BUCKY BARNES

"Not a lot, just forever
Intertwined, sewn together
Like the rock bears the weather
Not a lot, just forever"

IT HAS BEEN a month since Kaisa first called James 'Jamsie' and he had not made her live it down. He constantly calls her 'Kai' now and he knew that she, despite acting annoyed by it, actually found it endearing.

   Kaisa had another mission, just two days before, as a so-called "second chance", but she had tried to escape once more, once again, failing miserably. When they took her back, she was unconscious and looked like she had been through more than a simple beating... Perhaps another experiment. James felt a pang of sadness and disappointment at the girl attempting to escape without him once again, but quickly swallowed the bitter feelings and tried his best to not show any signs of it to her. After all, deep down he knew it was nothing against him personally, she just saw an opportunity to get away from this hell and took on it. He would've done the same, in a heartbeat.

   "Kai?" He asks the young girl, who's lying on the floor, still as a rock. "Kaisa?" He tried again, no response. Not even a single reaction or humming. Now he was worried.

   "Kaisa? Kaisa, are you okay? What happened? Can you hear me?" His tone was now all high-pitched and wobbly, trying his best not to burst out in tears and accidentally scare the young blonde. He didn't know what to do anymore. He can't just break the glass and check on her, but he was now seriously considering it and getting dangerously close to making that decision.

   That's when it caught his eyes. A small, subtle movement. The girl had moved her right hand. If all his focus wasn't on her, he would've missed it.

   "Kaisa?" He blinked his tears back and tried to forget all about his own feelings and concentrate on hers, instead. "Are you awake?"

   He heard as the blonde groaned and sat up, looking around her cell like she just woke up from a long, tender sleep. Then her eyes widened and her hand went up to her head. That's when James noticed it too.

   Bandages.

   Her head was covered in white bandages. She looked like she was about to cry, her eyes were red and puffy, her whole body was shaking and she hugged her knees to her chest, resting her temple on top of them.

   "Kaisa? What's wrong?" James asked once again, for what felt like the thousandth time. His voice had a harsher edge to it now, scared and frustrated at the girl for not responding despite her making it obvious that she heard him and understood what he was saying. He felt like she was treating him equally as bad as the guards here. Not talking to anyone, not even looking at them, completely ignoring them and acting like she didn't understand the language.

   Kaisa finally looked up, her teary eyes focused on him, still, it looked like she wasn't allowing the tears to fall. When she opened her mouth to speak, at first no sound came out so she closed it again and gulped. Then she tried a second time, "They finished it..." She breathed out.

   James was confused. What was she talking about? Is she still under the influence of the drugs they used to make her fall asleep? It didn't look like she would elaborate, so James had to ask her what she meant by that.

   The blonde sighed and looked down at her feet, like she was embarrassed or ashamed. "They... When the last time I..." Another pause, another sigh. "The last time I tried to escape... They talked about something... called "Switch"... And I didn't know what- what that meant, but... Now I do... I think I do..." Kaisa seemed like she was done with everything, but still forced herself to continue, knowing James didn't understand a single thing that was coming out of her mouth.

   "The 'Switch'... It's a project. Made just for me... I know it is, they told me everything... everything that it would do... and- and... I... I don't know how... I'm sorry, I'm being so pathetic right now..."

   But James shook his head, not wanting the girl to think of herself like that, "No, Kaisa... Don't even say that. You're not pathetic. At all. It's going to be alright... Everything's gonna be alright."

   Kaisa sighed and pulled her knees closer to her chest. "I-"

   James cut her off before she could finish the sentence, "No, it's okay. If you're not comfortable enough with talking about it yet, I'm not going to be the person who forces you to do so anyway. I understand..."

   James could swear he saw the blonde's eyes widening and filling up with tears once more, maybe in a mix of sadness and relief? Just how little love, how little comfort and understanding has she received to react this way?

   She looked devastated, but hopeful at the same time. James wanted to hug her and never let her go. To tell her they were going to escape, that eventually everything will be okay, that all of this was just a bad dream and he's got her now, but... He can't. And not only because of the physical barrier between them, but also the emotional one, the rational one, that keeps whispering every moment he gets these thoughts that she's obviously very attention and love deprived and maybe she wouldn't be comfortable with a hug, especially with what she just seemed to go through. Or maybe, just maybe... that's exactly what she needs. Perhaps she'd pull away if he ever got the chance to hug her, maybe she'd push him away before he even got remotely close to her, maybe she'd flinch before melting into the hug and letting him comfort her, or maybe she'd even cry into his arms. And then maybe he could wipe those little tears from her cheeks and kiss her forehead as he whispers sweet nothings into her ears and eventually fall asleep with her securely in his arms, making sure she's safe. As much as he tried to fight down the feeling of protection whenever he saw her in an emotional distress, James knew that it went way deeper than that. He wanted to heal all her wounds, even if it meant he'd have to rip off the band aids of his own ones. He wanted to stroke her hair, twirl it around his fingers as she falls into a deep sleep. He wanted to give her all the love she'd been wrongfully denied from.

-______-

At night, he was awoken by the door slamming into he wall once again. He knew what that meant. He knew Kaisa knew what that meant. This time, however was different. He heard the voice of the person whose mere existence made his blood turn cold.