JADE PLACED A CUP OF COFFEE in front of Serena and also sat down, clutching her own cup tightly. Her sharp gaze fell on Jax and Tara, through the archway from the kitchen to the living room it was no problem to watch them interact.

She hated seeing this, having Tara in her house. Only a few steps away, Olivia was lying on a yellow blanket, Abel and Thomas to her left and right. It was obvious that her sons were completely delighted and curious about the new family member.

Even though they had known that their sons wouldn't yet fully understand the situation, Jax and Jade had decided a few days ago, after the two had let the news sink in themselves, to tell the kids that they had another sister. Keeping it a secret had never been an option, not even for Jade.

"Sweetie, why did you even stay here?" Serena sighed as she reached out to place her hand on Jade's arm, trying to give her the comfort her daughter needed. "You knew it would only hurt you to see them together."

Jade reluctantly averted her gaze from Tara and Jax, bringing the cup of steaming coffee to her lips. "It's just the first drop-off that takes this long because they have to discuss rules, visiting hours and all these kinds of things."

Her gaze crossed the room again, glad that she could watch everything from the kitchen. Jade took a sip from her coffee, forgetting how hot the liquid still was, and almost burned her tongue. Grimacing at the pain, she put the cup down and met her mother's worried gaze a second later.

"What? I'm fine, really", she murmured, earning a 'really' look from her mother. With a slight shrug of her shoulders, the brunette exhaled loudly. "Okay, I'm not. She has no business being hereᅳ but as a mother, I understand, I'd want to talk everything through too."

"I wasn't really the best mother", Serena sighed, an apologetic look in her eyes as she squeezed her daughter's forearm. "But I'd probably do the same. Still, it should stay a one-time thing."

"It will. Jax promised me not to let Tara back into our lives and I believe him." A faint smile tugged at her lips as she heard Abel and Thomas laughing, both busy keeping the little girl busy. "Still strange that there's a third child now."

"You think you'll be able to handle it at some point?" Serena asked cautiously. "I mean, I know it's not easy for you. The news hit you pretty hard."

Jade let out a humorless laugh while letting her face fall into her hands, her elbows resting on the table. "Honestly? I don't know. Luckily, Jax accepts that I can't be around Olivia for nowᅳ but one day I'll have to get over it because I sure as hell don't want to be the cold-hearted stepmom everyone hates."

"Who says that would make you a cold-hearted stepmom?" Shaking her head, Serena frowned and waved her hand. "Olivia belongs to Jax, not you. If you're not ready to accept her yet, that's okay, Jade."

"No, it's not, Mom", she groaned into her hands before falling back against the back of her chair, nervously playing with a pack of cookies that sat on the table. "I accepted Abel too. Hell, I didn't even ask myself whether I could accept him or notᅳ he belonged to Jax and therefore to me. Why the hell isn't it as easy with Olivia? It's basically the same."

"No, it's not. Abel's mother isn't in the picture and has never beaten you up or was trying to ruin your life." Serena leaned forward, her arms crossed on the table. "You don't have a problem with Olivia, but with Tara. It's completely understandable that you can't just accept the girl. Besides, as you say, Abel was already there, the news that Olivia is Jax' daughter came out of nowhere."

Jade took a deep breath, letting her mother's words sink in. "Maybe you're right, but it's still not fair to Olivia. I just can't accept her, not yet."

"And that's okay, Jade, even Jax understands that", the older woman repeated, flashing her daughter an encouraging smile. "Let some time pass. Who knows, maybe in a few weeks it will be easier for you to see the little girl and if not, then it just takes more time."

"You really think so?" Jade chewed on her lip, stealing another glance at Jax and Tara. "I'm just afraid Tara will get him back if I can't accept Olivia fast enough", she admitted, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

With a frown taking over her face, Serena looked over her shoulder and snorted through her nose before she looked at the brunette again. "No, baby, you don't have to worry about that. The two of them seem stiffer than a board. There's nothing between them anymore."

Serena's words actually managed to bring a small smile to Jade's lips. She looked at her mother gratefully, glad that she didn't have to sit here alone. "Thanks that you came. I really needed someone today."

"I told you that I want to make up for my mistakes and that I'm always here for you." Sincerity lingered in Serena's soft voice, the sun shining through the window revealing a faint menacing shimmer in her mother's eyes. "And if that bitch plans something, you can bet that she'll have to face me too."

Jade also leaned forward, smiling mischievously. "I think I can handle her, but thanks. Wanna go for a coffee with Ali and me later?"

Since Olivia would be staying for a few hours today, Jade had made sure to get out once Tara was gone and had called Ali earlier. Firstly, to thank her for being there for her last week and to make another attempt to rebuild their friendship.

Serena's eyes lit up, the joy clearly visible on her face. Some of her red strands fell into her face as she nodded eagerly. "I'd love thatᅳ of course only if Ali is okay with that, too."

"It won't bother her, don't worry", Jade assured before her gaze wandered back to the living room.

The Cooper woman hated how she felt when she looked at Taraᅳ and sadly also when she saw Olivia. Fear, anxiety, even hatred. Well, the hatred was only for Tara, but she still felt guilty for thinking that she didn't want Olivia here.

Sighing, she turned to her coffee in silence, hoping that the feelings would eventually fadeᅳ for Jax' sake.

ᅳ

WHEN JADE ENTERED THE HOUSE, the smell of her favorite Chinese take out dinner mingled in the air. As promised, she was back in time for dinner. She had offered to bring some food but Jax had texted her that he would take care of it.

Jade had barely slipped off her converse sneakers when Abel and Thomas ran towards her, their giggles echoing throughout the house as they clung to her legs.

"Woah, easy boys", she chuckled as she had to hold on to the door frame for a moment to keep her balance. "You had a fun day?"

"Yes mommy", Abel chirped, snuggling up against Jade's right leg as she ran a hand through his hair. "Livy had a fun day, too!"

"Livy? So you already gave her a nickname, huh?" Ignoring the brief stab she felt in her chest, she kept a brave face for her children, smiling down at the boys. "What did you do with Olivia all day?"

"We played a lot", Thommy giggled, jumping up and down on the spot and then holding his arms up, his speech still a little more slurred than Abel's; but the three-year-old was getting better every day. "Up, mommy!"

"That sounds great, buddy." Ruffling his blonde hair, Jade bent her knees a little and scooped Thommy up into her arms, gently nudging Abel toward the living room. "Have you eaten yet?"

"Nope, we were waiting for you." With his signature smile, Jax leaned into the kitchen doorway, extending his arm to pull the brunette closer. "Chinese good with you?"

"Mhm, more than good. Thanks baby", Jade whispered against his lips, stealing a kiss from them before letting out a content hum.

As she tried to pull away, Jax' hand slipped to the back of her neck, not letting go of her as he deepened the kiss a moment longer and then laid his forehead against hers, closing his eyes for a moment with a sigh.

The Cooper woman noticed that something was bothering him and she could only guess what it was. Yesterday he had already opened up and told her that he was afraid of losing her because of the whole Tara/Olivia thing. And even now he still seemed plagued by guilt and other emotions.

"Hey, what's wrong?", she asked softly as she shifted Thommy on her hip . "Did Tara cause problems? Or was it different than you imagined with Olivia?"

"No, none of that." A tired smile was back on his lips, his eyes meeting hers as he rubbed his thumb along her jawline. "You know I love our family, right? Just the way it is, I'm not trying to change anything, babe."

"Jax, we've already been through this." Slowly letting Thomas slide off her hip and back to the floor, Jade tugged on Jax' shirt before pulling him close and planting a gentle kiss against his lips. "I don't mind you seeing your daughterᅳ stop feeling guilty about it."

Jax nodded weakly, inhaling deeply before gently squeezing Jade's hip. "Let's eat, I think we're all hungry."

"Sounds good", she smiled, slipping her arm around his waist after Jax draped his loosely over her shoulders and led her to the table. "Abel, Thomasᅳ come eat!"

The couple shared a chuckle as the boys came running as if they hadn't eaten in days, racing past them and climbing into their chairs; but Jade wouldn't have it any other way.

ᅳ

THE BRUNETTE THREW A POD into the dishwasher before closing it and selecting a program. When the quiet rumbling sounded in the background, she let her gaze wander to Jax as she quickly washed her hands in the sink, watching him slowly blow a cloud of smoke out the window.

He seemed thoughtful, not as confident and cocky as usual, the typical Teller grin replaced by deep lines on his forehead, the corners of his mouth pointing downward.

"You were quiet today", Jade began cautiously as she walked towards him, taking the cigarette that was now hanging between his lips. "What's really goin' on with you, Jax?", she asked before taking a drag herself, inhaling the smoke deeply to let it sit in her lungs for a moment.

"Thought you'd quit smoking", he frowned, although he could imagine why she might need a cigarette right now. "Nothing, really, it's just a lot at the moment. Nothing to worry about, babe."

"I just felt like it", she explained with a shrug, giving him the cigarette back. Rubbing the tip of her nose, Jade narrowed her eyes a little. "But I'm worried, Jax. So, are you talking to me now or not?"

Somewhat hesitantly, Jax' gaze wandered out the window again, watching the empty street. Everything was quiet as the sun just disappeared behind the horizon and cast an orange glow over the neighborhood.

He took a deep breath, taking another drag of his cigarette. "I was just wondering if you might wanna join in the future when Olivia's here, that's all."

With a hint of sorrow in his blue eyes, his gaze fell back onto his Old Lady, a soft sigh falling over his lips as he saw her mood shift instantly, her body taking a defensive stance, and yet he noticed that she was trying to find a factual answer.

"Look, I know we talked about this", he continued as she was about to say something, desperation and frustration flashing in her eyes. "And it's okay if you don't want to or can't. But it feels wrong to do this without you, Jade."

"We talked about this, Jax..please..", Jade murmured, running her fingers through her brown waves. Her chest filled with guilt as she noticed the sadness in Jax' eyes. "What exactly do you expect from me, genuinely asking here, baby. How do you think this is gonna work?"

"I don't know, babe, I really don't know", the blonde sighed. Pulling her towards him by her wrist, he wrapped his arms around her waist, a few strands of his slicked-back hair falling in his flawless face. "But I need you, I wouldn't ask you otherwiseᅳ I need my Old Lady by my side."

"Shit Jax, you can't do that." With a soft groan, Jade let her forehead fall against his chest, her palms resting just a few inches below. If she looked into those damn desperate eyes for a moment longer, she would no longer be able to refuse his wish anyway.

But it was his last words that unsettled her, that made her feel uneasy. Fact was that she was his Old Lady and it was her duty to be just thatᅳ a good Old Lady. And that's what she wanted to be, after all, all she had ever wanted was a family with him.

She couldn't leave him alone now just because she'd feel better if she wouldn't have to face the fact that Jax had another kid.

"I'm sorry, I know how you feel about this." Jax pulled his head back a little, leaning his body back so he could cup Jade's face in his hands. Guilt crossed his features as he realized what he was asking from her. "Just forget what I said, okay? We'll do everything as we discussed, you won't have to see Olivia."

Blinking back a few tears, Jade shook her head, closing her fingers tentatively around his wrists. "No, you're right. Sooner or later I'll have to deal with this and if you need me, I'll be there."

Jax swallowed as he saw the conflict in her eyes, knowing that she was doing this just for him. Could he really ask that of her? "Are you sure about this, babe? It's okayᅳ"

"No, I'm not", she cut him off, her words sounding like a strangled whisper as a lump formed in her throat. "But I'll try my best. I owe it to you as an Old Lady and I really want to be there for you."

"I love you, darlin'." Jax rubbed the tip of her nose with his own before wrapping his arms around her again, pulling her body flush against his. "I promise you it'll be easier than you think. Liv is a sweet girl, you'll like her."

"Yeah, maybe", Jade mumbled, her cheek pressed against his chest as she stared at the picture hanging under the clock in the kitchen. Her father smiled back, bringing fresh tears to her eyesᅳ she could really his advice right now.

As the first tear fell,Jade closed her eyes, wrapping her arms tightly around Jax' waist, as if he could run away at any moment. The scent of his aftershave calmed her, made her feel like everything would be okay. But was it really?

"Thank you for trying", the blonde croaked, planting a kiss against her now slightly tussled hair as he buried a hand in it, cradling the back of her head. "You have no idea how much that means to me, darlin'."

"It's okay", she said softly, her grip tightening a little as she tried to stifle a sob. "You'd do the same for me."

"I would, no matter what it is, I'd do anything for you, Jade." And those weren't meaningless words, that was a promise, his promise to his Old Lady.

And somehow they had to get through this together, because he wouldn't let what he'd already lost slip away again.

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