I know. I know.😂😭 I have been such a no-show, but I'm not going to bore you with the reasons. I wouldn't technically say I'm back but what matters most is that I'm here now. I really hope that's enough. I'm deeply sorry for the inconsistencies in updates. What hurts more is that I can assure you that it's going to stop anytime soon. But what I can tell you is that I'm not giving up on this book, so stick around if you can, the ride just got insanely intense.🔥

Without wasting much time, let's dive into today's business.😍

Jysk, this chapter is extremely spicy, in other words, not for keeeeeedssssssss. But then, I know you people have coconut heads, so fire on!😂🔥

The song for this chapter-Strangers (Sad Acoustic Version) by Kenya Grace.

~STEFAN BIBITAYO OLUYIDE~

"And then, darkness descends..."

"Stefan, freaking out is only going to make things worse." Jeremy's calm voice crushed the last of my nerves, causing me to grit my teeth in annoyance.

If there's anything I have learnt, it's never to tell someone who's so worked up to calm down. It never works. It only makes them more aggravated.

"Then, what am I supposed to do?" my tone comes off combative as I raked my fingers through my bushy hair, glaring at the dark-skinned boy on the left side of the screen of my phone.

"For starters," a loud crunching sound followed, coming from the light skinned boy whose face was currently displaying on the right upper side of the screen. "Take a deep breath." He tossed another round of chips in his mouth, munching on it aggressively.

I found the sound so upsetting.

"Can you not chew so loudly?" Jeremy asked, exasperated.

"Baba, na plantain chips. How I wan take chop am?" Abasi puncuated his wrds with a grumpy hiss and turned to me.

I was tempted to rise to my feet and resume pacing around like I had been doing since I was up since 4am today before I called them.

But, I refrained, cracking my knuckles.

For a moment, I was frustrated that my phone wasn't in my hands-I had it safely strapped against the phone holder that was glued to my dressing mirror-because there'd have been something for me to latch my sweaty fingers onto.

"You don't get it." I sighed, frustrated, burying my face into my palms and groaning into it.

"We don't get what? Okay, let me rephrase." Jeremy chuckled. The sound of Abasi devouring his plantain chips was still echoing in the room so I tried my best to focus on something else. "I don't get what? I don't understand how it feels to feel like you are going insane because the girl you love is not talking to you?" he scoffed, sounding genuinely offended.

"Contextually speaking, I understand what that's like. When Ashley and I fell out around the beginning of this term, all I wanted to do was fade into oblivion because I didn't know how to deal with the pain. I could remember how relieved yet nervous I was when Shakira devised a means for me to speak to her. I wanted to bail on it at the last minute because I know how vicious my girl can get when she's mad, but I didn't-

"You know why? Because I love her. And as much as I wanted to chicken out, I stood my ground and fought for her, for us, for what we had. I knew that I might as well start roaming the streets like a proper madman if I didn't get my head in the game and make her see how much she means to me. So yeah, Stefan, I get it." I looked up to meet his piercing gaze, catching the sterness his facial features were drawn into.

"Wow," Abasi chipped in and Jeremy rolled his eyes. "I like as the both of una dey speak from experience. Una don too see shege, una wan use advice wound each other. The God wey do am for una make e avoid me, abeg." He maintained a straight face that should definitely be studied because I found myself chuckling against my will.

I could have sworn I saw the corner of Jeremy's mouth move.

"Abasi, abeg na!" The darker guy clasps his hands together, pleading fervently.

"Oya, oya, I don hear." Abasi laughed, his eyes shining with unending mischief. "But seriously though, we feel you, brother. Jeremy almost craze when Chi comot hin life, so it's not hard to relate to how you are feeling right now." He drops his chips, sitting up and pushing his hoodie off his rich, dark curly hair.

"Tell him o!" Jeremy snorted. "Besides, you are going to see her today. You guys are going to talk about the whole thing and straighten things out." I knew he was trying to portray that as a silver lining but it only dampened my mood further.

It wasn't that I wasn't happy to see her. I was. Heck, I barely slept the whole night. I was acting like a child who just got gifted a bicycle and decided to sleep with it on his bed because he couldn't believe it was truly his.

"That's the problem!" I exclaimed. "I'm going to see her today but what if she doesn't want to see me? What if she tells them not to let me in? For all I know, she might have changed her mind." I lamented bitterly.

Jeremy's lips twitched in a smile and Abasi had a chucky-like grin on his face. I squinted my eyes at them, not hiding my distaste.

"What?" I barked.

"It'd be so much fun to dwell on the fact that you are openly admitting the fact that you are crazy about her and not hiding under the annoying guise of friendship," he said with a teasing smile. "But then, that's not the point." He brushed it off.

"Exactly!" I snapped.

"You don't know all these things. You are merely speculating, Stefan. You are overthinking everything." Abasi spoke up.

"Am I?" I arched a brow at them. "You weren't there when I told her I loved her after we shared the best kiss of my life. She shut down completely. She looked at me like I wasn't even there and dashed out of the room like she couldn't stand being in the same place with me. She shut me out for days, so you can't tell me that I'm overthinking what she might do next. I'm not wrong for feeling this way when all she has done is run from me." I poured out my mind, the pain coating my words not going unnoticeable.

Jeremy exhaled. "But, you are not going to know if you just sit here and allow the maybes eat at you. Go see her, Stefan."

"She wants to see you. That's why she called. So, get your ass up and go find out her reason for calling you." Abasi added, grabbing the jar of chips again.

"I don't even know what to wear." The lame excuse left my lips before I could even stop myself.

"Really?" Jeremy asked dryly. Abasi scrunched his face at me like he couldn't believe I just said that. "Guy, abeg. Just get up and change into something that doesn't make you look like a clown." He dismissed me, his eyes going over the shade of sweater and sweatpants that I was wearing.

They shared the same shade with the colour structure of the facial features of a clown.

"Rub roll on and use perfume o, fine boy." Abasi grinned.

I sent him a glare. "I'll uh...I'll let you guys know how it goes when I get back."

Jeremy sent me an approving nod and Abasi wiggled his eyebrows before I ended the call.

The call with Jeremy and Abasi found a way to undermine the situation at hand. I didn't know that. Not until I got off the call with them. The reality made my heart pound so hard and boy did it make my thoughts run wild. It conjured different horrifying outcomes in my head in a matter of seconds. It was like having my life flash before my eyes for a moment and it shook me out of my element.

But then, I knew that it'd only get worse as I was sitting ducks here. As agitated as I was, I knew that my friends were right. Overthinking was a fucking poison and no matter how horrible outcome of this conversation was in my head, it wasn't true.

I couldn't make the decision for her.

I had to let her do it on her own.

I was taken aback by my reflection in the mirror. I looked like a deer caught in headlights. The expression on my face spelt out dread in bold letters. I was freaking out and it was very obvious.

I didn't want to keep feeling sorry for myself, so I hit the showers, and carried out my morning routine.

I took Jeremy's advice to heart and settled for a pair of dark green joggers and white tee. I threw them on and went ahead to tame by bushy hair into something presentable. I hadn't particularly had the time to go for a haircut while my life has being falling apart. I stuck with a pair of dark thick rimmed glasses for a sense of stylishness, then fetched my car keys from the night stand.

I had barely gotten downstairs when the familiar light-hearted giggles caught my attention. I rolled my eyes playfully, inserting my hands into my pockets. The smile I was struggling to conceal fought its way out when I sighted my mom at the dining area.

She wasn't alone.

She definitely couldn't be because there was only one man who could ever unleash her inner child effortlessly. That man was my dad, her husband.

She was straddling my shirtless dad in his seat, her small hands wrapped around his neck. The larger than life black satin bonnet that was sitting pretty on her head, matching her silk PJs did a good job in shielding her head from my view. My Dad's muscular frame was still conveniently peeking out because her body barely overshadowed it.

I cleared my throat teasingly as I approached them. It earned their attention swiftly because the duo turned their heads in my direction. Two pairs of grey and brown eyes locked on me immediately.

The glint in my mom's eyes amplified, her pearly white teeth coming out on display. "Hey, sweetheart."

"Hi, mommy." I muttered, grinning at her. "Good morning, Dad." I directed my attention towards my smiling Dad, my gaze catching his soft, warm one. But then, there was something amusing about his expression and it made me a little embarrassed because he had figured me out already.

"Well, someone looks dashing." He teased me.

"I always look dashing." I defended myself.

"Oh, leave the boy alone, Jay. I'm sure he came down for breakfast." My mom maintained a sweet, innocent smile but I could see the mischief lurking in the corner of her eyes.

"Fine," I huffed. "I'm heading out to see Reina." I revealed what they already knew but wanted me to say anyway.

It was easy for them to guess because I have been very scarce these past few days. And quite grumpy too. I never really left my room. I couldn't skip meals because of mom would have my head but they knew that I was only eating to get them out of my hair.

"Awww, you two finally made up?" Mom's voice softened, her eyes boring into mine for answers.

"Sort of," I murmured, rubbing my nape nervously.

Her eyes lingered on me, expressing her desire to say more but she held back. I couldn't have been more grateful and relieved. Things between us were still delicate and I didn't want to talk about where we currently stood because I didn't know it myself.

She smiled knowingly. "Alright, let me fix you breakfast before you leave."

I shook my head, declining. "No, I'm fine. I'll have something when I'm back."

"No," she refuted sharply, "you should have something." She frowned, alarmed, trying to scramble to her feet.

"Mom-"

"You heard the boy, baby. He's fine." Dad placed a subtle yet possessive grip on her waist to keep her from getting up. "Right, Champ?" he craned his neck in my direction eagerly, wanting me to agree with him. He wasn't even hiding the whipped smile on his face.

I couldn't even blame the man. If my wife looked this good, I would want her around me always. In a way, it left a twinge of jealousy in me because I realised that I wanted that too.

I wanted it with Reina. Someday. I wanted a future with her and with how everything currently hung in the balance, I didn't think that I'd ever happen. And that made me stop breathing for a second.

But, I snapped out of it as quickly as I could. I mustered a smile, staring at my Dad.

"Dad's right." I chuckled. "I'm okay, Mom."

"See?"

"He's my son, Jay. I know it when he's lying." She huffed, folding her arms under her chest.

Dad chuckled in amusement, leaning to kiss her temple.

"Now, don't you have a girl to go get?" his brow tugged up in question.

"You don't want to keep Reina waiting." Mom said with a sly smile, backing him up.

I laughed. "I'll see you guys when I get back."

"I love you, baby!"

"Love you too, Mom!" I hollered, stepping out of the house and shutting the door behind me.

~

I had made several stops and I hadn't even gotten to my destination yet.

There was nothing unintentional about choosing to warm up my car before I drove out of the house, wasting extra five minutes to make headless convos with our barely educated security guard-not like I hate the guy or something but he just talks too much, making a stop at a restaurant to toy with the plate of smoky jollof rice and chicken I ordered-I barely ate up to five spoons, making a stop to watch a fight that broke out between a bike man and a danfo driver on the Ikoyi-Lekki bridge, stopping to check the state of my car engine on the road, and driving at an insanely slow speed when I knew I had a girl to see.

I was intentionally stalling.

Not knowing or not knowing what to expect was definitely deadlier than knowing.

I was one of the very few people who didn't know what it was like to live with anxiety but it has been my best friend these past few days. It was as poisonous as they say it was because my mind felt like an overly chaotic place to be in right now.

So, it was easy to allow myself reflect on what the kind of hell I had been living in these past few days than spend one more second thinking about what was looming right now.

I think a part of me died in that art studio after I told Reina I loved her and she bolted out of there like she couldn't stand my presence for one more second. At first, all I got from her was a very dead, vacant stare that seemed like she was trying to erase my existence from her mind. And when I tried to touch her-fuck-she reeled from me, shrugged on her clothes with a speed I still found bizarre and hightailed it out of there.

It was easy to be delusional, hoping that dropping that kind of bombshell on her just rattled her a bit. I clung to that belief until I started calling and she turned off her cell. I knew it wasn't light issues. When it's not as if the National grid had collapsed for the 365th time this year again.

Shakira turned off her phone on purpose to avoid me.

That was what marked my descent into madness. I called her incessantly, hoping that it'd somehow power her switched off phone. Double-texting meant texting twice, I crossed the line with it because I was slowly losing my mind and I needed to know how she was.

Not being able to reach her was like the weapon fashioned against me, so I devised a new means of reassurance. I began rereading our old chats over and over again, listening to the multiple voicenotes she had sent to me and obsessively checking the pictures she often spammed me like a creep.

That wasn't enough. I moved to her IG page. It wasn't overly active, so it had limited pictures. I was so sure that if pictures could speak, those images would have asked me if I hadn't done enough. It barely held me together and I had to seek out the one person I knew would have pictures and videos of her in abundance.

If there was one thing Zee loved to do, it was to flaunt her on her insta stories and page. Zee was very active on IG and had over a thousand posts. I looked through the pictures and videos on her page-including the videos that mostly featured zee, looking to see a glimpse of a camera flip where she had to say hi to the camera. Jeremy wasn't particularly friendly towards any male around his girl but I knew my best friend would understand my stalking his girl's page. He'd understand what it meant to be on the verge of insanity.

I had been suffering from a severe case of addiction back to back. I had been so used to her presence that I didn't know what her absence felt like and it was causing insane withdrawal symptoms.

It wasn't particularly healthy. I knew it. But if there was anything that these recent happenings has made clear, it was the fact that I couldn't survive without her. It was like living with a missing chunk of myself.

However, all this didn't change the fact that I was genuinely very pissed at myself. Not because I was the one who triggered her into recoiling into her shell. It was part but I was mostly mad at myself for being blind to the fact that everything I felt for her was fully reciprocated.

I mean, if I was unsure of everything else. Not that kiss. Reina didn't just kiss me. She kissed me like every part of her had been aching to do so, like she was finally ready to let go for that one moment and give in to what she felt for me.

I should have known. The clingy side of her that was reserved mainly for me. The kind of importance I held to her. The way she regarded me. The way she looked at me. The way she touched me. The way I was at the centre of everything to her. The way I was serving as an anchor for her.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I hated that I lied to myself for a very long time and blinded myself to the truth, hiding under the guise of friendship and walking on eggshells around her.

I wasn't just in love with her. I burned for her. I ached for her. I wanted her. I needed her.

What I felt for her was a perfect mix of love and obsession that was giving hardcore finished man.

They say there's a way every piece of the puzzle falls into place when you meet the right person. I didn't have to be in my twenties to know that or go through some self-discovery journey to know that Reina was the one.

She is endgame for me.

My heart skipped a few beats when I was drawn back to reality and I noticed the tall white building in the distance. My palms grew sweaty against the steering wheel as I struggled to maintain my composure. As my car rolled to a stop at a convenient parking spot, the security guard flashed me a crooked smile, waving his hands vigorously at me.

His gesture only made me feel ten times worse.

I gripped the steering wheel tighter, my eyes drifting shut. I drew in a long, hard breath and slowly puffed it out. I didn't automatically feel better but it went a long way in helping me gather my nerves. Taking one last glance at myself in the rearview mirror, I grabbed my phone and keys and stepped out of the car.

"Senior man," the security guard hailed me, "e don tey wey we see you for this side o." He pulled the gate open.

"I no dey around, na why." I lied smoothly through my teeth, sidestepping him into the house. "Shakira dey inside?" I asked him, keeping my eyes fixated on him instead of focusing on my raging heartbeat.

"Yes, small madam never comot since all these days." He replied.

I threw him a curt nod and flashed a stiff smile at the few workers lingering around.

"God, abeg." I murmured under my breath once I got to the door, reluctant to use the door bell. I eventually summoned the courage to press it once.

The few seconds I had to wait for someone to come get the door felt like eternity. I didn't get a chance to ring the doorbell for the second time because the door gently swung open, revealing the familiar dark-skinned woman who had her salt and pepper hair swept backwards in a low bun.

"Stefan!" she exclaimed, opening the door wider.

"Good morning, ma." I smiled, prostrating slightly.

"Please, come in. Shakira has been expecting you." She ushered me in. I breathed out in relief and walked past her into the enormous living room.

When I turned around, she had already closed the door and was practically grinning from ear to ear. I was a little confused but when I opened my mouth to speak, she closed the distance between us and pulled me in for a warm, motherly hug.

It instantly eased my apprehension.

I exhaled, surrendering myself into the hug. I wrapped my arms around her in return.

"It's been so long." She whispered. She pulled back slightly, not completely letting me go but so that she could get a proper glimpse at me. "How have you been?" she asked, her eyes glinting with warmth.

"I have been well, Mama Heather." I reciprocated the smile on her face. It was hard not to.

"I'm so sorry about everything that has been happening." She sighed.

I grew alarmed. "She told you?"

She chuckled. "She didn't have to, Stefan. I just knew things weren't okay with you two and it's not like she made it any less obvious with how extra cranky and detached she has been." A teasing grin made it's way to her face and my face heat up.

"Do you love her?"

"I love her." I answered without so much as a hesitation, nodding my head vigorously.

"Then, go talk to her. She's upstairs. Waiting for you." She urged me. Don't tell her I told you but I don't think she slept all through the night." Her grin grew mischievous and I couldn't help the satisfactory thrill that trickled through me.

I was going to get out of her grip but she held onto me.

"Not so fast. You are going to stay here and I'm going to get you a glass of water." Her stern voice held no room for arguments. "And don't say you don't want one because you are as pale as my hair colour right now and you won't survive it if you go up there looking like that." The older woman effortlessly dissed me as she walked away from me to fetch me a glass of water from the kitchen.

She was back in no time with a cold, refreshing glass of water.

I didn't even know how badly I needed something to quench my thirst until I took my first sip. I gulped the rest greedily and dragged out a long sigh.

"Now, you look more alive." She took the glass from me. She nudged her head towards the stairs. "What are you waiting for?"

"Thank you, Mama Heather." I flashed her an appreciative smile.

I turned around and raced upstairs.

"You are welcome!" she hollered after me. "You kids should keep the door open, please!" she added casually.

I would have choked if I still had water in my mouth. Not like that statement wasn't a normal thing that parents said to their kids whenever their partners came visiting but it didn't make it any less awkward. My cheeks were practically burning from embarrassment and I had to tap my cheeks a few times to get in line and get my mind out of the gutter.

Although I had only been here once, I still knew my way around. So, it didn't take much hassle to find her room. And when I did, my nervousness came rushing back. But this time, I had more control over it than it did over me.

I took my time to pull myself together, taking in as much deep breaths as I needed before knocking at the door.

"Come in,"

Fuck.

~

This addiction was borderline unhinged and it should feel absolutely unhealthy the way every inch of me came alive at the sound of her voice.

Her soft, melodious voice was as filling as it was rejuvenating, scattering shivers down my spine.

I pressed my forehead against the door, breathing heavily. Every shred of the breath that rolled out of me reeked of satisfaction-the satisfaction of knowing that every part of me had fallen in place. My eyes drifted shut and I basked in the feeling of having her so close to me, even though I hadn't seen her yet.

And then, a wide, whipped shit-eating grin mounted on my face. It was giving whipped, finished and gone but I didn't care.

The angst I was feeling earlier disappeared faster than mist, replaced by a need to be close to her that burned like wildfire and that drove me to twist the door knob without hesitation.

The moment the creaked open and I eased into the room, slamming the door shut, my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach with disappointment when I was graced with the sight of an empty, spacious white-themed room.

My brows knitted in a frown, my eyes frantically glancing around the room in confusion as I greedily inhaled the smell of pines and orange blossoms that hung thickly in the air-undeniably a variant of one of the numerous air fresheners out there.

I knew she was in here. She was, after all, the one who ushered me in and I couldn't have begun to hear things that weren't there.

A door creaked open from behind me, solidifying what I had already known that I wasn't hallucinating and when I tucked my hands nervously into the pockets of my shorts, turning around, long brown legs that seemed to go on forever unravelled before me as they padded softly out of where I presumed to be the ensuite bathroom.

The greedy part of me that appeared to have dominated my logical reasoning yearned to take in more of the sight before me like it needed it to survive. My eyes glazed over her legs in a slow, intentional crawl, ascending her frame and I swear, I felt every bit of breath in me departing from lungs until they completely seeped away from me when our eyes met.

Her deep pools of chocolate orbs held me hostage and they were surprisingly very expressive-a far cry to what her eyes looked like on most days, the other day that she ran from me. It was easy to catch on to emotions swirling in them. Something along the lines of relief, apprehension and embarrassment.

Her full, glossed lips twitched slightly and the look in her eyes faltered for a second like she wanted to say something. Her mouth fell open but it snapped shut again and I watched her chew on her lips nervously.

And me?

I just stood there, embracing the silence between us, shamelessly revelling in the sense of completion that came with being around her again. I couldn't get enough of that feeling of satisfaction. The more I clung to it, the greedier I became.

It felt like I had been starved of the sight of her-her essence.

A twinge of frustration flashed in her eyes and she took it upon herself to close the distance between us. She sauntered towards me, her steps light, cautious and almost uncertain.

The sheeny strands of her fro were swept backwards in a low, neat bun, a few strands left out intentionally and curled to perfection at the front.

The vibrant orange knit two-piece that she donned suited the richness of her skin tone. The soft wool material snuggled against her skin in stylish shorts and top.

The cropped puffy sleeved top exposed her toned flat tummy, one of its sleeves falling off her shoulders, exposing a great deal of her delicate neck and a generous portion of the swell of her breasts. The matching pair of shorts stretched and moulded against her curves in a way that was nowhere near subtle.

It was a very comfy and adorable fit but there was an unmistakable air of sensuality it exuded. Something about it was far from innocent and the thought of it almost made my lips curve in an unconscious smirk.

"Is this the part where you say something or are you just going to stand there gawking at me?" she cleared her throat.

"Yes," the answer fell off my lips before I could stop myself.

"Yes to what part?" she took a step forward. "The part where you gawk at me?"

"Yes-I mean-no, like what I meant was-I-fuck," I had to take a deep breath. I could see the obvious knowing smirk struggling to tear through the corner of her perfectly glossed lips. "I meant, no. Not in that sense. Of course, I was going to say something." My eyes dragged up her frame again and my throat worked up and down harshly. "Eventually." I added the last part quietly even though I didn't believe that.

Left to me, I'd probably stand there and gape at her all morning.

"Hey," she said softly, fiddling with the hem of her sweater and conveniently avoiding my gaze as she shifted her weight on both foot occasionally.

"Hey, Reina." I murmured, the huskiness of my voice slipping through my words shamelessly.

An awkward silence passed between us and I hated it. Things were never awkward between me and Reina. It always seemed right and super comfortable.

"You uh..." She glanced at me, her eyes glazing over my figure with lack of subtlety. "You look well." She added.

I nodded, summoning the courage to take a step forward to her, leaving a few feet hanging between us. A breath of relief almost rolled out of me when she didn't recoil from sharing the same space with me.

"And you look amazing as always." I complimented her.

"Do you want to have your seat?" she jerked her thumb towards her Queen-sized bed. "What am I even saying? Of course you won't keep standing all day." She muttered under her breath, frustrated.

My lips quirked in amusement. It was a little petty but it was super relieving to know that the nervousness wasn't one-sided.

"Come on," she urged me towards her bed.

She plopped on the edge of mattress and I took my seat beside her, reluctantly leaving enough space between us when I'd rather sink myself in her skin if I wanted to heed to the itch burning within me. I caught a whiff of her hair butter and had to bite back the whipped smile that was threatening to slip.

"Do you want to go first or should I?" she asked quietly, her red polished nails picking at the back of her hands.

"Actually, I think I will." I didn't know where the boldness came from but I was very grateful for not succumbing to nervous part of myself that wanted to thread carefully.

She swallowed thickly, shifting uncomfortably in her seat but I didn't allow that to deter me.

"Reina, what happened?" I had to ask her. That question has haunted me a million times since our first kiss. I needed to know where I went wrong and what I did wrong. "You shut me out." I jabbed my index finger at my chest.

"Stefan...it's-it's not what you think." She stammered remorsefully.

"Please, don't cut me off." I demanded politely. "I need to be able to get everything off my chest and let you understand the kind of damage it has done to me these past few days."

"It was bad enough that you iced me out after I told you how I felt. You ran out of that studio without so much as a thought of how I'd feel. As if that wasn't enough, I couldn't reach you. Do you have any idea what that did to me?" I narrowed my eyes at her, disbelief evident in my voice.

"I nearly lost my mind," I said sharply. "I have never been apart from you for that long and...and not having you around was torture. I called. I texted. It took all of my restraints not to drive over to your place to ask you where I went wrong. But I didn't want to do that. I allowed myself to believe that you must have had a reason for doing that. I let myself believe that you'd reach out to me at your own time." The frustration in my voice dissolved, baring the hurt and pain hiding in there somewhere out in the open.

She was staring at me, her eyes holding so many responses but she willed her mouth shut because I was still talking. And I was grateful for that.

"You can't do things like that," I said firmly. "You can't shut me out as you wish and hide from me because you don't want to have a difficult conversation that'll determine the fate of our relationship. It doesn't work that way. This is just about you as much as it is about me whether you like it or not. It's so unfair and I don't deserve to be treated like that. Crazy about you or not." I kept my eyes pinned on her, enunciating every word so that it could sink in just how much she hurt me.

She adjusted in her seat, throwing her legs on the mattress to sit in a monk style. Then, she shifted closer to me, leaving a few inches hanging between us.

"I got scared and I freaked out," she began in a frail, tiny voice.

"I'd have much preferred it if you sent me a text that you weren't ready to talk. At least, it'd keep me at ease, knowing you have communicated with me." I interjected. I didn't mean to because she respected me enough to let me finish when I was speaking.

I sighed, rubbing my eyes. "I'm sorry." I apologised.

"I didn't know what to do or think. It was the first time I'd hear something that threw me off so hard. Believe it or not, I didn't see it coming." She explained, her voice tainted with remorse. "Stefan, I'd never hurt you on purpose. I was just lost. I didn't know how to navigate things. Besides, so much has happened since then." My brows knitted in confusion at her last words.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I-uh-I had this argument with my mom." She gave a bitter chuckle. "It was really bad. I wasn't taking her calls because in all honesty, I didn't want to speak to her. So, she stormed home from her trip and we fought about it. She just slumped out of nowhere." Her voice quivered, dripping with guilt.

"Is she okay?!" I inquired, alarmed.

"The doctor said her blood pressure was really high and she was suffering from extreme dehydration. That woman has been overworking herself and I genuinely do not know how to feel about that. But what I do know is that it just makes me angrier at her!" she screamed.

I was overwhelmed. I hated seeing her sad or having anything cause her pain but I was also grateful that she was sharing this information with me.

Shakira wasn't big on letting people in. She had a thing for being so guarded and her relationship with her mom was a very sour topic. I could tell the few times something about her came up.

Her mother was like a big, unhealed wound that she was hiding at at all costs.

I reached for her hand, squeezing it gently and massaging it with the pad of my thumb. "I'm so sorry, Reina. Is she okay now?"

"She is," she rolled her eyes and sniffed. "She's back on her feet and probably in Costa Rica as we speak." She hissed, a sour expression overtaking her features as she expressed her displeasure about that.

"I'm so sorry, Stefan. I didn't mean to hurt you." Her solemn gaze held mine hostage. And just like that, all my anger and frustration evaporated into thin air.

My lips slowly curved in a smile. "It's okay."

"Are you sure?" she bit her lower lip, holding back a smile.

"Yes," I grinned, bringing the back of her palm to my lips and kissing it softly.

She caught me unaware when she closed the distance between us and wrapped her arms around me for a hug. I stiffened against her slowly, fighting against the urge to enclose my arms around her frame and relish in what it felt like to have her in my arms again.

"Are you going to hug me back or what?" she teased me.

"Without a doubt," I murmured, gathering her in my embrace.

I couldn't help the satisfactory hum that exited my lips. Her soft, warm floral scent was so comforting. She smelled like a breath of fresh air and I took in every scent my nose could catch like I couldn't get enough of her. My insides churned with the excitement of being reaccustomed with what they wanted the most.

Her.

"Fuck, it feels so good to be able to hold you again." I had it bad for this woman and even my faux attempt to cling to my restraint was slipping through cracks of my rough, pleasure-ridden voice.

I couldn't stop touching her, couldn't stop breathing her in-not just because she was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on or she smelled like the most divine thing ever. It was because of the inner liberation surging through me like zaps of electricity. The feeling of not having to hold her because I was terrified of doing too much and crossing the uncharted territories of our friendship.

"Yeah?" her breathy whisper moved swiftly against my neck.

It teased my neck, searing a hot path down my neck.

Despite our proximity, it took me off-guard when her frame rustled against mine-her exhilarating floral scent seeping into my nostrils, giving me a heady rush that almost made me groan-and she slowly straddled me.

My breath quickened, my breathing coming out deep and uneven.

"What are you doing?" I had to ask her, willing my mind not to think about the thousand outcomes this could lead to right now.

But then, there was this tiny part of me that sought to explore what she was doing right now.

"I'm not doing anything." Her action contrasted her voice that came out low and sensual, almost teasing like she was trying to push my buttons.

Her deep dark brown eyes held mine hostage, gleaming with a sultry edge as she gazed at me beneath her lashes, grabbing onto my shoulders for support and slowly tucking her glossed bottom lip between her teeth, releasing it.

Fuck.

My eyes followed the movement that effortlessly made my blood burn hot.

She shifted on my lap so that she could sit right atop my crotch, moving with an intentionality to stir me up more than I already was.

I groaned, my grip tightening on her low waist.

Reina leaned in, pressing her forehead against mine and the breath that rolled out of me was shaky.

"Reina, please." I rasped.

I was begging her to let me hold onto the little sanity I had left.

"Please what?" her mouth parted against the skin of my face, the hot breath emitting from her tickling my skin, sprouting goosebumps everywhere they met.

"You know what I'm talking about." I forced the words out of my mouth.

She was actively pushing my buttons and claiming innocence that I could see right through.

"I don't know what you are talking about." She responded instantly, equally sounding as breathless, her fingernails digging into my shoulders like she was trying to hold it together. "I just want to touch you, Stefan." Her hands wandered on their own, squeezing my shoulders.

"God, I miss you." The desperation in her voice was so raw.

Those words undid me. They ruined me and seized control of me.

"Goddamnit." I cussed.

My lips hovered above hers, and every intent to hold back was completely crushed when I pressed my mouth against hers.

Disregarding the eagerness that was both trickling through our veins right now, Reina slowly opened up to me like she was equally trying to savour the sense of satisfaction that came with kissing me again.

I tugged at her bottom lips softly, slowly releasing it. "Fuck," I whispered against her lips.

I wanted more. I needed more. Damnit, I needed her.

Her breath wavered, dragging out with an edge of anticipation, the tension between us thickening and blurring away whatever doubts we might have had in the beginning.

The soft brush of our lips against each other wasn't enough. I knew it. She knew it.

I wanted to be a gentleman so badly but there was nothing gentlemanly about the things that I was thinking, the things I wanted to do her right now.

The world around us seemed to have sunk into oblivion, the air lingering in the space that had shrunk into the size of a matchbox crackling with a sexual energy that pulled at the strings of my sanity. The heat radiating off her body called out to mine, the constant shifting of her weight on my lap giving away the extent of how much she needed me.

I didn't think twice before taking her lips in again, drowning in the taste of her cherry lipgloss that exploded in my mouth. There was something intentional about the way we slowly explored each other's lips-it was like we were bidding our time for the inevitable. The hunger between us ticking off like a time bomb that was about to detonate.

And, it did.

She tasted like something straight out of my deepest fantasies and that drove me to the peak of madness because my hands wandered on her body with a burning urgency and I cupped her ass, pulling her into me like I needed the fusion of our bodies to be able to breathe properly.

She broke off the kiss, panting heavily and I shifted backwards hastily, dragging her frame down onto mine again. And when she settled on me, a deep-throated groan exited my lips. Her lips were back on mine like it never left as she cupped my face, tracing her manicured fingers along my jaw, the pace of the kiss still slow but the intensity deepening with every stroke of our lips against each other.

I couldn't get enough of her.

I was so hungry for her that everywhere my fingers-my hands met on her body seemed to fuel my desires further. My fingers skimmed up the length of her naked thighs that clung to my hip desperately, the touch teasing, reeking of an obvious intentionality and disregard for the hunger that hummed in my veins because I wanted to explore every inch of her body to my satisfaction, without holding back.

I swear, I had never heard a sound that turned me on that hard in a very long time because when my palms found her ass, cupping it with the intent to devour just like my lips where currently doing to her right now, she moaned. The soft, inciting sound struck me as something that was weaponised to destroy me.

A deep, rumbling sound of approval rippled from my chest and I wasn't subtle with the way I kneaded her. It extracted long, sensuous sounds from her. She sounded almost helpless, overwhelmed by the pleasure that equally consumed me. It appeared as if she didn't know how to handle was thrown at her all at once, her hands raking my body like she didn't know where to touch me.

I pulled away, dragging out a long, harsh breath against her lips. The one emotion in her eyes that was so prominent was need. Long gone were the eyes that stared at me earlier, full of embarrassment, angst and uncertainty. She wanted me to see how badly she needed me-wanted me. The dark shade her eyes had taken
made my breath hitch.

Her fingers gently caressed the skin of my face, her lips parting slightly in sheer pleasure that she completely basked in. Everywhere her fingers met awakened a renewed sense of hunger within me, husky sighs leaving my lips as my hold on her grew outrightly firm and possessive.

She took off the glasses on my face and I couldn't begin to explain how naked that made me feel. She didn't have to say anything for me to know. The unabashed look in her eyes was enough to tell me that she wanted to see me.

All of me.

"Take it off,"

My voice came out rough, thick with arousal, the command in it going unnoticed.

With those sultry brown eyes fixated on me like she was trying to make me watch her take away what was left of my self control-every ounce of a gentleman's trait within me, she grabbed the hem of my shirt, pulling it over my head. She tossed it somewhere in the room without looking away from me.

"Fuck," she grabbed onto my shoulders, her small, soft palms roaming every inch of my body, expressing utter sense of euphoria and genuine appreciation for what was in front of her right now, "you are perfect. It almost hurts to look at you." she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper, expressing a high level of shamelessness I had never seen her display before.

Those blood red polished nails traced the outline of my pectoral muscles, my eyes following every expression that crossed her face, and I completely lost it when she effortlessly bit her lower lip, pushing up her frame to grind against me.

"Damnit, Reina!"

She didn't just move against me. She moved against the tent that was poking through my joggers.

One of her palms glided up my chest slowly, her fingers skimming my sensitive skin like she had something in mind. She grabbed onto one of my shoulders with the other hand and leaned in, brushing her lips against my jaw.

I moaned-the deep, throaty sound falling off my lips before I could stop myself.

A breathy, erotic chuckle emitted from her, reeking from obvious satisfaction of watching me break and lose my shit beneath her. Her breath tickled the shell of my ear, her scent flooding my senses all at once, leaving my insides a wrecking, hormonal mess like that of a boy in his early teens who just got his first kiss from a girl he loves.

"You might want to grab onto me," she said in a low, suggestive tone, her breathy voice a teasing whisper against my skin.

I was a little slow to grasp what she meant . Not when I was at her mercy. Not when I was actively losing my mind right now.

She moved again. This time, in a slow, sensual movement that had me tossing my head back and grabbing onto her ass shamelessly as she grinded against my erection like a pro.

"Fuck!"

She teased my naked chest with her nails, every touch thorough, her other hand latched onto my shoulder like she was trying to keep me in place while she showered kisses on my lower face, nipping against my cheek.

"You like that?"

"Damnit, I love it." I growled, kneading her bum with my hands.

I didn't think being grinded on could feel this good. I didn't think it could turn me into this wreck, this horny little thing that every breath and every sound she made against my skin made me feel like I was about to convulse because of how overwhelming it was to have her please me right now.

I had seen her waist work before and I knew without a doubt that I wanted her to do it against me someday just like she did at Allan's pool party but I didn't think that day was going to come sooner.

My hold against her ass firm and unabashed, guiding her movement against me while she rocked me to cloud nine and liquefied what was left of my senses. She took her time, grinding against me like her aim was to seduce and destroy me, the way her lips moved against my face, my jaw, and my neck falling in a sinful rhythm with the movement of her body atop mine.

I was swept up in a cloud of pleasure, my vision hazy, feeling so lightheaded and making sounds I didn't even think I was capable of making until now.

Her mouth was everywhere. Her hands were everywhere. Claiming me. Marking me. Ruining me.

My palm rode up her ass, travelling up her back and carving up her neck as I fisted a handful of her sheeny fro when she sucked on my neck, grinding me harder, moving up and down on me, moaning into my neck while she pleased me.

It was a sweet torture-one I had never felt before.

She handled me and teased me to the point of madness, whispering sweet little nothings into my ears as she rocked and rode me to oblivion. It was hard forming a coherent speech amidst the husky groans and erotic sounds I was making.

I was a mess. A horny, writhing mess. Shakira made sure of it.

I was already so sexually worked up but my entire body caught fire when her lips came back on mine-this time, demanding and consuming like it was trying to awaken some kind of beast within me. My touch against her body turned greedy, predatory even. I grabbed onto her, tugging her forward against me sharply and she jerked, releasing a loud moan against my mouth.

The soft sexy sounds she made against my lips was nothing like I had ever heard before, dripping with sheer eroticism. I nibbled on her lower lip, slipping my tongue into her mouth, demanding entrance because the sounds she made, the way her hands roamed my body with urgency like she couldn't get enough of me, wasn't enough.

Nothing was enough when it came to Reina. I was like a madman on the loose, wanting to take as much as I could get because I was fucking high on her.

I was obsessed with her.

Hardcore obsessed with every inch of her.

It was both maddening and exhilarating at the same time. I didn't understand how someone could consume me so much and still make me feel so alive.

I sank my fingers into her hair, releasing a husky growl when I angled her head to the side to kiss her deeper, to devour her lips the way I wanted to without holding back.

The pace of the kiss rose up a notch, the strokes of our lips against each other outrightly obsessive, and intense. As one of my hands cupped her ass, fisting it to extract those fucking sexy sounds from her, the other one disappeared beneath her top, crawling up higher to get a feel of her.

And fuck if she wasn't so hard, ready and needy for me.

She was so soft, so full and perky.

So beautiful.

I cupped her gently, breaking off the kiss with a guttural grunt that expressed my satisfaction at how good she felt.

"Stefan," she shuddered, grabbing onto my shoulders with parted lips.

"Hm?" I murmured huskily, teasing her.

I couldn't help the satisfactory smirk that came crawling up my face, watching the euphoric expression that mounted on her face, a long, loud reckless moan unfurling from her mouth.

I buried my face into her chest, my fingers trailing up her thigh. "Fuck, you feel so good, so soft, so perfect." I cussed.

My lips found her neck in no time, my tongue darting out to tease the delicate sensitive flesh before I nipped it at it softly, running the pad of my thumb against her teasingly and giving her a soft, sensual tug.

A breathy moan rolled out of her, her fingers running up the length of my back, digging into it before her palm reached for the back of my head, cupping it and running her fingers through my hardly tamed bushy hair.

"Oh, my God." She gasped.

"Yeah?" I sucked on her neck harder.

"Fuck."

It couldn't have been more pleasing, knowing that I had shuffled the cards and I was the one pulling the strings now. Her sounds, the smell of her, the feel of her-so fucking intoxicating.

I caught on to her whimper of protest when I slipped my hands off her, grabbing onto both her thigh in a firm grip and flipping us over so that she was under me now.

I kissed her again. Harder this time, securing her legs around me while I moved against her, her moans against my mouth growing borderline desperate and needy, her body arching into mine, aching for more, more that I had to offer, more that I could give her.

She couldn't get enough and my masculine, dominant side found that so appealing-so sexy.

I broke off the kiss, panting her and breathing harshly against her swollen lips.

"You," I kissed her. "Are," again. "the," again. "most," again. "beautiful," again. "thing," again. "I have ever seen."

I sounded so done for, so finished, like I was a fucking mess without her. And, I was.

I kissed her lips, her cheeks, her neck-everywhere my mouth could find. She was the perfect addiction, one I didn't know how badly I needed until she pulled away from me and all that was left was a man with no bearing.

She was my anchor. She was my compass.

My mouth travelled downwards, hovering above her clothed skin, my hot breath teasing her as she arched into me for more. My hands that were wrapped around her found hers, crawling up against it to secure them in a firm grip against the mattress, our intertwined hands fisting the sheets beneath us.

I latched my mouth onto her through her top, nipping softly at her.

Her body jerked beneath mine, her helpless moans echoing through the room. I sucked on her through the fabric of her top as she writhed beneath me, her hands trapped, unable to grab onto me and all she did was moan underneath me just like I wanted.

"Fuck, Stefan!" she cussed.

"You love that, yeah?" I murmured against her, unable to hide the cocky smirk tugging at the corners of my lips.

"Yes," she whimpered.

I stopped, hovering above her, then I inched upward so that I could meet her gaze. All I could see was a mix of want, lust and frustration engraved in those deep pools of chocolate brown. She needed me to a point of ache. She wanted me. All of me. I couldn't help but wonder how I had missed this the whole time.

How badly she was into me.

I didn't know how I could have been so blind to the point of delusions.

She cupped my face and slowly kissed me, then broke it off, her chest heaving harshly, her eyes locked on me like she was trying to tell me that she wasn't about to hide from me, to run from me.

"Do you have a condom?"

~

My hands stilled around her thigh, my breath hanging harshly in my lungs.

Reina's brown eyes bored into mine like she was expecting an answer to her question. The deep brown pools were still glinting with a mix of lust and want, her now-barely glossed lips parted in anticipation.

"What?"

"Do you have a condom?" she repeated her question like I didn't hear her ask me the first time.

I blanched, my mind going blank for what seemed like eternity.

No, I wasn't dazed because I didn't have protection on me. Heck, it wasn't like I walked around carrying one-I haven't even been sexually active in a while. Prancing around with protection was more Abasi and Jeremy's thing. Not mine.

I was gobsmacked because I hadn't seen this coming. I didn't even think she could ask me something like that. Reina wasn't just some random girl for hook-ups to me. She meant so much more to me. Fuck, she meant a lot more to me. What we had was different-I had never felt anything quite like that-but I wanted us to take our time because we had all the time in the world.

I wasn't going to act like a saint. I wasn't going to pretend that I didn't want her that way, because I do, so much that it freaking hurt.

But I wasn't about to let list cloud my judgement, because in truth, she was worth the wait.

"Stefan?" she whispered, her hands effortlessly slipping out of the possessive grip I had them secured in. Her dainty fingers reached for my cheek but her touch felt oddly icy like some turn off.

That was all it took for me to snap out of my daze. My hands detached from her body, almost like they were lifeless. I rolled off her, sighting my shirt on the floor next to the bed.

I shrugged it on quickly.

I felt like an horror story survivor because of how stiff my body seemed, shock almost paralyzing me to a spot. But, I snapped out of it. My eyes strayed towards her confused ones. My gaze grew desperate, intent on catching anything in her expression that'd convince me that she was probably too caught up in our heated moment and that's why she asked me that.

Much to my dismay, there was none.

"Why do you look like you just saw a ghost?" she asked me, a soft smile slowly stretching across her lips as she thread her fingers through her puffy fro gathered at the back of her head.

I didn't know what was more horrifying. Her nonchalant demeanour when she literally just requested for a condom out of the blue or the fact that she was willing to have sex with me in her bedroom few seconds ago, knowing that her Nana was right downstairs.

Anyone could have walked in on us.

"Now, you are really starting to freak me out." She rolled her eyes, adjusting her top.

I blinked multiple times, hoping this was some kind of joke and she'd soon scream, "gotcha" in my face, in a matter of seconds.

"Wait," I didn't know when a chuckle slipped from my lips, the lack of humour in it overly glaring. "Wait, wait, hold on." I was beginning to stammer now, my heartbeat picking up a horrific pace as I stared at her, hoping that it wasn't what I dreaded it was.

Reina wouldn't text me to come over just to seduce me into sleeping with her, right?

Looks like your girl did just that. The little voice in my head snickered.

"Was this the reason you asked me to come?" I asked her, my voice barely audible but she heard me.

She stared at me, then tilted her head to the side like she was fascinated by me or my question. Maybe both because I wasn't even sure at this point.

"Well..." She trailed off. "When you put it like that, maybe it is. I wasn't lying when I said I missed you." Her gaze was soft, almost sultry but that wasn't what got a reaction out of me.

It was because her voice lacked remorse. It didn't even seem like she cared.

"But what if it was?" the softness of her voice paled in comparison to the way that question knocked my breath out of me.

Her eyes seemed to have lost the fascination from earlier, burning with a challenge that rattled me.

"Is that what you think this is?" my index finger ventured back and forth between us, my eyes narrowed on her like she was an alien that just dropped from the sky.

"Well, I don't know what this is." She answered me without blinking. I didn't need a soothsayer to know that she was talking about what we had-what this was.

Was she really going to play this game right now?

"But what I do know is," she picked up a pillow and threw it on her lap, "you don't have to tell me you love me because you want to fuck me."

Her words struck me in the face like a whiplash, stalling my breath for a moment.

For a second that seemed to stretch on for eternity, Reina's words hung in the air, igniting a tension that engulfed the room in a chokehold. My eyes widened, my mouth falling open and close at intervals like a gaping fish in the water.

I couldn't digest her words. It hung in my throat like a stubborn fish bone that wouldn't come out and thrust its way downwards into my insides no matter how hard I tried. It snuffed out the air in my lungs, a throbbing sensation barging into my temples out of nowhere.

I couldn't, for the life of me, wrap my head around the fact that she just outrightly questioned my intentions for her, my feelings for her, what I felt for her. I couldn't comprehend why in the world she thought I laid out my feelings, hated my soul to her because I wanted to sleep with her.

"So, you think I told you I love you because I want to sleep with you?" I was surprised at how calm my voice came out, followed by a questioning arch of one of my brows.

Her stare fleetingly grew vacant as she shrugged nonchalantly.

I scoffed. "Is that what you think you mean to me? An object of pleasure that I can use to blow off steam when I'm horny and discard when I'm bored?" my voice came out harsh and demanding.

"So, you don't want me?" she frowned.

My disbelief thickened, growing with an edge. My lips parted with the intention of saying something but nothing came out no matter how hard I tried.

I wanted to make sense of the way her mind was working right now, her thought process, but I couldn't decipher it. It led me to wondering if I was a joke to her. Was I not clear about how much I wanted her? Was I not obvious about how I fucking needed her? Could she really not see how she makes staying in control so goddamn hard?

Fuck, if she knew how hard it was for me stay on guard and not allow my mind to wander off to very dangerous places and fantasize about the way I wanted her.

Damnit, what I felt for her terrified me but it equally made me feel so alive.

How could she be blind to this?

I stalked forward from my spot. "You think I don't want you?" I was stunned because that had to be the most unreasonable thing I had heard from her.

"Well, you have a funny way of showing it." Her voice was firm, her tone sharp and thick with sarcasm.

"What do you think this means?" I couldn't stop myself. I jerked my hand in the direction of the tent poking my pants. Her eyes drifted to it for a moment and she looked away with burning cheeks.

I wasn't done. "Do you have the faintest idea how hard this is for me? Do you know how hard it is to struggle with my restraint when I'm around you?" I asked her. "No, I'll answer that for you. You don't. You have no idea how much control you have over me. Not even by a mile." I retorted, my gaze pinned on her, hard and unwavering.

A tense silence hung between us, charging the air with an impending sense of ruin. Maybe it was a gut feeling or an instinct but I knew that one of was bound to walk out of here and not remain the same again.

This wasn't how I envisioned this conversation. But right now, it looked like we are both treading the path of destruction and neither of us was ready to stop.

I sighed, ignoring the ache building up in my chest. "It's you, Reina. It's always been you. I love you." My profession slipped into the air in a pained whisper.

"CAN YOU STOP SAYING THAT?!"

Her voice travelled through the room, the resonance thick, cutting and edgy.

It punched a hole through my chest.

I didn't like this girl in front of me. The tremble in her lips was almost unnoticeable. Her eyes were ablaze with horror. It was flat out unhinged.

It was as if she was walking on thin ice, on eggshells, on the brink of snapping.

"Can everyone stop saying that? Can you just stop? Christ!" she raised her voice, rising to her feet promptly.

"But, it's the truth." I retorted, walking towards her.

She backed away from me sharply, frightened. "No, it's not!" she clapped back.

"You are only saying that because of what you see on the outside. I won't stand by and allow you to ruin yourself because of this silly infatuation you have with me. I won't watch you venture down the path of destruction because that's what friends do!"

"GODDAMNIT, SHAKIRA, I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND!" I fired, my eyes burning with unshed tears.

Frustration grabbed me in the guts, my lungs growing thin and void of air because heaven knows I have had enough of that word. Friend. I have heard it to a point where it was beginning to haunt me in my sleep and pish me to the brink of insanity.

I thought I was okay with being in her life as her friend, loving her so close, yet from afar. I thought I was okay with that, but it turned out that I wasn't.

I wanted more. I needed more.

And to be honest, I have always wanted more. I just willed myself to pretend that everything was fine and having her in my life as my friend was enough. So, I settled for hanging onto the scraps of her attention that she had to offer.

No more. Not anymore because there was no way in hell I was putting up with this anymore.

Not after everything.

Not after the kiss.

"That's a lie and you know it." I insisted, glaring at her. "I don't want to be your friend because friends don't look at each other the way we do, friends don't touch each other the way we do and they sure as hell don't kiss each other breathless the way we do!" my voice rises higher, raw with emotions.

She stared at me with a haunting expression that destroyed me as quickly as acid did to skin whenever it settled on it.

I drew in a breath that only made my lungs burn like they had hot coal stuffed in them.

"What are you so afraid of?" I had to ask her because I thought it to be the only logical explanation she could have for wanting to deny our connection to the ends of the earth.

"I'm not afraid of anything." She responded just as swiftly like she couldn't be caught dead thinking of it, her breath quickening.

"Yes, you are." I maintained, stubbornly taking slow strides towards her, bridging the gap she desperately wanted to create between us. "If you weren't, you wouldn't be actively trying to shut me out." I said through clenched teeth, struggling to rein in my tears.

Her deep, dark brown eyes displayed nothing but a frustration that she wanted to let out so badly. Then, an expression crossed her face like she had been backed up against the wall and has no where to turn to.

She looked at me like she wanted to declare the nuclear option and it ignited an ominous feeling within me.

"I slept with Ola."

Ehn?

An alarm went off in my head and I halted in my tracks. For a moment, everything around me appeared distant-the sounds, even my surroundings, they all seemed distorted, appearing like a blur.

A mix of confusion, angst and apprehension, swept through me like tidal waves.

My legs moved backwards on their accord, their steps light and wavering.

A gleam of triumph flamed up her brown eyes like she had gotten her desire. It was like she was stepping on a fresh wound, ramming her toe against it, desperate to press on it so hard until she completely crushed me into her desired bits.

I didn't know what hurt more. Her weaponised attempt to break me or knowing she was just getting started and levelling the playing ground.

Then, her expression closed up tightly like a surface that was carved out of granite. I could feel the ruin looming in the air. It was like ice on my skin. I could taste it. It was a gustatory mess of everything acidic and poisonous. I could breathe it in. It was toxic and prickled my airway with a needle-like sensation.

Reina stared at me, her gaze dead and stoic like a woman on a mission, only the mission was to gut me out until I was completely hollow.

Dread washed over me instantly.

"That night that I left you guys at the dinner party," she began, her voice soft. "I slept with him. I was drunk. I needed an escape and he was available. So yes, I fucked him." She cocked her head to the side, a smile so icy, designed to cut tilting at the corners of her lips.

She approached me herself, basking in the upper hand she now had, stopping short a few feet away from me.

"Now, look at me and tell me that you still love me, that you still love a whore, I fucking dare you, Stefan. Say it. Look at me and say it!" she yelled at me, her voice shaky.

My thoughts started spiralling and it didn't take long until the realisation hit hard.

I dragged out a breath so painful that it made me want to clutch my chest. "The-the guy who picked you up at school the other day?"

"Yes, he's Khalil's best friend." She answered defiantly. "So, so you still want me? Well, here you go. Have at it. I'm all yours. Come on." She nudged me forward with her head, scoffing out a humourless laugh.

I bit down on my lip, the pressure hard enough to draw blood. But, I didn't care.

I had seen this before. It was a pattern. She did the other day in the bathroom after I wrenched her out from that fight between her and Demilade.

Reina was self sabotaging to push me away.

"Do you know what I see?" I whispered.

"What?" she dared to ask me.

"Your incessant attempt to sabotage your happiness, to make me hate you and push you away. That's exactly what I'm seeing." I knew that was what she was doing but I didn't understand why.

I scoffed, a tear trickling down my cheek. "If you think a fling that happened way before we got this close is going to make me despise you, then I hate to put it to you again that it has done nothing. I told you, you are going to have to try a lot harder than this to push me away. Even when you do, I'll still find a way to stick around. I'm not going anywhere, so deal with it," I said unapologetically.

Fury flashed in her eyes, darkening them. "What the fuck is your problem?" she marched towards me, closing the distance between us, and promptly jabbing her index finger at my chest.

Her attempt to shove me backwards did nothing to hurt because she couldn't destroy me more than she already has. Instead, I reached for her hand.

"Don't touch me!" she snapped, recoiling from my touch.

My stubbornness got the better of me because I seized her wrist in a firm grip, my eyes fixed on hers, pleading.

"Reina, tell me you don't feel this." I whispered, my voice trembling as fresh tears builded up in my eyes. I guided her palm right atop my raging heart, placing it on it. I wanted her to feel it, to know that it was always hers. It always has been since the very day she walked into our classroom.

"Baby, tell me I'm crazy. Tell I'm the only one who's feeling this thing between us, tell me I'm delusional, tell me that there's nothing here and that I'm the only crazy one who's reading meaning into every breath, every gaze, every kiss, every touch-into everything."

She wavered hard. I was certain that I saw it.

That vulnerable flash in her eyes. It was all it took for me to cling to the tiny shred of hope sprouting within me.

But then, a grim expression clouded her facial expression.

She withdrew her hand harshly from mine, stepping backwards rapidly. "I don't feel it."

She didn't bat an eyelid even as those words punctured right through me. It heightened the burning sensation gathering in my chest, shrinking my heart.

"A friend," she continued. "That's all I see you as and that's all you'll ever be to me."

Her declaration crushed my insides. I knew she was lying. She knew she was lying. We both knew, but it didn't make it hurt any less. What was tearing me to shreds was how she looked like she wasn't ready to stop until she tore me to pieces.

She wanted to hurt me and she wasn't remorseful about it.

Even with the scorching ache in my chest that was actively snuffing out the breath in my lungs, I wasn't ready to back down.

"Baby," I breathed, "everything-everything I have ever needed. All I need is here right now, right in front of me..." I trailed off, my voice hoarse and cracking, loaded with desperation that hardened her frown.

"Stefan, snap out of it!" she screamed. "We are just teenagers. What could you possibly know about love? No, I'll rephrase that. What could we possibly know about love?" she fired the question at me, her teary eyes narrowed at me in slits, thick with disgust and frustration.

It made my chest tighten even more. "I know enough to know that nothing makes sense without you!" I exclaimed, my voice quivering. "I know enough to know you complete me and I certainly know enough to know that it all feels right with you!"

I didn't know what was killing me more. The way she had completely written me off, hard enough to undermine what I felt for her or that I couldn't recognise the girl standing before me.

This version of her was ruthless. I had seen different shades of her but this was gutwrenchingly different.

"Oh, yeah?" she scoffed. "Confusing butterflies and lust as love? Oh, I have never been more amused. Best in being delusional." Her tone was edgy and scathing, intended to hurt me-and it fucking did.

"Why are you being so pessimistic?" I whispered, my voice strained and heavy with exhaustion.

"This is not me being pessimistic!" she refuted. "This is me being real with you that nothing good will come out of this. The only way this is going to end is you getting scarred!"

"I'm trying to protect you-"

"I DON'T NEED YOUR PROTECTION, REINA." I shot at her, my tone sharp and harsh. "What are you protecting me from? You are not protecting me from anything. You are just running. You are running away from me, from us, and everything we have. And God, you have no idea how much it's destroying me right now." My voice quivered.

"I don't care." She deadpanned.

My chest cracked wide open, dizziness engulfing me all at once.

Her stare, icy and unwavering, told me everything I needed to know. She meant everything she said. Every. Single. Word. And she needed me to know it.

A wave of exhaustion crashed through me, sagging my shoulders in defeat.

"So, that's it, huh?" I asked, my voice holding little to no life in it.

"That kiss was a mistake. It never should have happened. I don't know what you are expecting me to tell you but I'm not going to lead you on. I don't feel the same way about you, Stefan. I don't love you. Not once. I never have and I never will." Her gaze hardened, the coldness of her words slicing through me so hard they made me bleed.

My words died at the tip of my tongue because no matter how hard I tried to come up with something, the indifferent look on her face was killing me and tearing me apart from the inside.

"I want you to leave." Her voice, although soft and airy, knocked my breath out of me. "Now," she added firmly, looking away from me.

The air in the room grew so suffocating and borderline toxic. I desperately needed an escape. I couldn't bear looking at her or being in the same space with her anymore.

So, I took her word for it, dragging myself out of her sight.

It was undeniably foolish of me, but a part of me clung on to the hope that she'd tell me to stop, and tell me that she didn't mean everything she said, that she'd grab onto my arm and bury her face into my chest, begging me to never let her go or walk away from me.

She never did.

And that deflated every ounce of hope I had. It squashed it into dust.

She didn't bat an eyelid. She didn't even acknowledge my existence as I trudged past her like a zombie.

My lungs burned so badly, tears brimming in my eyes as I exited her room.

A gaping void enveloped me the moment I shut the door behind me. My back hit the door, shaky, shredded breaths eliciting me. I clutched my chest hard, my legs nearly giving me away. I wanted to dig my fingers into my chest and carve my heart out of me because I didn't want to feel anything anymore.

I craved emptiness. That was how much it fucking hurt.

The pain was crippling, consuming and more agonizing than anything I had ever felt. The world around me felt like it was spinning and sinking into oblivion.

I didn't know how I got out of that house because it felt like I was rapidly losing time, losing touch with my surroundings.

Everything around me blurred into nothingness when I got into my car, clouded by a sea of my impending tears.

I grabbed onto the steering wheel tightly, my fingernails digging harshly into the leather covering. I wanted to use it as anchor, to regulate my erratic breathing, because it got so fucking hard to breathe. My breath trembled violently, my lips quivering incessantly. My eyelids grew so heavy and they snapped shut on their own.

And then, the emotions I was trying to shut out, to run from, came back to haunt me.

They let loose. All at once.

A sob was punched out of me harshly, accompanied by a gutwrenching scream, my pain tearing through me, ruining me, tears streaming down my face and blurring my entire vision.

Until I could no longer see.

Until I could no longer breathe.

Right there in my car, consumed by my emotions all rolled into one agonising torment-I shattered into a million pieces.

One moment, they couldn't keep their hands off each other, and the next, everything is rolling up into one complicated mess. The thing is, we have always known that it was going to come to this-okay, maybe I have always known.😂 E dey sweet me, chai.😂

But the worst part is that it's far from over. We have gotten to that part where this mess is going to burn everything and everyone into the ground.

Do you really think Shakira did the right thing by ruining what they had?

What do you guys think fate holds in the cards for them now?

I'll take your comments in the comments section where I'm always waiting.

I'm already working on the next update and I'm hoping to wrap it up before resumption. Do not forget to vote, comment and share.

Love, Didi.❤️

Adiós.✨