Bucky

Agent Carter and I walk through the shopping district together and I've never exactly been in a situation where I've been left to make conversation with a girlfriend of Steve's before, even if neither of them would call her that, but Steve's clearly in love with her and she's Ada's best friend so we're bound to be spending time together.

Her and Ada could be sisters with how similar they look, from the hair right down to the bone structure. If I'd come back to London without having met Ada I don't doubt that she would've turned my head, and yet that attraction just isn't there. She just isn't Ada.

"So, you're planning to propose rather soon I gather?" she politely inquires.

"I am. If we can't get married until the end of the war then at least I'll be able to call her my fiancée until then," I say and she nods approvingly, but I can't help but feel on edge. "Do you know how her and Steve would be getting to Stark's mansion?"

It's an innocent question, but she immediately deciphers my concern. "They likely would've borrowed a car and I can assure you that despite what you witnessed the other night you don't have any reason to be concerned."

I bite the inside of my mouth. Despite Ada trying to take the blame for what happened my bitterness rests with the guy that tried to kiss my girlfriend in front of me. I trust her and I know that she loves me, but I don't trust him. If I'd had any minuscule doubts about her loyalty she proved them wrong that night when she took my hand and set Howard straight, but it was never her that gave me a reason to worry.

I understand why she still keeps him around despite knowing how he feels, and maybe he did earn a bit of respect from me with what he said in the aftermath, but I still don't like the thought of her being alone with him even if Steve's there with them.

"I'm not concerned."

"Sergeant Barnes," she begins and immediately I understand what Ada means when she talks about dreading lectures from Peggy. "While Howard did make a mistake he does care about Ada's happiness and I suspect he'll remain an important part of her life long after this is done."

"Great," I mutter, but she doesn't let me get away with that either.

"Ada does not and has never reciprocated Mr Stark's feelings-"

"But he still wants her though," I remark and she sighs.

"Ada is different to the women Mr Stark deals with," Peggy begins rather awkwardly. "She doesn't care about his money or his reputation, instead she cares about him. She understands him. Perhaps it's her training or perhaps it's just who she is, but she is incredibly observant and understands the people around her on both an emotional and psychological level. When I recruited her I took a gamble that could have meant my life and whilst I had faith it took me quite a while to trust her. Howard however... he was the first person to accept her as she was. He had read her file and knew what she'd done and didn't blink an eye. I think he may have been the first person in her entire life who's accepted her as she is and she's been grateful to him ever since. I'll admit, I can't quite understand the relationship between them at times but they care deeply for one another."

She repeats what Ada herself told me and I don't miss the fact that all it took for Ada to give that type of loyalty was to simply treat her like a person. I can understand her side of things, but I'm slightly ill now when I try to see it from Stark's point of view because I know what he sees in her and how she must make him feel, because I don't understand how a man could be close with her and not fall for her.

Which is why I ask the question I dread the answer to. "Is he in love with her?"

She stops walking now and takes a moment to consider the question, not liking the answer any more than I do. "Yes, I do believe he is in his own way, but he knows she does not reciprocate it and he is not asking her to."

"Really?" I laugh in disbelief and she isn't impressed.

"I think he noticed that her attention had been taken by someone else and decided to try one last time before letting her go," Peggy says and I can't argue considering he admitted as much. "He is genuinely happy that she's happy, happy with you, and I believe that's more important to him than anything else. This... situation, it's the most selfless I believe he's ever been."

Even if I believe her I still can't help myself. "Seems more like he's biding his time."

Her silence and the fact she doesn't refute that confirms something I didn't want to know.

"Ada cares deeply for him, but their ideals simply aren't compatible and he knows this," she tries to explain. "She was raised in a communist country and despite what she says I know that at the very least she considers herself a socialist, meanwhile Howard is a millionaire who will become even more obscenely wealthy by the time this is over. He enjoys excess luxury and women, and while she can tolerate this to an extent she certainly has no love for it and would not tolerate it from a man she loves. I took a liking to Ada because she had little patience for men's nonsense and I'll warn you that you won't be the exception to that."

"Trust me, I know," I say a little roughly, very quickly understanding why her and Ada are such close friends. "And I've heard all of this from Ada, it just... it doesn't make it sit any easier."

And it seems that Ada isn't the only one with little tolerance for it either.

"I'll warn you that while jealousy is a quality she might find endearing in small amounts, she would certainly grow tired of it if it were to interfere with her free will," Peggy lectures and her voice turns a little quieter. "Because that is the one thing she values above all else."

There's a pang in my chest. "I know."

We walk in silence for a moment before she says "I can imagine why it would be easy to fall in love with Ada."

Something in her tone catches me off guard. "I- what do you mean?"

"She doesn't take love for granted," she says and I find myself missing the feeling of Ada's hand wrapped around mine. "She's spent so much of her life deprived of it that she doesn't restrain herself in giving it, and it's a beautiful thing considering so many others in her position would have lost their hearts long ago."

A pained smile comes to my face, knowing just how true her words are. "And god knows she deserves to feel it back."

"She does," Peggy agrees and we walk into a jewellery store.

This wouldn't be the first time I've bought something nice for a girl, but this isn't a simple birthday or Christmas gift. This is an engagement ring. Something I'd like her to wear every day for the rest of her life with the exception of when we're on duty.

A brief survey of the engagement rings on display has me feeling conflicted, countless diamonds with gold or silver bands, but it just doesn't feel right.

"I know diamonds are the in thing right now but I don't know," I say to Peggy. "She just- she doesn't seem like the type of girl to like what everyone else does."

Peggy agrees with me, but doesn't seem to know any better than I do what she'd like. "That is true."

And so I keep looking until a ring catches my eye, a red stone set in gold.

"With her undertones you'd want gold," she affirms, noticing my trail of sight. "And red compliments her quite nicely. That stone you're looking at would be a ruby."

"Is that used for engagement rings?"

"Diamonds may be the marketed thing now but coloured gemstones were far more popular until recently," she says and looks closer. "And rubies are one of the more durable gemstones. This one's well made and quite unique."

I take in the gold work around the oval stone that's unlike anything else on display, and my gut tells me that this is the right one.

"What's her ring size?"

"K," she answers. "We'd done our measurements earlier in the year for this self defence gadget that had been proposed for female agents, a ring with a removable stone that would reveal a spike beneath it. I believe it's being currently made actually."

There's an uncomfortable lump in my throat upon remembering just how much danger Ada's going to be in as long as we're in Europe, and it only affirms that I'm making the right decision to propose to her now before anything can happen to either of us out there. Although I have more faith in the thought of her seeing the end of this than I do for myself.

When I'd met Ada I was so sure of myself, so sure that I'd make it back unscathed despite knowing countless men who served in the Great War and never returned as they'd once been... just as I have now. Even if I'm reluctant to admit it anyone, myself especially, but I've found a woman who loves me despite that, who understands because she's lived through it herself.

It will be a miracle if I see the end of this war, which is why I don't want to wait another moment to ask the woman I love to be my wife.

~

Ada

It's early evening when Steve brings me back to Bucky's apartment and feigning ignorance for the past few hours may have been my most difficult deception yet.

"Do you want me to come in and assure Buck that Howard was on his best behaviour?" Steve asks and I can laugh about it now, although Bucky may take a little longer to get there. "He didn't even flirt with you once and that's saying something."

"It'll be alright," I assure Steve. "Bucky may have been upset that night but he trusts me. He might take a while to warm up to Howard but he knows I wouldn't let him try anything like that a second time."

He nods but asks "You don't think Howard would try anything like that on Peggy do you?"

"If he did then she actually would shoot him, or at the very least mildly injure him," I assure Steve and he doesn't doubt that. "You boys need to put a little faith in us. I can assure you that we know how to deal with men."

"I know, I know," he half whines at the lecture. "And thanks for helping me pick something out to give her for Christmas. It'll be nice having it together."

"It will be," I say and he reaches out to half awkwardly squeeze my shoulder in comfort.

"And don't worry too much over meeting Bucky's family," he says, referencing our earlier conversation. "They're nice people. They looked after me after I lost my Mom and I know they'll do the same for you."

"Thank you Steve," I say and he knocks on the door for me which is opened a moment later and Bucky stands there with roses in his hand, wearing the most beautiful smile as I embrace him. "Aw, thank you Buck they're beautiful."

"Come on doll, you don't have to thank me for flowers," he says, kissing my forehead and holding my close as he nods towards Steve. "Thanks for bringing her home Steve, I'll see you at twelve."

"See you then, Buck."

"Come on, it's cold," Bucky says and the warm air hits my face as we step inside and I hand Bucky back the roses so I can remove my gloves and shoes. "How was your afternoon?"

"It was good, Howard's mansion is certainly large but we didn't stay very long," I tell him, untying my headscarf and going to find a vase for the flowers. "Steve had me helping him pick out a present for Peggy so we've spent the last hour or so in the city."

He seems happy with that. "Yeah, he was stressing about that. What did he end up getting her?"

"Perfume, one that I know she likes but refuses to buy for herself since it's considered a luxury item these days," I say, quite proud of my assistance. "How'd you go with your sister?"

"Yeah good, it was an easy fix," he says, helping me remove my coat and putting it on a hook by the door for me, not feeling the weight of the compass I bought for him in its pocket. "Also I've got dinner cooking. It should be ready in five."

"A handyman and a cook, I'm a very lucky woman," I smile and reach for him. "Now come here, let me kiss you properly."

He happily obliges me and his embrace is warm. When our lips part he looks at me with such aching love that I'd drown in it if not for him keeping me afloat. He holds me close and I lace my fingers with his, committing his expression to memory.

"You have such beautiful eyes," I murmur, reaching out to stroke back the hair that's fallen across his brow. "And such a handsome face."

He wears that beautiful closed-lipped smile and looks at me with those bright eyes, tugging me in closer and murmuring "I love you so much beautiful." He bumps my nose with his and peppers light kisses across my face. "We're going to have dinner and then I have an early Christmas present for you."

My smile widens and I can feel my heart racing. "But you already gave me roses."

He just shakes his head and holds me by the waist. "Sweetheart, considering everything you've given me roses are the least I can give you."

"And you know that your love alone is more than I could have ever asked for," I tell him and his eyes soften. "Let alone dream of."

Words seem to fail him and he brings me in for a deep kiss, bringing my hand to his fast beating heart before pulling back with a shaky breath and saying "I'm so completely in love with you Lina, you've got no idea."

"And I'm so in love with you," I breathe, bringing him in for another kiss before a timer goes off in the kitchen and he wraps his hand around mine, kissing it softly.

"Come on sweetheart, it's nothing fancy but I hope you'll like it."

"Of course I will," I assure him and kiss his cheek. "I'll set the table."

~

It's not long after we're dipping bread into pumpkin soup and making last minute arrangements for Christmas tomorrow.

"I was able to pick up a few bits and pieces to make a roast," he tells me. "Then I realised I don't think I've ever actually cooked a full one but we'll make it work."

"We'll make it work," I agree with a warm face and full stomach. "Steve mentioned that he'll put something together as well and I can hardly imagine Peggy coming empty handed."

"It'll be nice," he says, reaching over to take my hand. "My parents don't live too far from here so we'll make our way over there for dinner. Since Steve's mom passed away he and I have usually thrown something together for lunch and then gone to my parents. They really stepped up and took Steve in as their own when he didn't have any other family and I know they'll do the same with you."

I smile a little emotionally now. The thought of having a family, of having parental figures... that's something I'd never quite considered until now. "I'd really like that Buck."

He kisses my hand and says "How about you run a bath and I'll join you in a minute."

"Okay," I say and he pecks my lips before leaving me to get ready for the evening. I set my nightgown out and head into the bathroom, taking my time drawing the bath until he enters with individual rose petals and a candle.

He places the candle on the sink and spreads the rose petals over the water, before holding me by the waist and kissing my shoulder.

"Someone's feeling romantic tonight," I mention and he nips at my ear playfully.

"You give me plenty of reasons to be romantic," he says and reaches around for the top button of my dress to help me undress and I soon return the favour.

Not long after he's helping me into the bath and he slips in behind me. We fit snug together, his legs resting on the outside of mine and his arms wrapped around my middle. The water's warm and so's his embrace. In my life I've been no stranger to being naked in vulnerable positions, but I've never felt as safe in my physical vulnerability as I have with him.

"Comfortable?" he asks and I can only smile.

"I think this is the closest I'll ever get to heaven."

"And you're the one accusing me of blasphemy," he teases and I laugh. He kisses just behind my ear and murmurs "Although I think I can agree with you angel."

I hum happily and lean back in his embrace, watching as he takes my hand and plays with my fingers, his thumb running over my ring finger. His lips brush my temple and I truly could stay like this forever.

"Although, the only issue is that I can't see your face from this angle," I point out and he gently tilts my head back, moving into a position where I can just see him. "Hi."

"Hi," he smiles back and kisses my nose, adjusting our positions until I can meet his lips. "Better?"

"Better."

By the time the water begins to turn cold I'm half laying on his chest, his lips caressing mine as his hands trail absentmindedly over my body. Neither of us move to take it further, not when the moment's so intimate as it is. The feeling of my body resting atop his, the taste of his tongue, the tender touch of his fingertips... I'm in heaven.

Eventually he takes my hand to help me to my feet and I catch our reflections in the foggy mirror as we help dry one another, his hands never leaving my body for more than a few moments as we head inside the bedroom and he dresses himself at a far faster pace than usual.

"Now stay here," he instructs, almost giddy. "Don't come out until I come to get you."

"Yes Sergeant," I say and he leaves me with a kiss on the cheek. I'm smiling widely the moment he leaves the room and looking down at my empty hand, allowing myself a moment to wonder just what type of ring will adorn it. I truly would be elated with nothing more than the promise of his love and his name, but still I allow myself the excitement of something to mark that promise.

Bucky's always been well put together, a man that takes care in his appearance and the clothing he wears, so I have no doubts that he'd take care in choosing a ring. Peggy's presence in the matter gives me relief in ensuring things such as size won't need to be adjusted, but I can imagine her standing there in quiet observation until he made the decision on his own.

My hair's half dry and I've finished applying my face cream when Bucky comes back in and comes up behind me, squeezing my waist and kissing my shoulder.

"Now, close your eyes."

"Yes sergeant," I say again, smiling as he brings his hands up over my face regardless. "I closed them!"

"I know but you're sneaky," he says and I'm laughing as he begins moving me to the door presumably. "Trust me?"

"Of course," I say, placing my hands over his as we step into the warmer air of the living room and I keep my eyes shut even as he brings his hands away.

He presses a kiss to my cheek, holding both my hands as he says "Open your eyes."

I open them to find candles lit around the room and a Christmas tree in the corner, decorated with tinsel and string lights. Beneath it rests a newspaper wrapped parcel, large and square in size.

"Aw, Buck," I say and he holds me close.

"I promised you a Christmas tree didn't I?"

I smile with tears in my eyes and turn around in his arms to look at him. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, angel," he says and I bring his lips to mine. They say the most important decision a woman can make is who she chooses to marry and if there was even the slightest doubt in my mind it's long gone now. To him this may be a small gesture, but to me it's everything. "It's our first Christmas together, I couldn't celebrate it without a tree."

"The first of many god willing," I breathe a little unevenly and he kisses the top of my head before guiding me over. "Candles too?"

"Not quite an American Christmas tradition but you'll see," he says, holding my hand in his as he picks up the wrapped parcel. "This is technically an early present but I hear it's a European tradition to open them on Christmas Eve."

"It is," I say, wiping a tear from the corner of my eye at just how long it's been since I've felt this type of normalcy in my life. The last Christmas I spent with my father I was barely old enough to remember it and now this is the first of many I'll spend with the man I'm going to marry.

"Merry Christmas," he says and passes me the parcel to unwrap. Carefully I remove the tape and peel back the newspaper to reveal a set of records. "I know you love the Andrews Sisters and I realised I don't have much dancing music lying about the apartment."

Every day I spend with him I only find myself discovering more reasons to fall deeper in love with him and his thoughtfulness is one I hadn't truly seen the extent of until now, but it may just be the quality of his I've become most endeared by.

"Thank you, Buck. I love it." He's smiling as I bring him into my arms and pepper kisses across his face before pulling back. "I also have something for you."

He turns sheepish now. "You didn't have to get me anything."

"Yes I did," I say and instruct. "Now, close your eyes. No looking or I'll know."

"Trust me sweetheart, I know better than to try to get away with anything when it comes to you," he assures me and I chuckle to myself as I walk to the coat rack by the door and reach inside the pocket of my coat for the brass compass, holding it behind my back as I walk back over to him.

"Open your eyes."

His eyes open and he smiles as I press it into his hand.

"It's far better quality than the standard issue. Weatherproof and quite sturdy but still pretty to look at unlike the ones they give us," I tell him, watching as he opens the inside and appreciates it. "And it will go quite nicely with your uniform."

"It's a good thing I got some film for your camera because you're going to need to let me take a photo of you to put in there," he says, tugging me close while my face flushes. "That way you'll be right there with me, no matter what happens."

"Well, if we're ever separated then you'll have something to lead you back to me," I say, as flattered as I am worried about what the near future holds for us. "And I think we can organise few photographs."

He brings me in for a kiss before taking the records and walking over to the phonograph, setting one on the turntable. Upbeat music starts and he extends his hand to me. "May I have this dance?"

"Always."

I take his hand and we spend the next hour singing and dancing about the living room, pushing the couch to the back wall to give ourselves room and perhaps falling victim to a slight stumble or two from the laughter that fills the apartment with every assault of kisses that come between songs.

It's when the night grows late and our movements begin to slow that he switches out the record for one I hadn't seen, but the moment I recognise the tune my heart clenches. He sees the understanding in my eyes and his never part from mine as he returns to me, taking one hand in his and resting the other on my waist as he brings me in for a slow waltz.

His thumb again strokes my ring finger as the lyrics play out and I can barely breathe.

"I'll be with you in apple blossom time.

I'll be with you to change your name to mine.

One day in May, I'll come and say

Happy the bride that the sun shines on today.

What a wonderful wedding there will be

What a wonderful day for you and me."

Tears shine in my eyes and the rest of the song's drowned out by the pounding of my heart as his lips hover above mine and he tells me. "I fell in love with you the moment I saw you in that prison and I'm going to love you for the rest of my life, no matter how long or short that might be."

I exhale sharply as he gets down on one knee. Tears slip down my face now as he pulls a small box out of his pocket and opens it to reveal a more beautiful ring than anything I could have ever imagined, but it's the sheer emotion in his eyes that draws my full attention.

"Adelina," he breathes, saying my name with more reverence than I've ever heard him give any prayer. "Will you marry me?"

With those few words everything I was taught to believe about my place in this world is proved false and I open my mouth only to choke on a sob as I go to give my answer and nod before finally managing a single word. "Yes." He exhales in relief, his breathing heavy as I wipe the tears from my face. "Yes!"

By some miracle I'm able to wait for him to slip the ring onto my finger before pulling him back to his feet, although I'm swept off of mine only a moment later as our lips collide and he lifts me up into his arms. When my feet return to the floor he's wiping the tears from my cheeks despite his own shining in his eyes and despite all that's been done to my heart I truly believe that it could give out from the sheer love that surges through it that's stronger than anything I've ever felt.

He holds my face in his hands as he swears to me "I'm going to marry you and I'm going to be right by your side for the rest of our lives."

"James," I breathe, words utterly failing me as I grasp his hand in mine. "I still can't believe that I found you."

I still can't believe that I had the chance encounter of running into him that night in June. I can't believe that fate led me to the front lines in Italy. I can't believe that I somehow found him alive in that hell. And I especially can't believe that I've found him, the man that could make me believe in fate because all these meetings that brought us to this moment could only be the result of such a force beyond our means.

And he understands exactly what I mean with those words.

"I can't believe it either, Lina," he says, his voice quaking at the sound of my name and this time when our lips meet his hands are as desperate as my own before he lifts me up bridal style to carry me into our bedroom.

He lays me on the bed and his body covers mine, those beautiful eyes still shining with tears while one escapes from the corner of mine. He takes my left hand and holds it in his as he runs a caressing knuckle along my cheek before bringing my hand to his lips, kissing my engagement ring.

I hold his face as his lips meet mine and he murmurs "Now, let me make love to my fiancée." His lips settle just below my ear, brushing my neck. "My bride."

My voice is breathless at the word. "Please."

Music still plays from the living room as we sink into the mattress and snow falls outside the window, the sounds of the street below drowned out by our sighs as we make love to one another. For one night able to pretend that our future together is a certainty and not a false hope.

~

His arms are snug around my body as the early morning light shines into the bedroom, and I could almost believe last night to be a dream if not for the ring on my finger. A ruby embedded in the most beautiful gold setting, warmer than any cold diamond could be.

Carefully I shift in his arms and a smile spreads across my face as I look up into those beautiful eyes, watching me with such loving tenderness. He brings a hand up to hold my face, teasing the corner of my mouth with his thumb as he murmurs "Someday we'll be waking up together like this every morning."

"And it can't come soon enough," I say, aware that everything will change once our leave ends but not even that can damper excitement. "We're getting married."

"We're getting married," he grins back and kisses me, gathering me up in his arms and rolling us over in the bed until we're laughing from sheer joy alone.

For just a moment I'm almost mad enough to damn the war to hell, to marry him and leave it behind, but I can't run away from this war and make myself his wife without abandoning him too. Not when he'll still be sent back to Europe and I'd be put in prison for breaking the very agreement that got me out.

Our life together will have to wait until this damned war is over and even then we might not yet be free to marry as we wish, but for now I can be content with the promise of that life.

My fingers trail along his cheek, the sunlight reflecting in the ruby and in the daylight I can only find more details to adore.

"It's beautiful," I tell him and he smiles. "Truly the most beautiful ring you could have given me."

"And you'll be the most beautiful wife I could ever have," he returns. "So it was only fitting."

"The only wife I hope," I tease and he laughs.

"It's taken my twenty six years to find you, so if I ever have to marry another woman I'll just have to find you in the next life," he says and he almost leaves me speechless.

"You're too charming for your own good James."

"And I mean every word of it," he promises me and I pull him back beneath the sheets until it nears midday and we're hurriedly trying to prepare lunch together in the first test of what married life will bring.

"We have rosemary," he says one packet of dried herbs in hand as we look at the contents of the pantry laid out before us. "What else do you put on lamb?"

"I don't know," I sigh, both of us freshly showered but still in our robes and aware of the ever ticking time. "Steve and Peggy will be here in fifteen minutes and when I was in America I wasn't exactly cooking whole roasts for two people and a toddler. I'm afraid my expertise doesn't extend beyond bread and quite the variety of puréed foods."

"It'll do," he decides and slides the tray into the oven. "And what do you mean fifteen minutes? It's 11:30 and they're coming at twelve."

"Yes but Peggy is very punctual and she'll insist on arriving fifteen minutes early so she isn't late," I say and he looks back at the clock.

"Did Steve happen to mention what he was bringing?"

"Something with potatoes," I vaguely remember and he wraps an arm around my waist, kissing my temple. "I've been a little pre-occupied these past few days so I'm afraid I wasn't quite listening."

"You've been pre-occupied? Sweetheart I was the one planning a proposal," he teases and says "It'll be alright, it'll just be the four of us anyways for lunch."

"Anything roasted instead of boiled will be welcome regardless of the seasoning," I say and he can't argue with that. "Maybe you were right about you being the housewife in this marriage because god knows I'm not cut out for it."

He laughs at that and after a moment of debate begins "So your academy taught a bunch of women how to be spies but not to cook?"

"I wasn't exactly one of the girls they were preparing to be someone's wife," I say, unable to blame him for his confusion. "They typically prepared us based on our aptitude for different assignments and well... they never considered me to be much of a homemaker."

"Huh," he says and I'm smiling as he lifts up the hand with my engagement ring. "Looks like they were wrong about you not being someone's wife then."

"It seems so," I blush and he peppers kisses along my neck before looking at the time and squeezing my waist.

"You get ready sweetheart and I'll finish up in the kitchen."

I peck his lips and five minutes later I'm seated at the vanity, just finishing up my lipstick when he ducks through the bedroom into the adjoining bathroom, running a hang over his face as he goes to get ready.

"I forgot to shave."

"I know, but you look quite handsome either way so I didn't mention it," I say, blotting my lips on a tissue. "I don't understand why so many men think a bit of facial hair's unclean."

"It's more of a habit," he explains from the bathroom. "Mostly we shave because a clean face is better for making a good seal with a gas mask."

"Ah," I say lightly. "So what I'm hearing is to throw Dugan a razor for that mustache if they decide to gas us?"

He laughs. "Mustaches shouldn't get in the way much but hell throw him a razor anyways because I don't know how the hell they let him get away with it."

"On second thought I think he'd need scissors," I say and we both laugh considering Dugan would be laughing too. "What are the boys doing for Christmas anyways?"

"I did invite them over but I think they're planning on joining the celebration at headquarters," he says. "If they aren't passed out from today they've invited us out to go drinking with them tomorrow, Falsworth said they call it Boxing Day over in England."

"Well, we are celebrating," I say and he sticks his head back out the door with a grin, shaving cream still on half of his face.

"Damn right we are."

I shake my head in adoration and he returns back inside the bathroom. It's when I get up to find a dress to wear that we hear a knock at the door.

"Just give me a sec," Bucky calls out from the bathroom and I double check the time, finding them even earlier than I anticipated.

"It's alright, it's just Steve and Peggy," I dismiss, considering the months I spent exposed on that tour I hardly have reservations about being indecent in front of either of them. "God knows both of them have seen me practically naked more times than you have."

I catch the dumbfounded expression he gives at that realisation as I walk past the bathroom and into the main part of the apartment, fixing my robe as I go. I'm bracing myself for the hit of cold air as I open the door, expecting to find Steve and Peggy, only to be taken very much aback by the sight of vaguely familiar faces.

The older woman gives a surprised gasp while the younger one's lips part in equal amusement and curiosity, raising her eyebrows slightly towards the man who seems far less surprised than the woman who must be his wife.

"Oh, hello," I say with a polite smile, slightly closing the door for the sake of modesty. "Are you..." I trail off upon realising that they aren't lost and immediately I recognise the faces from the photographs Bucky keeps inside the apartment.

These are Bucky's parents and I'm standing here in a robe with red lipstick.

"We're looking for our son," the man says and despite all my training I've never felt panic quite like this.

"Yes, you would be," I say and clear my throat before calling out with an anxious laugh. "James!"

"I'm coming!" he calls back and I look over my shoulder to see him walking over while buttoning his shirt. "Steve you're earl- oh." He's just as surprised as I am to see them and he meets my eye in brief panic as he joins me by the door.

"Son," his father says and from his calmly unsurprised manner it's clear this isn't the first time he's caught his son in a compromising position with a girl, although this seems to be a bit more shocking to his mother. "Would you care to introduce us to your... lady friend."

"Yeah Buck," his sister says awkwardly, and the way she eyes me tells me enough about the perceived respectability of his former acquaintances. "Or does she have to get going?"

My jaw drops a little and Bucky puts his hands on my shoulders from behind me. The only solace I can find is that I'm wearing Bucky's already oversized robe which covers significantly more than the nightgowns that have been ending up on the floor each evening, and certainly more than that damn pin-up outfit.

"No, no," he quickly says with his own anxious laugh and very firmly positions himself beside me, holding me close as he clears his throat. "Mom, Dad-" he turns his head to meet my eye and his body eases as he looks back towards his parents. "This is my fiancée Adelina."

Eyes widen and his mother and sister look at one another in genuine shock while his father seems to think he must be mishearing him.

"Sweetheart this is my Mom Winnifred, my Dad George, and my sister Rebecca," he introduces and despite the circumstances I wear my polite smile and try to salvage this somewhat.

"It's so nice to finally meet you," I say, nodding my head towards them and covering one of Bucky's hands with my own. "And please, call me Ada."

"Fiancé?" George says and his mother and sister are taken aback by the sight of the ring on my finger. "Now this is a surprise."

"Well he's twenty six George, if anything it's past time," Winnifred laughs in surprise and clears her throat before looking at her son. "I just thought we would have at least gotten a phone call from our son to tell us he'd met a girl and was engaged."

"It's only just happened," Bucky tells them and I press my lips together as I look down at myself, quite aware that those words inadvertently give the impression that I've been a weekend long fling he's proposed to and I find a way to excuse myself from the conversation to regain some dignity.

"I'll finish getting ready," I say, putting a hand on his chest before slipping back inside and quickly making my way to the bedroom where my first instinct is to reach for a cigarette but it's far too cold to open a window to let the smoke out.

There's muffled chatter from outside, although unfortunately the enhancements to my hearing allow me to pick up on most of it and there's quite the amount of shock and bewilderment. Quickly I find the most modest dress in my closet and slip it on along with my thickest leggings and a cardigan. It's not long after that Bucky comes in and gently shuts the door behind him.

"Buck-" I panic and he comes over to me, holding me by my arms.

"I know, I know baby," he says, stressed but handling it slightly better than I am. "It turns out that they thought they'd stop by to surprise Steve and I."

"Oh," I say, truly not knowing what else can be said.

"If it makes you feel better this isn't the first time something like this has happened," he says and neither of us are sure if that makes this situation better or worse, even if it is a slight relief, although his sister's reaction plays in my mind. "Although not since I moved out-"

"Do they think I'm a prostitute?" I splutter and we both know that's a thought that certainly went through their heads. "James Barnes, have you-"

"I definitely haven't been celibate but I can promise you that I've never had to pay for sex," he says and I choke a little, but if he can look past my history as an assassin then I can look past his as a philanderer. "Maybe Rebecca assumed the worst but that's just because she's my sister, you understand what sisters are like?"

"Mine was five the last time I saw her," I remind him and he presses his lips together. "But I did grow up with dozens of girls so I understand what you're getting at."

"What matters is that I love you, and so will they," he stresses. "My parents practically adopted Steve and they'll take you right in as well."

Still, I find myself overcome with nerves. "I've never been in this situation before."

"I know, and it's a surprise to me too," he says, holding my face in his hand. "But it'll be alright." I force myself to nod and he brings my hand up to his lips, kissing my ring. "I promise."

I inhale deeply and ask "Do I look alright? I'd planned to get your input before we left for dinner but well..."

"You look beautiful," he assures me, but he knows the true reason for my panic. "And I can promise you that what happened with your parents won't happen with us. They aren't going to call you a Russian prostitute and or treat you like one. My parents have had a minute to process and they're just a little surprised that's all. If anything it's my fault since I hadn't mentioned you to them."

I nod stiffly, and my throat's tight as I dare to ask "Why's that?"

"Because words wouldn't be able to do you justice," he embellishes and my brows furrow. "And because I had no idea how to tell them that I've met the love of my life under the circumstances that I did and I'm just as nervous as you are Lina but we're here now and you're going to be their daughter in law. Just think, in ten Christmas's from now we'll all be laughing about this and our kids are gonna be too young to have a damn clue why."

"Damnit Buck," I exhale, finding myself overwhelmed by a different wave of emotions. "Are you trying to make me cry or trying to calm me down?"

"I'm trying to make you smile," he says and teases the corner of my mouth with his thumb. "Now come on, it'll be alright."

He holds my hand as we step back out into the living area and in the small kitchen his mother's taking food containers out of a bag and setting them on the counter while his father and sister sit at the table in quiet conversation, looking over at me in interest when they see us.

I've never needed a cigarette as much as I do now.

"We figured you and Steve would be doing the usual so we brought a home cooked meal," his mother mentions. "Considering you and Steve so often spend Christmas lunch alone eating whatever the two of you manage to put together we thought we'd surprise you this year."

"Steve should be here soon with a friend of ours," Bucky tells her as I glance at the clock. "We've got a roast in the oven and Steve's bringing something as well."

And just on time there's a knock at the door.

"That would be Steve," Bucky says and I can't head to the door fast enough to open it.

"Steve," I breathe in relief and he seems taken aback by the half hug I give him, but showcasing a familiarity with Steve is a silent way of assuring his family that I've known Bucky for more than a few days or god forbid a night or two. "Oh it's good to see you, come in."

He walks in, immediately greeting Bucky's family while I skirt outside unnoticed and intercept Peggy who's holding an apple pie. She immediately knows that something's wrong when I pull her aside just outside the door.

"What's-"

"Bucky's parents came by to surprise him and I answered the door in a robe and very little else thinking it was you and Steve," I say in a single breath and her eyes widen. "They're inside and this happened all of five minutes ago."

"Oh goodness."

In front of Peggy I can drop the half composed image I held in front of Bucky. "Please shoot me."

"No, and please refrain from making those types of remarks considering your record," she says and instructs. "Chin up, walk."

"Wait, wait- first," I say and hold my hand up, letting myself have a moment of pure elation. "You did good."

"What?" she quietly exclaims. "How did you know that-"

"I'm a spy Peggy, of course I knew," I dismiss with a wave of my hand. "Although I seem to have forgotten most of my training considering I can barely keep myself together, but, I'm gonna be a married woman!"

"For the record he chose the ring without any input from me, I merely supported his decision," she assures me and we share a smile, my heart warming at my suspicion being confirmed. "And congratulations Ada."

"Thank you Peg," I breathe and reach to squeeze her hand tight. "I'll tell you all about it later."

"You will, but first-" she half pushes me back inside and I walk in with my head up, remembering that I've kept my composure in far more dire situations than this and switch on a side that I haven't had to equip in quite a while.

"George, Winnifred, this is Agent Carter," Steve introduces and they look at each other in surprise at hearing Peggy's rank. "She's a- she's a good friend of mine."

"Peggy Carter," she politely introduces, shaking the hands of Bucky's parents. "Sergeant Barnes where would you like me to set this down?"

"Just over on the kitchen counter," he says and while she heads over into the kitchen with the pie I snap into action, although end up jolting slightly when Bucky slaps his hand on Steve's back and exclaims "I'm gonna be a married man!"

Steve blinks in sudden remembrance and then smiles as he brings both of us into a friendly embrace. "Congrats you two, I'd say it was a long time coming but-"

Bucky clears his throat to interrupt him but he's still smiling and I try to share in his determination not to let anything but a damper on this.

"Yes, we have much to celebrate," Peggy adds on as we take our seats around the square table. Peggy sits beside Steve and I sit beside Bucky, Peggy adjacent to me with Bucky's family sitting opposite to us. "Congratulations to the both of you."

"Yes, this is certainly a surprise but congratulations," Winnifred says.

"Thank you," I say and rise to my feet, knowing a woman's place in these matters. "Would anyone like tea, or coffee?"

"It's alright doll," Bucky says, going to do it himself. "You sit down and I'll-"

"Don't be silly," I laugh lightly with a pat of his hand. "Mr and Mrs Barnes how do you take your drinks?"

"Coffee with milk and sugar for George and I please," Winnifred says and I turn to Rebbeca, taking the chance to look at her properly now and she's an undeniably attractive woman, not much older than I am. Whilst she takes after her mother and Bucky after his father, I find that she and Bucky share the same eyes.

"The same, thank you."

"I'll come and lend you a hand," Peggy volunteers. "Steve how would you like yours?"

"I-" Steve stammers. "However you like yours."

Peggy and I walk into the kitchen area a few steps away and when they begin talking she quietly asks under her breath "I take it that Sergeant Barnes has been the housewife then?"

"Indeed he has been," I say as I take the already boiled kettle off the heat and she chuckles quietly as we make the drinks and bring them back over.

"Thank you, sweetheart," Bucky says and pulls my chair out for me to sit beside him.

"Thank you Adelina," Winnifred says.

"Your welcome Mrs Barnes," I say and she waves a dismissive hand.

"Please, call me Winnifred," she says and slowly my nerves start to ease. "It seems that we'll both be Mrs Barnes before long."

Warmth comes to my face and Bucky's fingers trail along my back. "Yes, we will be."

"So tell me about yourself," George says and that may be the question I've dreaded most my entire life. "What do your parents do, are they local to Brooklyn?"

"I was born in Washington and my father was a colonel," I answer with a straight back and polite posture. "He's passed now but he served in the great war."

"So did George," Winnifred says. "He enlisted in 1917 when James was still a baby. I would have much preferred that he was home safe with me as you no doubt understand, but our men have a duty don't they?"

"Yes," I say a little sadly. "That they do."

"And your mother," she inquires. "Is she still around?"

"We aren't very close," I say and Peggy's face is sympathetic. "My parents separated when I was young and she's lived in Russia since."

"Oh," Winnifred quietly exclaims. "You're Russian?"

"She is," Bucky says before panic can set back in and he takes my hand proudly in his. "She's been teaching me some Russian but I don't think my pronunciation's as good as hers."

"I was born in America but I spent most of my upbringing in Russia," I say, repeating the same story that I have a hundred times over the years, for just a moment feeling nineteen again in the nurses quarters on Pearl Harbor. "I studied ballet in a boarding school near Moscow and then spent the summers in Washington."

"How fascinating," Winnifred says, glancing towards Bucky in surprise. "And the accent never stuck?"

"I find that when I'm in America I slip back into form," I joke, not having even noticed I'd slipped back into my perfect American accent the moment I opened the front door. "I'm afraid my Russian's a little rusty after so long away but Bucky's been eager to learn."

"They say that most Russian immigrants end up in New York," George says and asks Winnifred "Do you remember that first wave around the time of the revolution, dear?"

"Yes, and there was that Russian politician that was exiled too who ended up in the city, what was his name..."

"Trotsky," George says and I bring my coffee cup to my lips while Peggy watches my expression carefully. "I remember the fuss when he was killed down in Mexico a few years back. We had a Russian living just down the road who said it was an assassin sent by Stalin himself."

Reluctantly I meet Peggy's eye and she puts it together right away whilst Steve and Bucky remain thankfully and utterly oblivious. Immediately my suspicion that the SSR were unaware of that mission's confirmed by the way her lips part before pressing back together in a hard line.

"Yes, such terrible business that," I say and Peggy shakes her head slightly. "Which is why I'm glad to be back in America. I came home after my graduation and just at the right time it seems."

"And how old are you dear?" Winifred asks.

"Twenty one," I answer and she seems surprised, meanwhile I catch the slight judgement Rebecca passes her brother at having a fiancée younger than her and likely the second sister as well, even if the difference in age is only slight.

"My youngest daughter's just turned twenty one," Winnifred says and turns to Peggy. "And you Miss Carter?"

"Twenty two."

"So what's brought you to New York Ada, are you a student?"

"Ada enlisted at the start of '41 and was a nurse at Pearl Harbor," Bucky says proudly. "She's here with me on leave."

"Pearl Harbor?" George repeats while Winnifred seems confused.

"I didn't think they took girls so young into the nurse corps?"

"They don't but my father was friends with the colonel who oversaw the division and was able to pull a few strings," I say truthfully. "He'd been transferred to Pearl Harbor to oversee the establishment of ground troops on the island and wanted to ensure that I'd be with him. He was killed during the attack but as a nurse we were quite fortunate that the hospital had been spared from the bombs."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that," Winnifred says and I have to keep my body from seizing up when she reaches across the table to take my hand. She's not my mother. I'm not in any danger. "That must have been such a terrible ordeal."

"Yes, it certainly was," I say a little roughly and she squeezes my hand before releasing it. "I can hardly believe that two years have passed since then. It feels both like yesterday and a lifetime ago."

"It does feel like that during war," George says and nods towards Bucky. "It was the news of Pearl Harbor that inspired the boys to enlist after all."

"So you're a nurse?" Winnifred says. "Is that how the two of you met then?"

Immediately I'm not sure of how much I can legally reveal and Peggy speaks for me. "She was a nurse until she was recruited into the same division Steve and I are serving in now as an agent."

"An agent?" George exclaims and Rebecca raises her eyebrows towards Bucky. "And how does a lady find herself in such a profession."

"We're typically hand-picked by superiors with connections to such divisions," Peggy explains. "And Ada had come to their attention for her work during the attack on Pearl Harbor."

Her explanation is simple, sensible, and utterly devoid of any Russian connection. Bucky remains quiet, aware of just how much is a lie, but he also knows that it has to be that way.

"She serves in my unit as a field agent," Steve continues and Rebecca's eyes narrow as she observes me a little more carefully. "We met when I was given the serum."

"Wait a second," Rebecca says and immediately I see that she's just as intelligent as Bucky, just as perceptive, but unlike him she's cautious when it comes to me. "You aren't that girl up on the posters are you?"

"That she is," Bucky grins while I flush a little and he reaches an arm around me to squeeze my shoulder. "Films too apparently but she keeps refusing to let me take her to the cinema to watch one."

I just laugh. "I can assure you that those films are quite awful."

"I thought we did a good job," Steve says in mild offence.

"Yes because you were the one shooting a fake gun while I was patching up fake wounds and getting kidnapped by fake Nazis," I point out considering he seemed to have already forgotten the sheer awkwardness of that ordeal.

"I was punching fake Hitler too," he adds on proudly and I shake my head.

"And getting real fruit thrown at you as well."

"Yeah, we uh, we're putting the USO shows behind us for good reason," Steve explains and Bucky sits in quiet amusement before turning to Peggy.

"See what I've gotta deal with‌?" he asks her and tsks. "Always bickering these two."

I glance at him in fond annoyance only to blush as he kisses my temple in front of everyone, an action that's as natural as breathing to us but becomes a statement in front of those who know him best.

"So is that how you two met?" Winnifred asks. "Through Steve?"

"We actually met back in June," Bucky says, keeping his arm around me. "We were at Stark Expo and she was performing for USO. I remember seeing her up on stage and thinking she was the most beautiful woman in the room."

Multiple people in the room, myself included, raise our eyebrows slightly considering he was with a date then and he realises his mistake, but he doesn't seem awfully apologetic. Nor am I considering I'm not one to speak on morality, especially considering I'm sitting here with a ring on my finger.

"Our dates for the evening had abandoned us," he continues, having his own slight moment of annoyance at referring to Howard as my date. "And so had Steve since he ran away to enlist again, except this time they actually let him in. I didn't know that and I was too busy trying to find him to look where I was going and that's when I found Ada. After accidentally slamming into her I asked her for a dance and we spent the night together in Queens."

His mothers eyes widen and I'm quick to clarify "We danced until I sent him home to Brooklyn to rest before being shipped out. Unfortunately we never gave each other any contact details and I was quite sure after that evening that I wouldn't see him again until I became acquainted with Steve. We were touring with USO on the Italian front when we received news that Bucky's division had come under attack by the Nazis. I thought he'd been killed but when there was a chance that some of the men could still be alive Steve insisted on launching a rescue mission."

"Steve, with his two weeks of training decided he was going to single handedly storm a Nazi base," Bucky says and his tone has Steve shrinking back in his chair slightly. "So Ada went along with him."

"Were you an agent at this point?" Rebecca asks and I recognise the question for what it is, an attempt to bridge the purposefully left gaps in my story. "I can hardly imagine they'd have an agent touring with USO as a showgirl."

"I'd undergone training but they thought it would be best to place me with Steve considering the government had temporarily gone back on their decision to put female agents in the field," I answer, keeping my voice casual. "And considering the circumstances I'm glad that I was with Steve at that time."

"So am I," Bucky says with a squeeze of my shoulder. "I looked up in the middle of that hell and saw an angel. How couldn't I fall in love with her?"

Rebecca chokes slightly on her drink and looks at her brother in disbelief while Winifred gives her a warning look to mind herself. "Since when are you a romantic?"

"I've always been a romantic," he refutes as he takes my hand and Steve opens his mouth before deciding to take a drink instead.

"I could use a few different words for you and women but romantic sure isn't one."

"Rebecca," Winnifred scolds. "You should be proud of your brother for deciding to settle down with a respectable lady."

Steve chokes properly on his drink and then lowers his eyes upon receiving the disapproving look Peggy gives him and he clears his throat. "My apologies for my manners."

"And Rebecca's as well," Winnifred says. "She likes to tease her brother."

"I can assure you it's quite alright," I laugh lightly. "When I first saw him that night he was accompanying two lovely ladies but he'd lost them by the time he bumped into me so I know it's not unfounded."

"And you sure haven't let me forget it either," Bucky says while George chuckles. "And besides, you had your own date that night."

"He was hardly a date," I scoff and he raises a doubtful eyebrow.

"Did he know that?"

Peggy presses her lips together, no doubt remembering her and I having this exact conversation prior to that evening, and I tell Bucky "Well he does now, and at least I only went with one person and not two."

"Oh no," he says, turning towards me to make his point. "I did only go with one person, the other girl was Steve's date."

Peggy looks at Steve now and he flushes, stammering for an explanation. "Well, I didn't exactly look like I do now so she wasn't very interested in me."

Peggy frowns and says "Then she was quite the fool."

Bucky and I share a knowing smile and he brings our joined hands closer to him, still smiling as he looks over at me. "I'd spent months wishing I'd gotten an address that night so I could write to her and there she was. She treated me on our way back to camp and I haven't been able to think about anything but her since."

"You never said you needed treatment?" Winnifred immediately exclaims and Bucky clams up while Rebecca studies him with a careful eye. "You said that nothing happened to you in that prison?"

"Most of the men weren't in the best shape," I interject, knowing what it is to want to protect a parent and a sister from the truth. "It was a labour camp so most men were dealing with some level of exhaustion or general illness, Bucky was no exception so by the time we'd made it out he was struggling with the smoke inhalation. I treated him for it in the aftermath although I might have given him a little more attention than what was warranted."

He gives my hand a thankful squeeze and kisses it while Steve and Peggy remain silent. His parents take my words at face value but Rebecca seems doubtful.

"So, this has all happened quite quickly then?" Winifred realises but George dismisses her concerns.

"You know the times dear, a colleague of mine's son eloped with a girl he met two days before when he got his orders to ship out. Why wait?"

"Exactly," Bucky says, running his thumb over my ring. "I'd be introducing her as my wife if she wouldn't get a discharge for it."

George and Winifred look at each other in question before she asks "I thought WAAC's were allowed to marry?"

"When I enlisted as a nurse they were quite strict that women must be unmarried, and while that's been repealed and the WAAC's are also allowed to marry it's not quite desirable for women to serve in the same station as their husbands, let alone in the field," I explain. "And for women in Peggy and I's position they are quite clear in their wishes for us to be unmarried since our organisations set their own policies for agents due to the nature of our work."

"Which is why we'll be keeping this under wraps and waiting until the end of the war to marry," Bucky informs them. "But I just couldn't wait another day to propose to her."

Winifred smiles and asks "So how soon after you're married do you plan on having children?"

I laugh lightly at the question, having been asked enough times in my life that I know how to brush it off, but Bucky speaks up.

"Come on Mom, let us get married first."

"It's alright Buck," I say and clear my throat. "I had a procedure when I was a teenager for a medical issue and there were some complications that mean I can't have children of my own."

"But," Bucky continues without faltering. "Ada really wants kids so we're planning to adopt."

They're both slightly stunned and Steve speaks to break the tension "Hey, as long as I get to be an uncle."

"And we will be proud grandparents," Winifred says, reaching for both Bucky and I's free hands, relief rushing through us both. "While this is certainly a surprise it's a welcome one and we couldn't be happier."

"Thanks Mom," Bucky says, suddenly becoming emotional, and I hold his hand tight as I look at him and meet his eye, almost able to hear him telling me I told you so.

The sound of a car backfiring in the street below has five of the seven people around the table suddenly alert and my eyes fall on George who looks between Steve and Bucky with heartbreak in his eyes. I can see him asking the same question that I've often asked myself over the years. How many more generations have to bleed because of a few men?

~

The celebrations last into the evening and there's Christmas music playing through the streets. George and Winnifred make their way to their car while Bucky and Rebecca talk outside. I'm refilling my glass in the kitchen when I incidentally overhear their conversation.

"I've never seen you like this, Buck."

"Like what?"

"Actually in love with someone," she says and I'm smiling to myself. "I'll admit, for a second there I didn't think you'd ever stop screwing around."

"For a second I didn't think so either but then I found her and I'm gonna marry her," Bucky says, as determined as I've ever heard him.

"I just- I don't mean this in a bad way," she begins and there's a familiar sinking in my chest. "But how well do you really know her? She seems lovely and she clearly loves you, but she just- she seems... cagey?"

"With her job there's a lot of things she can't talk about but I know enough," Bucky explains to her without even the slightest edge of doubt in his voice. "Look, Steve thought the same when he met her but the truth is that she hasn't had a good life and she's never really had a stable family which is why I'm going to give her one. God knows she wants that more than anything. She loves me and she takes care of me and I'm going to do the same for her."

There's silence before she asks "So, are you going to tell Mom and Dad what you really got that purple heart for?"

"Becca-"

"Do you think I'm an idiot? I've known you my entire life Bucky," she says and I listen anxiously on his behalf. "Something happened to you in Italy and I understand if you don't want them to know, but please for the love of god tell me that you aren't putting up this wall of bullshit with Steve."

"Look- yeah. I was in a damn Nazi prison and things happen," Bucky says more defensively than I expect, a knee jerk reaction to an open wound being picked at. "But Steve knows and Ada's been helping me. She's kept me on my feet since I've come back from Italy and I- it's what it is. It's war, things happen, and we've gotta keep on going."

I hear her worried exhale. "For your sake I really am happy that you've found her and god I hope that you're letting her in because you've gotta let people help you Buck. You don't have to be the one taking care of everybody else anymore. Steve can certainly hold his own now and something tells me that girl's been taking care of herself for a long time before she met you."

"She has been and you don't have to worry about me Bec," he says, calming himself down. "I've got her and Steve out there with me to keep me on my feet."

Peggy calls me over to give her a hand with the record player and Bucky comes back inside a moment later, wrapping his arms around me from behind as we get music going.

"Thank you for today," I tell Bucky, holding him close. "I think this might be the best Christmas I've had."

"Me too angel," he says and kisses the top of my head while Steve speaks up.

"We head back to London on New Years," he tells us, having saved business for after Bucky's family left. "Then we'll be getting flown out to the front within the week. From what the colonel was saying I don't think we'll be going back to London until the end of Spring."

Bucky nods and laces his fingers with mine, his voice is easy going but I can feel the immediate stiffness in his body. "Then we better make the most of leave while it lasts."

~

At Dugan's insistence Boxing Day's spent as a 'team building experience' drinking together at Howard's mansion considering the two of become fast acquaintances during that ceremony apparently.

I know what it means to Howard to be involved, to feel like one of those men and be treated as one, because I know what it means to me and to Peggy. That's one thing the three of us always had in common despite our vastly different backgrounds, we were always on the outside looking in and in many ways we still are.

Bucky's planning to tell the men about the engagement and then swear them to secrecy, but considering their acceptance of our relationship from the start neither of us have any concerns, even Peggy gave her clearance for it, but there's one person who should know before hand.

I join Howard by the record player and he has a cigar hanging from his mouth. He offers me one as he asks "How's your leave been?"

"I wish I could say productive but I've hardly left the apartment," I admit, lighting the cigar and getting straight to the point. "Howard, there's something you should know." He looks over and his face changes as I extend my hand. "He proposed on Christmas Eve."

He takes the cigar from his mouth and a soft smile spreads across it, he's surprised but certainly not shocked. ""He'd be an idiot not to marry you." He studies my face for a moment before saying "You really love him don't you?"

"I do," I say and emotion's thick in my voice. "I really do."

"Congratulations Ada," he says and brings me in for a hug before patting my shoulder and going directly to Bucky. "Congratulations Sergeant Barnes."

He shakes Bucky's hand and relief floods through me at the mutual respect being established between the two, but despite the revelry and celebration all I can hear is the ticking clock in the corner of the room.

The days slip between our fingers and when I finally manage to drift to sleep on New Years Eve I'm brought back to a time I'd almost forgotten.

My mother stood proud as I ascended the stage within one of the halls contained within the Grand Kremlin Palace to receive my decorations, just shy of eighteen. Stalin stood in the centre of the stage beside the head of the NKVD.

Every girl from the academy sat in the audience alongside high ranking Soviet officials and military. The newspapers wouldn't know my name, but they would.

"Adelina Viktorovna Vetrova," Stalin himself began. "For bringing the traitor Trotsky to justice I bestow upon you the Order of Lenin and name you a Hero of the Soviet Union."

The medals were secured to my uniform and I held my breath, knowing that he just as easily could have executed me as elevate me. If my skillset couldn't serve him any further I knew which one it would have been.

Eventually the crowd mingled within the hall, the atmosphere almost relaxed until my mother came to my side.

"You have made us proud," Mama said. "Each of you girls are widows upon your graduation, but it seems that considering your new station you've proved yourself worthy of a distinction from the others in your ranks. For your service to the Soviet Union you will be known as the Red Widow, it is a title as much as a code name."

"Thank you, Mama," I said but the disdain in her eyes never faded and that was the moment I knew that I could earn her pride but never her love.

Stalin approached and I did not speak before I was spoken to.

"Tell me, did he suffer?"

"Yes," I answered and he smiled. "Just as requested, Comrade Stalin."

He nodded approvingly. "Then I have work for you to carry out in Sukhanovo Prison." A chill settled in my bones but my face remained neutral as he turned to address my mother. "Comrade Vetrova, is your agent equipped for such a task?"

"Sufficiently," she assured him.

My eyes open and an uncomfortable chill washes over my body. Bucky's still asleep beside me and I lower my arm from where it's raised toward the bedframe, carefully untangling myself from his embrace and walking to the kitchen with a dry throat.

I stand in front of the sink, filling a glass of water from the tap and looking out at the street below to find it empty with the exception of a woman in the shadows, but it's when the light of a passing car catches her face my blood runs cold. Very carefully I continue as if I hadn't seen her, observing the buildings across the road as I sip from the cup, unable to find any signs of a potential sniper.

If they wanted me dead I'd be dead, and so there's only one reason they've sent a widow to Brooklyn.

Every instinct I thought I'd forget in time kicks in and I appear to head back towards the bedroom to sleep until I'm out of sight of the kitchen window. It's then I'm stripping myself of my nightgown and reaching for the one pair of trousers I have in the dresser and a dark shirt, tucking my chin length hair into a cap until my figure appears almost male.

Bucky begins to stir, reaching out for me in the dark and carefully I take my pillow and position it where I'd been in his arms which seems to ease him back to sleep. Carefully I take the overcoat that has my OSS issue silenced pistol stashed inside its pocket and lace my boots, feeling the blade tucked inside a hidden compartment along the inside and leaving it in place to take the knife hidden inside my handbag and slip it inside my sleeve.

A glance out the bedroom window tells me that she's still stationed on the other side of the building and so I crack it open, slipping out onto the windowsill and dropping down from the second story onto the street below. I make my way to the corner of the building in time to see the widow entering one of the nearby back alleys and once she's out of sight I move to intercept her. It's the dead of night and the streets are abandoned, although the bars in the near distance are very much alive.

I can't leave witnesses.

Upon reaching the other entrance to the back alley I wait until she's distracted and looking over her shoulder to check if she's being followed before slipping inside one of the jutted out building entrances. My breathing's steady as I count her footsteps until finally her shadow's cast across the alley and I attack with my blade.

She immediately goes to block the attack to her gut, leaving her throat exposed for me to grab and my nails pierce her skin as I slam her headfirst into the bricks. She tries to recover, to pull a blade of her own but she's been blindsided and her reaction time's slow. There's a crack and a curse as she's disarmed and her wrist falls limp, the knife slipping across the alley out of her reach.

The back of her head collides again with the wall, hard enough to cause damage to her skull, and she accepts that she's been bested but I still refuse to remove my hand from her throat, holding her firmly in place as she reluctantly looks me in the eye.

"Sofia," I say, recognising her as being in the class below mine. She was certainly talented, talented at deception more than killing, but still far from the best in her class. Which means that she's been sent because she's expendable. They didn't send her to kill me, but rather to shadow me and report back. My only fear is just how long she's been watching me and if she's been able to send her intel back to her handlers.

She grimaces as my grip on her throat tightens beyond anything she'd be accustomed to from the other widows, but I leave enough room for her to speak. "Did you really think she hasn't had us watching you?"

"Us?" I inquire in Russian before tilting my head and recognising her attempt to fool me into believing that she isn't alone. "No, just you. Your ranks are too far stretched to send more than one just to keep an eye on me."

"Our ranks," she reminds me, her voice seething with a familiar venom. Jealousy. "And congratulations on the engagement. Your mother will be so proud."

She makes one last attempt to break free only to find her face slammed into the wall hard enough to break her nose and my foots bears down on her achilles heel as I twist her broken wrist behind her back until she's wincing. It seems they lowered their standards for her to have graduated, but it's no surprise considering how desperate they must have been to replace the ones I'd taken out.

I'd ask why she's here, why she's been sent to watch me, but I already have the answers. There's no interrogation to be done, just a job to finish.

"Were you truly naïve enough to think she'd just let you go?" she asks me, straining against my grip. "Or that she'd actually let them believe you'd gone rogue?"

My heart stops now and my lip quivers. "I betrayed the Soviet Union."

"That might be so," she says roughly. "But do you really think she'd let your failure reflect badly on her?"

I shake my head, refusing to listen to her, refusing to believe that anything waits for me in the Soviet Union but an execution and the only reason I'd ever set foot across those borders again.

"My sister," I quake, verbalising my worst fears since she won't live long enough to repeat them. "Is she dead?"

"Not yet," she answers, speaking honestly since she knows she won't live long enough to be punished for it. "But we both know she won't last." My hand tightens around her broken wrist and she gasps out "You coddled that girl, you made her soft and now her blood will be on your-"

There's a crack and slowly I lower her body to the ground, her broken neck falling to the side with her eyes still open and blood on the back of her skull.

My breathing's unsteady and in the darkness of the alley I look up at the apartments above and drag her body so to any passersby it would appear as if she'd fallen from one of the storeys above. A tragic suicide.

She knew too much. I could have moved her to a second location to figure out how to properly dispose of her but her escape isn't something I could risk. Not with the information she'd gathered.

Even so, it wasn't self preservation alone that drove me to break her neck, and just like that this blissful dream I've been living's long over and I'm faced with the truth I've ignored for months now.

I'll never be free until the Red Room ceases to exist.

Carefully I make my way from the alley before I can be sighted, moving back towards the apartments and making my way up the stairs only to find the door to the apartment open and Bucky swearing under his breath, pacing about the entrance with a hand on his head.

My back straightens and my voice belongs to a girl that I almost believed had been left behind in Russia. "James?"

He turns to look at me in equal worry and exasperation, and then bewilderment upon taking in my appearance. "What- where the hell did you go? It's the middle of the night!"

He doesn't raise his voice at me, but he doesn't make any attempt to curb his distress.

"I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep so I went for a stroll around the block," I say, feigning confusion at his worry and his eyes are wide, but thankfully not with disbelief. "I'm sorry to worry you."

He sighs and brings me into his arms. "You had me scared. The window was open and the door was locked-"

"I tried letting some cool air in to see if it would help but I thought a walk would tire me out better," I say, running a calming hand over his chest with an apologetic smile. "I planned to be back before you woke up."

"You shouldn't be walking alone at night," he says and some twisted part of me could almost laugh as he brings me back inside. "It's not safe, even for girls like you."

"I know," I say softly and peel off my coat, hanging it up before he can offer to do so for me and feel the weight of the pistol. "But I did dress myself appropriately."

He takes my cap off and hangs it with my coat, still bewildered. "If you couldn't sleep why didn't you wake me up?"

"Because I didn't want you to worry about me," I say and look down at myself. "Which in hindsight does seem ironic."

He looks me up and down in what could almost be men's closed and I'm tempted to make a joke but refrain from it as he asks "Why couldn't you sleep?"

"Because I-" I begin and my words aren't wholly false. "You aren't the only one who has nightmares."

He holds me by the waist and brings me in close. "Then you definitely should have woken me up."

"I know," I say meekly without argument despite the fact that it's an utter lie. I did what had to be done and he doesn't need to concern himself with it.

"I don't know if you know this but-" he takes my hand, thumb running over my engagement ring. "When you're engaged to someone you tend to worry when you wake up and they're gone in the middle of the night."

The corner of my mouth lifts up and my voice is light hearted but still apologetic. "Did you think I'd run away?"

He gives a sheepish tilt of his head. "The thought might have crossed my mind."

"Oh darling," I say, looping my arms around his neck. "I can promise you that if the day comes where I so much as consider running away from you then I've completely lost my mind." His body eases and I cup his face. "Come on, let's go back to bed."

My performance doesn't falter as I guide him back into the bedroom and not long after he's asleep again with his head tucked into the crook of my neck while my eyes are wide open. When morning comes I stand by the window I'd spotted her through with a cup of coffee in hand, watching as the police cars pull up alongside the alleyway.

"What's going on?" Bucky asks, wrapping an arm around my waist as he joins me by the window.

I give a casual shrug of my shoulder. "Don't know."

"Probably just a robbery," he dismisses and kisses my shoulder. "Can you blame me for worrying now?"

"Not at all," I say, telling him what he wants to hear. "We should put a deadlock on the door before we go to meet Steve back at headquarters for the flight, the types of locks on these apartment buildings are easy to break into."

"Good idea."

He kisses my cheek and moves back into the kitchen while my hand grips the coffee cup hard enough I could almost break it. I've lied to those I love my entire life, hidden the truth at all costs to protect them, and now is no different.

It seems that old habits die screaming.

A/N: This is long, but I've finally reached the end of this arc. Expect angst and tragedy from now on. They'll never be this happy again (until maybe 2024). The next arc of this story will include several dark themes and chapters will have individual warnings. We will still be in the 40's for a while considering they'll spend a great deal of the time separated after the time jump to the 2000's. They've fallen in love and now the downfall begins.