EVERYONE was gathered around Jake and Amy's desks. They were discussing the best cop movies. Luna rolled her eyes knowing they didn't understand true art

"For the last time, the best cops movies, in order: Training Day, Lethal Weapon, and Fargo. End of discussion" Amy said

"Wrong. Die Hard is the best cops movie of all time. One cop heroically saving the day while everyone else stands around and watches. It's the story of my life" Jake said

"Shut up, Jake. The best cop movie is clearly Rush Hour" Luna said crossing her arms

"Actually it's Paul Blart: Mall Cop" Dylan said with a grin

"I'm so disowning you" Jake said in disgust making Dylan flip off Jake

"I like Turner and Hooch. Tom Hanks, reluctant friendship with a dog. That hits me where I live" Charles said

"No. Robocop. It's got everything I like, gratuitous violence" Rosa said

"Oh, I thought you were listing things" Jake said

"I was. I'm done" Rosa said

"Okay" Jake said

"Let's talk Bad Boys. That's the perfect cop movie. Mr. Smith, lookin' fine. A hot cup of Tea Leoni. Come on" Gina said

"So real girl" Luna said earning a look from Dylan

"Francois Truffaut's Breathless" Terry said making everyone give him a look. "What? Terry likes foreign films"

"Okay, there is a correct answer to this question, though. So gather around for the greatest cop film of all time. Please refrain from texting during our presentation" Jake said as Luna wheeled her rolly chair closer to Jake's desk so she could watch on the computer. Everyone gathered around and a hand was placed on Jake's desk, right in front of her. She turned to see who it belonged to, and of course it was Dylan, leaning over to watch. His arms looked so good from this angle

"Excuse me, ma'am" Hitchcock said. There was a group of three women talking

"All right, so there's Hitchcock. And there's an old hooker" Jake narrated. The red headed woman kicked Hitchcock in the nuts before the girls ran off. "There it is!"

Luna cackled as did everyone else

"What an idiot" Luna giggled

"Come on, guys, that happened four years ago" Hitchcock said

"Shh. This is the best part. She comes back. Takes the wallet and here she goes!" Jake said as the woman took Hitchcock's wallet and then kicked him in the nuts again. Everyone groaned before laughing

────────────

IT was now time for the morning briefing. Luna was currently sending memes back and forth with Gina. Dylan was beside her drinking his morning coffee

"Hey, love the sweater" Jake told Charles. It was an ugly sweater. Jake was not a good friend. "Who you slayin' tonight, lady killer?"

"Well, we shall see what we shall see" Charles said

"No, you're dressed exactly like the lady killer" Jake said before pointing to the photo that read

WANTED
BY THE FBI
Suspect in Multiple Murders
DEAN HOLLAND
AKA
"THE LADY KILLER"

"Damn it! This is Jeffrey Dahmer's corduroys all over again" Charles whined

"All right, let's get started. Scully. Where are you on digitizing the old case files?" Terry asked. Luna set her phone down so she could pay attention

"As of yesterday, I'm officially 1% done" Scully said as he held two thumbs up

"Why are you smiling? That's nothin'" Terry said

"He's a simple minded man. Just let him be happy" Luna said before grabbing Dylan's coffee and drinking it. Dylan gave her a 'that's my fucking coffee' look before rolling his eyes and not bothering to say anything. However the slightest smile crossed his lips, but it was gone just as it appeared

"Luna's right. There are thousands of cases, and for each one, I have to fill out 200 little box thingies on 50 different screens" Scully said

"At least you get to sit on your butt all day" Rosa said

"That's actually the worst part. My doctor said I have an anal canyon" Scully said causing Luna to spit out her- Dylan's coffee all over the back of Jake's head

"What the fuck?!" Jake yelled as he turned around. Luna just stared at him before giving Dylan his coffee back

"It was him" Luna pointed at the man. Jake flipped her off

"I have to change now, thanks a lot" Jake glared

"Peralta, where are we on the Adams Street burglary?" Holt asked

"We are very close, Captain. Aside from a complete absence of evidence, suspects, or leads. So, in conclusion, not at all close" Jake said with a smile

"And then Vickers Street aggravated assault?" Holt asked

"Stalled out, and the Calloway robbery also remains unsolved.. due to a lack of solving it by me" Jake said

"Sounds like someone's in a little bit of a slump" Gina said as she turned around to look at Jake

"I'm not in a slump" Jake said

"No, you're definitely in a slump" Dylan said

"No one asked you Dill Pickle" Jake said as he glared at his cousin

"I mean the scoreboard kinda says it all" Amy said as she pointed at it. It was currently 35-44

"I don't slump, people. I opposite slump. I p-muls. That's 'slump' backwards, and it's what I do. I p-muls all over this bitch" Jake said

"Dismissed" Terry said

"P-muls? Fucking dork" Luna said as she got up

"Hey, you still owe me a new shirt" Jake said

"I actually have something for you" Luna said making Jake's eyes sparkle

"A present? What is it?" Jake asked. Luna pretended to pull something out of her pocket only to flip him off

"Nevermind it was just my finger" Luna said with a smile. Jake glared at her

"I will destroy you" Jake said

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

LUNA was currently eating her lunch. She had made tuna pasta with apples, celery, and mayo. She was so happy that she was having a peaceful lunch

"Tuna pasta.. yum" Dylan said as he sat down beside her and began eating his peanut butter and jelly

"Say that anymore sarcastically why don't you?" Luna said with a look. Dylan smiled at her with that stupid perfect smile he had

"I didn't mean anything by it. I'm not a fan of tuna" Dylan said

"Good thing I didn't make it for you" Luna replied with a sweet smile that only made Dylan's grin grow wider

"You ever gonna stop treating me like the enemy?" Dylan asked as he rested his chin on his fist while he stared at her

"No, because" Luna began as she flicked Dylan's forehead making the man frown as he rubbed his forehead. "You are related to Jake therefore you are the enemy"

Dylan watched as she got up and took her food elsewhere. He hated seeing her go, but he sure did love watching her leave. A big grin on his face as he stared at her

"Um, why are you making goo-goo eyes at my mortal enemy?" Jake asked as he sat down beside Dylan. The blue eyed man looked at his cousin with a raised brow

"I am not looking at Luna with 'goo-goo' eyes" Dylan responded

"Right.. and my last name isn't Peralta" Jake replied

"I'm serious. She just intrigues me" Dylan said

"I don't care what she does to you. You cannot date her. Under no circumstances can you do that to me. You can't betray me and sleep with the enemy" Jake said. Dylan's eyes widened

"Woah, woah. Relax, Jay.. I'm not gonna date her let alone sleep with her. Jeez you're kind of extreme. I just said she was interesting, that's all. I want to be her friend. I want to be friends with everyone here" Dylan said

"Right.." Jake said with narrowed eyes

・・・・・

"NO, you don't get it, I mean this man wa-anted me. He couldn't get enough of Gina, and I don't blame him. Too bad, he wasn't my type" Gina explained

"You are so picky with your men" Luna said

"Well, not just anyone can have a taste of muah" Gina said as she gestured to herself making Luna smile

"Hi, Rosa. Ooh, I like your shoes. They're really pretty-" Amy was cut off

"What do you need?" Rosa asked with a bored look

"Color. Okay. You know how, every year, the precinct does that junior police program seminar?" Amy asked which made Gina's head perk up. Luna turned so she could continue eavesdropping

"That thing where we try to get a bunch of loser kids to become student snitches?" Rosa asked

"No, the thing where we try to get at-risk kids.." Amy said

"Losers" Rosa corrected making Luna chuckle

"To sign up to become junior police officers" Amy said

"Snitches. What about it?" Rosa asked

"Captain specifically asked me to run it this year. I signed you up to do it with me. Here's the info" Amy said handing, a now angry Rosa a paper

"Now I gotta read something?" Rosa asked annoyed. Gina got out of her chair and approached. Luna stayed where she was watching the interaction

"Greetings. Fine. I guess I can help with those at-risk kids" Gina said which Amy scoffed in response

"I don't need your help. It's nothing personal, it's just.. you're not a cop, so I'm not really sure you could help" Amy said which made Luna purse her lips

"Okay. No hard feelings. But I hate you. Not joking. Bye" Gina said before walking away and going back to her desk

"You hate them?" Luna asked with a raised eyebrow

"Yes. How dare they dismiss me?" Gina asked as she sat down and went back on her phone

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ 🎕 ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

LUNA was in the break room with the group as she ate Amy's snacks without Amy knowing

"Oh, cool. You're all here in the break room" Jake said

"You asked us to come in here" Rosa said

"What?" Jake asked with a high pitched tone

"Don't play dumb" Luna said

"Here's a hypothetical question. Let's say I knew that, for the first time in their career, was experiencing like, a minor slump. What do you think you would suggest to that person if they were going through that?" Jake asked

"Well, I haven't really been in a slump since my divorce. So I'd tell this person, 'maybe get divorced.' He'd have to get married first" Charles said making Luna face palm

"Okay, so the suggestion to beat is get married and the divorced. Lulu?" Jake asked

"Clear your mind, take some time off" Luna said

"You're just saying that so I'd- I mean this guy would be gone" Jake said with narrowed eyes. Luna sighed

"You're completely right" Luna said with a smile

"Okay. Rosa?" Jake asked

"Fly to Montreal, hit a classy hotel bar, bone a stranger, slump over" Rosa said

"That sounds amazing" Jake said

"Yeah" Rosa said with a smirk

"That's a good one. Dillie, what would you do?" Jake asked

"I don't know, I've never been in a slump" Dylan replied

"Okay, asshat.. Sarge, what about you?" Jake asked

"10,000 sit-ups" Terry replied. Luna couldn't understand how one had a lifestyle like Terry's. He talked about 10k sit ups like it was Tuesday. How did he have the time for that?

"Okay, do you have a backup plan in case my hypothetical person can only do 9,500 or 3?" Jake asked

"What's going on in here?" Holt asked as he entered the break room

"We're helping Jake's friend get out of his slump" Charles said. Jake began signaling Charles to shut up

"Or try working a case until it's solved, Peralta. I always find that closing cases is the best way to end a slump" Holt said before leaving

"Thank you, Captain!" Jake said with a smile before he covered his face

"He's right. You just need a win. Pick your easiest, no-brainer case, and work it till it's done" Terry said

"Fine! Right after I do Rosa's Montreal sex thing. That sounds fun" Jake said

"Yeah" Rosa said with a grin

꩜ ‧.°. 𖦹.°.‧ ꩜‧.°.𖦹 .°.‧

LUNA watched as Jake left the men's bathroom, absolutely soaked. She couldn't help but laugh which got Dylan's attention. He looked up and saw Jake

"What the hell did you do? Fight with the urinal?" Dylan asked

"I broke it" Jake replied as he waddled since his clothes were soaked

"I've got clothes in my locker" Dylan said as he got up

"Thank you, Dill Pickle, you are my hero" Jake said as he clapped his hands together

"Of course Blue Jay" Dylan said with a smile as he left. Luna took out her phone and began snapping photos of Jake

"Hey, stop that!" Jake said

"No, no.. I'm so sending these to Gina" Luna said laughing

"Evil! You are evil!" Jake whined

"No, you're evil-" Luna was cut off

"Here, doofus. Try not to break any more urinals" Dylan said as he tossed Jake some clothes

˗ˏˋ★‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

LUNA was taking yet another snack break. Those goldfish were not gonna eat themselves. People left all kinds of delicious food. She now understood why Gina never brought her own snacks, she just ate everyone else's. And damn if Luna didn't want to start doing the same

"I don't know how to connect with these kids. They're mean and shallow and respect nothing. I mean, what kind of person would they even listen to?" Amy asked

"Hitchcock, stop bringing your food in little Tupperware containers. It hurts my fingers when I'm trying to open it" Gina said

"Sorry!" Hitchcock yelled back

"You know, Gina would probably do really well with those k-" Luna was cut off

"Already thinking that" Amy said as she and Rosa stood up and approached Gina

"Hey, Gina. That's a super cute-" Amy was cut off

"What do you want?" Gina asked

"Sweater. Okay. Rosa and I think it would be great if you talked to the kids" Amy said

"Mm, I thought only cops could help. Wouldn't you want to recruit Luna?" Gina asked

"Hell no, don't you bring me into this" Luna said

"Juat saying. Well, cops are the worst" Gina said

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

DYLAN was currently in the bathroom with Charles and Jake. The clothes that Jake was wearing made him look small, considering not only that Dylan had two inches on Jake, but he was also much more.. muscular..

"So, why the hell am I in the broken bathroom?" Dylan asked

"I'm not allowed to leave my desk, so we're meeting in here" Jake said

"What fo-" Dylan was cut off

"So what you're saying is that this is kind of a-" Charles was also cut off

"No, for the last time, Charles, we don't need a clubhouse" Jake said

"Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" Dylan said

"Shut up. Anyway I need you to make these calls for me. Don't let Holt see either of you. But if my hunch is right, this slump is over. Come through for me, boys" Jake said as he handed both of them a piece of paper with numbers on it

"Yeah.. okay" Dylan said with a smile before walking out

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

LUNA decided she wanted to watch Gina talk to the kids. Gina did have a way with words after all. Plus, she had nothing better to do

"Children, your problem is not that you're troubled or at-risk or bad dressers. Is that a trucker hat? Still? Come on. Your problem.. is that you don't have passion for anything. My life turned around when I found my passion. And today, we'll, I hope to inspire you with it" Gina said before turning on some music. Beautiful by Christina Aguilera was playing. Gina began dancing and Luna began recording it

"Go bitch go!" Luna cheered. Eventually Gina finished her dance and was smiling

"What are we thinking?" Gina asked. The girl with blue highlights raised her hand. "Yes, in the denim"

"I think I speak for everyone when I say your weird dancing was just weird" She said

"Fine. Cops make 52,000 a year. You never have to stop at a red light. And you get to carry a gun. Who wants in?" Gina asked. People began raising their hands. "Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Yes"

"Oh, my God. You got eight kids to sign up. How did you know that would work?" Amy asked

"That's what made me sign up when I was a kid" Gina said

"You were in this program?" Luna asked with a smile

"Yep. It does not work" Gina replied

(2764 words)
11/23/24