IMIRA

I have no interest in seeing Prince Rabadash best any of our fighters in combat, still, I must attend the tourney. I'd much rather be making preparations for war, but Peter insisted.

"We have to entertain our guest" "He can't think we are too preoccupied," Blah, blah, blah.

I suppose he's right. Rabadash already knows more than I'd like him to, no need to alert him of just how precarious our situation is. And since it was Peter who extended the invitation that has brought him here, it is only right I attend with him. 

"Try looking less cold," Peter whispers to me as Rabadash and his curved blades enter the arena, receiving cheers from the crowd and some applause from Susan. Oh, he must be loving this. 

"Excuse me if I do not look forward to cheering for the man I wish would loose," 

"Just pretend," he whispers. 

Easier said than done. 

After a few hours and several matches, it all comes down to Prince Rabadash and, wait for it, Eurybe. I've never been prouder of her. Seeing as how Sir Roes was one of the participants I thought she was bound to lose (have you met him? he's huge!), but no. Prince Rabadash managed to defeat him somehow and now it's him against her. Even I was a little impressed by that feat. But before Peter can give the okay for the final match to begin, Prince Rabadash speaks up. 

"Your majesties," he addresses us, "fair lady," he addresses Susan, "for my honour I cannot in good conscience bring myself to fight and purposely bring harm to a woman," 

What's this?! I turn to Peter but he is looking at Rabadash. I turn to Lucy and we exchange a confused look. Edmund looks intrigued, and I cannot assess Susan's reaction because Edmund's blocking her. 

"Which is why if it is her whom I must fight, I must forfeit," 

What?! I'm sorry, but I cannot remain quiet.

"You refuse to fight a knight?" I ask him, careful to keep my tone polite.

"I refuse to fight a lady," Rabadash replies. "I apologize if I offend your honour," he turns to Eurybe, "but mine prevents me from fighting this day. It would go against everything I stand for. I am aware things here in the northern countries may be different, but where I come from it is unheard of, men bringing harm to women for sport. I have seen you would be a most worthy opponent, and I have no doubt our striking of swords would bring great entertainment to all those present, but may Taash strike me down if ever for the sake of pride and personal benefit I find myself causing to any woman. Kight or not,"

I've got to give it to him, that was perfectly well worded. If Susan wasn't impressed by his fighting, she must be impressed by this little speech of his. I know I am. Huh. How about that. Even Alcibe herself looks a little impressed.

"Are you sure?" Peter asks Rabadash.

"I am," 

"Then may everyone bare witness that on this day Prince Rabadash forfeits the match in favour of Sir Eurybe of Choroux," 

"That was anticlimactic," I whisper to Peter as we descend the stairs of the podium from where we were watching the tourney and head for our horses.

"That was smart," he whispers seriously. "He saved both his pride and honour and came out looking even better," he replies, though he does not look very happy. 

Hmm, Rabadash is better at playing the game than I anticipated.

"You think he's winning her over?" I ask, discretely eyeing Susan.

"You tell me. Oh, shhh, here he comes,"

Rabadash approaches, tall and proud, carrying a white rose in his hand. 

"Your Highness," Peter addresses him first, "that was a surprising outcome,"

"I must say, I was not expecting to be facing such an opponent. A warrior women, that is simply unheard of in Calormen. Knight or not, I could never bring myself to do something as dishonourable as causing harm to a lady. Not for all the riches in my lands. I may be a romantic, but I do believe women are to be cherished and protected, not used as battle practice,"

"How very chivalrous of you," I deliver a diplomatic smile along with the line. He nods with a smile of his own.

"Your Majesties," Henry appears from my right, interrupting the little exchange. I stare at him expectantly. "The council,"

"Ah, yes," Peter nods to him dismissively. "You must excuse us," he gestures toward me, "we have an extraordinary council meeting to attend. Please, enjoy the rest of the festivities. We shall meet again at tonight's feast,"

I am certain Rabadash is relieved we are to leave. The less time he has to speak to us, the more he can spend courting Susan and trying to convince her to marry him.

He thanks us, says he will be at the feast, and then Peter and I leave. Only Peter and I. Edmund (like any time someone comes to pursue one of his sisters) stays behind to keep her company along with Lucy and the twins, who will be attending the log toss competition (they are very enthused about it).

I look back as we head for the horses and catch a glimpse of Rabadash handing Susan the rose.

What is she thinking?

PERIDAN

"Susan looks pretty tonight, don't you think?" Queen Lucy comments as I return with the beverages. 

Pretty? Pretty doesn't even begin to comprehend how great her sister looks. Sublime would be a more fitting word. 

"She does," I reply, staring at her from across the room as she dances with Prince Rabadash. A sickening feeling creeps up towards me. A  feeling that can't be held back. It begins to take hold of me, suffocating me. Oh, jealousy, leave me alone!  "As do you," I add as I hand her the cup of wine she requested in an attempt to be less conspicuous. 

She smiles brightly at me and then takes a sip. 

"Who do you think would have won if he hadn't forfeited the combat?" she asks, still looking at her sister and her unsavory suitor. 

"Ah, that's a good question," A welcomed question. Thinking of it helps distract me from the agony that is watching someone I cannot have. "I would like to say Eurybe because the image of him losing to her makes me smile," Queen Lucy giggles. Her laughter is a welcomed, musical sound that helps brighten up the evening, "but he did defeat Sir Roes, so it is hard to say," As much as it pains me to admit it, and no matter my suspicions he may have sort of cheated yesterday in the joust, I am man enough to admit Prince Rabadash is a skilled fighter. "Who does your Majesty think would have won?" 

"I would like to say Eurybe as well, but you make a good point. Sir Roes is very skilled, he just might have defeated her," 

The mental picture of him being named victor most certainly does not bring a smile to my lips. 

If I do not distract myself by making talk I'll go back to staring and glaring and eventually will become too obvious. 

"All I know is that would have made for a memorable tourney. More memorable than a forfeit," I add, taking a big gulp of wine as we continue watching Prince Rabadash and Queen Susan dance. 

"Yes, about that," she turns to face me, "I am conflicted," 

"How so?" I ask, turning my attention to her before I start to glare at the foreign prince. 

"On one hand, I understand why he did it. He did not want to cause Eurybe any harm. But on the other, she is just as capable as the rest. Just because she is a woman does not mean she is not strong enough to face in combat. Is forfeiting a match with a woman cowardly?, or is it honourable?" 

"Hmm. You pose a fair question," A question that has the effect I was hoping for: distraction. Was that cowardly or honourable? I hadn't thought of it, what a good question. 

"And then what about Eurybe's honour? She could have been offended by his refusal to cross swords with her, don't you think?" 

"She very well could have," I agree. She most probably is. She did not win, the title just went to her by default. I doubt that made her very happy, that woman is all about proving herself. "I see your majesty's point. Refusing to fight her simply because she is a woman and loosing to her would bring him embarrassment can certainly be seen as cowardly," I agree. "But defeating her by causing her harm wouldn't be very chivalrous of him either," 

"IIt is a complicated queerie," I say and begin to think of it.  

"Would you have fought her?" Queen Lucy asks after a while. 

"Pardon?" 

"Had you participated and made it to the final round, would you have fought Eurybe?" 

"That's, oh, that is a difficult question. But I think I would have. Yes. Yes, I would have fought her. The participants were all announced publicly. If he wanted to evade crossing swords with a woman he shouldn't have entered," 

"Maybe he underestimated her," she proposes. 

"Well, clearly," I say a bit too bluntly, but she does not seem offended, so I go on. "If I am being honest, I think he simply wanted to impress Queen Susan by being courteous and chivalrous with that little speech he made, but now that we've discussed it, he could have also been trying to avoid the discomfort of losing to a woman. Heir of an empire bested by a female knight at a tourney? That is not a good look. If that was his reason, I'll call it for what it is: cowardice. But if it was indeed as he claims a matter of honour and chivalry, then I suppose he isn't at fault. We will never know what made him forfeit, but I must admit, he worded it right," 

The clever bastard. 

Queen Lucy nods. "My sister was impressed," 

"She was?" Of course she was, why mam I surprised? Every other lady present was, I've been hearing all about it all day long. 

"She thinks he was brave," Queen Lucy says, holding her cup on both hands. "I think brave would have been facing her in combat no matter what others would say, but when you bring up chivalry and honour, it does complicate matters," 

I can only manage a nod because, just as I am about to ask her if she knows if Queen Susan has made up her mind, King Edmund appears before us from the thick of the crowd looking... disturbed. 

"Edmund? What's wrong? You look ghastly," Queen Lucy exclaims. 

"Thanks, Lu. Right back at you," King Edmund grumbles.

"Is there a problem?" I ask him. Perhaps Prince Rabadash did something he shouldn't have. Or maybe he said something distasteful and King Edmund overheard him. Or worse, maybe Queen Susan said yes to him! Oh, dear Lion, please don't let it be the last one.

"There's a situation but," he looks around as if someone might be eavesdropping, which is perfectly plausible, "outside,"

He leads us to the balcony and looks arund to make sure no one followed. 

"Ooh, what a lovely night. Look at the stars," Queen Lucy exclaims as we step out.

"Yes, yes, very pretty. We have a quandary," he presses.

"Go on," Queen Lucy urges, forgetting about the pleasant evening (which, I must say, she is right. It is quite pleasant out here. Not a cloud in the sky and almost a full moon) and getting serious.

"Prince Rabadash just invited Susan to Calormen," King Edmund reveals. 

"What?" I am just... what?!

"Invite her? Whatever for?" Queen Lucy asks looking about as confused as I feel.

"He pressed for an answer and when she said she did not know how she felt about leaving Narnia, he extended an invitation so she can know Calormen. Next week,"

"What did Queen Susan say?" "What did Susan say?" Queen Lucy and I ask at the same time. 

"She said she had to think about it. But after the Prince left, she expressed to me her desire to go,"

"Really? To Calormen? Isn't it awfully hot this time of the year?" Queen Lucy asks the trivial. 

"So she's going?" I ask, nervously.

"I think so. But, honestly, the timing could not be worse. I am supposed to leave with Peter and Imira for the North while you," he looks at his sister, "and Susan stay here and govern. If Susan goes south while we're north, I-I... no, that is unacceptable. Someone has to go with her, she cannot go alone," he looks down at the marble floor and starts pacing. 

"I could go with her and-" Queen Lucy starts to offer.

"-and leave Cair Paravel unprotected? I think not," King Edmund shuts her down.

"I could accompany her," I volunteer. "I am supposed to go north as well, but if your majesties  allow it, I can go," 

"I appreciate the offer, my friend," King Edmund puts a hand on my shoulder, "but she is my sister. No, it is I who must go,"

"But, Edmund, what about the Ettins?" Queen Lucy asks.

"I am sure Peter will agree it is best if I go with her. They won't like it, but if Susan insists on going, I simply must accompany her. She cannot go alone,"

"I don't know, I... I do not think it a wise idea," Queen Imira says, sitting down next to Queen Susan.

The feast was over, the festivities were basically finished, and King Edmund called for a meeting. A meeting to which both Master Tumnus and I were invited to. Perks of being trusted members of court, I suppose.

"Why not?" Queen Susan frowns. She gets this tiny crinkle between her brows when she frowns. Makes me want to smooth it out with my thumb and reassure her everything will be alright. 

"Well, have you made up your mind yet?" Queen Imira asks.

"Not yet," Queen Susan admits.

So there is still hope she'll say no. Interesting. 

"Then why give him false hopes?" she asks.

"They are not false hopes if I am yet to make a decision," Queen Susan points out.

"Susan-"

"No, you got to come here before saying yes to him," she eyes her older brother, "and you knew what it would be like living here. I'd just like the same courtesy," Queen Imira nods and gives up her arguing. As always, Queen Susan is right. Or maybe I'm biased. "I'd like to know what I'd be saying yes to. I have never been to Calormen and I'd like to know what sort of place it is. We have heard varied accounts-"

"Troubling accounts," King Edmund interrupts.

Oh, yes, we've all heard them. Some we know to be true, "I hear they eat fauns there," Master Tumnus says all matter-of-factly. Others we do not know if they are merely tales to frighten children or if there is indeed truth behind them. 

"Oh, Master Tumnus, don't be silly. They don't eat fauns," Lucy says, amused, trying to reassure her friend.

"I am just saying what I've heard," he picks up his cuppa tea.

"And I have heard they eat mermaids," King Edmund adds, very seriously.

Oof, mermaids. Touchy subject with King Edmund.

"Diverse accounts of what it is like," Queen Susan continues. "Before I agree or disagree with anything, I would like to know what's a myth from what's truth and make up my own mind,"

I may not want her to go and say yes to him, but her argument is very reasonable, and if that is what she wants, then I shall do my best to support her.

"So your doubts lie more in the place than in the person?" King Peter asks, crossing his arms before him.

"If it is as everyone says then I, of course, have my objections. But don't you find the accounts to be a bit outlandish? Prince Rabadash has been nothing but polite in his time here," she eyes her siblings. "He has expressed no desire in eating anyone," she turns to Master Tumnus, who suddenly seems very interested in the design of his teacup, "and he has behaved like nothing but a gentleman,"

Listening to her defend him like so pains me, like a dagger to the heart being twisted with every word that comes in his defence. 

I need to get over this. 

"Of course he has behaved like such, he is trying to impress you!" King Edmund says a bit louder than he probably intended to.

"Then an even greater reason why I should go," Queen Susan turns to look up at him. "I would like to know just how he behaves in his own court. What his people think of him. If there is a reason I should say no to him, I should like to know it,"

If I were to tell her how I feel, would that be reason enough?

"And you think going to Calormen would help you make up your mind?" King Peter asks.

"I do,"

No, it's probably stupid. It is a stupid idea. I should say nothing. I should keep my mouth shut and be a good friend.

"Very well then, if that is what you want," King Peter says.

"It is. And I know it complicates matters. You most certainly can't go, but if Edmund could accompany me..." she turns to him.

"Of course I shall," King Edmund reassures her, "I would never let you go alone,"

"You will? Oh, thank you, Edmund," she exclaims, relieved and reaches out to squeeze his hand.

Had King Edmund not decided so earlier and agreed when I volunteered, would mine be the hand she'd be holding?

Agh, shut up, Peridan! She does not fancy you, she fancies Rabadash.

She fancies him, not me. She fancies him, not me and I am in agony every time I think of it.

"That is an excellent idea," King Peter nods. "I would feel much better knowing Edmund was with you. It would mean leaving Cair Paravel in your hands, Lu," he turns to her, "but if you have no objections..."

I do not fancy Queen Susan. I do not fancy Queen Susan.

"None at all. I agree. Susan should not go alone and Edmund accompanying her makes the most sense," Queen Lucy says.

Everyone nods and agrees and then King Peter does the most unexpected thing. He turns to me.

"Lord Peridan, you should go as well,"

"I should?" He thinks I should accompany his sister?

"Unless you have an objection," 

"No, I'd be honoured, Your Majesties," I reply and catch sight of Queen Susan's smile.

I love you.

Agh, I've got to stop. This is not healthy.

"We must send a diplomatic party with the Queen. Ideally one with a large guard," Yes. I agree. The larger, the better. King Peter continues, "but I am afraid with the upcoming conflict we are short on swords to spare. You are one of our most skilled warriors," ah, so he wants me for her protection. I can get on board with that. "not to mention one of our most trusted friends and well-regarded members of the court. I think you should be one of the members of this party,"

I nod, thankful he holds me in such high regard. I mean, I know it, but hearing my stance here has not changed is reassuring. And just looking at the way Queen Susan is smiling at me, it is as if the words had just come from herself.

And here I am again going down the same pointless path. I do not fancy her, I do NOT fancy her, I repeat again and again trying to convince myself of an obvious lie. 

"I agree," King Edmund concurs. "I trust no one outside the family better than you with my back," I nod in acknowledgement of the compliment and in thanks. "And I think Master Tumnus should come as well,"

"Me?" the faun asks, nearly dropping the teacup.

"Oh, do not worry, Master Tumnus. I am sure no one will eat you," Queen Lucy reassures him, I can see she is amused.

"As long as you stay with the group," Queen Imira adds with a smirk, making Queen Lucy laugh. 

I try my best not to do the same, but Queen Lucy's laughter is contagious and it proves impossible not to join in. I manage to catch King Peter's attention and I pretend to have a cough, but I don't think he buys it.

King Peter shakes his head at us, but it is evident he found the comment amusing. "Ed, can you figure out-"

"-the details of this venture? I'm on it," King Edmund stands up at once, not needing for King Peter to finish to know what he was about to ask of him. "Peridan and I will sort it all out," Oh. Alright. I suppose I will. "You just focus on defeating the Ettins, we'll figure everything else," 

King Edmund, Master Tumnus and I leave and begin to come up with a list of candidates to accompany us on this mission. We narrow it down to Lords Launce, Iames, Ansoul, and Percheval, the raven Sallowpad, and the dwarves Thallorbronks and Rignonks.

Master Tumnus leaves nearing midnight, but I remain talking with King Edmund.

"I just hope he truly likes her," he says as I pour us some more wine.

"Isn't that much evident? I'd say the question is whether she likes him or not,"

But she shakes her head as I hand him his cup.

"The only reason he sent his ambassadors asking for her hand is that he heard she is beautiful. The way she looks is the primal motive behind his visit. If she were bald or cross-eyed, I doubt neither he nor the others that have come before him would have shown any interest in her,"

"Most likely," I agree with him. 

"His intentions are only honourable in that he wishes to marry her. But if you ask yourself why he wishes to do so," he empties his cup and slams it on the table, "well, his motives are not so honourable then, are they?"

"I don't think I am drunk enough for this conversation," I reply, staring at my half-empty cup, looking up only when I hear King Edmund snort at my comment. 

"I am afraid what my sister possesses in beauty, she lacks in her tase for men," he says, standing up heavily and heading for a refill. 

I raise my cup to him. "I'll drink to that,"