A Step Further

Months later, 1944

"Didi, any plan for tomorrow?" Chanchal whispered to Faajal who fixed her gaze down. 

"Have you ever seen any celebration for our birthday?" she spat facts on the younger. People might call her lucky to have been born on the 14th of February but she wasn't. She spent her life immersed in the shadow of lovelessness and agony. 

Chanchal fetched a bowl from the side table. "What's that?" inquired Faajal, leaning closer to have a vivid look. "Mehendi." the younger chimed.

Faajal inhaled a hiss, vexed at the hopeful young girl. "Why you need to do that?" 

"I want to give my didi something." Chanchal moulded a ball in her fingers and shaped it around Faajal's finger. One by one, each fingertip was coated with dark brown paste. Chanchal rolled another ball and pressed it on her palm. She pushed the edges back to smoothen the circle. "Yusuf bhaiya ke naam pe," she mumbled, her lips twitched in a crooked grin.

Faajal fired a fearsome glare before moving her eyes to the mehendi. A sheer lustre shaded on their faces; the moon flared full tonight. Chanchal kept aside the bowl. "Have a good sleep, didi."

"You too, keeping aside these useless thoughts." 

They buried themselves under their shared blanket—the chilly gale of February bit into her bones.  

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

In the morning, 

Faajal washed the congealed paste off her hand. Her hand was now stained with a bright orange. She rummaged in the cupboard for some colourful attire. All of her kameezes seemed too bland or dry to put on. On this special day, she hoped to wear some colours. Lastly, her eyes fell on the azure kameez dangling in the corner. It was an old present, given by her mother. Still, the glitters and the dye didn't fade. She slipped into that and added some mild touches to match the charm of her attire.   

Gurbani was engaged in preparing breakfast when Faajal peeped inside. "Ma, are you done?" 

"Not, yet. Faajal, can you stir it a bit?" 

Faajal came and churned the thick mixture of suji. Yusuf adored suji as he once admitted. So, today, she asked Gurbani to cook it. The strong aroma of sugar and wheat slithered through her nostrils, tempting her to taste a lick. She peeked at Gurbani who poured all her focus into chopping vegetables and picked a fingerful of the dense paste. Sweet and savoury. Yusuf and she shared the same tastebuds. So, there was a little chance he wouldn't feast on it. 

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

In the studio,

"Janamdin Mubarak ho, Faajal." a makeup artist wished as Faajal passed the corridor. "Thank you, Bharti." Faajal flashed a smile. 

Some of her co-actors wished her and conveyed well wishes. But, her heart anticipated for that particular person. A word from his mouth would endow her with a million of a lifetime. Ravinder seemed indifferent despite knowing the reason for her fairer appearance. She didn't mind his demeanour; he was the person she expected a wish from the least. 

Lunchtime ticked on the clock

Faajal thanked Waheguru as Ravinder declared he would be late to return. She unzipped her bag and pulled out the suji. The catchy aroma still protruded from the box. She veiled the box under her dupatta and wandered to Yusuf's hall.

She alarmingly strode on her way when a slight tap stunned her from behind.  She spun to witness two blue orbs glistening at her. "You?" she let out a sharp exhale.

He dragged her to a deserted corner. "Did so much makeup today, huh?" he jeered. 

"It's my birthday." 

Gone was his teasing manner when a smile shone across his face. "Mera taufa kaha hai?" she pouted, stretching her hand. 

He exclaimed, "Main toh bhool hi gaya." 

She saw him suppressing the curve on the side of his lips and immediately guessed his trick. "I know everything." her arms folded over her chest.

He burst into a giggle, his laughter chiming around the walls. Yusuf carefully pulled out a paper and stem. Was it a flower? "Janamdin Mubarak ho, mere mehbooba." he murmured, holding a rose to her. The delicate petals blazed brighter in the rays of the sun. Its crimson also splashed on her cheeks, burning every bit of skin. She clasped the rose and fiddled the petals. "Thank you, I shall cherish this always." 

"Also, this." his tone now deemed a hiss, fading into the wind sweeping through them. He handed her the paper. She was to unfold it but he paused her. "Open it when you reach home," 

She wondered what lurked in it that he insisted open it not now. Yet, she nodded in compliance and shot him a grateful smile. 

Lunchtime fled by Yusuf complimenting Gurbani's cooking skills, Faajal observing him devour suji and a gossip about Devika Rani's love life. 

"She eloped twice with the same man. Hence, her husband Himanshu set Ashok Kumar as her next co-star to thwart such situations, again."

"Love is a dangerous thing," Faajal remarked, shaking her head.  "Also the purest if between soulmates," Yusuf said. His impassive claim flickered something inscrutable in her. Was a sign towards her? She expressed no comeback but blinked restlessly. 

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

At night, 

Tears splashed onto the paper as Faajal's orbs traced the words and the meaning behind them. The ink on the paper scattered into numerous shades, unbelievable as comprising hues of the colour black. It defined murk, gloom, and concealment. But today it flared someone's heart. The words barely perceptible now, having soaked an incessant fall of tears. Her hands shivered. The letter had been in her grasp for nearly 2 hours. Everyone else at home was in profound rest now. Only the moon and the candle in front be the only witness of her tear-stricken cheeks. Her hands' thankless clutch had wrinkled the letter. Muffled weeps wrestled to flee her throat. Yusuf was an angel of dreams, surely. He radiated such an aura, even the dullest of temperaments illuminated by his presence. His arrival was abrupt but a welcome of sunshine.  The life she had despised so much glimmered fairer by his company. But, this sudden confession; her insides revelled knowing his emotions a mirror of hers, yet it conceived innumerable fetters, enough to tarnish their lives. 

Faajal,

Love, it is such a thing that once it clings to your heart, you are never free of its essence. It's like a subtle scent, imbues you slowly yet grasps you tightly. Love lives you, love kills you. It is the disease Majnu died from, it is the cure Allah dispenses to the wounded. 

I have been a victim of this disease, a witness of the thrills this cure Allah granted me. Believe me, Faajal, whenever your smile casts upon me, I feel myself lost in an unfathomable trench, uncaring of all the skirmishes of the world except for the gleams of light beckoning over me. When those doe-like eyes of yours fall on me, I feel my heart pounding the ribcage to set free, to soar in the ecstasy of love. I don't know how it happened when it happened, but I know, something nestled in the strings of my heart, and that is, you.

Does your heart beat to mine? Do your longings imply towards me? I await your answer, soon.

Even did she admit her tenderness for him, they were astray. Countless thorns laid on their trail,  each more ferocious than the previous. Ravinder could thrust his conscience to oblivion and bash Yusuf at the first chance. If this matter entered his ear, he might smash her into pieces until no hope remained to recover. Her life was already a catastrophe, she wanted no more. Her head pounded beneath the weight of indecision. Every consideration towed her from all sides. The question now poised between her heart and her brain. Should she emphasize her wish or her duty? 

The latter won. She snatched a ragged piece of paper from her diary and pierced its heart with dark ink. Her stomach wrenched to let the words out but she must muster the courage.

Yusuf,

Love is indeed an unpredictable being. It grows unforeseen for the persons we never expect. But, a difference aparts love and momentary flutters. And this age is prone to these temporary euphoria which soon fades with the passage of time. It would do good for us if we kept ourselves within the boundary of friendship and respected each other's morals.

Faajal folded the paper and slid it into an envelope. She gagged on the cry gurgling behind her throat as her heart ached, probing his heartbreak. It was also a torment to her, a searing lash on her heart. But, for the good, these words must erase the glint in his eyes. The ethereal smile of his lips for whose kiss, she might war against a thousand devils. The flame of the candle before her flickered for the cool breeze fluttering, fighting for its life. But soon, it smoked away as the bud of their potential bond. No apology on earth could meet the storm that would sweep his face. Yet, she was compelled to show such rigidity. She must conceal her affection at the cost of her yearning. She shoved the envelope near her pounding heart. 

Faajal picked the crimson rose, the token of the glittering sensation in between them, decidedly quenched. Caressing its soft petal for the last time, she buried it between the pages. Just like her feelings; forsaken and concealed. Tears seeped down her throat. The rustle of leaves outside seemed to whisper her wishes, hidden yet existing.

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

The next day, she mumbled the name of Waheguru and delivered the letter by a studio staff. Lunchtime approached nearer and her heart pumped faster, anticipating an outburst from him. She drew shaky breaths to calm her nerves, yet the tension hung on her mind; ailing and frightening. 

Ravinder walked away like usual, finishing his lunch. Faajal warmed her cold sweat-dripped hands. Her spine shuddered from the ice seeping into her spine. A lump swelled beneath her throat, blocking words from escaping.

"You're the biggest liar I've seen in my life and you'll live a lonely life like you are, now!" Yusuf thundered at the door. His complexion fumed red, his nostril stiffened, jaw tautened. His contorted expression froze her insides. She rose from her seat. Her eyes countered those dilated blue eyes that once caged dazzles in them. Those exquisite orbs once served as a sign of fervour, today it flared the contrast. 

"You're the biggest liar and coward in the world, I swear. Otherwise, you wouldn't-" he gagged his claims, seeming to refrain himself. A pause settled over them.

"Why do you betray your heart? I know, I know, why are you lying, Faajal? But, chances only come when we dare step out of our line. When we summon the courage!"

Faajal inhaled deeply. "I am not betraying myself! I know what I am doing!"

"No, you don't! I know better than anyone!" He gripped her arms and jostled her rashly. How would he know the ache that pierced her heart? But, she couldn't relinquish now. Not when she reached this far. 

"Just say one time, just say-" his voice trembled. Tears sprang on his eyelids, prickling her with a pang of shame. She gritted her teeth, slipping into the mask of indifference. "I always thought a friend. And as I said, we should keep it there," she yanked her arms free of his clutch. His eyes widened in shock. The red in his cheeks now flushed in grey. 

"Don't overstep yourself!" she cursed the tremor in her tone for grief, hoping he believed it as rage. Counting on falsehood wasn't her moral, but she had to. He deserved a competent match, not someone like her; coward and hurtful. "I thought you'd understand, I was wrong. You love me doesn't mean I do the same. Please, keep your distance from me." she stepped back a foot. 

The pallor of his face implied her she struck true. A fatal blow, a swift death. He took steps aloof from her. "Have a godod time, Faajal. Sorry for overstepping,"  his lips tilted into a bitter smile. He stormed away from the room, leaving her cordoned in despair and remorse. 

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

At night,

Faajal writhed on bed, no trace of sleep clouding over. "If you just held the courage, didi," Chanchal sighed beside, her eyes shimmering at Faajal. "What do you think, Chanchal? I don't want to? But, baba will do something bad, I know." 

"He is a gem, didi. How can you so easily forget he risked his life to save you?" 

"I never forgot, Chanchal. That's why, I made this sacrifice, a tiny payment to the debt I own. He doesn't deserve me. Not a frail girl like me," she sniffled, crumbling the blanket between her fingers. 

Chanchal's huff echoed in the air, heavy with sorrow. Faajal creaked her eyes shut. The strain of her nerves loosened. 

Faajal lifted her eyes open. Her surroundings awash with gloom, pulsating with eerie silence. "Is anyone there?" she spun here and there. The echo of her calls only answered. Trepidation shivered her spine. The place was surely blatant, mulling horror beyond its colourless veil. Änyone there?" her tone quivered. She sucked a ragged breath to pacify her racing heart but deadly ponders courted in to shrink it more. 

Suddenly, a thicket of mist obstructed her sight. She briskly thrashed her hands to drive the fog away. A face appeared into view, so familiar she recognized it more than her own. "Yusuf?"

His face radiated the golden shimmer he carried usually. His lips were a thin line but his eyes sparkled. In the quietest of moments, it was his eyes which depicted his emotions. "I won't intrude in your life, again, Faajal." he declared, the hiss of his tone reverberating around.    

"Yu-" his frame inched afar slowly. She stretched her hand to touch him but his form reared speedier. "Alvida, Faajal." His shimmered and started dissolving into thousand of rose petals. Each shooting glitters and swirled away with a rash gale. She gathered more pace, unwilling to let go as the bud of their potential bond. "NO!" 

Only a few petals flitted when she reached them. She was to seize one but they whisked away, followed by a surge of sparkles. A single one brushed against her cheek and followed its companions. It was too late. She lost him again. She dropped on her knees and allowed her sob to outpour, allowed her grief to barge free out of the seal she composed.

A sudden distant flicker caught her eyes. That flicker soon expanded to a ripple; A whip of flame that soon scattered across, replacing the darkness. That accident flooded back around her. Faajal spun behind to detect that same chandelier, lingering on the last link of its iron chain. It dangled above. A centimetre left to collapse. 

The chandelier collapsed on the tide of fire. Shards of alit glass strewed across, just like when she witnessed the mishap. A sliver flew up to her face and before her eyes were blinded she caught two blue orbs staring at her. 

A nightmare feeling so real. She inhaled briskly to fill her hungry lungs for air. Faajal ran her fingers through her hair and tugged the curls so tight, they might unroot. Her other hand crumpled the blanket between her fingers. It was a mere dream. Yet, older say nightmares courted omens, omens that tarnish our lives. 

She wiped off the sweat dripping from her cheeks. Penance addled her thoughts, berating her for committing this misdeed. She glanced at the moon, gleaming only half tonight. It was incomplete, just like her. 

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

Sun ascended in the sky, chasing away the clouds of night. Its golden aura alluded in the horizon for a new start. Faajal prepared a heartfelt speech for Yusuf, hoping to subside his heartache and renew their relationship. Though they weren't fated to leap a step further, their friendship should remain intact. When she hurled those harsh lies, she didn't aim for their friendship. 

She just prayed her plea came true. She was tired of being buried in sorrow and dullness. Nowadays, Ravinder softened his rein over her actions, so he would idle his time away by gossiping with staff, reading newspapers or boasting with the senior workers. Faajal's play might be delayed a few minutes or more. So, she dodged attention and sneaked to hall no. 11 where Yusuf's play was scheduled. 

There he stood at a far corner, watching his co-stars render their performance. This year, Yusuf gained a promotion from the authority, marking him one of the fancied of the boss herself. His growing prominence was the fruit of his hard work. 

He seemed engulfed in thoughts. She knew that look whenever he calculated each consideration against his intuition. An amused smile lifted her lips. His solemn exterior tempted her to fall for him more. How brilliant he looked even without smiles! 

He walked from the stage. Faajal stepped inside the backstage to find him. He was nowhere. 
Suddenly, someone tapped her shoulder. She turned back to see Yusuf glaring at her. Those blue eyes glazed except for the endearing gaze. His eyes alone trapped her in countless questions, riddling her with haste. She fixed him with a somber stare, eager to let the words out but his stern expression made her gulp back her courage. He scrunched his brow, a line creased on his temple. 

She mustered the strength finally, pulling a gulpful of air. "Yusuf," 

A call sounded for him on their way and he stomped to its source, bumping her shoulder. He didn't even flinch from shunning her, leaving her dismayed and waned. What relief did he get from tantalizing her? Disappointed with herself, she ran ahead, having enough of agony. 

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

A week passed in this mute war. Faajal had black circles imprinted under her eyes. Decline on rest and peace, depleted her vigour, unabling her to toil more. These lost days felt like eternity. Each and every second tormented her already bruised heart only to bleed it out. Nights turned dull, days turned blanched. Everything smothered in oblivion, now. 

Her life relapsed into twilight, a moonless twilight. 

A/N: This is the longest chapter I have written so far. What's your thought on Faajal and Yusuf's relationship? I tried to cram some more but then thought to leave you guys with a cliffhanger. Don't forget to vote and pour your love if you enjoyed.

Bye,

Luna

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top