⚠️: Mentions of suicide

SIREN woke up before Crackhead, probably because he had gotten a little too comfortable.

Her hands were wrapped around his middle, which he held tightly. And even with their height difference, he had managed to snuggle up against her.

Today, they would have to pack to leave these mountains and go somewhere else so WICKED had less chances of finding them. But first, Siren forced herself to finally go talk to Newt.

It took a while before she freed herself away from Thomas's grip, mostly because she had tried to be as quiet as possible. The boy deserved some sleep, and she wasn't even talking about how cute he looked... or that she had underestimated his hair, which looked just as perfect as his nose and eyes and probably everything.

Siren quickly got dressed, hoping Thomas wouldn't wake up to that. She made a braid in her hair, rubbed sleep out of her eyes, and slipped into her shoes.

After three years of observing, she was well aware Newt was morning person. No way he wasn't awake yet.

His roommate, was in fact not a morning person. However, Siren guessed he would be forced to wake up early because of the amount of time he spent on his hair.

You know who she's talking about.

Anyway. She slumped through the damp air, the fresh morning smell filling her nose. Very few people were awake. They were either baking things or talking quietly, but it couldn't have been more than fifteen people.

Siren ended up not being able to find Newt getting breakfast, helping to make breakfast, or just limping around... but she did find Minho waiting in line for a sandwich. Strange.

She gave him a sharp glance. "Where's Newt?"

Minho shrugged, only having eyes for food. "He was here a few minutes ago. Then went back to our tent."

"Why?"

Another shrug. "Boy said he was tired. He indeed looked tired."

Worry crashed into Siren. If Newt grabbed onto his old habits in any way, she had to take action fast.

"Did he eat?"

"He will."

"How long has he been-."

"The fact that he's tired doesn't mean he-."

Siren decided Minho didn't help and wasn't planning to, so walked away before he could even finish his sentence. His tent was her destination.

"Newt?" She almost knocked, then remembered it wasn't a hard wall. "You in here?"

It was a few seconds of anxiously waiting. "Yeah, one sec."

This time, she waited patiently. It didn't take as long as the first time and soon, Newt invited her in.

"Hey."

"Hi."

Newt sat on his bed with his pajama shorts still on. A big hoodie covered his torso, the cap over his head so all she could see was the messy blonde hair.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." But his voice cracked. "What's up? Sit down, by the way."

Siren awkwardly sat next to him. "Just went to check up on you."

"Why?"

"Because there was something I had to tell you, but then I noticed you weren't with Minho."

"Yeah," he said again. "Because I was tired."

"Sorry if I woke you up."

"You didn't," Newt assured. "So what did you have to tell me? Must be important, 'cause you never talk to me."

Damn, that kind of hurt.

Siren opened her mouth to defended herself, but there was nothing she could think of. Thinking about it, she realized she was actually a very bad friend.

"Sorry." Newt sounded panicky now. "It just flopped out of my mouth and it was rude-."

"But it's true." She murmured. "Anyway. Are you sure you're okay?"

A long silence.

"Not really." An exhale left Newt's mouth as he moved his sleeves over his slim hands, so those were covered. "I feel shitty."

"That's okay. You're allowed to."

"But it makes me do shitty things. The thing I just told you? That was rude and bloody shitty." Siren didn't have the chance to reply; he continued. "But when most people try to help me from feeling shitty, they act like I'm a tit-suckin' baby."

Siren almost snorted. Almost. 

And then hoped Thomas didn't call her baby because she was a 'tit-sucking' one.

"And I actually have no idea why I feel like this. We're safe, I have friends, a proper bed, food... and yet I can't bring myself to feel safe, enjoy time with my friends, sleep well, and eat well, only because I feel bloody unsafe after everything that was going on, and I don't know why."

Siren wasn't sure was to reply. Giving people advice or comforting them wasn't her best quality.

"And I'm sorry I'm annoying you with this klunk now."

"No, it's fine. I'd rather have you to reach out than suffer in silence."

Should take my own advice.

Newt turned to look at her. And.. shit.

His eyes were bloodshot, tear stains printed on his cheeks and an eyelash on them. He had been crying. And hard, too.

Siren stared with her mouth half open, for sure taken aback now.

"Yes, I cried." Newt rolled his eyes. "It's not like it's a new thing for anyone. I cried, lovely."

"That's okay," she assured hesitantly. "A good cry can be nice."

"True. Now, what did you need to tell me so badly?"
Luckily, Newt sounded softer now, the regret of what he had said earlier visible in his eyes.

"It's gonna come as a big shock, trust me... just a warning."

"Spit it out."

"You have two sisters."

Newt froze, eyes widening at Siren.

"You said 'spit it out'!"

"I thought you were gonna... I don't know- tell me you broke something.." Was all he managed to say, then stared at her again, natural colors in his face paling.

"And I know who one of them is," she added. Maybe not her best move.

"Who?" His voice came out low now, still cracking.

Carefully, she told him the name. "Marie."

Newt looked down for a long time, his hands slowly starting to shake, along with his shoulders. Panic rose up in Siren's chest. How the hell was she supposed to deal with someone who was crying? She wasn't completely sure if Newt wanted physical touch, or comforting words, or for her to leave him alone.

Sniffs left his nose as Siren scooted a bit closer, lying an unsure hand on Newt's shoulder. She hated how she never knew how to deal with this crap. Made her overthink. Like, Thomas had held her when she cried, but that... that was different than this.

When she scooted even closer, Newt looked up. "Don't do anything you're not comfortable with."

She could practically feel her heart ripping now.

Sometimes, she wished she could enjoy touch like Thomas did. But she couldn't. Not always, at least.

"Jorge showed me a drawing of you watching two girls, who were locked away from you. And I got a memory of WICKED taking you and whoever your other sister is away, while Marie got taken by someone else. AKA my kidnapper." She explained. It was the least she could do. "I remember the name Lizzy."

Newt soon wiped his tears away, while nodding at what Siren said. "Sorry. I-"

"Don't worry," she cut him off, "We don't find out we have siblings everyday, do we?"

"True," he confirmed. "So that means Zach is my stepbrother?"

"I guess. Sorry for shocking you."

"It's okay. I'm glad you told me." He managed to give Siren a tiny smile, a hint of joy in his eyes. "And again, I'm really sorry for what I said."

"It was the truth."

"So what? It was harsh. And it's not like you're forced to talk to me."

"But we're supposed to be friends."

"We are friends," he said. "We've been friends since the beginning of The Maze. You helped me through panic attacks, Siren. I threw a bloody book at your head because it made me sad thinking about how you had to watch me after my failed attempt. Nick and I had to think of new curse words because you and Minho wouldn't stop cussing the living klunk out of everyone."

Siren's head fell down, tears begging to form in her eyes, but she wouldn't let them. She had forgotten about all those things. In fact, she had been trying to forget every little thing that had happened in The Maze, because it made her sad. But maybe that was it. Maybe she had to think about the sad things in order to recover.

"I'm sorry I don't talk to you much," she whispered. "I should have, but I didn't. And I don't exactly know why."

"Because you only take the love you think you deserve. Not more."

Her stomach dropped, breathing hitching. "...what makes you think that?"

"I recognize myself in you. Or rather, the Newt before my attempt."

"Are you saying I should attempt to-"

"Oh my god, no. Woman, your humor is bloody broken."

A laugh escaped Siren's lips and soon, Newt chuckled too.

"Now, we better go get breakfast before Tommy kills me for wasting his time with you and Minho gets suspicious."

With another laugh, Siren got up. "I like the nickname you gave him."

"I do, too. So you better not steal it from me."

"I won't. I've got my own nickname for him."