It's past midnight when Howard and I make it back to headquarters. He's been strangely quiet, contemplative, and so I break the silence.

"So which showgirls did you disappear with? The brunette and the blonde?"

"I-" he begins, having to think about it. "I'm actually not sure."

"Well, I know I had a lovely evening," I tell him, my voice more cheerful than I've heard it in a long time. "And your flying car was impressive, although I can't imagine how it would go in traffic."

"That- that might be an issue," he admits, but he's still unlike himself.

"Howard?"

"Hmm?" he hums as he looks over at me.

"What is it?"

"Nothing I just..." he trails off before saying "I'm just surprised that's all."

Knowing what he means I can't help but agree. "Well, I hadn't quite expected that course of events either, but in all fairness he did take me to the shooting gallery."

That manages to draw a laugh out of him. "If I knew the key to your heart was as simple as a few rifles I would've made you an armoury." Before I can inquire further he shrugs it off. "I'm just surprised because for a second there I thought you liked the ladies."

My mouth drops, utterly confused at how he came to that conclusion. "Why on earth would you ever think that?"

"Because we haven't slept together," he states bluntly before clarifying "But look, if you are one for the ladies there's no shame in it."

"I am not a-" I begin before cutting myself off in bewilderment and he raises an eyebrow at how flustered I suddenly become. "That's illegal Howard."

"So's drugs, doesn't stop anyone though," he points out before being the one to look at me in bewilderment. "And the hell do you mean 'that's illegal,' weren't you a literal spy?" I clamp my mouth shut and he grins. "Just say the word and I'll see if I can get you an invitation to the sewing circle."

"The what?"

"We'll revisit that when you figure it out," he says and I blink in bizarre confusion as he pats my shoulder and leaves me to return to my room where Peggy's sound asleep with a stack of paperwork on her desk.

Everything's quiet as I get myself ready for bed and sit on the edge. Even now my hand automatically raises towards the bedframe and I have to bring it back down, rubbing the scars along my wrist from the handcuffs I grew up in. I may still be a prisoner in all but name, but at least for a fleeting moment tonight I felt truly free.

~

The next day Peggy's in a rush, packing to leave for Camp Lehigh with Doctor Erskine whilst Phillips debates where I'll be taken too.

"Mr Stark will remain here in Brooklyn which is why I want her shipped out to that camp so she will be under my supervision and not left to run about with him all over the city," Phillips rants to Doctor Erskine while Howard and I sit in quiet amusement.

"Colonel, she's hardly going to be running all over the city," Peggy dismisses as she gathers her paperwork. "Isn't that right Mr Stark?"

He grins proudly. "I'm a responsible chaperone."

Phillips is at his wits end as he not so quietly whispers to Erskine "The last thing we need is for her to end up pregnant!"

Erskine's eyes dart to me and they're apologetic, the only person in this room who would have a clue just how impossible that is.

"That will not be an issue, Private Morgan is quite responsible and I have some final tests for her to run under Mr Stark's supervision," he says and Peggy is almost as fed up with Phillips vendetta against me than I am as she backs Erskine up.

"She understands her duty, Colonel."

"And I can assure you that I am quite the responsible supervisor," Howard chimes in and it's then Phillips has to leave the room, frustrated but defeated. "Although I might need to keep a closer eye on this one after she snuck off last night."

"What?" Peggy exclaims while Erskine just shakes his head, not wanting to be involved in this conversation while he finishes gathering what equipment he needs to take with him.

"I left for five minutes and found this one locking lips with a soldier," Howard teases since it's only the three of us, with the exception of Erskine, and Peggy's eyes widen.

"Ada!"

"Howard, you were gone for hours with two showgirls so you're hardly one to talk," I point out and Erskine promptly leaves the room as Peggy puts her hands on her hips. "And you were the one who told me to enjoy myself."

"I do hope you kept these escapades somewhat private," Peggy says before descending into a lecture. "You can't give Phillips any ammunition to use against you."

"He hardly needs ammunition to launch an attack," I dismiss but she isn't done.

"Adelina," she begins before sighing. "You should be able to go and enjoy yourself, but you are in a very delicate position. I-" she cuts herself off, shaking her head. "Women are dismissed from our ranks every single day for even accused lapses in behaviour, and no woman who has climbed these ranks has done so without personal sacrifice.'

I observe her carefully now, able to read through the lines as she steps closer and leans on the table I'm seated behind, lowering her voice.

"I am not saying this from a place of bitterness, but of concern," she says gently, even as her voice turns grave. "If they find you in any breach of orders then the agreement you've reached with the government may become compromised." I swallow hard and she glances over to a now silent Howard. "Your flirtations are one thing, Phillips may overlook that, but anything more and you'll be the one it will reflect poorly on."

I nod in understanding, but voice "And I'd be content with making those sacrifices if I knew it would mean something in the end."

Because she knows as well as I do that whatever agreements I've made regarding Katya's safety may as well be empty promises on the government's part until the war is done. Even then... I know her freedom is something I will have to fight for for a long time to come.

"It will," she promises me, still having faith. "If we don't believe that then we've already lost."

I nod again, and when I find my way out of the room Doctor Erskine is waiting for me outside.

"A word, Adelina?"

I follow him into a private hallway where he speaks quietly to me. "Mr Stark and Agent Carter, while they mean well they cannot physically understand life under totalitarian rule - imprisonment. Just as they cannot understand what it means to have a second chance." He studies me for a moment before asking "If you had not been for the Red Room, what life would you have imagined for yourself."

There's no words, no images in my mind. Only nothingness. "We weren't allowed to dream of such things."

"Try," he implores, seeing the mental barriers in my mind against it. "You do not need to be afraid of such a thing anymore."

After several moments my words come out uneven. "I just- I just wanted a better life for my sister. Where she wouldn't have to be raised how I was."

He presses a little further. "And what life did you imagine for her."

The words come easier now. "We'd move into my father's house in Washington, I'd become her legal guardian and enrol her in a nice school. I'd give her the opportunities my father dreamed of for me. She'd be able to be just a girl, then a young woman who didn't have to smile while listening to all the other women her age talk about marriage and kids knowing how impossible it is. She'd be able to have that for herself."

He nods to himself before asking "And is that what you would have wanted for yourself?"

"Yes," I say quietly, and his voice is gentle.

"And you can still have that; marriage, adoption-"

Immediately I shake my head, spitting out the words I've always told myself; what my mother had always told me. "Men want a woman who can give them children, children of their own. After what the Red Room did to me I'm scarcely a woman, not one any man would want to marry." My eyes glaze over. "I should listen to Peggy and focus on building a career for myself as she has for Katya's sake, because to dream of anything else is pure absurdity."

"Adelina-"

"I don't have any place in this world, but she still can," I say roughly. "She's the closest thing to a daughter I'll ever have, and it's her I'm fighting for.

His face is sad, but he understands. I know he does.

"I pray that someday you will believe that you belong in this world," he says and leaves me with a weight on my shoulders that I don't know how to carry.

Howard finds me still standing there a few moments later and puts a hand on my shoulder. "Come on, I have a few tests I want to run."

"Tests?" I repeat back with apprehension, being prodded the last thing I want right now.

"Blood tests," he clarifies. "I want to study your blood work one more time and see how it reacts to something I've got set up."

Despite my reluctance I go along with it, but still voice my frustration.

"Now?"

"Yeah," he says apologetically and while I know he wouldn't push the matter if I said no, I know I don't have legal grounds to refuse considering I may as well be government property. "That alright or do you want to get something to eat first?"

"Let's just get it done with," I say and walk ahead of him to the lab, despite hating every second I spend in there I trust Howard and Doctor Erskine more than any other man that's ever treated me as a test subject.

~

June 22 1943

Howard and I walk through headquarters, which is busier than I've ever seen it with the return of Phillips along with seemingly dozens of political visitors.

"Will you tell me what all this chaos is?" I ask as he brings me into a private office. "Howard?"

"I thought you should hear this from me considering how you feel about all of this," he begins and sees my face fall. "Peggy's bringing back a volunteer from Camp Lehigh who'll receive a dose of the serum within the hour."

"I don't agree with this Howard," I immediately protest and he raises his hands in his defence.

"I know, I know-"

"Whoever it is doesn't know what he's getting himself into," I rant, unable to believe that anyone would willingly put themselves in such a position. "There's a reason I spent a year refusing to have any part in this project-"

"You told me that you enlisted as a nurse to do something right, something good," Howard says, catching me off guard enough that I stop and listen. "I've read your file and if there's two people in this building who know anything about destruction it's you and me. I make weapons and you do things I wouldn't even be able to comprehend, but this could be our chance to put something good out there. To do something that could save lives instead of take them."

My jaw's clamped shut and I tremble slightly, refusing to speak even as he reaches for my hand and tries to get through to me.

"I know you hate this and I understand why-"

"No, no you don't Howard," I say hoarsely and he lowers his head before nodding.

"You're right, I can't," he admits. "But I'm asking you to have faith, not in the government or even this project, but to have faith in Erskine... and in me."

He leaves himself more exposed than he ever has, and I see the cracks in that mask. "Why do you care what I think?"

"Because I do," he says and I search his eyes, seeing something in them that I can't reciprocate. Not when every time I so much as think of such a thing I'm brought back to my mother's office in the Red Room, sick to my stomach at the realisation I was finally being prostituted.

Sick with the knowledge that the man who may just be my best friend was meant to be my target.

Howard is not a terrible man, despite what so many believe. He has his qualities I'm not fond of, the womanising and the excess luxury, but he has protected me in the time I've been here. He's respected me. Gone out of his way to do right by me every chance he's had. He's listened to my rants and grievances and done everything in his power to give me the slightest freedoms that I wouldn't if not for his influences.

And even with this damn project... I know that his heart is in the right place.

"I do have faith in you, Howard," I promise him and guilt washes over me when his hand comes to cup my face.

"We can do something good, Ada," he says and there's pain in my chest at the desperation in his voice, at the look in his eye. "This isn't like what Hydra did to you, alright? This guy Peggy's bringing in is a volunteer. Erskine really likes the guy from what I've been told. He's fully willing and knows what he's getting himself into."

"Is he aware that he's about to make himself government property?" I ask and he doesn't have an answer for that. Making my voice as gentle as possible I try to reason with him. "Howard, as much faith as I have in you, which is more than you could ever know... I can never in good conscience support this type of experimentation."

Finally the realisation that words won't sway me finally sinks in and he nods before withdrawing his hand, but still he appeals "Even if you can't support it, can you work with me to make it better? To have an informed role instead of condemning it completely."

After a deep sigh I find myself defeated.

"I can," I agree and we both find acceptance in that compromise before he brings me back through the base into the operations room, although the contraption set up in the middle certainly takes me by surprise.

"I know it looks bad, but you'll understand when you see it in action," Howard says as I turn my head towards him with wide eyes.

"Howard, it looks like a coffin!" I exclaim and he can't argue with that, but before I can go on I see Peggy amongst the crowd of scientists and quickly make my way to her. "Oh thank god you're back."

"Yes, well, I could hardly miss this," she says, looking about as Erskine approaches with a young man in tow, although my stomach sinks the moment I recognise him.

"Adelina, this is Steve Rogers," Erskine introduces. "He has volunteered to receive the serum."

He's visibly stunned by the sight of the contraption he'll be put into, although I suppose it's not much worse than being strapped down. Meanwhile I'm stunned by the coincidence that is Erskine's choice for the serum.

"Mr Rogers," I say, shaking his hand with a perfect American accent, although I still struggle to hide my apprehension. "I am pleased to meet your acquaintance."

"Mr Rogers, this is Adelina Morgan," Erskine says and he nods his head in acknowledgement. "She is the best trained agent in America, and I imagine you will become well acquainted. Together the two of you will help bring this war to an end."

"I can only hope," I agree with an anxious laugh and remember my promise to Howard. "Adjusting to the serum may be difficult but I am here to help you however I can."

He looks at Erskine in confusion who explains. "Adelina was the subject of experiments under Hydra. She was already at the peak human condition before I gave her an experimental version of the serum which was quite different to the one you will receive, more subtle. She has been assisting with the project and thanks to her cooperation we have high faith that your body will respond well to the serum."

I meet Howard's eye and see the slightest 'I told you so' in the arch of his eyebrow at the confirmation that my participation hasn't been all terrible if it means this man will survive the serum.

Erskine instructs Steve to strip down and when he's out of earshot I come to Erskine's side, speaking quietly "Are you sure about this?"

"He is the perfect candidate," he assures me. "In time you will understand why he was chosen."

"I remember him, Doctor, and it's not your choice of subject that I'm judging," I say, also remembering Bucky's peace with the fact that his best friend would be safe in America. "You know this will change his life forever, and not necessarily for the better."

"It's what he's signed up for," he insists. "He is a willing participant, something you were not. If it makes you uncomfortable you do not have to watch."

"I lived through it, Doctor," I remind him. "I can surely watch it."

I walk over towards Peggy who watches on with a similar apprehension. Steve is visibly shaking, although Erskine seems to put his mind at ease before calling out "Mr Stark, how are your levels?"

"Level's at 100%."

"Good."

"We may dim half the lights in Brooklyn, but we are ready." Howard seems to hesitate, his own anxiousness finally peaking through as he adds "As we'll ever be."

My eyes widen and Erskine comes over to Peggy and I. "Agent Carter, don't you think you would be more comfortable in the booth?"

"Oh yes, of course, sorry," she says and quickly makes her way up there while I follow Howard to his console and take a seat beside him.

My eyes are on Erskine as he taps his microphone and begins "Ladies and gentlemen, today we take not another step towards annihilation, but the first step on the path to peace."

I look to Howard beside me who gives a reassuring nod, and I put my faith into the two of them if nothing else.

"We begin with a series of microinjections into the subject's major muscle groups. The serum infusion will cause immediate cellular change." My hand brushes my arm, remembering the injections straight into the bloodstream and the burning pain that never seemed to end. "And then to stimulate growth, the subject will be saturated with Vita-Rays."

By brows draw together, the latter part certainly not having been part of my own experimentation, and I watch as Steve receives an injection to his arm.

"Serum infusion beginning in five, four, three, two, one."

The test tubes are drained and I'm holding my breath as he winces.

"Now, Mr Stark."

Howard activates his contraption and Steve is sealed inside the metal death trap, but before any further action can be taken Erskine knocks on the window of the coffin.

"Steven? Can you hear me?"

A muffled voice comes through. "It's probably too late to go to the bathroom, right?"

Erskine nods and decides "We will proceed."

Howard cranks up one of his dials before passing me a pair of glasses. "You'll want to put these on."

In mild alarm I comply and soon understand as he begins charging the contraption, wincing at the light that comes through.

"Vital signs are normal."

"Sixty percent, seventy-" Howard's cut off by muffled screams from within and immediately I get to my feet, Erskine beating me in getting to him as he peers through the window.

"Howard, shut it off," I order as Erskine shouts through the glass.

"Steven? Steven!"

"Shut it down!" Peggy yells from above and I look at Howard who's waiting on orders from Erskine. "Shut it down!"

"Howard!"

"Kill the reactor, Mr Stark!" Erskine shouts and Howard quickly rushes to do just that. "Turn it off, kill it! Kill the reactor!"

But we're all cut off by Steve yelling "No! Don't! I can do this!"

It's then Erskine looks at me to make the call, putting the final result of this project in my hands; the only one who has lived to suffer the consequences of the serum as Steve Rogers will. Finally, upon my nod, Howard returns to the dial, all of us watching in panic as he finishes the countdown.

"Eighty, ninety, that's one hundred percent."

The machinery in the room begins sparking and then finally the light goes dim.

Howard and I slowly lower our glasses and our jaws drop as the contraption opens and a now much larger Steve Rogers becomes visible. Howard and Erskine rush to help him and even Peggy runs down from the platform while I stand back in disbelief, scientists and government officials quickly filling the room.

I find myself saying a silent prayer now that the course of this war has changed, desperately needing a cigarette. My eyes are on Erskine who shakes hands with politicians until something in the distance catches his attention and I follow his trail of sight to a man on the staircase reaching into his pocket.

"Get down!" I yell the second before the explosion's triggered and glass showers down on the room. Quickly I move but not fast enough to beat the man who grabs the last remaining vial of the serum, and I'm pushing through the crowd to get to him but know it's futile the moment I see the pistol in the attacker's hand. "Doctor-!"

It's too late to stop the two shots that are fatally fired directly to Erskine's chest and while cries of shock echo through the room I try to make my way through the crowd.

"Move!" I order, grabbing the nearest side arm I can find and running for the stairs at the same moment Peggy fires at him from within the crowd but he still manages to make it around the corner with a nick to his arm.

She follows after me up the stairs and I round the corner, firing what should be a fatal shock direct to the heart but he keeps going, rushing into the shop that leads onto the main street and I find him just as he's picking up the elderly woman's machine gun.

My bullet hits his hand and I fire a shot into his leg in order to take him for questioning only for a second man to quickly pull him out onto the main street. Shoving the pistol into the waistband of my skirt I pick up the dropped machine gun and rush out, only to be met with hot flames as the car directly beside me explodes.

My body slams into the wall and amidst the smoke and fire I hear the wheels of a car screeching. Quickly I push myself back onto the street and raise the machine gun, firing bullet after bullet until it crashes into a nearby car, although that doesn't deter the man from quickly finding his way into a taxi- shielded by the panicking civilians running across the road.

"Bullet proof vest!" I yell to Peggy as she rushes out and together we step out onto the road with our weapons readied while I shout orders at the civilians to get back. Both of us line up clear shots as the taxi begins speeding towards us and just as we open fire we're met with a hard slam as Steve tackles us off the road, the taxi speeding past.

Amongst my cursing Peggy yells out "I had him!"

"Sorry!" he yells back and I watch in open mouthed disbelief as he takes off barefoot down the street after the car.

"What the fuck," I mutter under my breath and grab Peggy, pushing her towards the nearest vehicle. "Get in."

"What?" she exclaims as I put the machine gun into her hands and jump into the drivers side to find the keys in the ignition. "Ada-"

"Get in!" I repeat and she doesn't argue twice, only just slamming the door shut as I quite brutally put the car into reverse and speed off after the taxi.

"Ada- Ada slow down!" she yells as we find ourselves in traffic but they soon enough get out of the way. "You're going to kill someone!"

"Don't lose sight of the taxi and if you get a clear line of sight take out the wheels," I instruct, but know she's bound by the risk any action would pose to civilians. "He has the serum, failure isn't an option."

Soon enough we fly around a corner to find Steve on top of the taxi as it weaves its way through traffic and it's Peggy who realises "He's heading to the docks."

"On it," I say and violently swerve the car onto a road I can only pray takes us there and come to the docks just in time to find the taxi rolling across the road. My foot slams on the breaks just before we can go through a barricade of cars and I'm throwing myself out at the same time the man is, pulling my pistol free as he fires shots at Steve and I'm running over the tops of the cars only to come to an abrupt stop as he grabs a child and holds a gun to his head.

"Get back!" he screams, firing blindly now at Steve and I as he drags the boy around a corner and something deep in me goes cold. All I hear are the mother's screams as I pursue, dodging bullets as Peggy chases after us.

"Put the gun down!" I order when I have him cornered, but at the now distant sound of the mother's screams any merciful bone in my body is long gone. I cannot fail. Not again. "Now!"

And the moment his finger reaches for the trigger three consecutive shots land in his forehead. The boy screams out and I grab him, shielding his eyes as Peggy and Steve come around the corner and I quickly give him to Steve before he can see anything.

"Get him back to his mother," I order and he nods, quickly ushering the boy away from the scene as Peggy and I look down at the body. "Fuck."

While I catch my breath she bends down, noticing foaming at the mouth. "It seems that he had a way out prepared, regardless of if we apprehended him alive or dead."

It's then I spy the nearby vial, having rolled onto the ground, and swallow with dread. "Is Erskine dead?"

She looks back at me, not having spotted the vial, and her voice is pained. "With the injuries he sustained I believe so, yes."

She turns her attention back to the body, and in a split second decision I subtly crush the vial beneath my heel. The noise of the nearby crowd and police sirens hide any sound of it from Peggy and she's none the wiser when I return to her.

"He doesn't have anything to identify him but it's safe to assume Hydra," she says and I nod in agreement as police and the SSR finally rush around the corner.

"Holy hell, what happened here?" Howard exclaims at the sight of the body and the fallout of the explosion saturating my uniform but that's the last concern I have as I look at him with a single question in my eyes and gravely he nods. "We couldn't save him."

Peggy stands and it's then she spots the broken vial, her and Howard's faces falling at the sight. "It seems we couldn't save the serum either."

And I do feel guilt, but it is nothing compared to my relief.

~

Twelve hours later my hair is clean of debris and I'm in a fresh uniform, the one I was wearing beyond salvation. A cigarette hangs beneath my fingers as I find myself in an informal meeting with Phillips while the SSR deals with the fallout.

"Erskine's family were killed by the Nazis and I doubt they would have been buried in marked graves," I tell him, struggling with the equal regret and guilt that's overcome me. Not for the serum, but for Erskine's fate and our shared past. "If he can't be buried with his family then he should be buried here with the appropriate customs."

He nods, but has greater concerns. "You shot dead the only man who could give us information."

"If you check the bullet proof vest he was wearing along with the bullet holes in his hand and leg then you'll see I'd tried to take him alive first," I retort, Howard standing nearby for support considering I've been expecting an interrogation. "And it wouldn't have mattered, he would have killed himself before we could so much as handcuff him."

"She's right, and Agent Carter's already said as much," Howard says and Phillips is called out of the room before an argument can ensue. "Come on, I think Peggy's with Rogers."

With a hand on my back Howard guides me to the room where Steve is undertaking observations by nurses, and we enter to find vials of blood being taken.

"Any hope of reproducing the program is locked in your genetic code," Peggy tells Steve. "But without Doctor Erskine it would take years."

Breaking the vial of serum is something I don't regret. I trusted Erskine with it, to oversee its administration and select the appropriate candidates, but with him gone there's no telling what the government would do with it. If anything I think he might have even agreed it was the right decision as hastily as I made it.

Now... now there's no possibility of it falling into Hydra's hands. No rogue scientist can sell it to the highest bidder, it can't be stolen, and no government can misuse what he had created. The serum may have died with Erskine, but the future he imagined can still be achieved. It has to be.

"He deserved more than this," Steve says and I look down at the floor. If I have one regret, it's that I couldn't save him. We had our fights and I'd lashed out in ways he didn't deserve, but in the end he was the one damn person who protected me when no one else did. Back when I was a teenage girl, strapped to a chair and screaming.

He was a good man who had hope for a brighter future. For peace. But surely he would understand that in the wrong hands the serum would lead to annihilation. The thought of the serum coming into the hands of the Nazis or the Soviet Union... that I could not allow. I did what had to be done.

And somehow I know that I'll be telling myself that until the day I die.

"If it could work only once, he would be proud it was you," Peggy says and she looks to see me standing with Howard. "Both of you."

Steve meets my eye and asks "Are you alright? You took the brunt of that explosion out on the street."

"I've had worse," I say and we hear voices arguing outside.

"I better get back to that submarine they found," Howard says and Peggy nods for us to follow. It's not long before we find that the voices belong to Phillips and Senator Brandt.

"Hydra's practically a cult, they worship Schmidt," Phillips informs the senator. "They think he's invincible."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

And despite better instincts I speak up. "You could actually put me in the field instead of keeping me locked up in Brooklyn."

"Here we go," Phillips mutters as they look over at me.

"You?" Brandt repeats and Howard sets his jaw at the tone. "The one who opened fire with a machine gun in the middle of the city? Lady, now isn't the time for jokes."

They each shrug off my glare before Phillips continues "I spoke to the president this morning. As of today the SSR is being re-tasked. We are taking the fight to Hydra. Pack your bags Agent Carter, you too Stark."

"And me?" I challenge, but Phillips won't even acknowledge me as he walks past.

"We're flying to London tonight."

"Sir," Steve speaks up. "If you're going after Schmidt I want in."

"You're an experiment, you're going to Alamogordo," Phillips says and finally glances at me. "Both of you."

"Excuse me?" I begin and Howard very quickly makes his way over to us.

"The serum worked," Steve insists, but Phillips can barely stand to look at either of us.

"I asked for an army and all I got was you and a mentally ill assassin," he states bluntly as Howard tries to intervene, but it's no use. "You are not enough, and she belongs in an asylum."

Peggy steps between Phillips and I as he makes his way out of the room, but before I can do something regrettable Senator Brandt comes over to us.

"With all due respect to the colonel, I think we may be missing the point," he says and Howard gives me a look to keep my cool. "I've seen you in action Steve, and you Adeline-" He turns to me now. "I understand why the colonel has his grievances, but you're too valuable to be locked away and if he's not going to put you to work then I think I have a solution that doesn't involve weapons. Paper."

Steve and I look at each other with caution, Peggy and Howard watching on in a similar unease as a newspaper's brought over.

"The country has seen you in action," he says and shows Steve's face on the front page, with a smaller photograph of myself with a pistol in hand. "The enlistment lines have been around the block since your picture hit the newsstands. Hell, we've had five times the normal amount of inquiries into women joining the WAAC." My eyebrows shoot up at the mention of the women's army corps, and he speaks directly to Steve. "You don't take a soldier, a symbol like that, and hide him in a lab. Phillips has wasted enough time with one of you as it is."

I look back at Howard and Peggy as Brandt puts a hand each on our backs and begins guiding us away, hope and dread rising equally.

"Do you want to serve your country?" he asks us. "On the most important battlefield of the war."

My stomach sinks, but Steve still believes he's going to be on the front lines. "Sir, that's all I want."

"Then congratulations, you just got promoted." He shakes Steve's hand before finally looking back over at me. "And you Adeline, I think I know just how we can put you to use."

~

November 3, 1943

Steve Rogers and I would soon become bound by shared humiliation with empty promises of being put into the field. Even now as we stand in Italy, mere miles from the front, I'm underwhelmed and so are the men we perform for.

The wind is cold against my legs, the navy nylon doing nothing to shield them from the damp wind. Despite all my performances I've never felt as bare as I do now, a damn pin-up girl for soldiers who probably haven't seen a woman in months.

I was a soldier, I was something, and here I am now.

A spectacle.

Still, I play my role to perfection, my voice and my smile both faultless as I perform renditions of the most terribly out of place songs USO could have possibly chosen. The showgirls and I get our fair share of whistles and I turn a blind eye to the men adjusting their trousers.

Despite the grotesque nature of these performances and the pinup costumes we wear, the few minutes we perform for are the only few minutes where I don't have to think. Just as I'd break my body on pointe in the Red Room for that peace of mind, I make my throat raw and my body cold for a similar escape. From a dancer to a singer. Although nothing could ever compare to the light headed euphoria and the sweet pain ballet would bring.

It's when Steve comes onstage that the crowd's attitude sours and I stand off to the side with a wide smile as he addresses the crowd. Captain America, the hero of America, the face of comic books and feature films. Meanwhile I'm Miss America, America's favourite pinup girl and damsel in distress who mends his wounds at the end of a fake fight.

The Soviet Union's greatest embarrassment.

"How many of you are ready to help sock old Adolf on the jaw?" Steve asks to the expected silence, a line I'd fought with the stage manager to change for this performance, but here we are. "Okay uh-"

I step forward to the mic when Steve begins to falter. "I need a volunteer."

Whistles and lude comments follow that make me wish I had a pistol in hand, but it's Steve they truly heckle.

"I already volunteered. How do you think I got here!"

"Let the girl sing!"

Steve looks off to the side in panic, but not wanting to put all the burden on me he says "I'll see what I can do."

"You do that, sweetheart!"

"Nice boots, Tinkerbell!"

My eyebrows shoot up at the insinuating slurs the men call him, even as he tries to level with them. "Come on guys, we're all on the same team here."

"Hey Captain, sign this!"

I look on in disgust as a man pulls down his pants and can't help myself as I grab the mic to remark "Sir, if you take pleasure in bending over for your fellow soldiers would you please save it for when you're in private?" Most of the soldiers laugh even if that earns a tomato from the one that called Steve Tinkerbell of all people and I dodge it with ease, months worth of spite starting to shine through. "Missed me."

Steve preemptively raises his shield as several more tomatoes are thrown and says "I don't think they like us."

"Oh they like me very much," I reply, hearing just how much they'd like to bend me over. "It's you they don't like."

"Why?" he asks, as if we aren't a big slap in the face to actual soldiers.

"Because we might as well be a circus," I mutter and pull Steve off the stage as they send the showgirls back on, and while they're happy enough to let Steve go they aren't happy to let me run away.

"Get back out there!" Our stage manager scolds and I'm certainly not forcing a smile for him.

"How the hell did you think bringing Captain America to an actual war camp would inspire the men?" I spit, able to smell the reek of blood and alcohol from here. "It's a humiliation for all of us."

"Then why don't you walk those pretty little heels back on stage and defend him," he suggests and utterly at my wits end I spit in his face as showgirls quickly run past us from the wings. "You're a bitch of a thing you know that!"

"I do know that, and you do you know what else I know? That I'm not just a damn pin-up girl for the soldiers to jack off to," I retort and stick my finger into his chest. "I don't belong in heels twirling a damn baton, I should be holding a gun and actually doing something for my country."

"Then I suggest you bring that up with Senator Brandt since you're a damn Communist with American blood on your hands," he says coldly and I feel Steve's hand on my arm before I can land the blow I was about to make.

"Come on, it's not worth it," he says and leads me away, only stopping so I can snatch my jacket on the way out.

~

Once the crowd's dispersed I find Steve taking cover from the rain and put out my cigarette before coming to sit with him. He's drawing in his notebook, a dancing monkey. An appropriate comparison.

I've come to be fond of Steve, although I often find conversation difficult with him when we're so different. He's polite, proper, patriotic; not fond of bad language or cigarettes. Peggy was similar, although we found a way around it.

God knows I miss her and Howard. I haven't even been able to speak to either of them since they left for London, and I'm starting to wonder if I never will again. The thought of that hurts worse than anything I've felt in a long time.

"You seem more downcast than usual," I note and he looks around at the rain.

"My best friend, Bucky," he begins and I lower my eyes. Steve's talked about him often but I've still never mentioned that night in Brooklyn for reasons unknown to even myself. Perhaps I simply want to hold that memory safe and tucked away rather than risk tarnishing it. "He's part of the 107th. I keep hoping I'm going to run into him at one of these things but..."

"It's a long front, chances are you'll run into him soon enough," I try to assure him, for a second the thought even brings me some relief, but I know what the odds are of him even still being alive. It's better to be realistic than hold false hope. "I imagine he'd get quite the surprise seeing you now."

That manages to make him laugh. "That's an understatement."

A sudden breeze comes through and I tell Steve "I'll be back, I'm just going to get something a little warmer to wear."

He nods and I make my way through the camp towards the tent I share with the other showgirls, only to be stopped in my tracks by a familiar face.

"There you are."

"Peg!" I exclaim and hug her tight, both of us a little surprised but she's the first familiar face I've seen in months. "The hell are you doing here?"

"Unofficial business," she says and looks towards the stage in apprehension. "It's worse than I had imagined."

"So, you saw the circus then?" I gather and she gives an apologetic nod as I light another cigarette.

"I did," she sighs, looking me up and down, freezing cold in my pin-up outfit and a stolen jacket. "As lovely as you look I can only imagine how much you hate it."

"Steve had to stop me from punching the stage manager earlier," I say and she nods in understanding. "I think I'd rather go back to sitting around Howard's lab. At least then I was only being flirted with and not heckled, and I only had one roommate that didn't stay up all night gossiping over soldiers."

She gives a strained smile. "I can assure you that you've been very much missed. Howard's been wanting to come to one of these shows but they've kept him in London."

I look around at the camp and tell her "Brandt keeps promises all these things, that if we keep it up Steve will be put in the field and that I'll have some role on the front but it's been months and here we are."

She brings me over to a crate and we sit together, her perfume a welcome scent in an army camp. "I recruited you in that prison because Doctor Erskine believed that you would be our greatest asset. Fluent in more than half a dozen languages, possessing mastery in firearms and hand to hand combat, skilled in coding and operating complex machinery as well as possessing perfect physical standard of health. You were a weapon-"

"And now I'm a pin-up girl," I finish bitterly, lighting another cigarette. "I don't understand why they won't put me in the field, or at least send me into Germany to take out some targets."

"Because they're fools. They won't put Steve in the field either despite being a super soldier, and you should be infiltrating Hydra bases instead of stripping off for crowds of men, meanwhile I'm sentenced to follow Phillips around like a glorified secretary." She gives an almost defeated sign. "But here we all are."

"Getting tomatoes thrown at us," I finish and she shakes her head. "I know they're soldiers but I truly wish I could hit some of them."

"They're men who've been through hell, but yes, some are repulsive," she acknowledges. "I don't know how Brandt thought his little show could have a positive reception here."

Upon seeing an ambulance pull up with another wounded man I ask "What happened to them?"

"The 107th," she begins and the air turns colder. "Most of their unit was killed or captured, these are the survivors."

There's a pit in my stomach as I look over to where Steve sits and I take a long draw from the cigarette knowing that I have news to break, but first I take a moment to recall that memory in Brooklyn. The spark in his blue eyes, how tender his touch was, his laugh... I can only pray that his death was quick.

"We need to tell Steve." She looks at me in confusion and I stare out into the rain. "His best friend was in the 107th."

Her face falls and silently we walk over to Steve who sits there none the wiser, although his face lights up at the sight of Peggy.

"What are you doing here?"

"Officially I'm not here at all," she says and I nod for her to carry on with conversation, to let him at least have one pleasant moment ​​before we break the news. "That was quite a performance."

"Yeah," he says roughly. "I had to improvise a little bit. The crowds we're used to are usually a little more uh- twelve."

"I understand that you're America's new hope."

"Bond sales take a ten percent bump in every state that I visit," he says and I leave them to their conversation to march over towards a group of soldiers, wanting to make sure before breaking the news. Silently praying that his friend may be one of the wounded who wasn't in the crowd.

There's whistles that I ignore and I find the most respectable looking of the men to approach on the outskirts. "There was a man who was part of your division, Sergeant James Barnes," I begin and his face falls, but still I push on. "Bucky. Did he make it back?"

He gives an apologetic shake of his head. "No ma'am, he made it out there alright, but he didn't make it back. I don't know if he was killed or captured but one of the officers should be able to tell you if his dog tags were brought back."

"Thank you, Sir," I say, and have to take a moment to compose myself before returning to Steve and Peggy, making it back in time to hear Steve's words to her.

"I finally got everything I wanted, and I'm wearing tights."

"I can sympathise," I say and they look over at me, Peggy's face is grave when she realises where I've been and I tread carefully. "Steve, that friend you told me about, the man of Barnes... he was with the 107th wasn't he?"

His eyes widen. "He is."

"Steve," I begin apologetically. "These men are what's left of the 107th. I'm sorry, but he didn't make it."

Although Peggy tries to be the optimist, to give him hope. "The rest of the division was killed or captured."

But before she can explain the situation his jaw clenches and he's on his feet, Peggy and I rushing after him as he takes off into the rain. She curses under her breath, both of us pulling off our jackets and holding them above our heads as we chase him over to the officers tent.

"Steve," I shout out only to come to an abrupt stop when I realise just who's here, the reason Peggy's been brought along. "Colonel Phillips."

"Well," he says as I pull my jacket back on for some modesty. "If it isn't little Miss America and the Star Spangled Man with a Plan. What is your plan today?"

His mocking catches me further off guard and immediately Peggy grabs my wrist, keeping me a safe distance back as Steve approaches his desk.

"Bastard," I curse under my breath in Russian and she raises her eyebrows before nodding in agreement, even so she still keeps a tight enough hold on me as Steve begins rambling.

"I need the casualty list from wherever these men last were."

"Azzano," Peggy clarifies for him but Phillips isn't willing to hear it.

"You don't get to give me orders, son."

"Just give him the damn list," I spit out, not caring about the hateful glare I receive for it at this point.

"I just need one name," Steve pleads. "Sergeant James Barnes from the 107th."

Phillips points his pen at Peggy. "You and I are gonna have a conversation later that you won't enjoy."

"Please tell me if he's alive, Sir," Steve interrupts, and I can hear the tears he fights back. "B-A-R-"

"I can spell," Phillips dismisses and I watch silently as he puts down his papers after a moment of consideration, seeing pity on his face for the first time since he informed me of my father's death.

"I have signed more of these condolence letters today than I would care to count, but the name does sound familiar," he says to Steve with a heaviness in his voice. "I'm sorry."

Upon seeing the denial on Steve's face I reach for his sleeve to draw his attention. "Steve, I spoke to one of the men before coming to you... they said he didn't make it back."

"Then what about the others?" Steve immediately asks. "Are you planning a rescue mission?"

"Yeah," Phillips says, any empathy disappearing from his voice. "It's called winning the war."

"How far behind enemy lines are they?" I interrupt and Phillips actually looks surprised at the words that come out of my mouth.

"They're thirty miles behind enemy lines through the most heavily fortified territory in Europe. We'd lose more men than we'd save," he says before stepping closer. "But I don't expect you to understand that, because you're both chorus girls."

"I think I understand just fine," Steve says bitterly but I raise my finger to quieten him, too far past caring to stop the words that come out of my mouth.

"I made it from Russia to France across the Eastern and the Western Front and countless blockades," I argue. "I can make it across another."

Considering his lack of an argument, he gives a single word answer. "No."

"If you're going to sit on your ass and leave them to die just like the Soviet Union does to their soldiers then fine," I say before letting my Russian accent slip through. "Welcome comrade, you're as bad as a damn Communist."

"You shut your mouth," he scolds but I'm far from finished.

"Let me go behind those lines and I can infiltrate the base," I say and he just shakes his head like I'm a stupid little girl. "I was undertaking far more dangerous missions long before America ever joined the war-"

"Yeah, on Stalin's orders," he reminds me. "And we all know the type of missions he sent you on before you decided that you were being hard done by and made your little escape attempt."

"Yes, and I always finished the mission when you weren't there to fuck it up," I spit back, my eyes burning. "There is no one better equipped for this than I am."

He stands with his arms crossed over his chest and proceeds to attempt to intimidate me, but I could have him dead in an instant.

"I don't trust you," he argues. "I don't trust you to have any level of access to our intelligence and certainly not to act on the behalf of the United States in infiltrating Hydra."

My voice is ice. "And why is that, Colonel?"

"Because you're a damn Russian spy just like your mother and Hydra's little science experiment," he says and lowers his voice. "Erskine isn't here to protect you anymore, and we know damn well why they call you the Red Widow. I'm surprised you don't come armed with a hammer and sickle. Hell, for all I know you're a damn Nazi too."

Peggy's hand wraps around my arm before I can hit him and begins tugging me away. "Just come with me."

"No," I say, brushing her off and sticking my finger in Phillips's face. "I don't come armed with a hammer and sickle, I come armed with super soldier serum and a deadlier skillset than any American agent in history, because guess what? I'm not a Communist or a fucking Nazi, I am an American citizen and you cannot take that away from me. Our government wanted a weapon, well here I am. I suggest you put me to use or someone else will."

And with that I turn my back on the Colonel and walk off back into the rain with Peggy and Steve following close by. I march back into the tent they have set up and Steve's right by my side while I rant.

"Someone needs to put a bullet in Phillips's mouth and I-"

"Ada," Peggy warns. "Phillips is out of line but-"

"No, someone needs to do something," Steve declares and that stops both Peggy and I in our tracks, but we quickly realise that he isn't proposing we murder Phillips. "Someone needs to break them out."

"What do you plan to do?" Peggy exclaims. "Walk to Austria?"

"If that's what it takes."

My reaction comes without a second thought. "I can steal a jeep and get us behind enemy lines."

"No," Peggy chastises before telling Steve "You heard the Colonel, your friend is most likely dead."

Even if I'm in agreement with Peggy, Steve still has hope. "You don't know that."

"Even so, he's devising a strategy, if he detects-"

"Fuck strategy," I decide, set on freeing those prisoners regardless if James is alive or not. "Phillips can rot in hell with his strategy for all I care."

"And by the time he's done that it could be too late," Steve finishes, him and I finally seeing eye to eye. "Ada."

"Let me get changed into something half practical and I'll be right with you," I say and he nods before rushing out of the tent, Peggy following after him in a panic. I abandon trying to find a different set of clothes to chase after them before she can try to talk him out of it.

"You told me you thought I was meant for more than this," Steve says to her after throwing his shield in an unoccupied jeep. "Did you mean that?"

And I see Peggy looking at him, rain drenched and wide eyed, in a way I've never seen her look at anyone. "Every word."

"Then you got to let me go," he says but she stops him, although not for the reason I would have thought, and just like that Steve Rogers has broken through Peggy Carter's strict obedience of protocol, and any common sense.

It makes me proud to see.

"I can do more than that."

A/N: There will be a subplot of these unrequited feelings between Howard and Ada that will have more significance later in the story, with a little jealousy on Bucky's part in later chapters. As hinted at in the second chapter, the oc is bisexual and this will continue to be hinted at throughout the story, with a little exploration of this when we reach 2013 onwards when she still believes Bucky is dead. 

No Bucky this chapter since it's following the events leading up to right before they rescue him, but he will be in every chapter going forward while the story is still set in the 40's.