Please read the note at the end of the chapter! Thank you so much!!

NATASHA ROMANOFF

"I think I, I think I finally
Found a way to forgive myself
From mistakes I made in my past
I think that's the first step, right?
You agree?"

~1999, Russia.~

NATASHA'S FOOTSTEPS ECHOED through the silence of the hallway as she approached her destination. The dreaded place of Dreykov's office. Before she knocked on the wooden door, she took a deep breath and exhaled, the air pushing her bangs into the air for a few seconds. Natasha put on her expressionless façade and as soon as she heard the "Come!", she opened the door and walked in.

What awaited her there surprised the teenager to no end but she refused to let it show. Her green eyes fixated on Dreykov and him only. He had a small child, approximately around nine or ten years old sitting in front of him on a chair.

Natasha didn't speak. She knew the rules. Everyone who survived the first day of being there knew the rules. Don't talk unless you're being spoken to. Don't ask questions. Don't show emotions. Don't have empathy. Be respectful. Don't try to escape. Don't try to be sassy or rude. Don't be anything less than perfect. Don't touch anything you're not allowed to. Don't go anywhere alone if you're not old enough. Don't be late. Don't slouch. Don't talk during meals. Don't make friends. Don't even form any attachments. Don't think about your past. Don't take out the tracking device.

...And many more. Just an endless set of rules, made only to control them even more. Because they were nothing. Not people, not even pets. They were pawns in a chess match, they didn't have any free will and most of them didn't even mind. They had accepted the fact that they were weapons with no other purpose but to destroy and kill for The Red Room. They were discardable, disposable. Weapons with no faces, no personalities, no opinions, no choices, no voices, no dreams, no life, no place in the world.

"Ah, you've arrived! Perfect. So, let's begin, shall we?" Dreykov asked, but they both knew it wasn't a question in need of an answer. "This... Is Nea." He pointed to the blonde girl in front of him.

Natasha now had the silent permission to glance at the child. She looked small, way smaller than what her height should've been like. She had her long hair braided into two braids and had the ends tied together. 'Nea' had the training suit on, and judging by the small beads of sweat rolling down her forehead, she was in the middle of a sparring session. Or she was already done with it. Either way, if she survived this long, Natasha knew better than to look at Nea's childish face and believe there was even a single ounce of innocence and purity left. She knew that the girl already had blood on her hands.

"She's been in the program since she was three," Dreykov continued. "So for six years she's been training and everyone was impressed with just how much of a natural she is, how much fire there is in her and how brutal she is while sparring. And just to praise this golden child for a while more, she has learned three languages to the absolute maximum, she's fluent in Finnish, English and Russian. And she can read with no accent apparent whatsoever!"

Natasha continued staring at the child. The girl's blue eyes were dull and lifeless, it was missing all essential feelings or thoughts. It was like she had just accepted that she was nothing else but a robot, the assassin they're training her to be. Something about the way her blonde hair was braided so neatly, how despite clearly coming from a sparring session, she wasn't gasping for air, how she didn't have a single cut or flaw on her face, how the suit looked on her young body, how she just stared ahead, not even looking at the General tugged at her heartstrings and if she wasn't being watched, observed and analyzed every single second of her life, she would've run over to the girl and hug her, and perhaps even help her escape.

She, of course, showed none of that on her face. After all, she needed to be perfect. And if the only way out through playing along and eventually reaching the day of the graduation ceremony, then so fucking be it.

It's not like her body was hers anyway.

"From now on, you're going to train her." Dreykov's raspy voice cut through the tension in the office and Natasha looked at him once again. "Understand?" She nodded silently and snuck another glance at the young girl sitting so neatly in that damn chair... "You will be supervised, although, of course. But don't pay the guards any mind... or the cameras. Train the girl to be perfect. Show her what it means to be a true Black Widow."

Natasha nodded obediently, dismissing any and all feelings in her telling her this wasn't a good idea. She could see Nea zoning out in the middle of the General's speech and it seems like she only picked up one or two words from the entire conversation. What the hell did they do to her?

Dreykov nodded in response. "It will start tomorrow. You have no missions in the waiting, yes?"

"No, General. None at the moment." Natasha despised how unfamiliar her own voice sounded.

"Wonderful. So you can take her under your wing and shape her into being perfect like you! Or, at least... nearly perfect."

Natasha bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from lunging at the man in front of her and punching his front two teeth out. She always found him infuriating and like torture to be around.

"Dismissed." The General exclaimed, waving his hand as a way of telling them both to get out of his office. The young girl, previously sitting in front of him stood up so fast, Natasha was worried she might pass out due to low iron levels. Then they both left in a hurry, presumably not wanting to spend one more second in that place that was necessary.

As soon as the doors closed behind them, Natasha turned towards Nea. "Training will start exactly fifteen minutes after breakfast."

"Okay." Nea nodded and walked down the hallway so quickly, the redhead almost got dizzy from watching it.

This was going to be a looong few months...

_____________________

~2000, Russia.~

        Natasha furrowed her eyebrows and stood up from the mat. She hadn't lost a sparring session since she was 6. There's no way, absolutely none that this little girl in front of her had just managed to knock her down.

Still, Natasha stood up and shook the girl's hand. "Congratulations, not many people have managed to actually swipe me off my feet." Nea shook her hand and nodded.

"I know," Was all she said back. The redhead had grown accustomed to the few words the blonde in front of her spoke. Not like it ever bothered her.

As the pair was walking out of training, Natasha suddenly grabbed Nea and pulled her into a hallway that looked abandoned and never had cameras in. The blonde girl let out a surprised yelp but Nat quickly covered her mouth.

"Shh! Just let me talk to you!" She slowly removed her hand after the girl in front of her nodded. "Okay... So, I know you don't want to be here, so I'm going to help you. But you'll have to help me too, okay?"

   Nea looked at her like she was absolutely crazy, out of her mind, just outrageously idiotic. "What?"

   "I can help you-" Natasha started explaining but the blonde cut her off.

   "Yeah, I know you can! That's your whole mission, you imbecile! That is what you've been doing for the past... what, six months?"

   "No, you misunderstood, I-"

   "Save it," Nea snapped. "I don't want to hear your stupid plans, I don't know what you mean by me not wanting to be here or where you got that idiocy from, but I don't care either! Do your fucking job and train me! That's what you're supposed to do, that's why you're here, okay?! We are not friends, we never were, I don't care about you! You're just. My. Trainer!!!"

   For a second, they were both quiet. Nea was panting and red with fury, while Natasha just stood there completely dumbfounded. Then, the redhead asked her a question that seemed to catch the child off guard.

   "When's your birthday?"

   A pause, then... "What?" Natasha repeated the question, hoping for an actual answer this time and not another round of yelling and curse words. "Uh- Uhm... Why do you want to know?"

   "Just answer the question. Please."

   "July 7th, 1990."

   "I bet no one asked that question here before, have they?" Natasha didn't even wait for an answer. "You can lie to everyone else and yourself and maybe even manage to fool all of them, including your own mind, but I know that deep down, secretly, you hate being here. You hate being a pawn in their game, you hate being told what to do and do the things you know are wrong. I know you hate Dreykov and all the others, I know you're trying to be the best so they'll leave you alone and one day maybe you can get out of this place. I know you hate making mistakes and I know you loathe this hellhole, you long for a real family, friends and a life that doesn't consist of lies, killing, spying and fighting 24/7. I know you want your body to be yours. Not theirs. I know that as soon as you turned nine, you also had seduction classes. I know you're disgusted by them and hate to think of a possibility of a mission ever needing them." Nat could see Nea's pink lips slowly started to part, and by the time she was finished, the young girl was full on gaping, not even bothering to try and hide the surprise she felt. "But believe me, it's way more common that you need to... do things you don't want for the sake of the mission. It's a disgusting world we're living in, but I know you're not rotten. At least not entirely. You still have a soul, even if you try to hide it and act like you don't, you still have your feelings and moral conscience. And that's not a weakness."

   "I- I... How-?"

   "How do I know all of this? Nea, I used to be just like you... Hell, I still am! But I know, I just feel that we weren't made for this, we were made for something better, something... extraordinary." Natasha paused, silently debating just how much she actually wants to share with Nea, but then decided that this is the only tactic that has worked so far. Gaining sympathy. "Listen to me, you weren't born to be a spy, an assassin. There's so much more to you than the necessary traits for this. You're so clever and I bet you're actually adorable under that cold, ruthless façade of yours. Ah-ah! Don't interrupt me, don't even try to argue. I know it!"

   "Whatever..."

   "No, Nea! It's not 'whatever', it's 'Thank you, Natasha for opening my eyes!"

   "Natasha? That's not your name." The blonde furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and Nat could see the small cloud of amusement building up behind the cold blue eyes.

   Nat hesitated, before nodding, "...I chose it. For myself. It's the English version of Natalia. I like it more, it's the first choice that was mine to make."

The blonde haired girl was quiet, but Nat could see that she was liking the sound of that. "Aha!! I can see you're intrigued."

"What? No! It's stupid." Nea shook her head. The redhead smirked and looked at her with a look that said 'really?'. Then busted out laughing. "It is!!"

   "You and I both know it's cool, маленький."

   At that, Nea gasped and pushed Natasha back. "Hey! I'm not little!"

   "Oh, you so are!" Natasha laughed and hugged her small frame. She could feel the kid tensing up for a few seconds at the unexpectedness of the hug, but slowly realized it wasn't harmful or to mean any kind of malice so she relaxed against her embrace. She slowly but surely raised her arms and hugged Nat back.

   "I hate you..." The girl mumbled into Nat's chest. Natasha chuckled, knowing there was no actual bite behind the girl's words, she was just extremely stubborn.

____________________

~2003, Russia.~

        "Natasha!! Natasha!!" The redhead turned around and looked at the blonde teenager behind her. Her face instantly lit up as she realized it was Nea who yelled after her. She immediately slowed down her pace and let the teen run next to her. Natasha loved how the younger girl said her name. Even though she could probably pronounce it flawlessly, she still decided to take a pause after the "Na" and drag out the "sh" sound. It made Nat proud and happy that Nea still had her original Finnish accent, that was more apparent in some words than in others. She loved how Nea still said the letter "a" as "ah". It was so adorable.

   "Happy birthday, ребенок! How are you enjoying your first official day as a teenager?"

Nea glared at her, "It's the same."

Natasha let out a genuine laugh. Of course. Everyday was the same there.

"And? How is it being an adult?" At that, Nat's laughter died down and her smile faded away. Right. The dreaded 18 years of age, when the graduation ceremony takes place. Natasha knew it since she turned 15 that when she were to be 18, they would sterilize her and put her through the most intense training she ever had since she was forced into the program. But what she also knew was that Nea didn't know about that yet and she didn't want to be the one to tell her that. She didn't know if Nea ever wanted to have children, but she thought it would be for the better if she never asked. She was just saving herself from another crack on her already broken heart.

Of course, Nea thought it was her fault that Nat stopped smiling and her cheery demeanor faded, because she started rambling. A nervous habit of hers. "Wait... Well, I know that it's been a few months, seven, to be exact, but I never actually asked you and now that you've asked me what it's like to be 13, I just thought I'd ask it back. I'm sorry I didn't ask you this before, it's not because I don't care! Really, I do care, I just-..."

"Hey," Natasha cut the teenager off. "It's okay. It's not your fault and I didn't blame you nor will I ever. Okay?"

"Okay..." Nea let out a relieved sigh and nodded her head at Nat's reassuring words.

"Hey. When the red turns blue, and new birds gain their wings, we'll celebrate." Natasha whispered to Nea as they continued walking towards the dining hall. It was a secret code, something that Dreykov, Madame B or anyone else didn't know. It was a promise. The red turns blue meaning that if they see the blue skies once more instead of the red lights everywhere in the building and the new birds gaining their wings meant that her and Nea will finally be free of all this and have their own lives, just like the ones they have wanted to since they first got there. Whether they admitted it to themselves and to others at first, or not. And that's when they'll celebrate. They'll celebrate all the missed holidays, birthdays, their newfound freedom... Everything the Red Room has taken from them, they'll take right back. An eye for an eye.

Nea smirked and nodded. "Of course!" She exclaimed with excitement. "How could I forget?"

Natasha smiled and ruffled the blonde's hair. "That's right, ребенок. We'll have the BEST and the BIGGEST celebration you could've ever dreamt of! How's that sound?"

"You know what would sound even better? If you would just stop messing with my hair! It's taken me forever to finally get it to behave and now you're messing it up! I swear, you always do this, and I always tell you that it's irritating! Ugh!" The teen glared up at Natasha and Nat couldn't help but laugh at the pout on her face.

"Oh, please! You look like a child."

"That's cause you make me look like one! I hate you..." Nea rolled her eyes.

"Shh, shh, child." Nat teased her with her signature smirk on her face, which she knew annoyed and frustrated Nea to no end and put her arm around the blonde's shoulder, pulling her closer to her body.

Natasha knew Nea didn't like physical touch, it wasn't her love language. In fact, she was starting to wonder that the blonde's love language actually only consisted of biting her arm and shoulder and saying 'I hate you' to her. But Nat loved hugging the smaller girl. She thought of her as a younger sister, a very annoying one, but she was still attached to her. She knew attachments were dangerous at a place like The Red Room, but she couldn't help it, the need to help the girl get out of there and how enjoyable her company was made Nat soften up involuntarily and Nea wiggled her way into her heart in just a few weeks.

The truth was, Natasha loved physical touch. Every time she reassured or comforted Nea after a bad punishment given to her by some idiot or some harsh words thrown at her by her peers out of sheer jealousy that she was just better than them, Natasha rubbed her back and hugged her until the girl calmed down. She wanted to take all her pain away and instead put all the pressure the young teenager felt on her own shoulders to carry it. She could take it. She was the strong one, after all. Always have been. Always will be.

And even if Nea pretended she hated every time Natasha hugged her, ruffled her hair or put her arm around her shoulder, Natasha knew that deep down, the blonde was actually enjoying it. She knew that Nea was actually enjoying being cared for and loved. That's what she had wanted for herself at that age too, after all. It was easy to comfort Nea with meaningful words and supportive hugs, Nat just had to do what she wished someone did to her as well when she was in the same situation Nea was in all those years ago. And she felt damn proud of herself too. Natasha knew she wanted to have a child one day. But with the graduation ceremony, that would be outright impossible. And the ceremony was getting closer and closer by the second and the worst part about it is that she didn't know when it would happen. It's another tactic the higher ups used to keep the girls in fear. They knew as soon as they turned eighteen that it would happen, the only question was the when. And Nat hated to be kept in the dark more than anything. Or so she thought...

They entered the dining hall, but not before Natasha carefully taking off her arm from around Nea's shoulder. After all, no one can know they actually enjoyed each other's company. That would not only put one of them in danger, but both of them. And perhaps some other girls too, if they start interrogating everyone who's ever been in contact with the two of them if they knew about this 'outrageous case of rule breakers'.

"You're late. Both of you." The strict and cold voice of one of the guards rang through the silence of the room.

"I taught Heinonen a new fighting position, it took some extra time and I didn't pay attention to the time." Natasha answered, matching the unfeeling voice of the man looking at them with a great amount of skepticism. She did her best to stare into the cold blue eyes of the guard and not even blink.

Natasha didn't lie. At least, not entirely. She did teach Nea the roundoff back handspring until the younger girl had mastered it, but that was an hour ago.

"Hm." Was all he said as he waved for them to sit down and start eating.

They both knew they didn't have much time to eat before the ballet lesson started and none of them wanted to be late, both of them fearing Madam B.

   So they both sat down and ate their lunch in complete silence, not even looking at the other, despite sitting right in front of each other. They both took their daily red pills, drank some water to swallow it down and stood up just as quickly as they sat down. Natasha walked out first, Nea following close by.

___________________

~2004, New York City, USA.~

As soon as Natasha escaped the Red Room and joined SHIELD with Clint Barton, even though it happened a whole lot of nine months ago, she had a horrible feeling in her chest. Barton tried telling her it was just that she had been in that place for so long and this new environment is overwhelming for her, but Natasha knew it was more than that. Much, much more than that. More complex. And she didn't understand complex feelings, as they had never been explained to her before.

She had left Nea behind and the look of hurt, betrayal and anger on her tear-soaked face as Nat said her goodbyes haunted her nightmares. Except it never happened. For all Nea knows, Natasha is MIA or KIA. The last time they spoke was almost ten months ago when Natasha told Nea that she has to go on a mission to kill this guy who had been all up in the Red Room's business and that's when Nat saw the blonde cry for the first time. She begged Nat not to go, that she had a bad feeling about it, and she's worried about her, Nat insisted. In fact, she even promised she would return and they would escape together before the girl can get to her graduation ceremony.

And the truth was that Natasha would rather it be that Nea mourned her in private and kept a stoic façade in public than to be faced with the horrible news that Natasha had escaped the Red Room all on her own and left Nea behind to go through the horrible things Natasha did.

Maybe in another universe she could've saved Nea from that nightmare.

Nat wanted to tell Barton, she really did and maybe she would've if it wasn't for the voice of Madam B in the back of her mind reminding her not to trust anybody. And as much as she tried to keep it quiet, it only got louder the longer she stayed quiet. No matter how much she claimed she escaped, no matter how far away she was from those Godawful people, the years of training and the set of rules they basically beat into her were always there. And she feared they would stay right there, reminding her to be careful of every breath she took, every step she took.

   Not to mention the nightmares. Every single decision she was forced to make and later regretted, every single mistake she had ever made, every single word ever spoken to her, every single broken promise she's made to her adopted sister. Every single memory of her 'family', Yelena, Nea, Budapest, they all came back to her every night. She felt like she would go insane any second if she didn't tell someone the thoughts and memories that tormented her mind. She had to get them out of her head one way or another or just push them so deep down that they will never resurface again. Ever.

   So, the next time Barton came to check up on her as she thrashed around in her bed, drenched in sweat and mumbling incoherent words in Russian, she decided she was going to tell him everything. Okay, maybe not all of them at once, she was still skeptical about the man and his true intentions, but just scratch the tip of the iceberg.

   "Hey... Hey, wake up." As soon as she heard a male voice waking her up from her nightmare, she screamed and sat up. One word rang through her dizzy mind. Dreykov. He found her. And now he's going to take her back. And possibly make her kill Yelena. And Nea. No, she can't let that happen. Not again.

   "You're having another nightmare. Hey, it's okay... It's okay. Everything's okay, you're safe, you're safe." Natasha didn't think, her mind was still foggy, half asleep and she was still half stuck in her dream so she did the first thing she could think of. Punch. Kick. Defend herself. "Hey, hey, stop... It's me, it's Clint." Pause. Natasha blinked a couple times to clear her eyes from the tears clouding her vision and focused on the blue pair of eyes, looking at her with nothing more than an intense amount of concern. "It's me..." Barton whispered.

   Natasha suddenly felt an awful feeling. Was it... guilt? Or something else entirely? She was still new to this. Maybe she never would get used to it. "Oh- Oh my... God. I'm... so sorry. I- I didn't-..."

   "Hey, hey... Don't blame yourself. It's okay. I understand. It was rude and frankly unprofessional of me to wake you up in the middle of your nightmare but you sounded like you were... in pain? Are you... okay?"

   Natasha wasn't used to be the one that's being comforted. Sure, she had always longed for it and yearned the hugs she gave Yelena and later Nea, or the comforting words she learned from her 'mother', Melina. But she wasn't ever expecting to actually receive them one day. And it was weird. And Nat didn't like weird, too many weird things have happened in the past months and it broke the routine she knew her entire life. It made her uncomfortable. Sure, she always wanted to be comforted and desperately needed it too, but what was she supposed to do the moment she actually received some?

   And what did Natasha Romanoff did when she didn't like a situation? Paddle backwards.

   "Uh, yea-..." And she almost did.

   'Fuck this...' She thought to herself and started telling Clint about Nea. How they met, her first impression of the then nine year old child, how their relationship later progressed over time, their inside jokes, their favorite activities together, their code for running away together, the guilt and shame she felt for leaving her behind.

   She noticed that Clint didn't interrupt once, didn't make any rude comments and there was no annoyance or malice in his facial expressions or body language and that helped Nat to relax a little too.

   In fact, as she finished, she could've sworn Clint almost had tears in his eyes. She could see some hesitation lingering behind his eyes, which he tried to hide, but Natasha was trained to take note of subtle changes in behaviors of the people around her. As soon as she was done speaking, Clint cleared his throat and blinked his tears back. Then, surprisingly, instead of using the information she just provided him with or start laughing at her or even punish her for showing emotions and forming attachments, he started talking in a soft tone.

   He told her about his girlfriend, Laura, how much he loved her and how he really believed she is the one.

   Natasha listened with intense concentration and surprised even herself with how engrossed she was with the man's life. She was glad there was a bond forming between them instead feeling fear and disgust and it confused her. Was this how normal people were supposed to feel?

   Nevertheless, she knew that Clint trusted her, making him the first one on the world to do so outside of The Red Room. And that awoke something in her. Something she thought she had buried deep in the back of her mind a long, long time ago.

   Trust.

__________________

~2014, Washington, D. C., USA.~

        Natasha felt a sharp pain in her shoulder and looked down at it, noting that she had just been shot by The Winter Soldier. This is the second time he's shot her, for fuck's sake... She gasped and hid behind a black car, resting her back against it. She knew she would bleed out in no time if she didn't get a medic as soon as possible. And to be completely honest, she didn't know if she wanted to be alive after all that she had done or if she even deserved to be alive. But she couldn't concentrate on that, she wouldn't allow herself to wallow in her self-hatred. Even if it was seemingly completely justified.

She glanced behind the car and saw The Winter Soldier once more. Panic filled her chest once more, but before he could shoot at her once more, Steve distracted him. Just as about she got ready to let out a relieved sigh, she heard someone getting on top of the car she was hiding behind and suddenly, she saw a pair of piercing blue eyes staring right at her as the person was leaning down from the car and glaring at Nat from upside down.

Before Natasha had time to react, the person exclaimed, "Boo!" And grabbed her head and smashed it into the window.

Natasha grunted in pain and her eyes filled with tears from pain and the throbbing pain in her head appeared that she hated so much. She could feel the warm blood pouring down her face and dripping on her suit but that was the least of her problems. She tried to focus her eyes on her attacker and grab them, but the person did a flawless roundoff back handspring off the car and landed in front of Nat.

Natasha furrowed her eyebrows for a second. That looked an awful lot like...

Nat stood up and tried to tackle the stranger down to take off their mask and maybe even knock them out, since they oppose much more of a threat than Nat had first anticipated, when the person simply stepped aside and Natasha stumbled over her steps. And the next thing she could process with her dizzy mind and the blood loss was that the person was behind her and they kicked her in the back of her knee, making her double over and lose her balance once more.

'This fighting technique... it's awfully familiar. But if it is familiar, then it is also predictable.' Nat thought to herself as she quickly kicked herself back up.

The blue eyes of her much smaller opponent narrowed and just from that move only, Natasha knew her next move so she acted first. She pounced at the person and tackled them to the ground. She put her knees on the person's legs, and her hands around their small wrists.

"Get off of me!!" The girl under her screamed and tried to wiggle her way free, but Nat's grip was firm and relentless.

"Who are you? Why are you attacking me? Who sent you??" Nat shot her all the questions that had been building up in her since the first time she laid her eyes on this small child. They had no place here, especially on the side which was trying so desperately to end her life and two of her allies' as well. At least this one had a voice, unlike The Winter Soldier, who never spoke. "Listen to me!" She tried reasoning with the kid underneath her who just seemed to get more and more furious by the second. "I know you don't want to do this! You're just a child! How old are you, five?"

The girl underneath her screamed at the top of her lungs and an invisible force seemed to harshly pull Nat back, up in the air and against another parked car. 'Ouch.'

Natasha groaned and tried to pull herself together once more, when all of a sudden a new, shiny thing entered her vision and suddenly she was the one in front of the gun. But instead of panicking and letting this blonde bastard shoot her right there and there, she clenched her jaw and with a fast but efficient swing of her leg, she kicked the gun out of the child's hand.

"What the-" The kid started but Nat didn't let her finish as she stood up and kicked the kid in her stomach, making her fall down to the asphalt. "Ugh..."

'Well, moment of truth or whatever they say...' Natasha thought to herself as she strides over to the small frame still laying on the ground with a small pond of blood surrounding her. If it was hers or Nat's, neither of them knew.

She squatted down and ignoring the youngling's struggles, snatched the mask off her face. Then, the world stopped for her.

Suddenly everything made sense to her and nothing at the same time. The young girl currently lying in front of her and bleeding out looked exactly -or at least very identical- to Nea. But how was that possible?

"Nea...?" She managed to breathe out, her own voice sounding different and Nat felt like she was watching a movie and she could almost see herself from outsiders perspective. This... was... impossible. There's no way... And yet... Could it be?

She saw that the child lying there came back to her senses and looked up at her with a newfound surprise and perhaps even... recognition?

Then, Natasha remembered where they were and what just happened and quickly grabbed the mortar the Nea-lookalike had with her. "Stay down," She ordered the kid and leaned against the bloody and broken car, trying to keep herself from falling over and launched it at The Winter Soldier, who was just about to shoot an equally dumbfounded looking Steve. He had the same dazed look in his eyes, the same recognition and memories resurfacing Natasha had just a few seconds ago and Nat was sure of it that if she didn't step in and shoot at The Winter Soldier, Steve would've let him shoot him, for just how much he was out of it. But the sound of the explosion seemed to momentarily break him out of his own thoughts and glanced back at Nat.

Then, he raised his eyebrows in surprise and glanced behind Natasha, to which Nat turned around as well and saw the blonde girl running away.

"No! Nea! Wait!!!" She tried screaming after her, to no avail. "Nea... No, don't leave my life again..." She whispered the last words and though she knew the young girl couldn't hear them, she still meant it. It has been more than 11 years and she still thinks about Nea and Yelena more than she would like to admit. Whether it be to herself or to Clint.

   "Please, ребенок..." She breathed out, now having no energy left to actually scream and yell after the running and bleeding kid.

____________________

Translations;

маленький = "little one"

ребенок = "kid" or "child" in direct translation.

Notes;
THIS IS THE LONGEST CHAPTER I HAVE EVER WRITTEN!!! With 6130 words, I present to you, an early Christmas present (cuz I know I won't have time during that time of the year, I'll be in Slovenia), the 21st chapter!!

lauraa_writes told me to write another chapter because she was mad at me for the cliffhanger so here it is! I'm so proud of you for today and I wish you the best, my beta reader mwah!! I'll hug you so hard on Monday, it'll hurt! (Prolly cuz I'll also bite your shoulder in the process hehehe)

Obviously before Christmas I will also post the 22nd chapter, where more plot twists will unfold!! 😍😇🫶

I love you all and I'm so grateful for all of you!

This is the first chapter of the second part I'm so excited ahhh I have so much planned for Kaisa/Nea and Bucky and Nat!!!

I Hope the timelines match, but if they don't, idgaf anymore cuz I spent over two hours looking at all the websites.

Anyway, if you liked this chapter, please vote and comment, it means a lot to me!! 🩵💜

—not proof read—