❪ 𝗚𝗢𝗢𝗗 𝗘𝗡𝗢𝗨𝗚𝗛 ❫

𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗈𝗇𝖾 ━━━━━━━━━━━━━
the unknown.  ╱  season three, episode one.

LIVING THROUGH AN apocalypse feels like a whole lifetime has passed to Toby. Time is a concept that doesn't exist in the day to day he lives. Hours, minutes, seconds, it all meshes into one another, it's all so pointless. Toby feels like he's living on borrowed time, and he's just waiting for time to catch up to him. There is nothing but fear and coldness that runs through Toby at any given moment, he doesn't know what his future holds. In a matter of a second, one thing can change everything. Death doesn't wait for you to be ready, it just happens.

Anxiety ticks in his stomach, just waiting for everything he has to be ripped away from him. There's no sense of security, just a trail of one place after another. He can't feel safe, he can only feel the impending loss of being ripped away from his temporary surroundings.

He can feel himself losing hope, he can feel himself fading away. There's no more hoping for a refuge, a sanctuary. It's only a matter of time before it gets taken away. Nothing is permanent in this world, everything is temporary. The place you lay your head at night, the people you're surrounded with, your own life, nothing will stay the same. You'll just move from place to place until you eventually die or get killed. The ending you have is nothing but pain, there's no peaceful death, you'll always die at the hands of someone who wants you dead.

Toby likes to think he accepted his fate, he knows one day everything will just end, and he will no longer have to deal with the constant disappointment his life brings. The day is unknown, but he's conscious that his clock is ticking, and one day it will eventually run out.

He had always hoped he would be remembered, he wanted people to know who he was, he wanted people to care about who he was. But now he's just a little blip in the population of survivors. There's no longer anyone there to remember him, he's as insignificant as they come. One day he'll be gone and only three people will remember who he was, that's not what he wanted. He wanted his life to have meaning, he wants to fight for a purpose. And currently, he's just fighting for his life, fighting for his brother's life. He's not making a difference, he's just trying to survive.

He just wants to mean something to someone, he feels trapped in his own mind. There was never someone that he could truly express himself too. And the people around him probably wouldn't want to hear his depressing teenage angst, he wants someone that could listen and understand. But being stuck with two middle-aged women and a little boy makes the possibility of that happening non-existent. For now, he just stays locked in his mind, his pen always glued to his notebook that was filled with tragic and depressing drawings and doodles he had drawn over the past eight months.

After moving on from place to place, his journal was the only thing that stayed consistent, the entries, the drawings, they always stayed there. They didn't fade away. They gave him comfort in the harsh quiet and heavy tension that filled the world. It was his little escape, and it would always be there for him when he needed that little moment to himself. There wasn't a moment where that journal wasn't attached to his side, it always stayed tucked away in his bag, just in case their current place of solitude got compromised. He didn't trust anyone enough for them to see the contents of his journal, he just didn't have it in him to show them the true side of him.

He was scared of showing people the bad and ugly of himself, the deep-seated pain he held, he felt people could never truly accept how dark and cold his heart was. He feared that people would take one look at who he really was and then run in the other direction. So he built up walls, and those walls kept him protected from future heartbreak, from future loss. He was so scared of getting too close to someone, to watch them get ripped away from him. He knew he needed to get better, but he felt much safer trapping himself behind his walls.

He didn't have much hope for his future at the moment, being stuck in a hunting business—specifically, the freezer part of it—wasn't exactly ideal. And keeping an eye on a woman struggling with a really bad illness was like the cherry on the top of his worst nightmare. He always had to be hyper-aware of everyone around him, while he tended to Andrea, he simultaneously had to keep a watchful eye on his brother and keep him a safe distance away from the contagious woman. He was very cautious with his little brother since the boy had a compromised immune system and was very susceptible to getting sick. And of course, while Michonne went off on runs, he had to stay with them and hold down the fort.

Toby always thought he was never the caring type, he thought he was absolutely awful at everything that had to do with comforting someone. It was something that made his skin crawl and always thought he was garbage at making people feel better. And so he was cold with Andrea as she became sick, he did what he had to do but never took off his mask. Always scared that he would only make her feel worse.

Toby's relationship with Andrea's a little weird, while they are somewhat close, he has mixed feelings about her. Some days he appreciates her company but other times—and this is a lot of the time—he's annoyed with her almost smug attitude. It makes his skin itch and it makes him want to scream. He's never seen someone quite like her in the apocalypse, he's never seen someone so...oddly sure of herself in a world full of uncertainty. In a way, it makes her almost gullible in his eyes. He believes deep down she's a good person but her almost arrogance overpowers it. And he prays that it won't be her downfall. But he has a feeling it might be.

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THE DAY GOES BY like any other, Toby occasionally glances up from his journal to keep an eye on the two other people residing with him. While his little brother is hunched over a coloring book, aggressively filling in the colorless spaces, Andrea decided to venture out of the freezer and into the hall to get some "light". Toby said nothing to the woman when she mentioned she was getting up, he just hazily nodded his head while still looking at the random doodles in his notebook.

Today had been a little hotter than he had liked, and he kept having to wipe sweat droplets off of his brow before it dripped onto his page. Toby was feeling a little knot in the middle of his back, it began throbbing when he woke up this morning and it never faded like he wished it did. He guesses that all the months of sleeping on the floor finally had caught up to him. He was also a little disappointed that he had to stay behind with Miss Contagious and his little brother, he would much rather be out going on that quick run with Michonne. But he had to stay back, which annoyed him to no end.

He felt like he hadn't seen daylight in ages, he misses the glow of the Georgia sun washing over his skin. The fresh air he once breathed in was now replaced with the stench of mildew and old deer carcasses. Even though they cleaned the freezer out once they arrived the smell still lingers. They'd been holed up here for he believes a few weeks now, time really isn't a concept to him anymore. But he hopes they'd be leaving soon, cause he can only stare at the dark grey walls of the "deer cooler" for so long.

A swift sound of the front door of the lovely "establishment" caught the attention of the two Emerson children. A gleeful smile found its way to Tommy's face once he realized that it was the signal of Michonne arriving.

Once she came through the freezer door, she sent the youngest Emerson a soft smile, "Boys,"

Thomas greeted her with enthusiasm, while Toby gave her a tight-lipped smile before glancing back down at his notebook, "Hey,"

Michonne's eyes soon fell to the empty bed where the blonde usually resided, "Where's Andrea?"

Toby snapped his head up to answer her, "She needed some light I guess, and she's been out in the hall for like ten minutes,"

Michonne gave him a wary look, making Toby sigh. He knew what the look meant, both he and Michonne needed to go check on Andrea. Burgrudgendly, Toby snapped his notebook shut and placed it on the cement floor next to him, soon finding his way to his feet. Toby made quick eye contact with his brother, "Tommy, me and Michonne are going to go check on Andrea and you need to stay put, we'll be back in a few minutes,"

Tommy sent him a small look of worry, "You're not going outside are you?"

Toby instantly shook his head and gave his brother a comforting smile, "We'll just be in the hall, don't worry,"

And with that, the two made their way to Andrea. Tommy was soon nose deep into his coloring book, completely forgetting that his brother had just left the room.

Michonne and Toby instantly found Andrea curled up on the floor while light from the window across from her shined on her skin. Michonne's face twisted in confusion, "What are you doing out here?"

"I needed some light," Andrea grumbled under her breath. The blonde woman looked as pale as they came, a queasy feeling erupted in Toby's stomach watching the sick woman almost fade in and out of consciousness.

Michonne sighed and quickly helped Andrea up so she would be leaning against the wall. Soon she pulled a packet of aspirin out of her pocket and fed them to Andrea, "Take this,"

Toby stood awkwardly in the background, watching Michonne pour water into Andrea's weak mouth. The blonde woman struggled a bit with a lack of energy, and she gave Michonne a questioning look, but her voice seemed distant, "How is it out there?"

Michonne hesitated for a moment, but quickly caught herself, "Same, it's quiet,"

Both Toby and Andrea instantly caught onto her, but Andrea was the one who said something, "You're lying,"

Michone sighed, placing the water bottle on the floor next to her, "We should go in a few days,"

"They're coming," Andrea mumbled, a watchful glare on her face. "You guys should go,"

Michonne opened her mouth to reply but Toby cut her off as he sent the blonde a stern glare, "No we're not leaving you here,"

Andrea sent him a hopeless look, "I'll just hold you guys back, go," Toby still shook his head, refusing to believe that this woman would ever survive on her own, after all, the first time they met her she was almost walker meat. "I can take care of myself, I save your guys' asses all winter didn't I?"

There were a few small smiles shared by the two women, but they soon fell, watching the blonde erupt into a fit of coughs. Michonne soon reached out to give Andrea a sip of water, but the woman just pushed it away, "I won't have you people dying for me, good soldiers won't leave your posts, screw you, "

Toby scoffed at the woman's words, feeling annoyance towards her. But Michonne just sighed and set the water bottle on the ground, "We'll go in a few days,"

Andrea's face fell, her eyes drifted to the ground, "If we stay...I'll die here,"

Toby felt a harsh impact with the weight of her words, and his chest felt instantly heavy. Michonne's eyes quickly met his, "Toby, go pack your things, we're leaving in ten,"

With that, the boy was quick to head into the other room to half haphazardly shove all of his and Tommy's things back into their backpacks. And the heavy weight he felt never left his chest, if anything going off into the unknown only made the feeling worse.

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✿❣︎ 𝘼𝙐𝙏𝙃𝙊𝙍'𝙎 𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙀  ❣︎✿

HEY WELCOME TO THE
FIRST CHAPTER OF GOOD
ENOUGH!!!

Sorry the chapters a little short
and dull, there's really nothing
super interesting about the first
episode with Michonne and Andrea,
but I worked with what I got.
Next one will be much more exciting
I promise!

Also I'm super excited to further
show my angsty boy in all his glory.
Toby is so fucking emo I cant even.

Hope you enjoyed!