A/n: GUESS WHO BACK 🤪🤪 i was wondering of yall want full on smut?

Sad eyes and I headed up to Cesars place. He opens the door and sees us, letting us in. I put my bag on the bed and sat down. I couldn't stop thinking about Ruby. Why was I such a bitch?

"This shit aint ever gonna jam." Sad eyes hands Cesar a gun. He checks it out. "I rode with your brothers. I'd ride with you both." Sad eyes heads to the door. We both nod.

"I know you would, but im good." Cesar tells him. Sad eyes looks at me.

"Thanks." I coughed. There was a knock on the door. Cesar and I jumped up. I pulled out my gun and we head to the door. Sad eyes pushes me behind him.

"Cesar!" Ruby called out. I let our a shaky breath and hid my gun again in my shorts. Cesar opens the door and clears his throat. Ruby, Monse and Jamal came. Ruby looked at me, i just looked down. I felt sick, the way I hurt him. Sad Eyes pats my shoulder and left. Cesar pulls Ruby in and closes the door behind Jamal.

"You guys shouldn't be here."

"Wrong." Monse said. "We're exactly where we need to be."

"Monse, this isn't a joke."

"Cuchillos picked us because we found the Rollerworld money, took down the Prophets and we're smart."

"And we have a plan to take her out." Ruby said.

"A plan? Do you know who you are talking about?" I told him. I couldn't be here. The air was too thick. "I need some air." I left the room. I jogged down the stairs and threw up in a trash can. I know this isn't going to end well. The gun im carrying scares me. Am I really going to kill someone? Is that who I am now? I heard someone vomit. It was Jamal. "Ey, you good?" I walked up to him, sitting down next to him.

"Just the usual." I nodded my head. Jamal started to ramble to me about the plan. It was a good plan, the only plan. "What you think?" Ruby comes up. We both looked at each other. I looked away from him, hiding myself with my hair. I cant let Ruby go through this. He deserves better. I don't want him to do this.

"Imma go get something to drink." I stood up, walking down to the vending machine. I got myself a soda. I watched Ruby and Jamal talk. Cesar tosses me my bag and I put on a sweater. We headed to Jamal and Ruby were at.

"Its time." My stomach was turning. Never in my life I would've thought we had to kill someone. Ruby pulls out the phone.

"Once we do this, there's no turning back." Headlights blinded us. We got scared. Was it Cuchillos? Did she find us already? Cesar walks up to the car, he was given a piece of paper and two phones. I ran up to Cesar and he gave me a phone. It was Willys. "What is that?" Everyone came to us.

"Its Oscar and Willy phones." I gulped. I cant think that. Willy cant be dead. I snatched the piece of paper from Cesar, reading it. Its a location. They probably have them there.

"We need to head out." We all tried to hitchhike. We found one, taking us almost 4 hours up. I had to sit next Ruby the whole ride. It was awkward. We finally made it to our location, gave the man money for his troubles and looked at the woods. We walk some more, inside the woods. I walked with Jamal.

"How do we know which way to go?" Jamal licks his finger and pointed up.

"Whats that gonna get us?"

"If you pay attention...nature speaks." Here we go.

"As do paths." Cesar said. "The homies say there's always a path. So if you ever have to dispose of something and find it again, you always can."

"Thats some morbid shit."

"We have to go in deep. Bodies are never buried in the highway."

"What if it's off the path?"

"We'll still see something." We found a trail, we walked more and more into the woods. Following Cesar. I tried to look around but found nothing out of the ordinary. We passed a river, i almost tripped, Ruby caught me. I held onto his jacket. He wrapped his arms around me. We locked eyes. I looked away and let him go. I was walking by myself, as Monse and Cesar walked together and Jamal and Ruby. What if I die? I won't see my dad. I wont be able to experience go to college. I won't see Luis grow up.

Jamal started to roar, calling out into the woods. It was really pissing me off. I've been hearing him do that for the past hour. I was going to snap. Cesar threw a rock at him.

"What the hell is that for!?"

"You are driving me crazy." Cesar growl.

"And he's not the only one." I crossed my arms.

"The growl is to alert the animals of our presence."

"Well, you're making too much noise. And if someone is still out here, you are going to lead them here." I pointed into the woods.

"This is mountain lion territory, and the higher we het, the more probable an attack becomes. Which hopefully doesn't happen since im using my homemade death spritz." He pulls out a bottle, spraying away. "Which makes us smell toxic to the predators. Thats aposematism 101. Look it up."

"Fine!" Cesar was getting annoyed. "You can keep the spray. Lose the growl." We turned back, walking more again. We heard Jamal and Ruby arguing about a stupid snack.

"Give him the stupid fruit by the foot!" I snapped. I was done.

"You need to stop, don't you forgot the reason why we are here?" Monse headed back. Here we go.

"Jamal is being selfish."

"Im being selfish? Which one of us found the rollerworld money, and then gave it away to save a friend? I am the most selfless person i know!"

"Dont get all high and mighty. If we would've never found the money, if Cuchillos wouldn't be breathing down our necks." Cesar and I looked at each other.

"Im going to kill them." We headed back to them. The closer we go, the more arguing we heard.

"Hey! Hey! I never asked for help." Cesar said we we made it. "Then or now. I cant believe how selfish you all are being when my brother and Willy, who we're trying to protect all of us, is now probably dead because of us!" He yelled at them. It broke me when he said they are probably dead. Should I start believing that? Everyone stayed quiet. "You know what? Just go home."

"Lets go." Cesar pulls me.

"You're acting like you're the only person who ever lost anything or anyone." Ruby stops us. "You're not the only person who almost died, or saw a friend choke on their own blood, or took months to feel semi normal because normal is not something I'll get to be. This isn't about you Cesar. Some of us are collateral damage in your shit." Cesar pushes Ruby.

"I dont need this disrespect."

"Whoa! You don't get it. Just being your friend is a liability." Jamal joins in.

"Then don't be." Cesar backs up. They looked me now.

"You don't get it don't you?" I snapped. "You all have people that love you. A mom, a dad, siblings. What do me and Cesar have? Our brothers. If they are dead, we have nobody. You all will be missed by them, and us? The only people that will miss us will be dead." Monse held me back. "Sorry if this too much. We're just hoping we won't find their bodies." I shoved her off of me.

"Hey! Lets not go there." Monse tried to calm us down.

"But we're there. Look in the mirror, and remember who you are. Cause we dont work for you. We arent the Santos. Theres no hierarchy in our friendship where we owe you respect. You want respect? Go hang out with those dudes on your front porch." Cesar turns around. "But real friends call you on your shit."

"Leave. I release you. I don't want to be anybody's liability." Cesar and I turn again and walked. "You leave too." I scuffed.

"Me? You're not the only person that lost someone Cesar. So stop acting like it."

"You really want to go there?" We got in each others faces. "I don't want you to slow me down." I faked a laugh.

"Slow you down? Last time I checked, you slow us down the moment you became a Santo. I don't need your input Diaz." I shoved him.

"Don't fool yourself Valeria. Hell, you don't even fool us. You act all tough, but you know, deep down you are a stuck up bitch who has mommy and daddy issues." My nose twitched. Keep it coming Cesar, lets see what you got. "No wonder why it was so easy for you to fall in love with Carlos. Maybe your dad was so sick of you, the only way to get away from you is to fake his death." I slapped him across the face. Monse came back, she stood there in shock.

"Dont you ever say that again." I wanted to cry. "Why am I friends with you in the first place? You are such a bad friend. I can do way better." I started to go my own way.

"You're just mad that I called you out. Nobody likes a crybaby Valeria. When this is over, you're probably gonna to run back to being a bitch and mess up your life."

"Why won't you stay here for a couple of hours, and think about what you just said. Hey! Maybe a bear will eat you!" Monse runs to me, she dragged me back to Cesar. "Let me go Monse!" I got her off of me.

"What Cesar said, he didn't mean it."

"Stop defending him! God Monse! Why do you care? You're gonna leave us and we're still going have to deal with shit." She frowns.

"You're just upset that Ruby and you are done." Did she just?

"Don't you dare bring him into this. I care about Ruby, and I had to let him go because I can't lose him. You are such a bad friend Monse." She backs up.

"Me? Im a bad friend?"

"Yes! You call us out and when we call you out, you think its the baddest thing in the world. Im just sick and tired of sitting back and taking it. Grow up, Monse."

"You first!"

"I had to grow up because I had no choice. Not like you guys." We heard rustling. Ruby, Jamal and Cesar came running in. We stopped. We heard more rustling.

"What if its 19th street?"

"What if its p-22?" We looked at Jamal.

"Who?"

"The mountain lions." Oh here we go again with the stupid mountain lions. "This is why we growl."

"You said they come after everything you love. What if they are following us?"

"What if its trap?" I turned to them.

"If they wanted to kill us, They would've killed us already. Trust me."

"Sending me and Valeria to Oscar and Willys graves is worse than killing us. They're torturing us." We jumped from the phone ringing. Cesar answered. "Dad?" I looked away.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I asked him.

"I will... once i know what I'm telling him. Lets keep moving." We started again.