something happen to Hallie? Had she received more letters?

The swarm of thoughts that circled around my brain was like a bug buzzing in my ears, and I squeezed my eyes shut to try and ease it. She had told me briefly about the things she had done when she was younger, but I didn't think she would have fallen back into that hole. Not alone, at least.

My thoughts immediately turned to Nix and I let out a quiet, exasperated sigh. Could he have done something to her? Given her something? I wasn't really sure how Sabrina felt about him now that he was back in the picture- if she was still in love with him. She had told me how she was with him when they were younger... love can make you do stupid things. I felt a small tug at my heart at the thought of them together, while I'd be sitting behind bars.

This is probably where Nix should be.

I shook my head quickly to rid that thought. He was Hallie's father, and if Sabrina wanted him to be apart of her daughter's life, then he should. I didn't think I possessed the ability to be jealous about someone I wasn't in a relationship with, but I didn't know how else to explain the feeling in the pit of my stomach, or the burn in my chest when I thought of the two of them.

At this point, after seeing her fall to the ground right in front of my eyes, I knew something was going on and I needed to talk to her soon.

I couldn't help the irritation I felt that began to flare as I continued to think about Sabrina being in the courtroom. I had told Emily not to let her come, but I should've known she was too stubborn to listen.

I was mindlessly following the officer at this point, trying to pinpoint exactly how I felt about Sabrina. I'd made a daring move the other night, declaring I would finish what we started. I briefly closed my eyes in, what felt mostly like, embarrassment as I thought about saying it to her, hearing her cries on the other line. It didn't matter that I'd heard her cry many times before, I still hated it, especially when I was the one causing them; intentionally or not.

In the short months that I'd known her, I never could put my finger on exactly what it was about her that made her seem so much more.... special, than anyone else I'd ever met. The way she'd tug at the strands of her hair while she talked, deep in thought; the bright smile on her face whenever she walked into a room, lighting any ill-lit space like daylight in a solarium. I'd memorized all of the freckles that covered her nose and cheeks, counting them over and over again when we were close enough. The last time I counted, there were two more than the time before. She blushed when I mentioned it.

As my thoughts of Sabrina finally started to slow and settle, my eyes adjusted to what I was doing with the officer. We were getting ready to head onto a bus, and I remembered, I was on my way to prison.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
AUTHORS                                    NOTE.

A/N: GUYS OMG THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THE LOVE & THE VOTES!! Summer & Salt is STILL trending #1 in Minds! (today is day 4!) My highest rating so far!!

I know I said I didn't want to get into the habit of making short(er) updates, but I just finished my summer course last night (WITH AN A GUYS!) and wanted to get this out there before my fall semester starts. Usually I write about 3k-4k words but I think this is only about 2k.

Also, A LOT OF YOU WERE MAD AT ME BECAUSE SABRINA DID SOME COKE. :(( Yes, she is a mother, and yes, she has responsibilities. We must remember that Sabrina carries a tremendous amount of trauma from a very young age that she never really dealt with, and addicts tend to fall back onto bad habits when faced with overwhelming situations; especially considering she never even got help for her addiction. She is human, and is going to make mistakes sometimes. :( I do have a lot of experience in the world of addiction (not myself besties), so I tried to make this as realistic as possible.

But, as always, I absolutely love to hear your feedback, whether it's slander or not! LOL. And I love each and every one of you! Thank you to all of my new and existing readers. Your votes & comments always encourage me to keep going and write the best story I can! <3

-Ry

▀▀▀▀▀
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀