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[Jaemin]

I get up from my bed before exiting my room.

There I heard my parents talking about y/n.

I felt my jaw starting to shake.

My eyes starting to get teary.

My feet couldn't move.

My body isn't responding.

I held the wall for support as I walk towards her room.

I quietly open the door.

I close the door behind me.

The sunset giving the room an orange light.

I walk towards her bed, sitting on it.

I was staring on the ground until I turn my head.

There I saw the matching plushies we had since we were little.

I grabbed it, pulling it closer to me.

That's when I felt my tears fall.

I caress the panda plushie closer to me.

I felt my tears on my own pyjamas.

I felt it drip on my hands.

The next second, the only audible sounds in my room was my sobs.

My cries.

My voice calling out her name.

My thoughts crashing into one another.

The only sounds in the room were all mine.

"Y/n.... please... come back.."

I cried.

And cried.

And cried..

And cried....

Until I have passed out.

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[Jeno]

I lie down on my bed lifelessly.

I can feel my legs go numb.

My arms go numb.

My hands feel so numb.

My wrist is tired from my trying to give it more pain.

My heart feels broken.

My mind is empty but her.

All I could think about is how I should continue living.

About what should I do from now on.

About what to feel from now on.

About my actual purpose in life.

And about her.

Y/n.

I couldn't think of anyone to blame but me.

Anyway, it was my fault so I don't know why I think of anyone to blame.

I started this madness.

I started this pain.

I started this sadness.

I started this void.

I started everything.

And I ended everything.

With such a fucked up mind.

My eyes landed on the cutter on my desk.

I lifelessly and tiredly sit up from my bed.

I can feel my hand shaking just from trying to reach it.

It's been far too long.

It felt years, forever.

My hand finally holds the cutter.

I bring it closer to me.

I start to feel regret.

I start to think about regretting this.

I start to think about other choices.

But it keeps coming back to this direction.

And I don't know what to do.

I felt myself crying again.

I felt my tears fall on my comforter again.

I felt it fall on my bloody, injured and numb wrist.

I place the cutter on my wrist, getting ready to press it through my skin once again.

"Y/n... if you're there..."

"Please help me...."

"Please stop me..."

"Please.. I need you.."

"Stop me please, y/n."

"I don't want to fucking do this but I keep doing it."

"Y/n, fucking stop me please!"

I shouted as I felt the cold metal make contact on the skin.

I heard the door open and I look up, seeing Renjun with shock on his face.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING DOING, LEE JENO!?"

He runs towards me, grabbing the cutter from my hand.

He throws it to the side and he immediately turns on the lights.

He runs back towards me with tissues and the water bottle on my desk.

"Thank God, I felt something wrong."

He said, pouring water on the tissue.

He pressed it on my skin as he starts to clean the dried blood there.

The dried blood there for days.

"Thank God, I came in time before you actually did it."

He said.

And y/n popped into my mind, again.

"You had... a feeling?" I asked.

He nodded, continuing to clean the blood.

"I'll get the aid kit. Wait here."

He stands up, grabbing the cutter on the floor.

He walks closer to the door.

"Renjun, wait..." I called him softly and he stopped.

"Was it y/n?" I asked him.

Hoping for him to say yes.

Hoping for him to feel like y/n is with us.

Hoping for me knowing that y/n is with us right now.

He didn't turn his head but...

"Yes, it is her."

With that, he exited my room.

That's when I broke down again.

When I felt like hope is piling up again.

Hope that I wish would never disappear.

Hope that I wish would never disappoint.

Hope that I wish wouldn't kill me.

Hope that I wish would make her wake up.

But is it possible...

With only hope?

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Who else have cried with the other chapters?

Cause I have :") and I'm writing them.