𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄,
𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒌𝒊𝒅'𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏'𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕

❛ her mind was persistent. , looking
to shield the children around 𝒉𝒆𝒓 ❜

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐃'𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐍'𝐓 𝐀𝐋𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓, 𝕶elaya Visha was no heroine, and let her explain why. For starters, A heroine puts her heart in front of the innocents, planting her feet in the ground, and looking the enemy dead in the eye to protect any and all individuals, no matter what becomes of her own flesh.

Claw at her flesh, Destroy her bones, Drown her with her own blood, but watch as the heroine stands—even while on the brink of death, she'd selflessly come undone—even if it led to the heartache of others specifically those who waited for her soundly return home.

See, this is why Kelaya is no heroine. Shove a gun in her hands and tell her to choose between her brother and a random stranger . . . and she wouldn't so much as blink.

The heroine, however, would've fought and struggled, would've cried for the innocent soul, and would have pleaded to its maker to lend her its strength, so much so that the heroine would search through the depths of the ocean—every grain of salt in the water, to find a solution to her problem.

But Kelaya Visha was not a heroine, and this proved it. She would shed no tears for the soul, she would neither fight nor struggle, and she most certainly wouldn't plead to the gods above for strength. She'd merely press the trigger finger and go about her day knowing that she saved someone close to her heart.

Not once giving a damn about that innocent soul.

However, that never meant that the Visha family had no heroes—they did, in the form of the oldest, Caspen Visha. The same individual who'd put his life on the line for 'humanity' or whatever the hell kind of crap he was spewing. He was a hero, he'd let the enemy burn his flesh and spew his blood all in the name of innocence . . . even if it left his daughter's without a father, and left his siblings without a brother.

"At least that's one less titan walking around," he'd always say with a smile on his face.

. . . He was a fool,

But so was Kelaya, and the remembrance of never being able to see his smile or watch how he embraced his children, and listen to the countless of tales he had of his comrades all but slowly began to destroy her. Crippling her already wounding heart, sending her mind into a turmoil.

And her coping mechanisms weren't exactly healthy.

                         In order to ease the culpability she felt, she rekindled the fire she had once sworn to blow out by creating those same blueprints her brother proclaimed could turn the tide in the war against the titans. Every new machine, weapon, and object she managed to conjure made her ache disappear for a mere moment . . . Before appearing again tenfold.

Now taking care of four kids, she threw herself at them when her mechanisms proved ineffective, yet when she looked at them that gnawing feeling of guilt crept through her body like a disease.

                         It seemed like nothing would relieve it.

He was right. He was right. He was right.

'I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong,' she thought. 'He was supposed to live, not me. He was the hero, not me. He deserved to see his dreams . . . not me'

Kelaya's mind was cluttered—as you can very well see— full of incoherent thoughts of the recent events. The past couple of months were destroying her mental health — throwing her towards the brink of a breakdown with no safe way to cope other than sob quietly to herself when she'd believed the children were deep in nightmares of their own.

Speaking of, the kids weren't alright, and it was worrying her.

The horrors they had witnessed in such an early part of their life were sealed in their skin forever. However, despite the weight constantly on their shoulders — the atrocities they had endured, they couldn't help but smile when they saw their new home.

Home.

They hadn't thought they'd be able to find another home after the fall of shiganshina. The house was merely a luxury they couldn't afford, a fleeting luxury — and only getting attached would lead to heartbreak. At least, that's what Eren said, but he too couldn't help the excitement of the house before them.

It wasn't anything significant, per se, but Kelaya did have enough saved up for her to put a roof over their heads, and she couldn't be more thankful. However, she, along with the rest of the children, were still refugees having to plow for their food, only for the ground to yield nothing but disappointment.

Kai and Isla were doing their best to adjust . . . well Kai was, Isla was far too young to remember the blood that once stained her baby clothes. Yet, late at nights, when they'd all sleep in the same room — which all the kids preferred despite them having their own rooms, Isla would whimper, and it was heartbreaking to hear, like the visions of titans plagued her youthful mind.

                         Nightmares were now an everyday occurrence in their household; the daunting images of titans feasting on human flesh were hard to ignore. And since the kids insisted on sleeping in the same room as Kelaya instead of their own, it was getting much harder to sleep with everyone suffering from the images that made them believe they were entering Hell's gate.

                         Kai was a prime example of who was suffering the most when it came down to the visions plaguing her mind. It was a routine as if her brain was specifically hardwired to wake up at a particular time, either gasping for breath or screaming her throat dry.

                         To Kelaya, it wasn't anything new, Kai had suffered from night terrors long before she could even talk . . . but she couldn't deny she was suffering more now than ever before. And in those occasions where her body would wake up full of terror, and her cries could be heard outside of the walls, she'd always find comfort in those around her, specifically her Aunt — but even when Kelaya wasn't fast enough to soothe her, surprisingly, Eren did his best to do so. He claimed no titan would dare step foot in their threshold with Kelaya guarding them. Armin and Mikasa would soon jump in, agreeing with their friend on the rare nights Armin's grandfather allowed him to spend the night.

It made Kelaya's heart shred with guilt at how these three kids had so much faith in her when she couldn't see it herself. Forced her crippled wing to cower as she believed she could never give them the life they deserved.

                         So, instead, she told them stories. Stories of fiction her mother raved to her about. Stories that made her dream of a world far more significant than her cruel one. Of a woman, whose cries and shrieks could be heard throughout the world as she predicting the fall of a soul. And another of a majestic fairy princess locked in a tower, hidden from her true family and her true home with powers beyond comprehension. With one mere touch, flesh on flesh, she could see through years of turmoil and find the most agonizing memory one has experienced, making the wings on her back cripple the longer she was at one's mercy.

                         Surprising to her, the children loved her mother's tales. Constantly wondering where her creativity blossomed, to which Kelaya also always wondered.

                         Either way, it sparked a light in the kid's eyes — wanting nothing more than to write their own story about the terrors they had witnessed and fighting their demons.

So, when the refugees were called to reclaim the wall Maria, Kelaya was forced to participate along with Armin's grandfather. And it broke her heart telling the children.

"You can't just go!" Eren cried, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. "What if you don't come back?!"

Kelaya could only sadly smile, doing her best to engrave the children's face into her mind fearing it would be the last time she'd ever see them, "Hey," she sniffled, placing a hand on his cheek. "I'll be back before you know it. I made a promise, didn't I?"

                         "Laya," a voice whimpered behind her, the small voice belonging to her Mikasa. "Eren's right! Tell them you have kids to take care of! You have too many responsibilities!"

                         Kelaya wished she could tell the higher-ups to screw themselves and watch as the children she was so fond of grew to be better than she ever was. She wanted to see them find themselves, find love, have kids and grow old. She wanted all of that for them, tried to watch them happy even if it meant risking her happiness for them.

                         But she knew she couldn't live with herself; she couldn't live with the fact that her brother both fought and died for others. . . and now with the hole he and her family left behind deep in the depths of her heart and the rage now simmering in her bones, she believed it was her turn.

                         All she could do was wrap them up in a hug, wishing to forever stay in that moment despite the uncertainty she would face, praying to any higher power or to anyone that would merely listen to keep the children safe.

                         She abruptly pulled away, "You all listen to me, okay?" Her eyes were full of tears; it took so much not to break down in front of them. Their nodding proved they listened. "You take care of each other, no matter what. You hear me?"

                         Before she could take in their response, a banging was heard on the door, "Kelaya Visha!" A voice yelled. "you were due in the lineup five minutes ago! If you do not come out in the next thirty seconds, we will consider this an act of treason!"

                         The realization made the children's bodies quiver. This could be the last time they'd ever see her. The woman who no matter what situation she was placed in, her priority was always the same — their safety.

Mikasa had to scoop a crying Isla into her arms when Kelaya placed her on the floor. In the year they lived together, Isla had grown. She waddled everywhere she went, her curiosity wanting nothing more than to grab whatever her chubby hands could reach.

Kelaya took a deep breath and sighed, "I'll see you guys soon, okay?" It took everything in her to turn on her heel and walk towards the door. "And whatever you do, do not stop fighting."

She turned the doorknob, sucking in a deep breath, only to be met with garrison regiment soldiers before her. Muskets pointed at her, waiting for one wrong move to pull the trigger.

She placed a false smile on her face and tilted her head, "Oh, come on now, boys," she rose an eyebrow. "Didn't know you were all that eager to see me."

They hesitantly lowered their weapons. One soldier nodded his head towards the lineup, "It's time. If people are right about you, you could be the key to reclaiming Wall Maria. Here," A musket was tossed towards her. She swiftly caught it and furrowed her eyebrows. "If you're as smart as they say you are, let's see how well you fend off the titans with a musket."

Her blue eyes narrowed, "Where's the ODM gear?"

He let out a scoff, "You're not qualified to wear ODM gear."

She scoffed, "My grandfather, Louis Visha, engineered and manufactured the Omni-directional mobility gear, and at the age of fifteen, I engineered my own," she swung the musket over her shoulder. "I think that makes me more than qualified."

The man and his group snorted, "Look, princess. You get the musket, and that's it. It's not like you were trained to take down a titan."

Kelaya opened her mouth to retort, but a whistle blew, signifying that the operation had commenced. She bit her tongue and could only watch as the men before her left with smiles on their faces knowing the doom that awaited the refugees.

She turned her head towards the children behind her, who could only watch her retreating figure. The sight itself was saddening. Isla was crying, making grabby hands towards her Aunt in Mikasa's arms. Mikasa herself was doing her best to hold back the tears. Armin stood next to her, clutching his grandfather's hat. Eren was in front of them, the same fire in his eyes present despite the tears. He held hands with Kai, who was begging and pleading for her Aunt not to go and to stay with them.

And how she wanted to, but instead, she sent them one last smile, followed by a wink. Hoping that it was enough to rekindle any hope in them to have faith that she would never break their promise of coming home and reuniting with them, even if she couldn't.

She turned her head, and once she did, she couldn't help but drop the facade, knowing that what awaited her was not salvation but destruction. Her smile dropped and was replaced with utter fear.

The people in front of her must have felt the same way, muttering to themselves about the nightmare they were walking into. Some beg to stay with their family. Others quietly accept their fate.

"How'd they take it?" A voice spoke beside her.

Armin's grandfather was always kind to the Visha family, despite losing his son and daughter-in-law a couple of years ago. He treasured Armin like his own, wanting nothing more than to shield the poor child from dangers across the walls.

Kelaya frowned, "Hard," she sighed. "They don't want to lose anyone else. They can't afford it."

He nodded thoughtfully, "Well, don't let them," he shrugged.

Kelaya turned to him with furrowed brows, "Huh?"

"Don't let them lose anyone else, kid. Even if you got to face the world for them, do it because it's just like you said, they can't afford to lose anyone else, much less you."

Kelaya didn't know it at the time, but these words were what she would consider when facing the flesh-eating monsters that disrupted her life.

Those words were what labeled her a war hero in operation, but they were the exact words that haunted her when she was lost in the battle for a total of six months . . .

𝒊𝒇 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒍𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆.

✦          AUTHORS NOTE — levi will be introduced next chapter, im actually excited for that. Sjdjjdd, what do you guys think so far?