∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Minho's eyes widened, clearly shaken by my words. His shoulders slumped further, his gaze searching mine for something I wasn't sure he could find. I held his gaze, letting the silence linger, waiting for him to say something—anything—that might make this easier.

"I don't," he began, his voice almost a whisper, "I didn't feel good about hurting you. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Then why did you?!" My voice cracked, raw with anger and pain.

I could see the struggle within him, the battle between his pride and something deeper, but I knew not to expect vulnerability.

"Then why did you say all those things if you never wanted to hurt me?' I pleaded. "Am I really a burden? Just a weak girl dragging you all down? Pathetic? Is that all I am to you?" Uncontrollable sobs escaped me, and through the flood of tears, I could barely see him.

"I know most of it's true, but please, Minho, you have to know I tried. I did my best. I tried not to let my problems drag me down, knowing they're nothing compared to yours, but I couldn't. I couldn't." My sobs grew more violent as I begged him. "I did my best, Minho. I really did. Please...you need to see that. You have to believe me."

I buried my face in my hands, the sobs getting relentless and I don't want him to see it directly.

Just then, I heard shuffling, then felt arms wrap around my shoulders and back, pulling me close to his chest.

That only made me cry harder. I didn't care how I looked to him anymore. He already saw me as someone weak, I might as well drop the tough act, right?

I tried my best to talk clearly against my hands, "I don't know what...what's going on anymore. Why does it have to be like this? Why am I...why am I like this?"

A moment of silence, thick with tension.

"It's unfair how I can only remember the bad things, when all I want it to be is good, to feel good," I said, once the sobs lessened. But tears still continued to fall down, flooding my hands.

"But I can't, because these dreams or memories keep haunting me. Like I deserve to have this in my mind. Like it has been planted in me. Like they wanted me to remember every bad thing that happened to me, to torture me."

I don't know what went through my mind but the words just kept spilling out of my mouth. It was too late to stop now.

"Now, it's making me think that maybe there was nothing actually good that happened in my life before this. Like I was born into it and it's all I've ever known since."

"I'm being a bad person right now and I don't even know why?" Shaking my head, I looked up at him, noticing his eyes welled up with tears. I frowned at the sight.

Why does it break me to see him tear up?

I avoided his eyes, looking down, "I don't know why I keep having these dreams or memories– I'm not even sure what it was at this point. It makes me act badly. Why can it control me, when I just want to be my real self? I don't know who I truly am, but I hope this isn't me."

My unstable breaths filled the air between us.

"Shucking hell, that's...a lot, Bean." He muttered softly as he caressed the back of my head, looking down at me with pity. His other arm was placed on my back, holding me in place, and acted as a support in case I fully broke down.

Which I did. I broke into a cry again, sobbing like a little girl against the hold of someone who felt so caring. And he did it so effortlessly.

I don't get how the guy who absolutely destroyed me can also comfort me with a simple hug without putting in so much effort.

His hold felt new yet familiar, like a medicine I needed all my life. As if his touch was all I needed for the parasites that were draining all of me to leave my heart and mind, replacing it with calm and serenity.

Damn, I'm that deprived, huh?

"It's okay." His calm voice cut through my sobs as he continued to gently caress my hair as if he was scared he was doing it wrong. "Let it all out, Bean. I'm here."

"That's the thing," I sniffed, wiping my nose, still looking up at him. "Why...why are you here? Why are you...being like this?"

"To apologize. But to also talk about what happened in the maze, but I realize now is not the time. None of that doesn't matter right now."

"Yeah, no shit ass-hat." I wiped my nose before taking a step back, glancing up at him once again before looking away.

"I'm sure Alby was also disorientated with that sudden change of attitude you did." He scoffed, a hint of playfulness in his voice, making the corner of my lips tug in a curve.

"But he'd go insane if he saw how you acted at that meeting and compared to how you are now." I retorted back, a hint of edge to my voice but the smirk never left the corners of my lips.

He frowned a bit, his gaze softening, looking guilty. Minho took a deep breath before speaking, "There, better?"

Shrugging, I replied, "A bit, yeah, I guess. "

He hummed in response, and then the silence between us became awkward in no time. We could only hear the winds whistling outside the hut, the candles were all dying out.

I was cursing myself internally, hoping the ground would swallow me whole. Maybe the candle falling down so it would burn the Med-hut?

No!

I should run out, saying I need a shower.

Why am I suddenly being so awkward what the fuck–

"You should...I don't know, rest maybe." His voice pulled me out of the conversation I was having with myself.

I glanced at him.

He continued. "You look exhausted, so, yeah. Rest here for the night."

I blinked a few times before realizing I needed to reply, so I nodded slowly, which he mirrored subconsciously.

Kill me now.

Don't though.

Girl–

"Also," I flinched a bit when I heard his voice again, surprised he wasn't done talking, which wasn't bad.

Okay, what?

"If you want, you, uh, we can talk about it again tomorrow? If you only want to, of course." His chest was out, and his proper and confident posture was back, but his avoidance of eye contact betrayed his attempt at appearing to be unbothered by this awkward situation we were having. "I mean I know you also need someone, so, yeah, I'll be here– or...or Newt or Thomas."

I narrowed my eyes and slightly frowned, weirded out by this whole thing we were having. "I'll need to think about it–"

"Yeah, sure. No rush." He nodded quickly, shifting his weight from side to side. "Alright, good night. Sleep tight. Oh, that rhymed." His eyes widened after he blurted that out. "Bye."

I blinked and he was out the door.

Okay...I need serious fixing because what was that?

I was about to head back to my cot when I suddenly heard the door open again. Feeling my heart pound fast once more, I turned back to see who it was. It was Minho stepping inside again, but half his body was outside the door.

"I'm really sorry, Wren. I don't expect you to forgive me right now...or ever, but just know that I really never meant to hurt you." His voice was quiet and soft but his posture was proper. He looked and sounded genuine. I hoped he was. "I'll do anything to make sure you find it in your heart to give me another chance for us to be...okay."

I stared at him, my gaze softened as his words sank in. I was too stunned to reply with words so I just ended up nodding and blinking repeatedly. He nodded back, his lips formed in a straight thin line before disappearing out the door.

A/N: HEY POOKIES, another chapter before i go bye bye on wp again T-T. I'm really sorry for being so inactive. It's all college work and orgs and gaddamn the workload is heavy as fuck. But overall, I'm doing well, except my sleeping sched. I live on 4 hrs of sleep lolol anyways, just reassuring yall again that this fic will never discontinue. 

ILY ALL <33