》》[start playing the song - to build a home - at the indicated spot in the chapter]

••••

A GROAN LEAVES VICTORIA'S LIPS AS SHE STRETCHES OUT ON THE BED. Her eyes open to the sun blooming down on her. She notices the space beside her was empty but as she turns, her hands land on Buck's bare chest as the man laid beside her. "Morning." Buck's gruff voice says as she rests her head on his shoulder. The man runs his hand over her, wrapping it around her and pulling her closer.

"Hm, what time is it?" She asks. She wondered if it was late enough that she got enough sleep because a heavy feeling in her chest indicated differently.

"Just past eight." Buck tells her as he stroked his hand through her hair. Victoria instantly stills, her eyes widening but Buck chuckles, stopping her from springing up. "Eddie went to drop Chris and Rosie off at school, don't worry." He assures her and she sighs, resting back down.

She laid in Eddies shirt, Buck's finger playing with the edge of it. "It feels so weird." Victoria admits as she stares at the ring on her finger.

"A good weird though, right?" Buck asks as he presses a kiss to her temple. She smiles gently as she tilts her head to meet his gaze.

"Of course." She responds and he plants a kiss on her lips which she reciprocates immediately. It was short and sweet, planting a few more before he deepens on, his hand brushing against her thigh. "I have to meet Tk in an hour." Victoria mumbles against his lips but he just rolls on top of her.

"The loft isn't that far away." He responds, kissing her once more. Victoria moans against his lips but she couldn't help but feel the tightness in her chest increase. She shifts slightly underneath him, feeling his hands grip her skin.

"Buck." She says softly and this catches his attention. He pulls back slightly, hovering over her lips with his own until he noticed her discomfort which caused him to create more space between them.

"Everything okay?" He asks and she just sits up, rubbing her chest a bit.

"Just not really in the mood." Victoria admits as she swings her legs over the bed, standing up on the cold wood. Buck nodded, laying back on the bed and resting his arm behind his head.

Making her way to the bathroom, Victoria keeps her hand on her chest as she rests against the counter. She squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, groaning as her breath comes out shorter. She rocks back and forth on her feet as she continues to hit her chest but her breath only struggles to come out more.

"Buck." Her voice was strangled but she was able to get his name out.

"Yeah, baby?" He answers as he walks toward the bathroom, having put on sweatpants that hung low on his hips. Buck stops as he notices the woman, his eyes widening. "Hey, what's wrong?" Buck asks, rushing over to her and placing his hand on her back.

"I-i can't breathe." She denies, shaking her head. Buck hears her scattered breaths, seeing how she rubbed at her chest. He quickly grabs her hips, lifting her onto the counter.

"Okay, just sit here, I'm gonna grab the med kit." Buck tells her as he rushes to the other room momentarily. Victoria rocks back and forth slightly, tilting her head back. As he made his way back, he place the kit beside them, opening it and grabbing the oxygen. He quickly puts the mask on her face. "Come on, take nice easy breaths for me, baby." He says, rubbing her thigh as he holds the mask to her race. "Just breathe with me, okay?" Buck tells her, taking breaths as she stared at him, mimicking his actions.

A door closing catches his attention as he turned his head to the side. "Hey, so I stopped by that little Cafe on my way home, got you guys some coffee and pastries." Eddies voice rings out throughout the house before he found his way toward the bedroom. Seeing the scene in front of him, he instantly moves toward them. "Whats going on?" He asks, concern in his voice.

"I think she's just having a flare up." Buck tells him and Eddie grabs the small heart monitor, setting it up and beginning to take her vitals.

"Your hearts not in a dangerous zone, Vic, thats a good sign." Eddie tells her but she was just staring down at the floor.

"The doctor did say this could happen." Buck adds on but it didnt seem to be helping the situation.

"Damn it." She mutters, running her hands through her hair as she pushes the oxygen mask off of her face.

"Hey, you're okay." Eddie assures her but she pushes his hand away from her arm.

"No, cause you're gonna say i shouldn't train for the next few days to not overwork myself." Victoria retorts and he frowns, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Vic, it's all right, you can push the test--"

"No, i can't! I-ive waited so long and the next text isn't for six months. I can't just skip it." Victoria explains to him. Buck sighs as he crosses his arms against his chest.

"But if you're not one hundred percent, I don't think you should push yourself." Buck denies, not wanting her to push back any progress she had made.

"You werent a hundred percent and you were trying to go back to work after the tsunami so don't fucking say that to me." She snapped back suddenly which caused him to be quiet. She hadn't meant to be harsh toward him, she was just overwhelmed and she didn't really want words of encouragement right now.

Eddie clears his throat as he rubs his hand up and down her back. "Okay, just keep taking deep breaths." He tells her but she shakes her head.

"Get out." She tells them, squeezing her eyes shut. Neither of them said anything. "Just, please, leave me alone." Victoria states and Buck shakes his head.

"Your hearts still not--"

"Please, go." She pleads as she covers her face. The room was silent as Eddie and Buck shared a look with each other. They didn't want to leave her right now in this condition but it seemed they weren't exactly helping her.

Eddie sighed but gestured Buck to move to the door. Buck frowns but starts walking. Eddie glances at Victoria, squeezing her knee once more before heading out as well, closing the door behind them.

••••

VICTORIA HELD HER HEAD AS SHE SAT ON THE TILE FLOOR, her knees pressed up against her chest as she rested her elbows on top of them. Her eyes were closed as she tried to calm herself down. Her heart was still fluttering lightly, her breath a bit all over the place but it didnt seem as bad as it was a few minutes ago. As a knock on the door rings through her ears, a long sigh leaves her lips.

"I told you to go away." She calls out. Victoria knew Buck and Eddie just wanted to help but she didn't want to have a conversation right now. The door opened though, much to her dismay.

"Not to me you didn't." A new voice spoke up. She looks up, a bit annoyed as she looked at TK who shut the door behind him.

"TK, I'm not in the mood." She denies, resting her head back down.

"So, you went all world war z on them, huh?" TK points out as he slides down, resting his back against the counter as he sits beside her. "Having doubts?" He asks which makes her head snap up, a confused expression on her face.

"What? No, of course not." She denies quickly, wondering why he would ask that. He holds his hands up in defense.

"Just making sure."

"No, i love them, I just needed to be alone." Victoria tells him, chewing the inside of her cheek.

"I'm here for a few days, Vic. We can train later." TK points out but she shook her head.

"The test is in a week."

"Okay? And you're not exactly in bad shape." TK points out, raising an eyebrow but that didnt mean anything to Victoria.

"That doesn't mean i won't fail." She retorts and he tilts his head.

"You won't." He denies. "But shouting at the two men who love you and are just trying to help you won't do anything." TK points out and Victoria rests her head back against the counter.

"I know." She admits as she closes her eyes. "Sometimes I just need space." Victoria wasnt used to having so many people around her, it just overwhelmed her. She would get used to it but it wasnt just going to happen overnight.

"Well, how about we just relax for today, I know you are on shift tomorrow but we can train at the gym at the firehouse and then after, we can do more intense training once you have a few days to get back to normal." TK explains to her, rubbing her knee softly. Victoria knew he was right, they all were, she was just so used to pushing herself past her limit cause no one usually stopped her.

"Okay."

"Okay?" TK responds and she nods. He claps his hands together. "Lets get you up, your coffees gone cold but we can check out this lunch spot i saw online and grab something to eat. You should get your energy up." He tells her, grabbing her hands and carefully pulling her to her feet. "After you put on some actual clothes." He teases her and she playfully glares at him.

"Can i at least take a shower." She asks him and TK nods his head.

"As long as you're not gonna pass out from the hot water." He retorts as he knew she shouldnt add heat to her current condition. TK opens the door heading out the room with Victoria beside him. "We're all good." TK says as they notice Buck and Eddie simply waiting in the hallway.

"I'm sorry, i didn't mean to shout at you guys." She apologizes with a frown. Eddie sighs as he shakes his head, stepping forward.

"You can shout, Vic, but you have to let us help you." Eddie responds and she nods slowly.

"You feeling better?" Buck questions, concern in his voice still.

"TK wants to go to lunch so I was just gonna take a shower." Victoria explains to them and they seemed wary.

"And you're good to do that?" Eddie asks her.

"I think so." She responds, turning in order to head back toward the bathroom.

"I'm just gonna go with her and make sure she doesn't fall and hit her head." Buck adds, trailing after the woman.

"Dont let her turn the water to hot, lukewarm at most." TK calls out to him and Buck gives a thumbs up. As he enters the bathroom, Victoria was just leant against the counter. He moves toward the shower, reaching in.

"Okay, let's see." He mumbles to himself as he turns it on, his finger under the water to make sure it got to the right temperature. Victoria seemed a bit tired as she had her eyes closed momentarily.
"

You sure you don't want me to bring a chair or a stool in?" Buck asks as he pulls his hand back.

She shakes her head as she holds her arms. "I think I'm okay." She responds and he moves toward her, his hands going to her hips momentarily as he leans in and presses a kiss to her temple. Victoria hums, resting against him for the moment before he pulls back.

"Call out if you need anything." Buck states and she nods, gazing up at him. He just strokes her cheek before turning and heading out the door, closing it just enough but leaving a small gap so they could hear her.

••••

TK GLANCES AT VICTORIA FROM ACROSS THE TABLE, tilting his head as he analyzed her a bit. "Feeling better with food in your stomach?" He asks curiously as she seemed to have a bit more colour in her face and breathing seemed to have normalized. Victoria nods her head as she leans her arms on the table, meeting his gaze.

"You should call Carlos." She tells him and TK sighs, looking to the side momentarily. "Tk, i get that you think things are going too well, but isn't that better than the opposite?" Victoria asks him but he just crosses his arms against his chest.

"I just don't wanna talk about Carlos while I'm here, okay?" TK responds and they were silent for a moment.

"Okay." Victoria responds, nodding her head lightly as she glances down at her now empty plate. "The nursing home called." She admits and TK seemed a bit concerned as he sat up straighter.

"Your mom still doing okay?"

"Relatively." She responds, rubbing her face. "Shes not retaining as much as she used to, she keeps asking when is her daughter and fiance coming to visit." Victoria tells him and TK frowns.

"Do they think she's just gonna keep deteriorating?" TK questions but it was pretty clear what was happening.

"They say they can't say anything for sure right now." Victoria answers. "Which is just the kind way of saying yes without being blunt about it." She mutters with a deep sigh.

"I'm sorry." TK apologizes but Victoria shakes her head.

"I've been dealing with this since I was sixteen, it's fine." She points out. Victoria knew her mother wasn't getting any better, she had accepted that fact a long time ago.

"Have you told Eddie and Buck." He asks and she was confused, furrowing her eyebrows.

"They haven't even met my mom, why bother them with something like this?" Victoria retorts. It wasnt like they were so close to her and knew all about her history, they barely knew anything about her so why would Victoria tell them that she was dying? It was pretty self explanatory.

"Because they love you."

"I can deal with it." She admits as she shrugs her shoulders. TK knew better than to try and argue with her, especially over a matter like this so he changed the subject.

"Whats it like being engaged again?" TK questions, wiggling his eyebrows a bit.

"Strange." Victoria tells him honestly. "I never thought I'd reach this stage in my life again." She admits.

"Youve been through a lot, Vic and you've persevered. You deserve this." TK admits as he smiles at his best friend. Victoria sighs as she tilts her head back.

"Lets just hope we make it to the wedding this time." She retorts and TK's face instantly drops, being replaced with a scowl.

"Dont." He warns her, narrowing his gaze a bit and she rolls her eyes playfully.

"What? It was a joke."

"I'll throw my toast at you." TK warns, holding it up and she snorts, raising an eyebrow at the man.

"With your aim? Good luck." Victoria teases him with a slight smirk and he scoffs, chucking it at her but it hits her plate.

"You bitch."

••••

AS VICTORIA HEADS TOWARD THE STAIRS IN THE FIREHOUSE, Buck trailed close behind her, so close she could practically feel his breath on the back of her neck. "You sure you don't want to tell Bobby?" He asks her, concern in his voice. Victoria sighs as she simply shrugged her shoulders.

"Yeah, it was just a fluke." She answers him but she saw the look that he was giving her. "I'm fine, Buck." Victoria assures him before making her way up the stairs, seeing the group gathered around the table.

"Hows Maddie doing?" Hen asks, her eyes on Chimney who groans a little bit.

"Not too well considering our ob just said the hospital staff is all over the place and she may not be there for the birth."

"How close is she?" Victoria asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Shes due soon, it's just the stress of all of it." Chimney admits as he rubs his forehead with his hand.

"I'm sure everything will go fine, Chimney." Bobby assures him and he nods his head, although it seemed the man was still stressed.

"TK settling in okay?" Hen asks curiously as she looks toward Victoria.

"Yeah, he's just exploring today."

"He ever tell you why Carlos didn't come?" Eddie questions and she presses her lips together tightly.

"Thats a bit more complicated." Victoria admits with an awkward look on her face. Eddie raises his eyebrows but doesnt press the matter. Feeling her phone buzz, she takes it out of her pocket, seeing it was a message from Rosie.

I love you.

Her eyebrows furrow as she stares at the message. It wasnt super odd but Rosie usually only added that to an end of a message, not as a seperate one altogether. But what worried her was what came next.

I'm sorry for everything, I appreciate what you've done for me and I could never ask for a better sister.

Why was Rosie all of a sudden saying this? She instantly felt something was wrong, her stomach twisting as she immediately sent a message back.

Is everything okay?

"You good?" Hen asks curiously as she sees the complex look on Victoria's face.

"Just Rosie texting me." Victoria mutters as she stares down at her phone. She notices the three bubbles on the bottom of the screen but the girl was taking way too long to answer.

Rosie, what's going on?

It was marked as red, the three bubbles still there before they completely disappeared. Victoria chews at her bottom lip as she taps her phone anxiously. "Hey, turn that up." Chimney says which catches her attention. And as they all look toward the television, they see a woman broadcasting with a building in the background.

"We have reports coming out of Kingland High School of a shooter being on the premises. There's no word of how many injuries or fatalities but police are speeding to the scene now."

Victoria's blood runs cold. That was Rosie's school. Everyone knew that, their eyes moving to Victoria who just stood holding her phone tightly as a look of shock filled her features.

"Okay, everyone in the truck now!" Bobby shouts, everyone jumping up from their seats and rushing down the stairs. Victoria looked back at her phone, immediately tapping the call button and bringing the phone to her ear.

"Answer me." She mutters, climbing into the truck with everybody else. The phone continues to ring for way too long, especially since Rosie seemed to be close by to it. Victoria was fiddling with her fingers, waiting to hear her sisters voice. "Come on." Victoria was only met with the familiar dial tone and voice mail message.

"Heyyyy, can't come to the phone right now but send me a text because you know, it's the twenty first century."

••••

JUMPING OUT OF THE TRUCK, Victoria sees the school being cornered off, numerous parents screaming at the cops as they try and get past the barricade. As her eyes search the crowd, she noticed that no kids had left the school yet. This made her confused as it had taken them almost five minutes to get there, how come no one was being evacuated? She sees Athena, instantly rushing over to her.

"Athena!" Victoria calls out, trying to move past the barricade but Athena was quick to block her, shaking her head.

"You can't go in there, Vic." Athena denies and Victoria seemed angry as she stared back at Athena.

"Shes my sister."

"And there's an active shooter still currently behind those walls." Athena snaps back, not caring at that particular moment that they were friends. She had to do her job and she wasn't about to allow Victoria to risk her life.

"They're not doing anything!" Victoria screams, pointing at the numerous police officers who were just staring at the school.

"I just got here, okay? Let me go access the situation and I'll come right back. Just stay here." Athena explains to her with a sigh, her eyes moving to bobby briefly before heading over to talk to who was in command of the scene.

"Set up a triage zone, we don't know what we're dealing with yet but it's best to prepare for the worst." Bobby says, looking toward Hen and Chimney who nod their heads. Victoria just continued to stare at the school before feeling a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, she's gonna be okay." Eddie assures her but victoria didn't know if that was true. Her message was still left on read.

"She stopped responding to me." Victoria answers as tears brim in her eyes. Eddie's head drops slightly as he glanced at Buck who didnt really know what to say. What did you say to someone's who's sister was currently trapped in a building with an active shooter?

"We need all hands on deck." Bobby tells them, knowing they wanted to comfort Victoria but they had to be prepared for the worst. Eddie and Buck seemed hesitant but knew he was right.

As they start setting up triage, Athena comes back over to them. "So, there's only one shooter, white male, seventeen, approximately five foot ten. They're setting a perimeter, he's not getting away." She denies, shaking her head.

"Well, aren't they going in to get the guy?" Eddie asks with a scoff. If it was him, he would already be in there, not stood out here like them with their tails tucked between their legs.

"Believe me, i am not too impressed with their lack of protection." Athena scoffs, angry as well. She suddenly notices something, narrowing her gaze. "Wheres Vic?" She asks, noticing the girl was no longer with them.

"Shes right over--" Bobby starts to say but stops when Victoria was no where in his sight.

"Damn it." Athena grumbles. As she turns her head, she sees Buck and eddie take a step but she quickly stops them. "Dont make me tackle yall to the ground." She threatens with a glare. They seemed angry but didnt push it. "I will go get her, the rest of you stay put." She states firmly, pointing at them before heading toward the school, drawing her weapon.

》》[to build a home start]

Slowly making her way down the hallway of the school, Victoria made sure to look around any corners she came up to. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she tried to be as quiet as possible. Every crunch of glass, every breath that left her lips made her wary of her surroundings. She saw blood on the floor, scattered but no bodies. She didn't know if that was a good or bad sign. Maybe people were able to get themselves to a safer location.

"Rosie?" She whispers before pressing her lips together tightly. Victoria glances into the classroom beside her before continuing down the hallway.

It was only when she turned did she notice a girl knelt on the floor. She stops, her breath catching in her throat as she just stared for a moment. But as the girl turned her head, a flood of relief moves through her as the familiar face registers in her brain. "Vic." Rosie's voice cracks as she also seemed very grateful to see her sister right now.

Victoria didn't waste time in rushing over to her, kneeling down and wrapping her arms around Rosie. "Hey, hey. I'm here." She assures her, holding her tightly and she hears Rosie's soft cries. "I'm here." But as she leant back, she felt liquid underneath her knees. Glancing in front of her, she saw that her sister wasnt alone. A girl laid in front of her with a pool of blood surrounding her. A familiar girl.

Jennie.

"Y-youve gotta help her. S-she closed her eyes and now she won't wake up." Rosie explains to her and Victoria was quick to analyze the girls injuries, noticing numerous gunshot wounds.

"Jennie, can you hear me?" Victoria asks as she checks for a pulse. It was barely there, a flicker if anything. "Okay, listen to me Rosie, I need you to press against her wounds as hard as you can." She states firmly but Rosie just sat frozen.

"I-is she gonna be okay? She has to be okay."

"Rosie, i need you to what I said." Victoria knew this was traumatic, she knew Rosie was most likely in shock but if they were to have any chance of saving Jennie she had to listen, and she had to help.

Rosie nods, placing her hands on Jennie's abdomen while Victoria starts to do compressions. It was what she could do while they waited for someone, a cop, paramedic anyone. But she didnt have her radio on her, they were in such a rush to get to the school she had forgotten it.

And well, it didn't seem like the police were doing anything to stop the shooting which made her furious. Could Jennie have been saved the numerous bullets if they had entered even just a few minutes prior?

As Victoria continues to perform cpr, she couldnt help the gut feeling that came across her that something was wrong. Her eyes move to her sister briefly before lifting up in front of her. Her breath completely stops, her heartbeat racing as her eyes widen in the slightest. In front of her, just a few feet away stood a man-- a teenager-- with a blank expression on his face, music blasting through headphones on his ears and a semi- automatic in his hands.

Her actions falter which catches Rosie's attention. The girl looks up and freezes just as her sister had done. Victoria takes a shaky breath, using one hand to move Rosie behind her, protecting her from the gun. The boy just stares at them, seemingly looking right through them but the gun, that was pointed directly at them.

Victoria squeezes Rosie's hand, adjusting her position even more as she stared down the gunman. There was no use talking to him, he probably couldn't hear her and he was already too far gone to talk down. She couldn't get the weapon from him since she was in front of his weapon and he would simply shoot her if she moved an inch. There was really nothing she could do but be in front of her sister and hope when he shot, that he focused on her enough that Rosie could get away.

Wasn't this just a perfect moment in her life? She had only just got engaged the night prior and here she was with the blood of her sisters best friend on her hands with a gun pointed at her. Yeah, this seemed on brand for her. She couldn't be one of those people with simple lives.

Victoria closes her eyes, preparing for the impact. As a shot rings out, she flinches, her eyes tightening more. But she felt nothing. Her eyebrows furrow and as she reopened her eyes, she saw the shooter now on the floor, blood starting to pool around him. Behind him stood Athena, her gun pointed toward them.

She couldn't help but smile as she saw the woman, relieved she found them in time. "Shooter is down." Athena calls into her radio, putting her gun back in her holster as she kicks the gun away from the suspect. "Do you know how idiotic you are coming into the school without any means of protection." She asks with a scoff as she stares at the woman.

"Shes my family, Athena." She retorts and Athena stares at her, still not pleased with her but doesnt say anything else, instead grabbing her radio.

"I need an RA unit in the west end corridor now." Athena states as she bends down next to them. Victoria starts her compressions again, her eyes moving back to her sister.

"How long has she been down?" Victoria asks curiously. There was a lot of blood, too much blood, surrounding them.

"I-i don't know. Ten minutes?" Rosie stutters back with a sniffle, not having really been able to keep much time. Victoria clenches her jaw, looking at Athena.

"We can't wait." She denies, grabbing a hold of Jennie and picking her up. Athena leads them down the hallway and toward the exit, her arm around Rosie.

"Come on, Jennie. Hold on for me." Victoria mutters as she silently prayed for the girl that laid practically lifeless in her arms. As they get outside, the rest of the team rush over to them.

It was clear they were all nervous but relieved when they saw Victoria and Rosie both seemed to be okay. That was until they saw who the woman was carrying. "Numerous gun shot wounds to the abdomen and chest, I don't know how much blood she's lost but she's been unconscious for the past few minutes and...." Victoria starts to explain as she places Jennie down on the gurney. "i can't get a heartbeat." She denies and Hen instantly starts to do compressions as Chimney digs through his med bag.

"Youre gonna save her, though. You have to save her!" Rosie tells them and Victoria sighs as she turns back to face her sister, placing her hands on the girls shoulders.

"Rosie, we're gonna do our best--"

"No, you have to save her!" She screams back, pushing Victoria slightly as her eyes go back to Jennie. "Jennie!" Hen was continuing to do compressions as Chimney got the machine out to check for her heartbeat.

"I'm not getting a pulse, let's shock her." Hen tells him with a shake of her head. But as Chimney stares at the flatline on the monitor, he felt his stomach twist.

"Wait." Chimney stops Hen who looks back at him. "Shes asystolic." His voice was mellow and sympathetic as his eyes shifted to Victoria. Victoria closed her eyes momentarily, trying to fight back her own tears in order to stay strong for her sister.

"W-what does that mean?" Rosie asks, her eyebrows furrowing as she looks back and forth between them. But they both stayed silent. And when Victoria turned to her, Rosie saw the expression on her face, the pain in her eyes and the guilt. "No." Her words were almost nonexistent, coming out in a breath and she couldnt allow herself to believe it. "N-no!" Shaking her head, she steps back and Victoria tilts her head, reaching her hand out to grab her sisters.

"Rosie--"

Suddenly Rosie slapped Victoria causing everyone to go dead silent. Victoria just stared at the ground momentarily, the stinging of her cheek evident. "You were supposed to save her!" Rosie screams. Victoria doesn't say anything, just grabbing a hold of Rosie's wrists and pulling her towards herself. "You were s-supposed to--" Rosie breaks down as Victoria wraps her arms around her, holding her tightly.

Holding her crying sister, Victoria felt as if everything around her was crumbling once again. She never wanted Rosie to ever have to go through what she did, to lose someone so close to her. Especially to a monster. Especially due to a system that was damaged and the government didn't want to fix.

But here it was. The result of something that no one ever wanted a child to have to go through. That not only took away one life, but the lives of those who cared for her because of the grief and guilt that would quickly consume them.

••••

Authors note; :) waiting room by phoebe bridgers was also playing through my mind writing this.