She was really gone. Out of my life. But at the same time, a part of me was okay.

I went back to the studio to work, but I was distracted by our fight. By the way she broke up with me. I was frustrated, confused, angry, and heartbroken. In the process of everything, I always had my music. Marina didn't need me. She was fine without me. I sat in the chair as tears roll down my face, but I knew I just let the most important person in my life out of it.

All I wanted to do was scream and yell and curse out, but I didn't. I just cried. I was stressed out and losing Marina made everything worse. Eventually, I wiped my face and went back to recording more songs, but periodically through the day I couldn't help but cry some more. I wanted to call her and tell her how much of a fool I was, but the same time I was mad at her. For not understanding how much this meant to me. My music was my craft and yes maybe I should've been more flexible and spent more time for her, but for her to insult me...it bothered me. I never insulted her about saving lives.

I grumble while these thoughts when through my head, everyone was just a mess. And I needed to complete my demo for tomorrow. I shook off my emotions and recorded my new song. When I finished, I sat down and played with my fingers, it was the first time in weeks that I took an actual break. That I wasn't thinking about the next rhythm to play with or the next phrase in my mind that I could convert to a song.

I missed her. A lot. I loved her, and I needed her.

I stand up and walked out the studio to be greeted by my sister, Janet. She raises an eyebrow while grinning, "Are you done working? That's not like you." I sigh, "Feeling the blues. Marina dumped me." She gasps, "Really?! Why?" I told her our fight and conversation while as she scratches the back of her neck.

"Maybe you guys need a break, to figure everything out. You know unlike you Michael, I don't believe in soulmates. There's too many people in this planet for everyone to be destined to one person. I think Marina was probably just a good chapter in your life, and maybe this is a wake up call for you to realize you're at the peak of your career and she's at the peak in hers. There's nothing wrong with a break. If you two were truly meant for each other, you two will get back together someday."

I bite my lip at her response before sighing, "Yeah, maybe we just need to go our separate ways, but I still miss her so much." I look down at my loafers as Janet wraps her arms around me tightly as I embrace her, "Thank you." She giggles, "No problem. Now, I heard from a little birdie you're doing a little Disney film?" I gasp, "How you heard!" She continues to giggle as she pulls out a roll of paper, showing me a poster , "I have connections."

I looked at the poster while chuckling, "My, my. They already made promotional stuff for it? It doesn't even come out this year." She laughs, "Who cares, I'm going to have a good laugh watching this." My cheeks flush bright red, "Do the rest of the family know?" She shakes her head, "Not yet, but I can't wait for the teasing fest we are going to have when we go to Disneyland and see you."

I roll my eyes, scoffing, "You guys are just jealous! Jealous!" I could help but smiling as I walk upstairs from the basement to the kitchen. My mother was baking muffins as I sniff the sweet aroma that filled the room, "Blueberry?" She nods, "Yes Michael, can you help me get them out the oven?" I nod as I grab the kitchen mitten before opening the oven and grabbing the pan of muffins, setting them on the counter. She smiles, "Thank you, have you seen Marina? She's the one who gave me her recipe." I bite my lip as I look at her, "We broke up, mother." She groans, "Awh no! Come here my little baby."

She begins to hug me and kiss my face as I laugh, "Mother! Mother! I'm okay!" She pinched my cheek, "Mm, just know she was very lucky to have such a gentleman." I smile at her before grabbing one of the muffins and walking out the kitchen.

I swear if I hear her name one more time.

I walk upstairs to my room, closing the door as I walk to my dresser opening it and digging through my clothes as I find her red lingerie. It was going to be hard to get over her..her scent, her smile, her heart, her face. I set the muffins down as my fingers trail against the lace material. I closed my eyes, inhaling slowly, as I thought about the first time I met her, out first date, our first kiss, the first time we made love.

How could I even learn how to live my life without her? Guess I better learn.

—

"So you guys are really done?"

I sip the glass of warm herbal tea that Miranda gave me as we sat in her living room together as I nod, "Yeah, we are. I think it's for the best." She frowns, "Such a lie, you guys are so miserable without each other, you two were meant to be." I shake my head, "We are two different people. Two different lives."

I look down at the tea as my face was red and blotchy from crying so much. I suck my teeth before setting the glass on the coffee table in front of me, "No more Michael. Just hearing his name makes me so sad and angry." She nods as she hugs me tightly as I sniffle. I release from the hug as she hands me some tissues so I can blow my nose.

"I feel like watching a real sad love movie with some ice cream. And then drown in my sorrows. Shit, Miranda, what if I made a mistake for breaking up with him? Oh, those puppy dog eyes, those curls, the way he giggles.."

I groan in distress as I lay on the couch while Miranda grabs a blanket for me to cuddle with, "Sweetie, you had a long day, just take it lightly. How about we watch a soap opera and make fun of the characters like we use to do?" I smile softly while nodding as I sit up on the couch before she turns on the tv.

We turned on a Latina soap opera and we laughed at the guy who cheated with his wife with a younger woman as the two girls attacked him. I wipe the tears from my face, "He wasn't even clever while cheating!" Miranda nods, "What an idiot!" She holds me in her arms as she giggle and have a great time together.

—
jeez my head hurts so much, idk what's wrong with me. anyways, don't forget to like and comment. 🤒