TW:(SPOILER)

(please only read this note if you know you have strong triggers, as I do not want to spoil the chapter)

TW: DRUG USE

Sabrina Woods

I clasped one hand around my mouth and the other over my chest as my eyes adjusted to the figure in front of me.

"What the fuck are you doing in here?" I whisper-yelled.

KJ's eyes widened as he looked at me and turned away slightly while he answered. "I- I've been trying to call you. We need to talk."

At that moment, I realized I was stark naked. My cheeks heated up in an instant and I grabbed the robe that hung next to the shower stall.

"Usually when someone doesn't answer the phone, it means they don't want to talk." I muttered, crossing my arms defensively over my chest.

He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck.

"It's important."

I raised my eyebrows in disbelief. "So you climb through my bathroom window?! At least come through the hallway window, you'd have a better chance of me not walking through there naked." I muttered.

With a frustrating jerk of my hand, I motioned for him to exit the bathroom.

"What are you doing hanging around Nix Dalton? He's bad news." he asked as he placed himself on the edge of my bed, his eyes roaming over the spilled contents of my purse.

I rolled my eyes. "KJ, this is literally not the time. What is so important you couldn't come to the front door to talk to me about?" I asked in annoyance.

"We have to talk about Sam." he said slowly, quietly.

My chest instantly tightened and I shook my head quickly, closing my eyes.

"I can't right now." I said.

"Sabrina, you-"

"I said I can't!" I exclaimed, my heart hammering against my ribcage. "I can't. Not.... not right now."

We stared at each other for a moment, my mind reeling once again with thoughts of my sister.

"When, then? Is she no longer a priority to you?" he asked, malice laced like venom in his words. "When did you stop caring?"

My blood began to boil as I clenched my fingers around the chair I was sitting in.

"She's dead, KJ," I said lowly, a ringing beginning to sound in my ears. "I have to worry about the living, right now. And right now, everything has gone to shit."

He opened his mouth to reply, but I cut him off. "Do you hear me? Absolute shit. I can't seem to get rid of whoever is sending me letters; a person I care deeply about is in jail, possibly going to prison; my daughter's father is back in the picture trying to coax me into allowing him to see her; my best friend is going through something so traumatic I can't even face her," I was breathing so hard I could feel my throat becoming dry. "And you have the audacity to break into my house and accuse me of not caring about my dead sister?"

I didn't have to look in a mirror to see how red my face was, I could feel my cheeks stinging as I looked at my best friends brother. Silence fell over us as we stared at each other, and I searched his eyes for anything other than pity.

"I already had to kick one man out of my house tonight," I practically growled. "Don't make me have to do it twice."

Without another word, he stood up. His eyes met mine once more before storming through my bedroom door. I didn't follow him out, but heard the slam of the front door.

I released a breath I didn't realize I was holding and walked to Hallie's room, checking to make sure she hadn't been woken up by all the commotion. When I saw she was still fast asleep, I made sure to lock all of the windows and the doors in the house.

I finally made my way back into the bathroom, turning the shower on to a scolding temperature.

I managed to step inside, only to sit on the tiled floor, my back resting on the wet shelf as I brought my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.

I couldn't shut it off. Everything was spinning, my worries were playing on a loop in my head. I wanted to scream. I wanted something- anything to relieve the ache in my chest as I thought of my sister, Spencer, Michelle, Nix.. everyone. It was too much.

I could no longer hear the sobs escaping my lips when the water finally ran cold against my skin. I shakily stood up and turned off the faucet, wrapping myself into a towel.

Everything was still spinning when I walked out of the bathroom and reached for my phone on my bed amongst the mess. I started to pick it all up, shoving it back into my purse. As I moved the items, my fingers brushed across an unfamiliar plastic bag stuck under my makeup bag. I tugged it free, my eyes staring at the white substance spread inside it.

I stared at it for what seemed like forever.

Nix, you little shit.

Everything I had told Nix earlier had been tossed out the window as I opened the small 2x3 zip-lock bag. I slowly stuck my finger into the dust, a tingling sensation soaring through me as I was met with the familiar feel of its grittiness.

Just this once. It doesn't have to be a thing if you don't make it one.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I'd pulled my finger back out, turning it over in my nose, and inhaled. 

Holy shit, did it burn.

My eyes began to water while I sniffled and used my clean hand to run below my nose to try and ease the burn that flew up my nostril and clung to the top of my throat.

I opened the drawer of my nightstand and stuffed the bag under my intimates and proceeded to clear the remnants of clutter on my bed back into my purse.

I pulled on an old t-shirt, letting my body become numb of emotion as it switched to autopilot.

After ten minutes, my heart was beating rapidly in my throat, my fingers were shaking with anticipation and my ears were on high alert as I relished in the familiar feeling of nothing. There was a fire that began burning in the pit of my stomach, spreading warmth through my entire body.

Nix always used to say I was a "butterfly on steroids" while I was high when I was young: Weightless but sure as shit fast and powerful. He'd  said he'd never seen anyone react to cocaine the way I did-I still believed it was true as my mind danced with familiar darkness, the escape of all my problems like jumping through a black hole into nothingness. Whereas others would surge with energy, my body would relax- focus, even. I'd be able to run a marathon with this shit if I wanted to, and I didn't even exercise.

Although my chest kept tightening, I paid it no mind. I couldn't help the smile that adorned my face as I organized my messy closet, cleaned the dirty kitchen, picked up all of Hallie's toys.

There was no pain, no worry, no.... anything. I was simply doing; doing what needed to be done.

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A/N: Sorry again for the short chapter, I'm trying not to make a habit of doing that but I couldn't leave you guys on a cliffhanger for too long and don't have time to finish writing what I would have put in this chapter, so it'll be in the next chapter.

WE HIT 12k!!!!!!!! you guys are amazing. thank you so much. all of your votes & comments keep me going!!!

PS- If any of you are TWD Fans and dig Daryl Dixon, check out my new fic "Eiye On Fire" :))))

(If you haven't caught on already, I have a thing for older men, apparently.... lol.)

As always, love you all and thank you so much for keeping this story alive!!

-Ry❤️