Yeah, I feel lonely,
Or am I just really alone?
Or is being alone, being free?
Yet I say, I feel peachy,
Even when I'm not.

I have twenty playlists,
And a bunch of sad songs.
Sad poems make me happy,
Happy poems make me crappy.
But mind you, I'm not depressed,
I'm just a little bit messed.

You see me smile all day,
Without noticing the laziness in it.
You love the gleam in my eyes,
But you never notice the bags under them.
You like my smooth skin,
But you hate my complexion.

You think I can't be gloomy,
Just because my jokes were funny.
You think I can't be lonely,
Just because I have some friends.
You think I can't be bored,
Just because I have my books.
And how do I tell you,
All you think, is way too wrong?

Now, don't call me depressed,
Because I'm not.
Life's just a bit messed,
And that's okay.
Not feeling okay,
Is not being depressed,
And everything is really okay.

I'm just torn between-
Pretending to be okay,
And being really okay.
I want to socialize,
But home feels safer.
I want to live a life,
But I'm afraid it won't be fun.

Everytime you call me depressed,
I become even more afraid of life.
Everytime you say I'm too lonely,
I feel more gloomy.
Everytime you tell me to interact,
I feel like I can't be the exact,
The exact one they want me to be.

I know, I'm lonely,
Or maybe alone.
It's too confusing,
How do I make life amusing?
I want to be alone,
But I don't want to be lonely.

I want friends,
But I shut them out.
I want a boyfriend,
But I'm afraid he'll leave me.
I want a perfect life,
But I'm afraid I'll mess it up.
I want to change,
But will they still accept me?

Yet, over and again,
I'll say-
I'm not depressed,
It's just a bit messed,
And your mind is too thick to get this,
And that's really okay.
This won't last forever,
I know, I'll be okay, all over again.

~ash.

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The small 'a' in my name looks more cool, doesn't it?

Comment your thoughts on this poetry and don't forget to vote. I hope you like it ;)

Is being alone, being free?

Also, up there it's Riptide by Vance Joy. I'm obsessed with that song.