THE TICKING OF THE CLOCK on the wall was the only thing Chibs heard for a while as he waited for Jax, looking around the living room that was full of memories. Not for Chibs, he had never been here, the men weren't that close friends. Still, he had enjoyed a friendly chat when the Cooper man had helped out at the clubhouse.

But the photos on the walls spoke volumes, showing what a great person Lenny must have been. Everyone who was in photos with him seemed genuinely happy, no fake smiles, no gloomy or grumpy facesᅳ only joy radiated from the pictures.

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he spotted another of Lenny and Jade, the little girl placed on his lap and proudly showing the first tooth she had lostᅳ at least Chibs assumed it was her first, after all Jade was maybe only five in the picture.

At least he could now see where Jade got her kindness from and why Jax fell in love with her back then.

An impatient banging on the door led him from the living room back into the hallway and to the door, which he opened after looking through the peephole.

"Where is she?" Jax, still partly out of breath and with a few strands of hair falling into his face, stormed inside.

"Sit down", the Scotsman insisted calmly while he took the little boy from the seething man and greeted Thomas with a  smile. "Christ, the boy looks jus' like ye'."

"Chibs, please", Jax urged demandingly, serious concern in his tone. With a sigh, he followed the older man into the living room, gently pushing Abel in front of him. "Sit down, buddy. You can play with the toys", he told the boy, who looked around shyly at first.

However, he then quickly crossed the room and sat down in front of the toy box that stood next to the built-in, floor-to-ceiling bookcase. "Can Thommy play with me?"

"Of course." Chibs placed the two-year-old right next to Abel, the sight itself making his heart melt. "I'll talk t' yer dad for a minute, aye? Keep an eye on yer little brother."

"I'll do that", Abel promised with a proud smile that even made Jax smile for a moment, the sight of his sons together still overwhelming; in a good way.

"Come on, sit." Chibs slapped the blonde on the shoulder in a fatherly way and a moment later sat down with him at the dining table, which was also in the living room. "Jade's sleeping, and I think it's better if ye' let her sleep for now."

Jax' face fell in despair, worry and anger still gnawing at him. "What happened, Chibs?"

"I really don't know. But it must've been Tara." Sighing, he leaned back, his hand resting on the table. "All I know is that I haven't seen anyone so bruised and battered in a long time. It was a miracle that she could even walk, Jackie."

Jax' jaw clenched, so hard that Chibs could hear his teeth grinding. Slowly he leaned back, anger ripping through him as he slowly ran his hand down his face.

"And you're sure it was Tara? Did Jade say that?" If that were the case, Jax would believe her without hesitation. Jade was far too kind to plan such intrigues or to get someone who had done nothing into trouble just to get attention.

"No, Jade didn't tell me anythin', so I still don't know what the reason was or how it all happened", Chibs explained calmly, but anger was brewing in the pit of his stomach. "But Tara came out of the garage shortly after Jade, blood dripping from her hands, completely apatheticᅳ and then she said that ye' were hers. So I guess it was because of ye'."

The slight mockery in Chibs' last words only earned a warning look from Jax, followed by a loud exhale as he ran both hands over his tired face again.

"I should've never put her in that situation", Jax stated dryly, his gaze fixed on his sons who were happily playing together, not aware of the problems. "I should've never let her go in the first place", he added, clearly remorseful.

"It was a shitty time, Jax, ye' weren't ready and she understood that." Chibs leaned forward, slightly over the table, and patted Jax' forearm fatherly. "But ye' have a chance to make things right now. If ye' want them with you, make a clean cut with Tara and make sure she leaves yer' family alone."

"Don't worry, I'll make sure of that", he seethed, a dangerous, bitter laugh vibrating through his chest. "Tara won't get away with this. But I need to know exactly what happened first, and as much as I'd love to confront right away, I want to make sure Jade is okay first."

Despite the situation, the slightest smile formed on Chibs' tense features. "Ye' really did love her, didn't ye'?"

"I did", Jax replied, swallowing dryly as he let out a scoff and averted his gaze as if he had to hide tears. "Still do; I guess I just repressed it because I never expected her to come back."

"But she did, even if it was primarily because of her father. She's here now, ye' both made mistakesᅳ it's time t' decide what ye' want before worse happens", he advised the younger man, who was clearly struggling with his emotions.

Anger, worry, desperationᅳ that's what love did to you. "I'll check on the club, you don't have to worry about anything else today. Want me t' take the boys?"

"I know what I want, there's nothing to think about", Jax replied firmly, his piercing blue eyes meeting Chibs' warmer ones. "Thanks brother, I'll take over from here. And no, the boys are staying here, maybe she wants to see Thomas when she wakes up."

"Okay, call if ye' need anything." The chair slid across the dark wooden floor as Chibs stood up and a moment later placed a firm hand on Jax's shoulder, squeezing it. "I patched her up and made sure her face is clean, but the lass should see a doctor tomorrow anyway, Jax."

"Alright, I'll take care of it", the blonde nodded gratefully, the news still weighing heavily on his shoulders as he barely found the motivation to get up, guilt also gnawing on him. He had to let it all sink in for a moment. "Thank you, Chibs, I appreciate your help."

"Anytime, Jackie Boy." After slapping Jax' shoulder, Chibs said goodbye to the boys, already looking forward to getting to know Thommy better in the future, and then left the little family alone.

Even though he would've felt better if he had stayed, he knew that Jax needed a moment to himself to let everything sink in before he'd make sure to clean up the mess.

ᅳ

THE SUN HUNG LOW in the sky, bathing Charming in a deep orange, casting a golden glow into the rooms through the curtains, the rooms dimly lit.

As Chibs had told him, Jax let Jade sleep. In the meantime, he had kept the kids busy and taped off the floor in one of the two guest rooms that Jade wanted to use as her new bedroom, as it was right next to Thomas's bedroom. She wanted to color-drench it in a dark green, which he'd do for her tomorrow.

The house was huge in general, forty years ago people could still afford this, but most people could only dream of it today; which is why he was glad that Jade had decided to keep it.

A part of him couldn't stop imagining what it would be like to live here with her, with their sons. Lenny's room would remain untouched, Jade had already told him that. But then there was Jade's old room and the second guest room, which would have enough space for a room for Abel.

Of course, he knew that this might just be wishful thinking. Who knows how Jade would feel about him after today. Maybe she would even plan to go back to Arizonaᅳ but he'd do everything in his power to convince her to stay.

He wanted her, a family with her; even if they'd take things slowly, he at least wanted a chance.

The kids were in bed by now, Thomas' bed was big enough for both boys to sleep in. Luckily, neither of them noticed the tense atmosphere and had fallen asleep without any problems after dinner, a bath and a story Jax' had read them.

Jax had tried to reach Gemma, wanting to ask where Tara was or if she had heard anything from her, but somehow the woman had avoided every single one of his calls, which was strange for Gemmaᅳ normally she was the one who always answered the phone immediately when he called. But at the end he had just shrugged it off.

So that Jade didn't have any extra work tomorrow, he loaded the dishwasher and turned it on before turning off the light in the kitchen and finally taking off his shoes in the hallway. His kutte and black hoodie were already hanging on a hook next to the door; and again, he liked the look of his stuff here in Jade's house.

Deeply sighing, he shook his head and rubbed his tired eyes with his thumb and forefinger before turning off all the lights downstairs and going upstairs, not without taking a bottle of water and a plate of spaghetti from dinnerᅳ the only thing he could actually cook well.

Jade had to eat and especially drink something, even if he had to wake her up specifically for it.

The Teller man took another quick look into the kids room, smiling weakly when he heard the soft snores of his sons, before he went further down the hall and knocked on Jade's old room. No answer.

Again, a new wave of worry swept through him because she was still sleeping; or maybe she just didn't want to talk. With both hands full, he turned the doorknob with his elbow and quietly entered the room, placing the plate and the water bottle on the nightstand next to the bed, turning on the small lamp.

The bed creaked as he sat down, his muscles tense as he ran his fingers through Jade's long brown hair, her slender figure turned to the wall where her bed stood, covered by the purple blanket she had always loved so much and was over a decade old.

"Jade, hey." His soft voice brushed her ear after he leaned forward, his forehead furrowed in concern. "You need to eat."

"Don't want to", she croaked, definitely awake since a while, her voice too clear. "Thomas okay? Abel?"

"Yeah, the boys are fine. They are fed and are sleeping", Jax assured her, nodding his head weakly as a burst of pain shot through his chest at her fragility. "Can you please talk to me? At least look at me?"

Jade didn't answer, burying her sore face in the soft fabric of the blanket. She wasn't ready for Jax to see her like this, it was already enough that Chibs had seen her like that. She just didn't like that someone, especially a woman, had been able to do this to her, that she couldn't even defend herself.

"Babe please.." Jax sounded almost desperate as he put a hand on her shoulder, ultimately leaving her with no choice. He carefully turned her body around, drawing a deep sigh from Jade, the woman immediately avoiding his gaze.

Jax on the other hand just swallowed, staring at her in shock as he saw how bad Jade really looked, what Tara had done to her just because he had put Jade in this situation. Guilt mixed with anger ripped through him, the deep feeling of wanting to hurt Tara for this growing by the second.

"Holy shit Jade", he croaked, a hint of apology in his tone. "Tara did this?"

The first tears gathered in the corners of Jade's eyes as she stared at the out-dated popcorn ceiling, the shock still sitting deep. "Maybe I deserved it for sleeping with a married man."

"What? No, Jade, that's bullshit." He shook his head vigorously as he brushed some strands of hair from her face, muttering a 'sorry' as he touched a sore spot. "I'm the one she should've taken her anger out on."

"Still, I played with fire and got burned", Jade croaked, her throat dry and scratchy from the dehydration.

Finally, she dared to look at Jax when she heard a sniffling sound, her eyes softening as she saw him quickly wiped his eyes.

It was the guilt he felt towards Jade, the brutal sight. This shit could've ended really badly for the Cooper woman, even fatally if Tara hadn't stopped, and he hated himself for letting it get this far.

"It's not your fault, Jax", she said softly as if she knew exactly what he was thinking, her voice soothing.

She slowly turned to face him and carefully sat up. "What happens now? Iᅳ I don't want to go back to Arizona, not now that I've finally decided to keep the house. Andᅳ" she swallowed quietly, her throat aching with every word as dry as it was. "And Thomas shouldn't be without a father again, I've taken that away from him long enough."

Jax slid closer to her, placing his hand against the side of her neck, sighing as he brushed the hickey on her neck with the pad of his thumb that had probably given them away.

"I wouldn't have let you go back, not again, darlin'", he said firmly, carefully leaning his forehead against hers while trying to bite back his anger for the moment. "I'll call Ally, our lawyer, tomorrow and file for divorce. And then I'll take care of Tara."

"What do you mean? Take care of Tara?" Jade asked with a soft swallow, nervousness creeping up her spine. "Is that biker code for something?"

"Biker code, huh?", the blonde asked, the slightest hint of a grin playing on his lips making Jade roll her eyes.

Almost tenderly, she swatted his arm with the back of her hand, seeking proximity to him as she carefully snuggled up to him.

"I know what your club does, I'm not stupid. I also know that you didn't have blood on your hands before I left but now..", she swallowed softly, wrapping her arms around his waist after he pulled her into his side, his arms holding her close. "You've changed, I can see it in your eyes. They were so cold when you showed up at the motel, so dull and empty. Something must've happened to you."

She knew about Abel's kidnapping, about Piney's and Ope's deaths by now, about the problems with Clay and other things that just mark you over the years. But there was something else, something that had changed Jax so much that he had lost all joy in life.

"I'm not who I was anymore; and I'm not proud of what I've become", he admitted with a sigh, gently pushing her back so he could look at her. "I've killed more people than I want to admit since you leftᅳ and if I have to, if that's the only way I can protect you and my sons, I won't shy away from hurting Tara either."

The scary thing was that saying these words didn't even hurt him. He didn't feel bad, the resentment that they had harbored against each other had slowly been coming to the surface over the last few months. There was no love or affection anymore, probably not even respect anymore. And if there had been any respect left, he had lost it for Tara by now.

"I don't want that", Jade breathed out in shock. That someone would die because of her? She wasn't sure if she could live with that. "Look, she was pissed..Iᅳ I probably would've reacted the same way if I found out my partner was sleeping with another woman."

It was no surprise to her that Jax now had blood on his hands. At some point, everyone did when they were part of the Sons of Anarchy and somehow Jade had always been okay with that, just as she was now as long as no innocent person had to suffer.

"Don't defend her, Jade, not after what she did", Jax told her seriously as he reached for her face, his touch gentle and cautious. "She went too far and there are consequences. I just don't trust herᅳ that won't be the last time she hurt you if you stay in Charming  and I'm not goin' to risk anything happening to you, Thomas or Abel."

"I'm not defending her", Jade corrected him immediately. Defending Tara would be the last thing she would do right now. But the fact was that she would be just as hurt if she were cheated on; somehow she wasn't all innocent either. "Do you really think she would go any further? Tara? The Tara Knowles who couldn't hurt a fly back then and absolutely hated any form of violence?"

Jax shrugged his shoulders, a tired look on his face. "She doesn't have much left to lose, darlin', that's what makes her dangerous."

"Shit." Sighing, the brunette rolled her head back, squinting her eyes as a sharp pain shot through her head. "How did this all end in chaos so quickly? I really wish my dad was here right now, he always knew what to do or say."

And suddenly Jade could no longer keep her composure. A loud sob fell from her lips, her whole body shaking as a river of tears flowed down her cheeks, her features twisted in pain as the salt of the tears touched the open wounds.

Everything seemed to be crashing down on her in this moment. First the loss of her father, then the hatred she got from Tara and Gemma, the audacity that Gemma had used her father's death to lure her to the club only to end up bruised and battered in bed.

The only good thing she had left was Thomas, Jax, maybe even Abel. And Alison, who wasn't here right now and didn't even know about everything that had happened the last two days.

"Hey, come here", Jax murmured sympathetically, pulling the brunette back into his arms, this time without letting go of her. "He would be proud of you, as he always was. Just keep that in mind, darlin'."

Jade's tears soaked his white shirt, even a little blood from the not-quite-closed wounds now, but it didn't bother him. Instead, he cradled her closer to him, his chest aching as she cried bitterly; tears, snot and allᅳ letting out all the pain.

"Here", after a long moment of just letting Jade cry, her body still clinging to his, he plucked a tissue from the tissue holder on the nightstand and handed her one.

"Thanks", the brunette choked out as she pulled away a little and cleaned her face with careful touches. Slowly she calmed down again, huffing and puffing a few more times. "I'm sorry for this, it's been a pretty shitty day."

"Never apologize for how you feel, babe", he said sternly, running his thumb over her cheek. "I'm sorry but I have to ask; how did you even end up at the clubhouse?"

"Funny story", she muttered sarcastically before letting out a dry laugh. "Gemma called me and asked if I could bring a picture of my Dad. Told me she wanted to hang it in the clubhouse because he was a good friend after all. It was just a cheap trap that I fell for", she said bitterly, still annoyed at her own naivety.

"This was planned? And my mom is in on it?" By now the muscles in Jax' jaw were twitching violently, the cold look back in his blue eyes with a mixture of disappointment and betrayal. "They're bothᅳ"

"Jax, stop." This time it was Jade who reached for his face, her warm gaze grounding him a little. "I think she really felt bad that it had come to this. When Tara attacked me, she tried to get in between."

"Jade, enough", Jax warned, shaking his head angrily. "Stop fuckin' defending them. My mom brought you there in the first place, and that will have consequences just as much."

Now he realized why Gemma ignored all his calls, she was probably hiding somewhere, afraid that Jade would snitch on her, and Jax was glad that Jade told him the truth, that was the only way he could act correctly.

"And again, I won't. Believe me, I'd love to beat the shit out of her myself for this, especially for using my dad", the brunette snorted disparagingly, rubbing her thumbs along Jax' jawline, his beard scratchy against her skin. "But I don't think she wanted it to come to that. I understand she's angry, I really screwed upᅳ but that doesn't give her the right to put me in this situation."

"No, it doesn't," Jax spat angrily, pulling the woman in front of him flush against him, her scent calming him down at least a little. "Are you okay being alone here for a few hours?"

"No." Jade shook her head, her eyes wide with a pleading expression as her grip on his face tightened. "Don't leave me alone tonight. I need you here, please."

First, she really needed him, the comfort and consolation that only few people could give her. Her dad, Alison and Jax. The people she trusted the most. Second, she didn't want Jax to do anything he might regret later and get himself into trouble because of her.

"Please stay with me", she repeated in a whisper, her lips almost touching his.

"I'll take care of this, Jade, if not today then tomorrow", he assured her firmly before giving in for tonight, pressing a gentle kiss against the uninjured side of her lips. "Roll over", he murmured into the kiss Jade had returned, no matter how much pain that kiss added to her sore face.

Jade obeyed and slid over so he had enough room to lay down next to her as well, his arm immediately finding its way around her waist. She had always loved being the little spoon, lying in his arms that made her feel safe and stable.

"You need to eat, babe", he croaked against her shoulder with a deep sigh before placing a few gentle kisses on her sun-kissed skin. "You haven't had anything all day."

"Later, okay?", she asked, tiredness kicking back in as she slowly closed her eyes. "Right now, I just want to do nothing, just stayin' in bed like this, with you", she added quietly, her body pressed close to his.

"Okay", Jax muttered as he slid his other arm under her head so he could hold her even better; and he needed this just as much as she did.

Right now, everything could stay the way it was, his boys in the other room, Jade in his arms, a house filled with love instead of tension and resentment.

And tomorrow, he would make sure his future stayed just like that. Peaceful.

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