"Are you ready, Franny?"

"Oh my God, for sure."

This could be exciting, at least for François. He had his first kiss, date, and now, he was going to have sex for the first time! He wasn't being bashful. He was immediately getting undressed, Lloyd stroking his scars. That always made his heart flutter.

"Can I ask you something?" Lloyd was sitting on the bed, taking off everything except his earrings and skirt.

The taller was looking in the mirror, fluffing up his hair with his hands. "Yeah?"

"If I say no, will you stop?"

He turned to him, his hand still up to touch his hair. Lloyd looked down, kicking his feet.

"Sorry." He tapped his earring, enjoying the vibration he got from it. "I just got scared."

"No, it's alright to ask that. I understand why." He sprayed himself with colone before sitting next to him, only wearing his boxers. "I'll stop if you want me to, just say no or something like that, and I'll won't do it anymore."

He smiled at him. "Thanks, baby." He glanced down. "Oh."

François raised his eyebrow before smirking, realizing what he was looking at. "You like it?"

"Um-"

"You can touch it." They both looked at each other. The redhead blinked twice, his mouth works faster than his brain. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you-" he gasped when he felt a hand on the area, only for it to be pulled away quickly and giggling following suit.

"You said I could!" He was smiling again, blushing wildly as the other was recovering from that, grinning. "Can you take off my skirt?"

His voice cracked. "Yeah, ok!" He took off his white belt first, fumbling with the golden buckle. He slowly took off the black fabric, the material feeling nice. He was wearing dark green boxers-briefs.

He giggled again, "Uh, can we take ours off at the same time?"

"Hehe, yeah."

It was weird, but a good type of weird. François saw him naked once, but that was only during the surgery. He didn't even stare at him like that. His eyes were too blurry, and his mind was racing. But now, both of them were taking off each other's boxers. Lloyd's was off first, and he was ok with that. He was clean shaved all over, his skin was white as snow. His smile was huge.

François couldn't speak. He was looking at a Greek statue of a goddess. He touched his boney hands, smiling and turning his head to see all angles. The other felt treasured. The only time he was naked in front of anyone was his uncle. He remembered feeling confused, almost frightened by the foreign look in his red eyes. He hated that look. But his boyfriend was almost in a trace just by his body. He wasn't doing anything wrong.

He took off the redhead's boxers. He awed at it. It had little red curls around it. It felt like a toy that he wanted to play with. François didn't know what was on his mind until he saw him grab a pencil, ruler, paper, and protractor. This fucking nerd.

"Let me just-" he held it out for him, laughing on the inside. "Ok-" he wrote his measurements on the paper and did some writing. "I could see that it's perfect." He smiled up at his boyfriend, who was covering his mouth. "It may hurt getting in, but that's just fine. Perfect width, by the way. Not too fat and not too skinny."

"Well, I payed for it." They both laughed. "You nerd." He hugged him. "Before anything, condoms or no?"

"I mean, we can't get each other pregnant." The thought of that made the other laugh again.

"True. It's not like we ever had sex before." Lloyd put his head down. "I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry." He hugged him again.

"It's ok, I understand." He looked down. "Why is there no freckles on it?"

He suddenly busted into laughter. "Sweetheart, I don't know! Are you ready?"

"Yeah, I guess? I don't really know what to do, to be honest."

"Me either." He looked to the radio. Lloyd's things weren't all packed and put away yet, he's only been here for three days. He flipped it on. TV Girl was playing.

"Maybe...we just sorta do whatever?"

"Hm, sure."

They sat on the bed, both feeling awkward. They thought they would instantly know what to do, it looked so easy in the movies. François at least knew to use lube, which made the other feel wet. He felt almost ashamed to do that, but this time, he had control. He wanted this to happen. It was alright to feel like this.

"Uhh, I think you need to get on top of me." The freckled one kicked his feet, playing with the stomach rolls he gets when he sits.

Shamefully having to Google what that meant, Lloyd laid on top of him. It felt strange, but also nice. He liked the way the strong freckled arms wrapped around him, gluing him to his body.

"Franny, can I touch it?" His voice was shy as his eyes were sparkling.

"Of course you could." The other was hot from blushing and for some reason sweating.

The lines felt funny in his hands. He rubbed it, then stroked it. It was first time François moaned. It was quiet.

"I'm really sorry!" He spoke fast. "I-"

"Hey, it's only natural. It actually sounded nice." He smiled. "Can you do it again?"

"I mean-" he was a mess, but a happy mess. "-I can't just like, do it."

The shorter rubbed it again. He saw the tip. It looked funny, so he played with it. François moved and made high-pitched sounds, which only added to the excitement of rubbing and putting his thumb on and off of it. He felt buoyant.

"You did a very good job with that." He said as he laid down next to François, who was recovering from the excitement. He began to blush harder, Lloyd laughing. "Ah, I found your weakness!"

"Shh!" He rubbed his temple. "My turn?"

"Yeah." He was getting ready, though he didn't know what to expect. Deep down, he knew what could happen, but he hoped it wouldn't. He felt safe, and he really wanted this experience. He wasn't crying, fighting back, or begging for help this time.

The one with the messy curly hair put Lloyd's scarred legs on his shoulders. For a short person, he had long, white legs. In a strange way, it was healing to see him like this. He remembered how sickly he looked during the war. Even in his layered uniform, he could see his boney body. He could feel all his ribs and even his backbone when they hugged. His skin was a horrible shade of pale yellow. But now, although still underweight, he looked so much more healthy. He had some much needed fat back. The bags that dragged his eyes down weren't as visible anymore. He didn't look like a skeleton, he looked human again.

"You look so beautiful." Lloyd smiled, covering his mouth. "You look healthy again."

"Thank you. I feel healthier than before." That sentence made his boyfriend beam.

He started slow. Birds Don't Sing was playing as he began to thrust. It hurt, but it didn't feel bad. They got startled by bleeding from François' end, but after another quick Google search, they continued. He loved the way Lloyd sounded. He loved the way he touched his bouncing curls. He loved his sweaty pale skin. He loved everything about him.

"Keep going!" His voice was high as sweat ran down his white face. "Good job, baby!"

François was going to cum, but he asked if Lloyd wanted it inside. He said no. He quickly took it out and cummed on the bed. The smaller thought the liquid looked so funny, everything about this was fun. He wrapped his arms around him, putting the redhead back below him.

He kissed his freckled skin, tasting the salt from his sweat. The other was giggling and kicking his feet. He marked him with pink lipstick and hickies. He was a prize, everything about him was a treasure. He played with his wet hair. He loved how red it was, it looked like rubies. His eyes were sapphires. The way his eyes watered when it was sunny or when he would be half asleep and the blue would glow always make him melt. He really loved his freckles. It's as if the stars wrapped him and decided to stay on his skin. How special to have all those wonderful things, and how blessed one must be to stand in its presence.

He got off, laying next to him. François was staring up at the ceiling, sweating as he covered his pearls with the blanket. Force of habit, he supposed. He was all smiles. He had lipstick stains up to his forehead down to his ankles. Lloyd had his left arm under his head and a cigarette in his right. Loving Machine was playing.

"That was really fun, oh my gosh." He was playing with the blanket. "I feel really happy we did that."

Lloyd looked over at him, his eyes squinting when he smiled with his lips. "Thanks for making me feel safe, I loved that."

The other beamed again and hugged him. He felt the other's skinny hands stroking his wet back. They wrapped their legs together. He remembered when his friends in high school would talk about having sex for the first time. They acted like it was best thing someone could do. Before tonight, he thought that was all bullshit. But this was better than anything he could've ever imagined.

Sex was always a sour topic for the other. He never wanted it that young, he never wanted it with someone so close to him like that. It was a horrible experience that made his skin crawl and his eyes water when he remembered his younger self alone in the bed each night after it happened, praying to God to make sure it didn't happen again, but it always did. In school, Mulligan brought up the topic once, which sent him into a panic attack and made him spill everything. Of all the terrible things his ex did, the one of the few things he did do right was respect that boundary and never brought up the topic again.

Both of them thought nobody would enjoy sex with them. Who would want a trans guy who wore oversized hoodies and was ashamed of his scars? Who would want a person who was considered a biological error by every doctor he visited? François always saw himself as ugly with his big nose and stupid freckles. Lloyd was scared of wanting to be horny and having that person either abuse him again or turn away when they saw his problem. Tonight was different. Lloyd wanted it and François didn't feel embarrassed. It was safe. It was fun. It was loving.

"I think we should shower so we don't get infections." Lloyd put out his cigarette in the ash tray Luna made for him in her art class. He laughed when she gave it to him for Christmas. It also gave him a sense of embarrassment, though. It wasn't a good example for a little girl.

François sat up and yawned. "Yeah, you're right. I'll shower first, I'll be quick."

"Can we do it together?" He smiled at his boyfriend, who nodded frantically.

They walked in together. François put on a skincare mask as Lloyd turned on the water. It was too hot for the shorter then too cold for the taller before finding a balanced temperature. The one with white skin got to clean the other's hair. He squeezed his curls with conditioner and combed it with his fingers. It was relaxing. The other was practically falling asleep in the shower. His boyfriend cradled him as the water dripped down their skin. It was almost like paradise.

After they were both clean, Lloyd helped the other dry and get into bed. He put boxers on him and tucked him in. He heard snoring as he put panties and pajamas pants on. He hugged the other's shoulders and fell asleep, the radio playing The Smiths.

"And you never knew, how much I really liked you. Because I never even told you~"

---------

In the morning, he woke up late. He stretched and saw Blueberry by the bed, waiting for morning pets.

"Good morning, pretty princess." He tasted his own morning breath in his mouth as he rubbed her double chin.

He looked around. François' side was empty. He must've gone to work. He rubbed his head and reached for his pack. He was about to light up when the other walked in, holding two plates of food.

"Good morning, Lloydie!" He took the cigarette out of his hand and gave him a bottle of lemonade instead. "I made you food."

He looked at the omelet and croissant. There were strawberries and blueberries in a bowl next to them. "Thanks, sweetheart."

As he was taking his medication, the redhead snuggled up to him, smiling and rubbing his forehead. His boyfriend was surprised, he was always so grumpy and tired in the mornings.

"You slept well?" He ate the omelet before hugging the other, feeling wet again.

"Yeahh. I had dreams about last night." The taller giggled, covering his mouth.

"Me too." He played with his red hair. "I really had a good time. Should we do it again tonight?"

"Yes!" He kissed his face. "But no smoking afterwards, not good for you." Lloyd groaned and agreed. He loved smoking, but he loved François more. "Love you."

"Love you too." He stroked his cheek and kissed his head. "Pretty boy."