KAISA HÄMÄLÄINEN

"From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes
I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this"

        KAISA WAS AWARE of the very eyes watching her in her sleep. Of course she was, this was the new norm over the weeks she'd spent there. So much so that when James disappeared for weeks occasionally, she almost missed it. She would much rather have James' eyes on her as she was sleeping than the scientists' as they put her under more pressure and experiments.

   It has been almost two months since she first took off the blindfold and looked around the very cell she now calls her 'room'. It's one of the many childish habits she has taken up over the past months. Having a 'room' instead of the inhumane cell she has been given sounded much more appealing and comfortable. It made her feel better and as much as she hated to admit it, she started to care about what's comfortable for her and she also started to care for James.

   That was what had made her so scared. That she'd become attached to someone and eventually lose them. She feared that's what would happen to James as well. He'd eventually become tired of her and beg the guards to let him have another cell. She didn't deserve friends, especially not a good person like James was. That's what she always told herself, but her feelings seemed to have a mind of their own.

   Over the past months, she has been through more experiments than she'd like to admit and think about. Just a day before, she overheard the scientists talk about how she's "ready" for something. The girl didn't know what that meant or what was going to happen to her now, but by their tones, she knew that it wasn't any good. Not that they even knew the concept of "good" or "bad".

   That morning, Kaisa woke up to the loud noise the door made as it slammed against the wall. They were coming for her. She knew they were, there was no other possible explanation.

   The guards opened her cell door and told her to get up as harshly as their voices let them. The girl gathered all her remaining strength -which wasn't a lot due to the lack of food and sleep she gets- and stood up. This time the guards didn't grab her arms, they just let her walk out by herself. She tried looking back at James, to see if he was watching but one of the guards slapped her, forcing her to look straight ahead.

   They took her to a different room this time. The walls were boring plain white, sure, but there were no needles, restraints or any other form of punishment and experimentation.

   Kaisa furrowed her eyebrows, looking around the room with confusion and suspicion. Is this what they meant by her "being ready" for something?

   All of a sudden, the door opened behind her and then closed again and there stood the 'chief'. He looked straight at her and had the nerve to smile. The blonde girl wanted to punch him to wipe that stupid grin off his face, but she knew she couldn't and shouldn't even go near him.

   "Good morning. I have some good news for you!"

   The girl just looked at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence. The gray haired man continued, "Today will be your first ever mission! Aren't you excited?" Kaisa froze almost immediately at that word, her mind wandering to another dimension, the thoughts almost giving her a migraine with how loud and fast they were.

Hold up, did he just say mission?

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no... That's not good. That's not good at all. If they're going to send her on a mission, the mission she thinks she's going to receive, that will ruin everything. That will mean it was all for nothing. Her death, the nightmares, the guilt, the fire, the kidnapping, her cell... Nothing!

It didn't make sense to her at all. No, it wasn't supposed to be this way. She was supposed to come up with a plan to leave this place forever and live on her own. No, that's stupid, she would die. But not if she takes James with her, not then... They could find a place to live, pretend that he's her dad and have ice creams and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the rest of their lives.

   So that's what they meant by her "being ready" for something. But this isn't good, this isn't good at all! Why is this always happening to her? Just when something good happens in her life, someone and something completely ruins it all!

   "Hello? Are you listening, child? Your skills will be needed for a mission. Can you handle weapons?" The man looked at her curiously and Kaisa quickly shook her head and blinked twice to snap herself back from her internal panicking.

   Kaisa nodded, looking down and trying her hardest not to break down in tears or scream at the top of her lungs just from the mere thought of going on missions for these scumbags.

   "Perfect," The 'chief' clapped his hands together, startling Kaisa and making her slightly tense up. "Then we shall see what you're capable of. Let's go, let's go! Off with you."

   The blonde looked up at the man, wondering what he just meant by that. The man raised his eyebrows and gestured towards the door, indicating for her to lead the way. How? Where would she even go? She can't escape now, she knows that with the amount of guards they have, it will be the Mission Impossible. She doesn't know where the shooting range is, where the training room is or what she's even allowed to do, touch or even look at a certain way. So how can he expect her to lead the way? Is it possible that it's because he doesn't know where it is they want to take her? That would be a hilariously dumb thing, and it was highly unlikely, the only acceptable explanation would be that they simply just want to see and analyze her coordination skills, but the thought that the man was just as lost as her made her smirk to herself.

   They soon reached their destination, the letters "Training room" was written in Russian. So they were somewhere in Russia... Great to know. Kaisa hesitated before opening the door and stepping inside. She looked around, trying to see what she could use for her advantage.

   The room was plain and simple, no extravagant furniture or weapons. The walls were covered in gray-ish spots, but otherwise were white as almost all the rooms in the building, the guns carefully put away in chests that looked too big to be real, the knives and swords beautifully polished and hung on the walls like some sort of morbid decoration. There were some red and white punching bags, the boxing gloves right next to them, in a bag. The floor was wooden and it seemed like it was just cleaned and polished, as it was almost shining. The ceiling looked like it had been through some brutal beating and weather which was understandable, considering how cold it was in the entire building but especially in this room, the windows were all wide open, probably for the training. Sometimes the wind blew in one or two snowflakes and the windows shook in the strong breeze, but other than the echo of the occasional window slamming, it was quiet. Eerily quiet. It felt like the punching bags and other training equipments were waiting for Kaisa to make the first move, to strike a blow or fire a gun. Or maybe it was just her lack of sleep that was messing with her brain again and she was, once again, imagining things.

Whatever it was, she knew one thing. If she wanted to survive, she'd have to fight. And she'd damned if she would die again, after everything she had been through. No way.

And so she did whatever they asked her to do. If they wanted her to fight with a sword, she picked one up and did just that. If they wanted her to go and train by the punching bag, she did that until she was told to stop. If they wanted her to fire guns at targets painted on the walls, she did that.

She was doing everything they commanded her to do. But not because she was obedient and gave in to be their little puppet on a string. No, not because she was ready to be a mindless killer and only think about her missions like in her past. No, also not because she gave up on freedom and became a slave.

No, none of those options. Those weren't even options to begin with. Those were just scenarios. There was a big difference between the two. Options meant she considered the possibility of them and there's a high probability they'll eventually be reality. Scenarios, however meant that they were meaningless and insignificant little thoughts in her mind, trying to keep her from accomplishing her goal. Scenarios were her second biggest enemy after these assholes she was forced to see everyday.

She did all of these seemingly normal and routine tasks all for a good reason.

She had a plan.

And not just any plan. An escape plan.