James and Kim walked past him. "Hey, Franny. We'll see you soon."

François was stitching a soldier's arm. "Where are you going?"

"The battle, it's today."

"Shit, I completely forgot. Be safe."

"Thanks." James slapped his calf as they walked outside. "God, my fucking leg, it's been hurting for a week straight."

---------------------

François feel asleep before they came back. Suddenly, someone slapped him across the face so hard he fell off the chair he was on. Before he could yell, the person shoved medical tools in his hands and ordered him into a room. Fuzzy, the chaos of the injured and the bitter loss of the battle woke him up. He ran in and closed the door.

"Fran. François, man, you need to help me. I can't feel my leg anymore..." He jumped when he heard James' quivering voice.

François looked at him, then he looked down. He only had one hand. He only had half his left leg. He was covered in blood, he looked so pale.

The door slammed and screaming deafen him. Lloyd rushed past him to comfort James and try to clean up the blood. François snapped out of it and sprung into action. Kim ran in, shouting something in Korean, holding the rest James' leg in his shaking hands. James threw up and passed out when he saw Kim slip in blood, his blood, and drop his leg.

Lloyd tried in a desperate attempt to shove the leg back. "IT'S NOT GOING BACK! FRANÇOIS, DO SOMETHING!" He jammed it so hard a splatter of blood painted his face.

His blue eyes widen. "STOP THAT!" He grabbed the leg. "LET GO!"

"NO! WE CAN FIX IT!"

They played tug-of-war. François knew it was a lost cause, Lloyd didn't. The foot of the leg was hanging on by a vein, two toes were missing. Kim had to grab it from both of them and throw it somewhere neither of them could get it. A lady screamed when it landed in her room.

"YOU STUPID PRICK!" They both turned to Lloyd, he never spoke to Kim in English nor yelled at him. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID!"

François shouted at him to calm down and gave him a blood transfusion as told Lloyd to stitch up the wound on his arm. He was the verge of fainting, Kim had to shake him so he would stay awake.

-------------------------------

That evening, James was awake and stable. Lloyd didn't leave him for those five hours. White told him that James was going home, he can't fight anymore. He didn't even get the chance to say goodbye, the minute he turned his back they took him away.

Kim and François were there when he left. They both held their breathe before turning to face Lloyd. They expected tears, screaming, but no. He was stone-faced.

"Lloyd...?" François touched his shoulder. "Lloyd..."

They both stared at him, then each other. The fear in their eyes confirmed what the other was thinking, this was worst than any other reaction he could've had. Lloyd turned on his heel and walked away. Kim almost followed him but stopped himself. Maybe he needed a minute.

One minute. Two minutes. One hour. Two hours. Three hours. Six hours.

It was dark by the time Kim and François decided to drive around to look for him. They were in silent panick, driving so recklessly that they almost crashed into a tree. It didn't help that it was chilly and they were in Serbia.

The blood was everywhere. Body parts were on the ground. A tan hand still grasping its gun was ran over by the wheels of the car.

They found him after a few minutes. Face down in the water with scars on his legs turning the river a hideous shade of red. Kim rushed out to grab him and throw him in the back as François became hysterical, crying in his hands and constantly turning back to see him, still unconscious and facing away from them.

"Look, he's drunk." François turned to Kim, who was speaking in clumsy and shaking French. "He got sad, acted dumb, drank too much, and somehow got there. He fell somewhere, maybe in a bush."

Francois nodded. They both knew the truth. They knew Lloyd well. The blank look in his eyes from before, the knife in his pocket, no fucking way he didn't do that on purpose. But if they said anything, Lloyd would have to be sent to some kind of crazy house, such a disgrace he would be to his family.

"Yeah, yeah he did! The bar is so close from here!" The bar closed a month ago. "Besides, he hasn't slept in two days. He must've been walking around and just fell asleep in the water!"

Kim chuckled and hit his shoulder. "Yeah! Exactly!"

François smiled shakingly and nodded, then started sobbing again. Kim didn't try to comfort him, he kept driving in silence.

------------------------------

When they got back to base, hiding Lloyd from everyone, they put him in his room. François felt like a monster. He knew, he fucking knew. But he acted like he knew it was an accident. He gave him medicine to wake him up. Kim smiled at him when he did. Smiles make everything better.

"Hi, Lloyd!" Kim sounded cheery, way too cheery. "You got drunk and we found you at the bar, silly!"

Lloyd, shocked that he survived, turned to François. His eyes spoke for him, he knew. But he agreed with Kim and said that he shouldn't drink too much next time. Then he gave him the phone and said he could have a phonecall.

Lloyd picked up the phone. They were lying. They know everything. They know he's crazy. "Can you leave me alone for a while?"

François didn't want to. He wanted to be glued to Lloyd's hip so he could never do anything like this again, but Kim basically pushed him and himself out the room. The French one was crying again.

Kim covered his mouth and looked down. "He knows."

In the room, Lloyd broke down. Why was he still alive? Why were his friends lying to him? Who could he call? Mulligan and Charles were already worried sick about James and his parents already think he's hanging on by a string. He could call Sarah, it was about 4:40pm in Canada. She picked it up on only one ring.

"Lloydie! What's up!" She sounded so happy. He heard her kid crying in the background. She had her daughter about a year ago.

"Can I tell you something...?"

Her heart dropped when she heard his tone. "Yeah, just let give Lana to the wifey." After a few seconds, she came back. "Ok, I'm back."

"You ca-" he started crying again. It took a few seconds to get himself back together. "You can't tell anyone, ok?"

"Yeah..."

"I did something really really stupid."

"What did you do?" Her heart started to pound. Lloyd is always so happy when he calls her, not this time. "You need to tell me the truth."

His voice deepen and quieted. "I tried killing myself."

She started crying. "No way. No way. No way!"

"I just slipped. I took stuff, I forgot what, I cut myself, and then I jumped in the river." Hearing that aloud made it so real and dumb. "I'm a dumbass, but it was only once!"

She spoke through sobs. "Lloyd, why?!"

His mind went blank, he stared at his bandaged legs. "I-I don't know..."

She couldn't talk anymore, she was crying too hard. Her baby brother in the lake. Her baby brother taking stuff. Her baby brother not safe in his own sick mind.

"Look, I'm sorry. I just didn't know what else to do! And my friends are lying to me! They're saying that they found me at the bar, no they didn't! I know they're lying!"

He just started talking to himself at that point, so he made her promise again not to tell a soul before hanging up. He felt bad for blindsiding her, but it felt a bit good to talk to someone.

François came back a few minutes after and offered stupid stuff like tea or something to eat. He didn't dare look at him. For once, in their six months of knowing each other, he was angry with him. He didn't care about him, he lied to him. But he let him hold to sleep, he needed someone there.

Once Lloyd was asleep, François wept as he hugged his head. He knew he was being a prick, Goddammit he knows! All he wants to do is comfort him. Kim didn't let him, in fact he was whispering from the other side of the room to shut up so he could sleep. That shocked him. All this time, Kim has been so nice. But he's no better. They're assholes. They're terrible people. Horrible friends.

----------------------

The next day, Lloyd was called on stage to be promoted to general along with White. The tall one was so excited, he was all smiles as they put the ranks on his collars. Lloyd didn't smile, he just stared into space.

The clapping didn't mean anything, nothing meant anything. François and Kim were there, smiling and clapping. Bastards. How could they be happy? They must want him dead.

Everyone must want him dead. That's why they're so happy. Nobody in this room liked him, they only liked his ranks. His parents must hate him for what he did, everyone in the world hates him.

Kim and François left as Lloyd was given a paper and handshakes. He didn't feel anything.

He walked outside. He saw Kim blankly staring at the sky.

"Kimmy." Lloyd spoke to him in Korean. "Kimmy, I'm a general now. What should I do?"

OPHELIA-  Friedrich Wilhelm Theodor Heyser